Coming to America, Part the Third.

[Yeti]

I am now home and alive. Tonker talks a lot of anal sex, that's for sure.

[Wheezer]

I am now home and alive. Tonker talks a lot of anal sex, that's for sure.

Did I mention that you put your hand in my mouth twice last night?

[Yeti]

I am now home and alive. Tonker talks a lot of anal sex, that's for sure.

Did I mention that you put your hand in my mouth twice last night?

No, but I do like cuddling. I told you I wanted to be big spoon anyway

[Internet Apex]

You all are a great bunch of dudes. Even Chuck. Thanks for the memories.

[Tonker]

You all are a great bunch of dudes. Even Chuck. Thanks for the memories.

You have memories?

[Wheezer]

You all are a great bunch of dudes. Even Chuck. Thanks for the memories.

You have memories?

Like the corners of the mind.

[Internet Apex]

You all are a great bunch of dudes. Even Chuck. Thanks for the memories.

You have memories?

Flashbacks mostly.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

So... How was Tonkfest Proper on Saturday, fellas? Anyone actually make it?

I had planned on attending, of course, but couldn't figure out how to make the trip down to Wrigleyville while remaining curled up in a fetal position muttering to myself about 'making some changes in my life.'

Fuck you, Malort.

[Tonker]

So... How was Tonkfest Proper on Saturday, fellas? Anyone actually make it?

I had planned on attending, of course, but couldn't figure out how to make the trip down to Wrigleyville while remaining curled up in a fetal position muttering to myself about 'making some changes in my life.'

Fuck you, Malort.

In order of appearance :

Yetti, BC, Wheezer, Oleg, Peck, Shooter, the Hawk, Section 242, Morph, Powen.  Outstanding barbeque at the Pork Shoppe.  I kicked everybody's arse at bowling.

Great to see you Friday - that was fun, wasn't it?

[PANK!]

There was bowling?  And Shooter showed up?

Fuck you guys.

[Oleg]

So... How was Tonkfest Proper on Saturday, fellas? Anyone actually make it?

I had planned on attending, of course, but couldn't figure out how to make the trip down to Wrigleyville while remaining curled up in a fetal position muttering to myself about 'making some changes in my life.'

Fuck you, Malort.

BC, Yetti, and Wheezer were there by the time I arrived.  Tonker, also, was already and was looking much less worse for the wear than I expected.  I lied, Yetti wasn't yet there as he was parking the car, which I'm told smelled of leftover meat wrapped in bacon that had been festering in the Chicago weather overnight.  My theory is that it would be devoured by Yetti and BC before they ever made south of Kankakee, with no silverware at that.

We hung out at Sheffield's for a bit, got accosted by some old dude who introduced himself as 'Shooter'.  A fine bloke, he managed to drink more beer than any non-Irishman should ever need to.  Holy shit, Shooter is really good at it.  He's also really good a paying for cabs (I'm pretty sure I owe you at least a fin).  Sometime before Randy Wells did his best Anthony Young impersonation, we were joined by Section 242, who is much more of a Shoutbox/CT creation than a Desipiot.  He threatened to cut off my nose if I didn't take his tickets for Monday's game, so here we are, my nose still attached.  By this time we were also joined by Morph, who was also looking much more chipper than I expected him to look.  We watched the Cubs game (fuck you who's ever idea that was), then ventured to Belmont and California to indulge in some awesome BBQ at the Pork Shoppe.  We then stumbled to Cody's...well, stumbled out of the cab anyway.

While at Cody's drinking and shooting some darts in their downstairs room so as not to offend the usual Saturday afternoon drinkers, we were greeted by a guy who threatened to stab us.  Once we proved we wanted no part of his wallet nor that we had ever even stepped foot in Peru, much less conspired to mug him there, he relented, put away his stabbing knife and introduced himself as Powen.  He was then followed downstairs by his brother, who looks very little like him and some cute chick who kept trying to put her mouth all over Powen's brother's junk.  I'm assuming she was finally successful once they had both departed the public house.

Powen, Apex (who, I failed to mention above, also met us at Sheffield's and had a very interesting experience in the bathroom there), Tonker, Shooter, and I then managed to lift ourselves off the Cody's stools to catch another cab to Diversey Rock N Bowl.  We ended up meeting some 'real' friends of mine and no matter how many times I say it, "they're friends of mine from the internet' still sounds both horrifying and hilarious at the same time.

So, we bowled and Shooter took some power naps and we all headed in our separate ways, only to know we shall meet again.

edit:  Dammit.  I left out TheHawk and his hot co-workers.

[Internet Apex]

Apex (who, I failed to mention above, also met us at Sheffield's and had a very interesting experience in the bathroom there),

Rocked my hoop, I did. (||)

[SKO]

The lady had a great time,surprisingly. Said you are all a great group. Ha. Yetti did get beer all over her feet. Good to see everybody again. Glad Chad missed the whole thing.

[Yeti]

Apex (who, I failed to mention above, also met us at Sheffield's and had a very interesting experience in the bathroom there),

Rocked my hoop, I did. (||)

The shat I took in that back bathroom smelled of bacon and beef

The lady had a great time,surprisingly. Said you are all a great group. Ha. Yetti did get beer all over her feet. Good to see everybody again. Glad Chad missed the whole thing.

My bad. I was drunk though. I don't recall spilling anything then, but recollection of events may be fuzzy

[Chuck to Chuck]

The lady had a great time,surprisingly.

How could she not?  She gets introduced to someone for the first time ever and says, with a smile, "Oh, you're Chuck!  Fuck you!"  And the guy she's being introduced to laughs.

How could she not?