Fuck its silent in here.......

[J. Walter Weatherman]

The more complete story of the computer worm that attacked Iran's uranium facilities...

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/16/world/middleeast/16stuxnet.html

Spoiler: The U.S. and Israel did it.

Via Wheezer:

http://blogs.forbes.com/jeffreycarr/2011/01/17/the-new-york-times-fails-to-deliver-stuxnets-creators/

https://threatpost.com/en_us/blogs/stuxnet-authors-made-several-basic-errors-011811

Rather than being proud of its stealth and targeting, the authors should be embarrassed at their amateur approach to hiding the payload. I really hope it wasn’t written by the USA because I’d like to think our elite cyberweapon developers at least know what Bulgarian teenagers did back in the early 90′s.

And, as everyone knows, the government is incapable of writing shitty code.

To wit...

http://krebsonsecurity.com/2011/01/ready-for-cyberwar/

(TPD)

Bump.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/01/world/middleeast/obama-ordered-wave-of-cyberattacks-against-iran.html

[CT III]

WASHINGTON — From his first months in office, President Obama secretly ordered increasingly sophisticated attacks on the computer systems that run Iran’s main nuclear enrichment facilities, significantly expanding America’s first sustained use of cyberweapons, according to participants in the program.

Mr. Obama decided to accelerate the attacks — begun in the Bush administration and code-named Olympic Games — even after an element of the program accidentally became public in the summer of 2010 because of a programming error that allowed it to escape Iran’s Natanz plant and sent it around the world on the Internet. Computer security experts who began studying the worm, which had been developed by the United States and Israel, gave it a name: Stuxnet.

...

The impetus for Olympic Games dates from 2006, when President George W. Bush saw few good options in dealing with Iran. At the time, America’s European allies were divided about the cost that imposing sanctions on Iran would have on their own economies. Having falsely accused Saddam Hussein of reconstituting his nuclear program in Iraq, Mr. Bush had little credibility in publicly discussing another nation’s nuclear ambitions. The Iranians seemed to sense his vulnerability, and, frustrated by negotiations, they resumed enriching uranium at an underground site at Natanz, one whose existence had been exposed just three years before.

...

Hawks in the Bush administration like Vice President Dick Cheney urged Mr. Bush to consider a military strike against the Iranian nuclear facilities before they could produce fuel suitable for a weapon. Several times, the administration reviewed military options and concluded that they would only further inflame a region already at war, and would have uncertain results.

...

The unusually tight collaboration with Israel was driven by two imperatives. Israel’s Unit 8200, a part of its military, had technical expertise that rivaled the N.S.A.’s, and the Israelis had deep intelligence about operations at Natanz that would be vital to making the cyberattack a success. But American officials had another interest, to dissuade the Israelis from carrying out their own pre-emptive strike against the Iranian nuclear facilities. To do that, the Israelis would have to be convinced that the new line of attack was working. The only way to convince them, several officials said in interviews, was to have them deeply involved in every aspect of the program.

Soon the two countries had developed a complex worm that the Americans called “the bug.” But the bug needed to be tested. So, under enormous secrecy, the United States began building replicas of Iran’s P-1 centrifuges, an aging, unreliable design that Iran purchased from Abdul Qadeer Khan, the Pakistani nuclear chief who had begun selling fuel-making technology on the black market. Fortunately for the United States, it already owned some P-1s, thanks to the Libyan dictator, Col. Muammar el-Qaddafi.

Qaddafi reportedly traded us his P-1s for a pallet of Billy Beer.

And got the better end of the deal.  We elected the wrong Carter.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

WASHINGTON — From his first months in office, President Obama secretly ordered increasingly sophisticated attacks on the computer systems that run Iran’s main nuclear enrichment facilities, significantly expanding America’s first sustained use of cyberweapons, according to participants in the program.

Mr. Obama decided to accelerate the attacks — begun in the Bush administration and code-named Olympic Games — even after an element of the program accidentally became public in the summer of 2010 because of a programming error that allowed it to escape Iran’s Natanz plant and sent it around the world on the Internet. Computer security experts who began studying the worm, which had been developed by the United States and Israel, gave it a name: Stuxnet.

...

The impetus for Olympic Games dates from 2006, when President George W. Bush saw few good options in dealing with Iran. At the time, America’s European allies were divided about the cost that imposing sanctions on Iran would have on their own economies. Having falsely accused Saddam Hussein of reconstituting his nuclear program in Iraq, Mr. Bush had little credibility in publicly discussing another nation’s nuclear ambitions. The Iranians seemed to sense his vulnerability, and, frustrated by negotiations, they resumed enriching uranium at an underground site at Natanz, one whose existence had been exposed just three years before.

...

