Randy Wells Splooge-a-thon

[PenFoe]

Get this dude a win, now. Please.  

EDIT: or don't. fuck it. it's not important.

Carlos Marmol and his Clown Car Antics don't feel it's important either.

Good job getting him out of there before it got really bad. Heilman did a nice job, hard as it is to admit.

I thought he had him at third, meaning he should have gotten out of that inning with Wells' win intact.

That should have been called an out on the force at third.  Especially since he didn't slide, the call should have been easier to make.

The ump was in a bad position to make the call either way, but it certainly looked like an out to me.

It was still a dumb decision to go to 3rd.

Why?  It should have been an out.

Maybe it should have been an out, there's was no angle of the ball going in along with the foot.
Regardless, it was an questionable gamble. You don't go to third unless you're sure you're gonna get the guy.

But considering the replay showed he DID get the guy, couldn't it be argued that he DID know he was gonna get the guy?

He went to Notre Dame, no way he would have known.

[Internet Apex]

Get this dude a win, now. Please.  

EDIT: or don't. fuck it. it's not important.

Carlos Marmol and his Clown Car Antics don't feel it's important either.

Good job getting him out of there before it got really bad. Heilman did a nice job, hard as it is to admit.

I thought he had him at third, meaning he should have gotten out of that inning with Wells' win intact.

That should have been called an out on the force at third.  Especially since he didn't slide, the call should have been easier to make.

The ump was in a bad position to make the call either way, but it certainly looked like an out to me.

It was still a dumb decision to go to 3rd.

Why?  It should have been an out.

Maybe it should have been an out, there's was no angle of the ball going in along with the foot.
Regardless, it was an questionable gamble. You don't go to third unless you're sure you're gonna get the guy.

But considering the replay showed he DID get the guy, couldn't it be argued that he DID know he was gonna get the guy?

You could argue that but you could also argue that a bang-bang play like that has a potentiality for the common umpire to bitch out and call a tie for the runner. The out at first was kind of sketchy too, I think. It was a good play by Heilman with an unfortunate result. He showed some guts and escaped serious damage there so for once this year, I'll give him credit. I'm sure he'll resume blowing ballgames, goats, dead people etc. on Tuesday though.

[Slaky]

Get this dude a win, now. Please.  

EDIT: or don't. fuck it. it's not important.

Carlos Marmol and his Clown Car Antics don't feel it's important either.

Good job getting him out of there before it got really bad. Heilman did a nice job, hard as it is to admit.

I thought he had him at third, meaning he should have gotten out of that inning with Wells' win intact.

That should have been called an out on the force at third.  Especially since he didn't slide, the call should have been easier to make.

The ump was in a bad position to make the call either way, but it certainly looked like an out to me.

It was still a dumb decision to go to 3rd.

Why?  It should have been an out.

Maybe it should have been an out, there's was no angle of the ball going in along with the foot.
Regardless, it was an questionable gamble. You don't go to third unless you're sure you're gonna get the guy.

But considering the replay showed he DID get the guy, couldn't it be argued that he DID know he was gonna get the guy?

You could argue that but you could also argue that a bang-bang play like that has a potentiality for the common umpire to bitch out and call a tie for the runner. The out at first was kind of sketchy too, I think. It was a good play by Heilman with an unfortunate result. He showed some guts and escaped serious damage there so for once this year, I'll give him credit. I'm sure he'll resume blowing ballgames, goats, dead people etc. on Tuesday though.

Is that a throwback reference to an old Tonk signature? Man, I'm sad for remembering that. Or maybe it's current? Too late, I'm already posting this. I could hit back...but no. I won't rob you of the chance to read this.

Back to the main point - I hope that was Heilman's turning of the proverbial corner. He's no Ass Can and he never will be but mediocrity wouldn't be asking for much, would it?

[Internet Apex]

Yep.

