2013 Epstink's Chicago Cubstinks

[Brownie]

god damn it the robinson cano thing is not happening chuck

DAT EPSTINK SHUD TRADE MARMOL AND STEVEN STUART FOR CANO OR HE SHOULD OF BEEN G
FIRED ALREADY MY FRENT.

[Chuck to Chuck]

god damn it the robinson cano thing is not happening chuck

So, you're on board with Price and Scherzer?  Cool.

[Tonker]

god damn it the robinson cano thing is not happening chuck

I'm starting to wonder if Not Robinson Cano is our leading candidate for post-2014 FYC.

I like it, but what are we FYCing for?  When Robinson Cano hits one out for Not the Cubs?  When Robinson Cano goes 0-fer?  Or when Not Robinson Cano (e.g. Barney) has a good game?

Also, Chuck: Eli is right.  It's not going to happen.

1. He's already (ahem, Dominican) 30, so his best years are probably behind him already.
2. He's looking for a HUGE payday at the end of this year.
3. His agent is Boras, so you can forget paying anything other than top dollar.
4. Barney's not bad anyway, and the money could be far better spent somewhere else.
5. No, Chuck.

Give it up, man, seriously.  Jim Hendry might have tried to sign Cano.  Epstink and Hoystink won't - points 1 and 2 above in particular are pure Krypsteinite.

[Sterling Archer]

god damn it the robinson cano thing is not happening chuck

I'm starting to wonder if Not Robinson Cano is our leading candidate for post-2014 FYC.

I like it, but what are we FYCing for?  When Robinson Cano hits one out for Not the Cubs?  When Robinson Cano goes 0-fer?  Or when Not Robinson Cano (e.g. Barney) has a good game?

Also, Chuck: Eli is right.  It's not going to happen.

1. He's already (ahem, Dominican) 30, so his best years are probably behind him already.
2. He's looking for a HUGE payday at the end of this year.
3. His agent is Boras "Roc Nation", so you can forget paying anything other than top dollar.
4. Barney's not bad anyway, and the money could be far better spent somewhere else.
5. No, Chuck.

Give it up, man, seriously.  Jim Hendry might have tried to sign Cano.  Epstink and Hoystink won't - points 1 and 2 above in particular are pure Krypsteinite.

Aside from Cano leaving Boras to run this town with Jay Z, I'm with Tonk.  Just can't see them shelling out for a second baseman on the wrong side of 30 (especially with big contracts like Hamilton and Pujols already looking like huge mistakes, Hamilton especially) when they have Barney already.  Cano plays almost 162 games every season; there's no way he keeps that up over the length of his next contract.  He has to break down sometime, and he's due.  And this team obviously has bigger problems than 2B right now.  Even if Barney doesn't hit enough to avoid a net loss despite his glove, there's still a decent chance he'll figure things out early in the hypothetical Cano contract.  Then what?  The nice thing about Barney is he's never going to be a guy who makes a ton of money.  If he can approach league-average production at the plate, maybe a little under, his glove will add the rest and they can use those savings elsewhere.

I think there might be a place for Barney on a winning Cubs team.  I'm sure they'll eventually upgrade if they get a chance, but until then let him save runs in the field, save some money at the same time, and prioritize offense at other positions.  They'd rather spend the Cano money on extending Samardzija or setting some cash aside for Baez, Almora, Appel/Bryant/Gray, and other big needs.  Then, once the overall young talent level has been addressed, if second base is still a problem they'll have the flexibility to sign someone or make a trade.  Based on everything Epstink have said, signing a guy like Cano at this stage in his career doesn't seem to fit into the Cubs' plans.  I think Cano is ticketed for L.A. or New York anyway.

Since Vitters is far from a sure thing, if the Cubs did decide to spend money on the infield, a run at Chase Headley would be more likely.  Not saying it's all that likely, just more likely than Cano.  Headley's contract would come with its own problems -- he just turned 29 and he doesn't match Cano's consistency or durability.  Then there's the question whether Baez will end up at third, but that could be fixed by moving Headley back to LF.  I guess I'm trying to say it would make more sense than signing Cano, but I'm not gonna buy a Headley shirsey just yet.

[Tonker]

god damn it the robinson cano thing is not happening chuck

I'm starting to wonder if Not Robinson Cano is our leading candidate for post-2014 FYC.

I like it, but what are we FYCing for?  When Robinson Cano hits one out for Not the Cubs?  When Robinson Cano goes 0-fer?  Or when Not Robinson Cano (e.g. Barney) has a good game?

Also, Chuck: Eli is right.  It's not going to happen.

1. He's already (ahem, Dominican) 30, so his best years are probably behind him already.
2. He's looking for a HUGE payday at the end of this year.
3. His agent is Boras "Roc Nation", so you can forget paying anything other than top dollar.
4. Barney's not bad anyway, and the money could be far better spent somewhere else.
5. No, Chuck.

Give it up, man, seriously.  Jim Hendry might have tried to sign Cano.  Epstink and Hoystink won't - points 1 and 2 above in particular are pure Kr

How the fuck did I forget that so soon?  Anyway, the point stands.  You can bet ROC NATION will be looking to make a splash.

