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How do you wipe?

Standing—Hollywood style
Sitting—the humble, old-fashioned American way
Squating/hovering/can't make up my mind
Bidet
Can't reach back there, use the towelrack like a bootscraper
I only shit in the shower
A team of orphans swabs my dainty hole with perfumed chamois leather while I sun on the terrace
I don't

Author Topic: How you crappin'?  ( 65,063 )

Chuck to Chuck

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Re: How you crappin'?
« Reply #165 on: February 19, 2010, 11:43:28 AM »
Quote from: Waco Kid on February 19, 2010, 11:14:26 AM
A friend of ours college used to do what he called power shitting, basically shitting in the least amount of time possible. He would head to the bathroom, crap, wipe, and return somewhere in between 30-40 seconds.


PenFoe

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Re: How you crappin'?
« Reply #166 on: February 19, 2010, 11:45:54 AM »
Quote from: Slack-E on February 19, 2010, 11:36:37 AM
Quote from: Jon on February 19, 2010, 11:21:27 AM
Quote from: PenFoe on February 19, 2010, 11:18:11 AM
Quote from: Waco Kid on February 19, 2010, 11:14:26 AM
A friend of ours college used to do what he called power shitting, basically shitting in the least amount of time possible. He would head to the bathroom, crap, wipe, and return somewhere in between 30-40 seconds.

I don't get this at all.
I'm a "print out a decent length article" kind of guy.

A few moments of peace, if you ask me.

Yeah. It seems like a waste of a perfectly good excuse for a break.

I can understand powershitting in college. You want to get back to general goodtimery with your friends. Powershitting at work is inexcusable.

Whatever, you just take your one-hitter into the can with you and resume pulling tubes once you're done.
I can't believe I even know these people. I'm ashamed of my internet life.

Slaky

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Re: How you crappin'?
« Reply #167 on: February 19, 2010, 11:46:54 AM »
Quote from: PenFoe on February 19, 2010, 11:45:54 AM
Quote from: Slack-E on February 19, 2010, 11:36:37 AM
Quote from: Jon on February 19, 2010, 11:21:27 AM
Quote from: PenFoe on February 19, 2010, 11:18:11 AM
Quote from: Waco Kid on February 19, 2010, 11:14:26 AM
A friend of ours college used to do what he called power shitting, basically shitting in the least amount of time possible. He would head to the bathroom, crap, wipe, and return somewhere in between 30-40 seconds.

I don't get this at all.
I'm a "print out a decent length article" kind of guy.

A few moments of peace, if you ask me.

Yeah. It seems like a waste of a perfectly good excuse for a break.

I can understand powershitting in college. You want to get back to general goodtimery with your friends. Powershitting at work is inexcusable.

Whatever, you just take your one-hitter into the can with you and resume pulling tubes once you're done.

I need a time machine, pronto.

PenFoe

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Re: How you crappin'?
« Reply #168 on: February 19, 2010, 11:48:16 AM »
Quote from: Slack-E on February 19, 2010, 11:46:54 AM
Quote from: PenFoe on February 19, 2010, 11:45:54 AM
Quote from: Slack-E on February 19, 2010, 11:36:37 AM
Quote from: Jon on February 19, 2010, 11:21:27 AM
Quote from: PenFoe on February 19, 2010, 11:18:11 AM
Quote from: Waco Kid on February 19, 2010, 11:14:26 AM
A friend of ours college used to do what he called power shitting, basically shitting in the least amount of time possible. He would head to the bathroom, crap, wipe, and return somewhere in between 30-40 seconds.

I don't get this at all.
I'm a "print out a decent length article" kind of guy.

A few moments of peace, if you ask me.

Yeah. It seems like a waste of a perfectly good excuse for a break.

I can understand powershitting in college. You want to get back to general goodtimery with your friends. Powershitting at work is inexcusable.

Whatever, you just take your one-hitter into the can with you and resume pulling tubes once you're done.

I need a time machine, pronto.

Looks around office, looks at to-do list.
/sheds tear.
I can't believe I even know these people. I'm ashamed of my internet life.