Hawks in the Bush administration like Vice President Dick Cheney urged Mr. Bush to consider a military strike against the Iranian nuclear facilities before they could produce fuel suitable for a weapon. Several times, the administration reviewed military options and concluded that they would only further inflame a region already at war, and would have uncertain results.

...

The unusually tight collaboration with Israel was driven by two imperatives. Israel’s Unit 8200, a part of its military, had technical expertise that rivaled the N.S.A.’s, and the Israelis had deep intelligence about operations at Natanz that would be vital to making the cyberattack a success. But American officials had another interest, to dissuade the Israelis from carrying out their own pre-emptive strike against the Iranian nuclear facilities. To do that, the Israelis would have to be convinced that the new line of attack was working. The only way to convince them, several officials said in interviews, was to have them deeply involved in every aspect of the program.

Soon the two countries had developed a complex worm that the Americans called “the bug.” But the bug needed to be tested. So, under enormous secrecy, the United States began building replicas of Iran’s P-1 centrifuges, an aging, unreliable design that Iran purchased from Abdul Qadeer Khan, the Pakistani nuclear chief who had begun selling fuel-making technology on the black market. Fortunately for the United States, it already owned some P-1s, thanks to the Libyan dictator, Col. Muammar el-Qaddafi.

Qaddafi reportedly traded us his P-1s for a pallet of Billy Beer.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

“Previous cyberattacks had effects limited to other computers,” Michael V. Hayden, the former chief of the C.I.A., said, declining to describe what he knew of these attacks when he was in office. “This is the first attack of a major nature in which a cyberattack was used to effect physical destruction,” rather than just slow another computer, or hack into it to steal data.

“Somebody crossed the Rubicon,” he said.

Rubicon. Now there was a decent show.

The first attacks were small, and when the centrifuges began spinning out of control in 2008, the Iranians were mystified about the cause, according to intercepts that the United States later picked up. “The thinking was that the Iranians would blame bad parts, or bad engineering, or just incompetence,” one of the architects of the early attack said.

The Iranians were confused partly because no two attacks were exactly alike. Moreover, the code would lurk inside the plant for weeks, recording normal operations; when it attacked, it sent signals to the Natanz control room indicating that everything downstairs was operating normally. “This may have been the most brilliant part of the code,” one American official said.

They got the idea from watching Speed.

But by the time Mr. Bush left office, no wholesale destruction had been accomplished. Meeting with Mr. Obama in the White House days before his inauguration, Mr. Bush urged him to preserve two classified programs, Olympic Games and the drone program in Pakistan. Mr. Obama took Mr. Bush’s advice.

And how!

But the good luck did not last. In the summer of 2010, shortly after a new variant of the worm had been sent into Natanz, it became clear that the worm, which was never supposed to leave the Natanz machines, had broken free, like a zoo animal that found the keys to the cage...

“We think there was a modification done by the Israelis,” one of the briefers told the president, “and we don’t know if we were part of that activity.”

Mr. Obama, according to officials in the room, asked a series of questions, fearful that the code could do damage outside the plant. The answers came back in hedged terms. Mr. Biden fumed. “It’s got to be the Israelis,” he said. “They went too far.”

Intrepid Reader: Joe Biden

THIS TIME THE JOOZ HAVE GONE TOO FAR!

[J. Walter Weatherman]

CT's a time traveler.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

I can't wait for this next election. It's going to be so incredibly awesome.

Bump.

[Slaky]

I can't wait for this next election. It's going to be so incredibly awesome.

Bump.

My how times have changed.

[Wheezer]

Yes, the Hon. C. J. Vaughey is deranged.

I even can tell you, when I grew up in my community, you wanted to date an Italian girl, you had to get the Italian boy’s permission. But that was the old neighborhoods back in the city. And it was really fair.

(It actually took me a long time to remember who Kimberlin is; finally, I remembered that I have a mix tape labeled with the National Enquirer hed when the selling-dope-to-Dan-Quayle bit was in the news.)

[J. Walter Weatherman]

Yes, the Hon. C. J. Vaughey is deranged.

I even can tell you, when I grew up in my community, you wanted to date an Italian girl, you had to get the Italian boy’s permission. But that was the old neighborhoods back in the city. And it was really fair.

(It actually took me a long time to remember who Kimberlin is; finally, I remembered that I have a mix tape labeled with the National Enquirer hed when the selling-dope-to-Dan-Quayle bit was in the news.)

THE COURT: Forget Bradenburg [sic]. Let’s go by Vaughey right now...

Brandenbug, as I mentioned in my earlier post, is the United States Supreme Court case that articulates the relevant standard: speech may only be banned on the theory that it is incitement when it is intended to create, and likely to create, a clear and present danger of imminent lawless action. But Honey Vaughey don't give a shit. In his courtroom, he is the law, and he's suspicious of all this new-fangled stuff, and he'll impose any damn standard he wants.