[Fork]

potentiality for the common umpire to bitch out
Is that a throwback reference to an old Tonk signature? Man, I'm sad for remembering that. Or maybe it's current? Too late, I'm already posting this. I could hit back...but no. I won't rob you of the chance to read this.

Tonk = Elmore Leonard?

[Internet Apex]

potentiality for the common umpire to bitch out
Is that a throwback reference to an old Tonk signature? Man, I'm sad for remembering that. Or maybe it's current? Too late, I'm already posting this. I could hit back...but no. I won't rob you of the chance to read this.

Tonk = Elmore Leonard?

Yeah, you didn't know that? Where have you been? Who else would have invented a British dude, living in the Netherlands who loves the Chicago Cubs because he had spent time in the Dominican Republic during a hurricaine in 1998? I mean that's the beauty of Leonard. You know a guy like this could exist, but why would he? If only he did. That would be 31 flavors of dope.

[RV]

I keep waiting for this son of a buck to start pitching like a guy who spent 3 years in Iowa, but he continues to be the balls. If the Gooz wasn't so goddamn good, I could tell you he's been the best pitcher on the team since his call-up.

If Wells keeps it up, Hendry can trade him for Chase Utley at the deadline, right?

[MAD]

He throws a lot of first pitch strikes.

They need to grab Ryan Dempster by his clown collar and shove his face into some game film of Wells, a la a dog whose face you shove into his own shit.

[ChuckD]

He throws a lot of first pitch strikes.

They need to grab Ryan Dempster by his clown collar and shove his face into some game film of Wells, a la a dog whose face you shove into his own shit.

Isn't the practice of shoving a dog's face in to his own shit intended to deter the dog from shitting in that area again?

[BC]

He throws a lot of first pitch strikes.

They need to grab Ryan Dempster by his clown collar and shove his face into some game film of Wells, a la a dog whose face you shove into his own shit.

Isn't the practice of shoving a dog's face in to his own shit intended to deter the dog from shitting in that area again?

So you're saying that Ryan Dempster should have his face shoved into a pile of his OWN shit?





That actually isn't that bad an idea... Nothing else is working.

[ChuckD]

So you're saying that Ryan Dempster should have his face shoved into a pile of his OWN shit?

If by "a pile of his OWN shit" you mean some game film from his starts, then, "Maybe."

[MAD]

He throws a lot of first pitch strikes.

They need to grab Ryan Dempster by his clown collar and shove his face into some game film of Wells, a la a dog whose face you shove into his own shit.

Isn't the practice of shoving a dog's face in to his own shit intended to deter the dog from shitting in that area again?

Yeah, but I just like the idea of shoving that clown's face somewhere.

He throws a lot of first pitch strikes.

They need to grab Ryan Dempster by his clown collar and shove his face into some game film of Wells, a la a dog whose face you shove into his own shit.

Isn't the practice of shoving a dog's face in to his own shit intended to deter the dog from shitting in that area again?

So you're saying that Ryan Dempster should have his face shoved into a pile of his OWN shit?

Better idea--just shove his face in Randy Wells' shit.

[BC]

So you're saying that Ryan Dempster should have his face shoved into a pile of his OWN shit?

If by "a pile of his OWN shit" you mean some game film from his starts, then, "Maybe."

Well, whenever I want to get out of my ass-grazing depression I just pop in a tape of a Dempster start. That makes me ANGRY.

[Philberto]

I keep waiting for this son of a buck to start pitching like a guy who spent 3 years in Iowa, but he continues to be the balls. If the Gooz wasn't so goddamn good, I could tell you he's been the best pitcher on the team since his call-up.

If Wells keeps it up, Hendry can trade him for Chase Utley at the deadline, right?

If they throw in Steve Eyre, then yes.

[*In a Nutsack]

In 10 starts, 2.43 ERA 45/14 K/BB, more IP than hits (63.0 IP/54 hits) and a sparklin 1.079 WHIP.  Rotoworld also threw this in, which I found pretty damn intriguing:

Wells has allowed more than three runs just once in 10 starts.

Splooge.