Oleg

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Re: How you crappin'?
« Reply #169 on: February 19, 2010, 12:11:23 PM »
Quote from: PenFoe on February 19, 2010, 11:45:54 AM
Quote from: Slack-E on February 19, 2010, 11:36:37 AM
Quote from: Jon on February 19, 2010, 11:21:27 AM
Quote from: PenFoe on February 19, 2010, 11:18:11 AM
Quote from: Waco Kid on February 19, 2010, 11:14:26 AM
A friend of ours college used to do what he called power shitting, basically shitting in the least amount of time possible. He would head to the bathroom, crap, wipe, and return somewhere in between 30-40 seconds.

I don't get this at all.
I'm a "print out a decent length article" kind of guy.

A few moments of peace, if you ask me.

Yeah. It seems like a waste of a perfectly good excuse for a break.

I can understand powershitting in college. You want to get back to general goodtimery with your friends. Powershitting at work is inexcusable.

Whatever, you just take your one-hitter into the can with you and resume pulling tubes once you're done.

I do that now, when I get home from work and I have to drop a deuce.  Why waste precious seconds being sober?

Kermit IV

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Re: How you crappin'?
« Reply #170 on: February 19, 2010, 01:29:23 PM »
Quote from: Waco Kid on February 19, 2010, 11:14:26 AM
A friend of ours college used to do what he called power shitting, basically shitting in the least amount of time possible. He would head to the bathroom, crap, wipe, and return somewhere in between 30-40 seconds.

A buddy of mine in high school used to do the same thing.  He could shit faster than most of us could piss.

R-V

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Re: How you crappin'?
« Reply #171 on: March 03, 2010, 01:07:29 PM »
Quote from: MAD on February 18, 2010, 05:15:49 PMAt some juncture, we found ourselves on some distant hole--quite possibly the furthest point from the clubhouse, when I felt my stomach gurgle and a poopstrom coming on.

1. How did I miss this thread? Pure awesome.
2. Is that a Steve Stenstrom reference?
3. In the interest of keeping this thread alive, anybody ever shat in the ocean? It's like a water birth, except with more dingleberries.

Jon

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Re: How you crappin'?
« Reply #172 on: March 03, 2010, 01:20:38 PM »
Quote from: R-V on March 03, 2010, 01:07:29 PM
Quote from: MAD on February 18, 2010, 05:15:49 PMAt some juncture, we found ourselves on some distant hole--quite possibly the furthest point from the clubhouse, when I felt my stomach gurgle and a poopstrom coming on.

1. How did I miss this thread? Pure awesome.
2. Is that a Steve Stenstrom reference?
3. In the interest of keeping this thread alive, anybody ever shat in the ocean? It's like a water birth, except with more dingleberries.

3. Yes. Yes I have. But I was like 3.
Take that, Adolf Eyechart.

"I'm just saying, penis aside, that broad had a tight fuckable body in that movie. Sans penis of course.." - A peek into *IAN's psyche

Yeti

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Re: How you crappin'?
« Reply #173 on: March 03, 2010, 01:21:34 PM »
Quote from: R-V on March 03, 2010, 01:07:29 PM
Quote from: MAD on February 18, 2010, 05:15:49 PMAt some juncture, we found ourselves on some distant hole--quite possibly the furthest point from the clubhouse, when I felt my stomach gurgle and a poopstrom coming on.

1. How did I miss this thread? Pure awesome.
2. Is that a Steve Stenstrom reference?
3. In the interest of keeping this thread alive, anybody ever shat in the ocean? It's like a water birth, except with more dingleberries.

On my honeymoon, while the wife and I are in the water, I will be sure to do this. And if the ocean down in the Caribbean is as clear as I hear, then it will make it all the more romantic

Dr. Nguyen Van Falk

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Re: How you crappin'?
« Reply #174 on: March 03, 2010, 01:27:30 PM »
Quote from: R-V on March 03, 2010, 01:07:29 PM
In the interest of keeping this thread alive, anybody ever shat in the ocean? It's like a water birth, except with more dingleberries.

Brocation cred climbing...
WHAT THESE FANCY DANS IN CHICAGO THINK THEY DO?