I'm imagining Judge Dredd enforcing Ginzo Law on Rocky Balboa for attempting to court Adrian.

[CBStew]

Yes, the Hon. C. J. Vaughey is deranged.

I even can tell you, when I grew up in my community, you wanted to date an Italian girl, you had to get the Italian boy’s permission. But that was the old neighborhoods back in the city. And it was really fair.

(It actually took me a long time to remember who Kimberlin is; finally, I remembered that I have a mix tape labeled with the National Enquirer hed when the selling-dope-to-Dan-Quayle bit was in the news.)

THE COURT: Forget Bradenburg [sic]. Let’s go by Vaughey right now...

Brandenbug, as I mentioned in my earlier post, is the United States Supreme Court case that articulates the relevant standard: speech may only be banned on the theory that it is incitement when it is intended to create, and likely to create, a clear and present danger of imminent lawless action. But Honey Vaughey don't give a shit. In his courtroom, he is the law, and he's suspicious of all this new-fangled stuff, and he'll impose any damn standard he wants.

I'm imagining Judge Dredd enforcing Ginzo Law on Rocky Balboa for attempting to court Adrian.

The following is true.  No names have been changed to protect the innocent.  This happened back in the 1960's and I already had about eight years of law practice under my belt.  A SEIU client of mine represented parimutuel clerks and planned to strike and picket the annual Sonoma County Fair for higher wages.  The County Fair Committee went to court in Santa Rosa (which was then a very rural, conservative community about 50 miles up the coast from San Francisco) for an injunction to prevent the picketing and run the race track betting with scabs.  There was no legal basis for an injunction but the judge gave them a temporary restraining order anyway, and set the hearing for a preliminary injunction for the second day of the County Fair.  I went to court to get an order shortening time so we could argue the case before the Fair started.  At the hearing, however, with no motion having been made by the other side, the judge confessed that he had made an error, and extended the TRO out beyond the end of the Fair.  We couldn't get the Appelate Court to intervene, and the union didn't want to risk having members go to jail for violating the TRO, so the strike and picketing never happened.  Nonetheless, the judge made me come back to the hearing on the preliminary the week following the Fair, and even though the Fair was over, no picketing had occurred and there was nothing to enjoin, the judge issued an injunction retroactively prohibiting the union from picketing the previous week.  The judge asked me from the bench if I had any questions.  I said "Yes, your honor, just one.  May I leave now while I still have my citizenship?"  The judge's mouth dropped.  I am stupid, but I wasn't crazy, and I immediately left before he could hold me in contempt.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

http://occupyseattle.org/blog/2012-06-07/shells-epic-private-party-fail

Last night Logan Price, a Seattle Occupier who's now living in New York, managed to infiltrate a private party thrown by Shell Oil at the Space Needle to celebrate the launch of its Arctic drilling program. He caught this amazing video.

...

“It all started with a malfunction.... of the event's centerpiece, a scale model of the Kulluk, one of the rigs heading up north, which was sitting in a basin of liquor (rum and coke?) next to an ice sculpture in the shape of an iceberg.

I guess the photo-op was meant to be a symbolic tapping of the Arctic. There was a ridiculous three-foot-high scale model of their Arctic drilling rig, the Kulluk, and the mini-rig had a tap to pump liquor for the guests.

“The guest of honor was an elderly Japanese man introduced as the original Chief Engineer of the Kulluk rig who used to work at Mitsui back in the '80s. But when the man went to turn on the ‘rig,’ the liquor went everywhere - and the first to be hit was another elderly guest, the widow of the man who'd actually designed the Kulluk back in the 1980s.

“The guy in charge kept asking the old engineer to fix it but he obviously had no idea how to turn it off. Shell's PR people got REALLY worked up, and the designer’s widow started yelling. At this point the guy who was presenting the new ad campaign told me to turn off my camera and got pretty aggressive.”

Heck of a job, PenFoe.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

http://occupyseattle.org/blog/2012-06-07/shells-epic-private-party-fail

Last night Logan Price, a Seattle Occupier who's now living in New York, managed to infiltrate a private party thrown by Shell Oil at the Space Needle to celebrate the launch of its Arctic drilling program. He caught this amazing video.

...

“It all started with a malfunction.... of the event's centerpiece, a scale model of the Kulluk, one of the rigs heading up north, which was sitting in a basin of liquor (rum and coke?) next to an ice sculpture in the shape of an iceberg.

I guess the photo-op was meant to be a symbolic tapping of the Arctic. There was a ridiculous three-foot-high scale model of their Arctic drilling rig, the Kulluk, and the mini-rig had a tap to pump liquor for the guests.

