I admit it...

[PANK!]

For the record, I think most of the people here on Team Dempster generally threw their weight behind him because he's a good pitcher. Not because we loved his impressions.

STRAWMAN ALERT!

I never disputed that he was a quality pitcher, just that this asshattery far outweighed it.  I mean he wasn't that good.

Oh, for the love of Christ...

In the shoutbox, Huey asks "when have I ever pretended that Dempster is a technically BAD pitcher?"

... this unicycle pedalling paragon to Northside asshattery has managed to pitch the Cubs out of the playoffs in two seperate seasons because he's had a whopping three  really good regular seasons.

Yay? 

*rolls eyes*

Fuck him.

... for chrissakes throw the goddamn ball over the plate when we really need you to.  Pretty fucking please?  And if he won't, can he at least just leave town and relieve us of our suffering (Except for Eli, Slaky, Yeti and Tonker, who are totally gay for Dempster)?

Really, my point is that Opening Day--though as meaningless as the other 161 games in a 95 loss season-- is still considered a "Big Game" and that motherfucker did the exact same thing he did against the Dodgers four years earlier.  Jesus--where' the hate?!?!

What really matters is that it doesn't matter that Dempster is an above-average pitcher. Huey's willing to stipulate as much.

He's still a pants-shitting shitty pitcher those times he pitches shitty, though.

Awesome.  So I guess it's my turn to quote from somewhere else where I, too, get the last line.

I honestly don't see where that's proof where I felt otherwise.  Good pitchers can pitch shittily in big games.  This is what we have here, and I'm vexed by it.  Sue me.

The real question is, was Thrill able to land safely on his fainting couch after being propelled into one of his patented hysterical fits of righteous indignation?

[Richard Chuggar]

My meatball contribution...
Dempster has some talent.  He never was a star.  He thought that he was funny, but what was really entertaining was the fact that he believed it in spite of all of the evidence to the contrary.  His real contribution was that he was one of a long line of characters who make following baseball interesting.  At one time baseball was a platform for the kind of extra-curricular activites that made following it more interesting than statistics and won/loss records.  Without some personalities on a team, whether or not they are schmucks, baseball might be as much fun or as interesting as having a bowl of Cream of Wheat for dinner.  So give me the Dempsters, Lincecums and the Pierzynskis and I will give you a reason to go to the ballpark or open the sports pages.

What are you admitting to?

[R-V]

My meatball contribution...
Dempster has some talent.  He never was a star.  He thought that he was funny, but what was really entertaining was the fact that he believed it in spite of all of the evidence to the contrary.  His real contribution was that he was one of a long line of characters who make following baseball interesting.  At one time baseball was a platform for the kind of extra-curricular activites that made following it more interesting than statistics and won/loss records.  Without some personalities on a team, whether or not they are schmucks, baseball might be as much fun or as interesting as having a bowl of Cream of Wheat for dinner.  So give me the Dempsters, Lincecums and the Pierzynskis and I will give you a reason to go to the ballpark or open the sports pages.

What are you admitting to?

He's admitting to confusion over the trolldempster hashtag.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

For the record, I think most of the people here on Team Dempster generally threw their weight behind him because he's a good pitcher. Not because we loved his impressions.

STRAWMAN ALERT!

I never disputed that he was a quality pitcher, just that this asshattery far outweighed it.  I mean he wasn't that good.

Oh, for the love of Christ...

In the shoutbox, Huey asks "when have I ever pretended that Dempster is a technically BAD pitcher?"

... this unicycle pedalling paragon to Northside asshattery has managed to pitch the Cubs out of the playoffs in two seperate seasons because he's had a whopping three  really good regular seasons.

Yay? 

*rolls eyes*

Fuck him.

... for chrissakes throw the goddamn ball over the plate when we really need you to.  Pretty fucking please?  And if he won't, can he at least just leave town and relieve us of our suffering (Except for Eli, Slaky, Yeti and Tonker, who are totally gay for Dempster)?

Really, my point is that Opening Day--though as meaningless as the other 161 games in a 95 loss season-- is still considered a "Big Game" and that motherfucker did the exact same thing he did against the Dodgers four years earlier.  Jesus--where' the hate?!?!

What really matters is that it doesn't matter that Dempster is an above-average pitcher. Huey's willing to stipulate as much.

He's still a pants-shitting shitty pitcher those times he pitches shitty, though.

Awesome.  So I guess it's my turn to quote from somewhere else where I, too, get the last line.

I honestly don't see where that's proof where I felt otherwise.  Good pitchers can pitch shittily in big games.  This is what we have here, and I'm vexed by it.  Sue me.

The real question is, was Thrill able to land safely on his fainting couch after being propelled into one of his patented hysterical fits of righteous indignation?

We get it. You don't think getting all meatbally about Dempster's shitty pitching counts as 'disputing that he was a quality pitcher'.

The unicycle's the thing, I guess.

The unicycle and Victor Fucking Diaz.

[Eli]

Theo speaks. Which should only stoke the fires of Huey's Dempster rage, even though Theo is trying to be polite.

Epstein said he had spoken with Dempster about Atlanta. Dempster said he was “open” to going there, and it “had a lot of appeal to him,” even though he told Epstein the Dodgers were “a clear No. 1” on his list.

Epstein said 2-3 days before the trade was reported on the Braves’ website, he told him Dempster to “start processing it,” because the L.A. deal was probably not going to happen. On July 22, Epstein told Dempster the team had to make a decision quickly or lose the chance to get Delgado.

The next morning, Epstein called Dempster again.

