Clarke's

[Sterling Archer]

Am I correct in assuming that this place is basically a diner version of Leona's? This and a Whole Foods are the most recent pieces in the University's "Three Years to Mediocrity!" development campaign.

It's terrible.

The Burger King down the block is a more solid option.

He's talking Hyde Park, not Evanston you solipsistic douche.

Actually I like the Clarke's in Evanston.  You know, for breakfast and such.  However, I ate the Clarkes' at Belmont and Sheffield when it was called The Melrose back in 1999 and it was awful sauce mixed in a blender with failure and horrible-tasting breakfast sausage so there's that. 

Free WiFi!

We get it. You love Northwestern.

Not during basketball season.

[Wheezer]

Am I correct in assuming that this place is basically a diner version of Leona's? This and a Whole Foods are the most recent pieces in the University's "Three Years to Mediocrity!" development campaign.

It's terrible.

The Burger King down the block is a more solid option.

He's talking Hyde Park, not Evanston you solipsistic douche.

Actually I like the Clarke's in Evanston.  You know, for breakfast and such.   

Eggs is eggs. You can't fuck those up.

I don't even know where to start with this assertion.

[Wheezer]

Behold. Feeling a little dizzy after all that Leinenkugel Red? Our mauve tunnel illuminated by spotlights with televisions aimed to one side of your head will fix you right up. If not, the guys lurking just around the corner on your way out probably will.