“The guest of honor was an elderly Japanese man introduced as the original Chief Engineer of the Kulluk rig who used to work at Mitsui back in the '80s. But when the man went to turn on the ‘rig,’ the liquor went everywhere - and the first to be hit was another elderly guest, the widow of the man who'd actually designed the Kulluk back in the 1980s.

“The guy in charge kept asking the old engineer to fix it but he obviously had no idea how to turn it off. Shell's PR people got REALLY worked up, and the designer’s widow started yelling. At this point the guy who was presenting the new ad campaign told me to turn off my camera and got pretty aggressive.”

Heck of a job, PenFoe.

http://gawker.com/5916661/hilarious-video-of-shell-oil-party-disaster-is-fake-unfortunately

Unfortunately, the whole thing is an elaborate fake. The event was ostensibly organized by the communications firm Wainwright & Shore, according to the "New Frontiers" page on Eventbrite. There's a fancy invitation, which looks legit. But a note at the bottom thanks the Joint Pacific Energy Leadership Council, which, according to Google, does not exist outside of this event.

The main proof that this is a hoax comes from the website of Wainwright & Shore, "a full service, integrated marketing public relations and interactive firm" supposedly based in Houston, Texas. Wainwright & Shore boasts "The company donates more than 300 hours of pro bono services to non-profit clients each year."

But according to the whois records, the domain was registered just last month. And the clincher: The domain name server is Mayfirst.org, a lefty-radical hosting company which was also used by notorious pranksters the Yes Men to host a fake Bank of America website back in April.

The video is fake. We're guessing the whole thing is an anti-Shell Yes Men stunt. (Logan Price, the guy who shot the video, was once quoted in a Yes Men press release.) Good one, guys.

...

Update III: AdAge reports that someone is now sending out fake press releases on Shell's behalf claiming Shell is going to sue the activists responsible for this fake video. Shell denies sending them. Fakes upon fakes!

[PANK!]

http://occupyseattle.org/blog/2012-06-07/shells-epic-private-party-fail

Last night Logan Price, a Seattle Occupier who's now living in New York, managed to infiltrate a private party thrown by Shell Oil at the Space Needle to celebrate the launch of its Arctic drilling program. He caught this amazing video.

...

“It all started with a malfunction.... of the event's centerpiece, a scale model of the Kulluk, one of the rigs heading up north, which was sitting in a basin of liquor (rum and coke?) next to an ice sculpture in the shape of an iceberg.

I guess the photo-op was meant to be a symbolic tapping of the Arctic. There was a ridiculous three-foot-high scale model of their Arctic drilling rig, the Kulluk, and the mini-rig had a tap to pump liquor for the guests.

“The guest of honor was an elderly Japanese man introduced as the original Chief Engineer of the Kulluk rig who used to work at Mitsui back in the '80s. But when the man went to turn on the ‘rig,’ the liquor went everywhere - and the first to be hit was another elderly guest, the widow of the man who'd actually designed the Kulluk back in the 1980s.

“The guy in charge kept asking the old engineer to fix it but he obviously had no idea how to turn it off. Shell's PR people got REALLY worked up, and the designer’s widow started yelling. At this point the guy who was presenting the new ad campaign told me to turn off my camera and got pretty aggressive.”

Heck of a job, PenFoe.

http://gawker.com/5916661/hilarious-video-of-shell-oil-party-disaster-is-fake-unfortunately

Unfortunately, the whole thing is an elaborate fake. The event was ostensibly organized by the communications firm Wainwright & Shore, according to the "New Frontiers" page on Eventbrite. There's a fancy invitation, which looks legit. But a note at the bottom thanks the Joint Pacific Energy Leadership Council, which, according to Google, does not exist outside of this event.

The main proof that this is a hoax comes from the website of Wainwright & Shore, "a full service, integrated marketing public relations and interactive firm" supposedly based in Houston, Texas. Wainwright & Shore boasts "The company donates more than 300 hours of pro bono services to non-profit clients each year."

But according to the whois records, the domain was registered just last month. And the clincher: The domain name server is Mayfirst.org, a lefty-radical hosting company which was also used by notorious pranksters the Yes Men to host a fake Bank of America website back in April.

The video is fake. We're guessing the whole thing is an anti-Shell Yes Men stunt. (Logan Price, the guy who shot the video, was once quoted in a Yes Men press release.) Good one, guys.

...

Update III: AdAge reports that someone is now sending out fake press releases on Shell's behalf claiming Shell is going to sue the activists responsible for this fake video. Shell denies sending them. Fakes upon fakes!

Nice choice, Thrill.

[Slaky]

#WeedlordBonerhitler

ObamaCare is almost over, guys!

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3489187

[BH]

#WeedlordBonerhitler

ObamaCare is almost over, guys!

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3489187

I love the font. Really easy to read.