 “We consummated a deal with Atlanta quietly, and told Ryan ‘We have a deal, so you don’t have to decide right away, but keep thinking about it,’” he said. “That was a good conversation, and then the story leaked. And with the nature of technology and social media these days, these things obviously spread quickly, and like wildfire.”

The trade had already been analyzed extensively on baseball websites and Twitter by the time Dempster denied the trade on his own Twitter account. He later told the media he awoke from a nap to hear the news, and was clearly infuriated.

And yet, Dempster was somehow blindsided.

[CBStew]

My meatball contribution...
Dempster has some talent.  He never was a star.  He thought that he was funny, but what was really entertaining was the fact that he believed it in spite of all of the evidence to the contrary.  His real contribution was that he was one of a long line of characters who make following baseball interesting.  At one time baseball was a platform for the kind of extra-curricular activites that made following it more interesting than statistics and won/loss records.  Without some personalities on a team, whether or not they are schmucks, baseball might be as much fun or as interesting as having a bowl of Cream of Wheat for dinner.  So give me the Dempsters, Lincecums and the Pierzynskis and I will give you a reason to go to the ballpark or open the sports pages.

What are you admitting to?

He's admitting to confusion over the trolldempster hashtag.

I am admitting that I don't know what a trollmasterdempster hashtag is, and that when he is finally gone I will even miss Pierzynski.  But by then we will have a relief pitcher who skips over the foul lines on his way to the dugout and brushes his teeth once he gets there.

[PANK!]

For the record, I think most of the people here on Team Dempster generally threw their weight behind him because he's a good pitcher. Not because we loved his impressions.

STRAWMAN ALERT!

I never disputed that he was a quality pitcher, just that this asshattery far outweighed it.  I mean he wasn't that good.

Oh, for the love of Christ...

In the shoutbox, Huey asks "when have I ever pretended that Dempster is a technically BAD pitcher?"

... this unicycle pedalling paragon to Northside asshattery has managed to pitch the Cubs out of the playoffs in two seperate seasons because he's had a whopping three  really good regular seasons.

Yay? 

*rolls eyes*

Fuck him.

... for chrissakes throw the goddamn ball over the plate when we really need you to.  Pretty fucking please?  And if he won't, can he at least just leave town and relieve us of our suffering (Except for Eli, Slaky, Yeti and Tonker, who are totally gay for Dempster)?

Really, my point is that Opening Day--though as meaningless as the other 161 games in a 95 loss season-- is still considered a "Big Game" and that motherfucker did the exact same thing he did against the Dodgers four years earlier.  Jesus--where' the hate?!?!

What really matters is that it doesn't matter that Dempster is an above-average pitcher. Huey's willing to stipulate as much.

He's still a pants-shitting shitty pitcher those times he pitches shitty, though.

Awesome.  So I guess it's my turn to quote from somewhere else where I, too, get the last line.

I honestly don't see where that's proof where I felt otherwise.  Good pitchers can pitch shittily in big games.  This is what we have here, and I'm vexed by it.  Sue me.

The real question is, was Thrill able to land safely on his fainting couch after being propelled into one of his patented hysterical fits of righteous indignation?

We get it. You don't think getting all meatbally about Dempster's shitty pitching counts as 'disputing that he was a quality pitcher'.

The unicycle's the thing, I guess.

The unicycle and Victor Fucking DiazEric Valente and JR Phillips.

Banjo hitters issued free passes to first base while behind 3 runs'd.

(Clemente High product Victor Diaz is on Hawkins)

(Also, why so butthurt?)

[Wheezer]

Without some personalities on a team, whether or not they are schmucks, baseball might be as much fun or as interesting as having a bowl of Cream of Wheat for dinner.

You don't like uppma?

[CBStew]

Without some personalities on a team, whether or not they are schmucks, baseball might be as much fun or as interesting as having a bowl of Cream of Wheat for dinner.

You don't like uppma?

I know that if I ask "What's uppma?"  I will get the answer "Nothing much.  What up with you Dad?"

[Shooter]

I thoroughly enjoyed watching #trolldempster give up eight earned runs in 4.2 innings for the Rangers tonight.

[PANK!]

I'm enjoying the fact that Thrill's pedant-dar is going all *BLAMMO* with my whole nebulous Ryan Dempster stick-poking.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

I'm enjoying the fact that Thrill's pedant-dar is going all *BLAMMO* with my whole nebulous Ryan Dempster stick-poking my rationalizations for hating Dempster are admittedly nonsensical and meatballish.

Ryan Dempster is the skinny Barry Bonds of paragons of Northside asshattery'd

[PANK!]

I'm enjoying the fact that Thrill's pedant-dar is going all *BLAMMO* with my whole nebulous Ryan Dempster stick-poking my rationalizations for hating Dempster are admittedly nonsensical and meatballish.

Ryan Dempster is the skinny Barry Bonds of paragons of Northside asshattery'd

*rubs hands in front of the warm glowing, warming glow of Thrill's PEDANTRAGE*

[Internet Apex]

I'm enjoying the fact that Thrill's pedant-dar is going all *BLAMMO* with my whole nebulous Ryan Dempster stick-poking my rationalizations for hating Dempster are admittedly nonsensical and meatballish.

Ryan Dempster is the skinny Barry Bonds of paragons of Northside asshattery'd

*rubs hands in front of the warm glowing, warming glow of Thrill's PEDANTRAGE*

Who gives a fuck? He's gone. And we had SPORTZ to pay the fuck attention to and laugh at for a few weeks. Even got a nice dose from Dolan. I miss 2005.

[Fork]

...finding out a divorce/paternity lawyer I know represents Urlacher, Briggs and Hester might have resulted in too many Forkjokes, even for me.

I made up for it by telling her Patrick Sharp is probably a future client.