R-V

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Re: How you crappin'?
« Reply #175 on: March 03, 2010, 01:45:35 PM »
Quote from: Dr. Nguyen Van Falk on March 03, 2010, 01:27:30 PM
Quote from: R-V on March 03, 2010, 01:07:29 PM
In the interest of keeping this thread alive, anybody ever shat in the ocean? It's like a water birth, except with more dingleberries.

Brocation cred climbing...

Bros gotta do what other bros dare them to do, chief.

Actually, it was a poop emergency and the boat's shitter was on the fritz. I do not recommend the ocean grumpler.

Wheezer

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Re: How you crappin'?
« Reply #176 on: March 03, 2010, 01:48:42 PM »
Quote from: R-V on March 03, 2010, 01:45:35 PM
Quote from: Dr. Nguyen Van Falk on March 03, 2010, 01:27:30 PM
Quote from: R-V on March 03, 2010, 01:07:29 PM
In the interest of keeping this thread alive, anybody ever shat in the ocean? It's like a water birth, except with more dingleberries.

Brocation cred climbing...

Bros gotta do what other bros dare them to do, chief.

Actually, it was a poop emergency and the boat's shitter was on the fritz. I do not recommend the ocean grumpler.

Were you floating on your back? Was it an effective method of propulsion?
"The brain growth deficit controls reality hence [G-d] rules the world.... These mathematical results by the way, are all experimentally confirmed to 2-decimal point accuracy by modern Psychometry data."--George Hammond, Gμν!!

R-V

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Re: How you crappin'?
« Reply #177 on: March 03, 2010, 01:54:35 PM »
Quote from: Wheezer on March 03, 2010, 01:48:42 PM
Quote from: R-V on March 03, 2010, 01:45:35 PM
Quote from: Dr. Nguyen Van Falk on March 03, 2010, 01:27:30 PM
Quote from: R-V on March 03, 2010, 01:07:29 PM
In the interest of keeping this thread alive, anybody ever shat in the ocean? It's like a water birth, except with more dingleberries.

Brocation cred climbing...

Bros gotta do what other bros dare them to do, chief.

Actually, it was a poop emergency and the boat's shitter was on the fritz. I do not recommend the ocean grumpler.

Were you floating on your back? Was it an effective method of propulsion?

It was kind of a treading water situation, followed by paddling away quickly when the foaces escaped. I probably should have just shit my trunks like a Slovak. Would have been less awkward.

Chuck to Chuck

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Re: How you crappin'?
« Reply #178 on: March 03, 2010, 02:09:07 PM »
Quote from: R-V on March 03, 2010, 01:45:35 PM
Quote from: Dr. Nguyen Van Falk on March 03, 2010, 01:27:30 PM
Quote from: R-V on March 03, 2010, 01:07:29 PM
In the interest of keeping this thread alive, anybody ever shat in the ocean? It's like a water birth, except with more dingleberries.

Brocation cred climbing...

Bros gotta do what other bros dare them to do, chief.

Actually, it was a poop emergency and the boat's shitter was on the fritz. I do not recommend the ocean grumpler.

Every other animal shits in the ocean.  Why not humans?

Dr. Nguyen Van Falk

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Re: How you crappin'?
« Reply #179 on: March 03, 2010, 02:19:58 PM »
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on March 03, 2010, 02:09:07 PM
Quote from: R-V on March 03, 2010, 01:45:35 PM
Quote from: Dr. Nguyen Van Falk on March 03, 2010, 01:27:30 PM
Quote from: R-V on March 03, 2010, 01:07:29 PM
In the interest of keeping this thread alive, anybody ever shat in the ocean? It's like a water birth, except with more dingleberries.

Brocation cred climbing...

Bros gotta do what other bros dare them to do, chief.

Actually, it was a poop emergency and the boat's shitter was on the fritz. I do not recommend the ocean grumpler.

Every other animal shits in the ocean.  Why not humans?

Now Chuck's just stealing TDubbs' material.

Quote from: TDubbsHow can shitting in the ocean be gross?
WHAT THESE FANCY DANS IN CHICAGO THINK THEY DO?