[Eli]

god damn it the robinson cano thing is not happening chuck

So, you're on board with Price and Scherzer?  Cool.

Pretty unlikely the Cubs would get both, but they'd at least make sense from an age/talent/positional standpoint.

[Fork]

Spending a fuckload of money on a guy like Caano for a team that is at least two years from contention is like putting Cragars on a car that is leaking transsmission fluid.

[BH]

Spending a fuckload of money on a guy like Caano for a team that is at least two years from contention is like putting Cragars on a car that is leaking transsmission fluid.

Time to post.

[CT III]

I like it, but what are we FYCing for?  When Robinson Cano hits one out for Not the Cubs?  When Robinson Cano goes 0-fer?  Or when Not Robinson Cano (e.g. Barney) has a good game?

Also, Chuck: Eli is right.  It's not going to happen.

1. He's already (ahem, Dominican) 30, so his best years are probably behind him already.
2. He's looking for a HUGE payday at the end of this year.
3. His agent is Boras, so you can forget paying anything other than top dollar.
4. Barney's not bad anyway, and the money could be far better spent somewhere else.
5. No, Chuck.

Give it up, man, seriously.  Jim Hendry might have tried to sign Cano.  Epstink and Hoystink won't - points 1 and 2 above in particular are pure Krypsteinite.

I agree with your ultimate point Tonk, but Darwin Barney is bad.

[Tonker]

I like it, but what are we FYCing for?  When Robinson Cano hits one out for Not the Cubs?  When Robinson Cano goes 0-fer?  Or when Not Robinson Cano (e.g. Barney) has a good game?

Also, Chuck: Eli is right.  It's not going to happen.

1. He's already (ahem, Dominican) 30, so his best years are probably behind him already.
2. He's looking for a HUGE payday at the end of this year.
3. His agent is Boras, so you can forget paying anything other than top dollar.
4. Barney's not bad anyway, and the money could be far better spent somewhere else.
5. No, Chuck.

Give it up, man, seriously.  Jim Hendry might have tried to sign Cano.  Epstink and Hoystink won't - points 1 and 2 above in particular are pure Krypsteinite.

I agree with your ultimate point Tonk, but Darwin Barney is bad.

Yeah, okay.  He's not good.

[R-V]

god damn it the robinson cano thing is not happening chuck

So, you're on board with Price and Scherzer?  Cool.

Pretty unlikely the Cubs would get both, but they'd at least make sense from an age/talent/positional standpoint.

First of all I am very much enjoying this Cubes baseball discussion. I had not heard until reading this thread that Scherzer was even a trade possibility, and was a little surprised that he'd be mentioned in the same sentence as Price. Price is a year younger, but Scherzer's numbers are slightly better:

Price:      839 IP, 3.52 FIP, 8.3 K/9, 15 WAR
Scherzer: 852 IP, 3.62 FIP, 9.4 K/9, 16.9 WAR

And what's this about Matt Moore? Why would the Rays trade him this offseason when he'll only be 24?

[Eli]

god damn it the robinson cano thing is not happening chuck

So, you're on board with Price and Scherzer?  Cool.

Pretty unlikely the Cubs would get both, but they'd at least make sense from an age/talent/positional standpoint.

First of all I am very much enjoying this Cubes baseball discussion. I had not heard until reading this thread that Scherzer was even a trade possibility, and was a little surprised that he'd be mentioned in the same sentence as Price. Price is a year younger, but Scherzer's numbers are slightly better:

Price:      839 IP, 3.52 FIP, 8.3 K/9, 15 WAR
Scherzer: 852 IP, 3.62 FIP, 9.4 K/9, 16.9 WAR

And what's this about Matt Moore? Why would the Rays trade him this offseason when he'll only be 24?

I saw it somewhere on Twitter but can't seem to find it now. I guess the thinking was that the Rays could get a better package for Moore than Price since he's under control for longer. Not sure I buy it because that's exactly the reason the Rays should want him around. He'll be cheap for another 3-4 years.

[Chuck to Chuck]

god damn it the robinson cano thing is not happening chuck

So, you're on board with Price and Scherzer?  Cool.

Pretty unlikely the Cubs would get both, but they'd at least make sense from an age/talent/positional standpoint.

First of all I am very much enjoying this Cubes baseball discussion. I had not heard until reading this thread that Scherzer was even a trade possibility, and was a little surprised that he'd be mentioned in the same sentence as Price. Price is a year younger, but Scherzer's numbers are slightly better:

Price:      839 IP, 3.52 FIP, 8.3 K/9, 15 WAR
Scherzer: 852 IP, 3.62 FIP, 9.4 K/9, 16.9 WAR

And what's this about Matt Moore? Why would the Rays trade him this offseason when he'll only be 24?

There's some speculation that the Verlander's deal means the Tigers would need to trade Scherzer to stay under or closer to luxury tax levels.  That's also part of the speculation with Robins...  never mind.

[Slaky]

How does last place smell, Milwaukee? Alt title: How Epstink's ass taste?