Really Shitty Thread Title of 2011-2012 Cubs Offseason

[PenPho]

http://espn.go.com/blog/chicago/cubs/post/_/id/7810/reports-cubs-making-push-for-soler?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter

While multiple reports say that the Chicago Cubs’ hopes of landing Cuban defector Yoenis Cespedes are fading, other reports say that they are very much in the mix for one of his countrymen.

That outfielder is Jorge Soler, who is only 19 years old -- seven years younger than Cespedes -- and considered to be a five-tool prospect. Sources told MLB.com that the Cubs would be willing to spend $27.5 million on Soler, but the sources were not sure how many years that would be spread over. Soler, who is in the Dominican Republic, has not been declared a free agent yet.

Might take a while to actually get him, but Soler would be a great signing. He'd immediately jump ahead of Jackson and Rizzo as our the Cubs' top prospect and probably top 10 in all of baseball.

Cespedes signs with A's.

DPD.

Yay?

When the winter began, there were three major Cubans who could become free agents, and the Cubs appear to have landed two of them, although not the top-rated one.

The Cubs are expected to add 19-year-old outfielder Jorge Soler after acquiring 19-year-old pitcher Gerardo Concepcion, according to multiple reports from the Dominican Republic, where Soler is staying.

Soler, according to one report, will be making $27.5 million with the Cubs for three or four years. He may have been courted by Cubs ownership and front-office officials while they were visiting their new Dominican academy earlier this month.

Because he is younger and less experienced than Cespedes, Soler was less heralded, although that did not diminish interest from many teams just because of his five-tool potential. He is 6-foot-3 and weighs just over 200 pounds.

[Chuck to Chuck]

Massive yea.

[morpheus]

Massive yea. Nothing matters until 2014 anyway.

Internet Chuck'd.  Not to be confused with Internet ChuckD.

[Bort]

Massive yea. Nothing matters until 2014 anyway.

Internet Chuck'd.  Not to be confused with Internet ChuckD.

This one is technically consistent with Internet Chuckery. He probably won't be in the majors until 2014.

[Chuck to Chuck]

Massive yea. Nothing about the team's record matters until 2014 anyway.

Internet Chuck'd.  Not to be confused with Internet ChuckD.

Clarified.

[Fork]

What's 19 Cuban years in real-world years? 23?

[CBStew]

Massive yea. Nothing matters until 2014 anyway.

Internet Chuck'd.  Not to be confused with Internet ChuckD.

This one is technically consistent with Internet Chuckery. He probably won't be in the majors until 2014.

Provided he graduates from high school or gets a GED.

[PenPho]

http://espn.go.com/blog/chicago/cubs/post/_/id/7810/reports-cubs-making-push-for-soler?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter

While multiple reports say that the Chicago Cubs’ hopes of landing Cuban defector Yoenis Cespedes are fading, other reports say that they are very much in the mix for one of his countrymen.

That outfielder is Jorge Soler, who is only 19 years old -- seven years younger than Cespedes -- and considered to be a five-tool prospect. Sources told MLB.com that the Cubs would be willing to spend $27.5 million on Soler, but the sources were not sure how many years that would be spread over. Soler, who is in the Dominican Republic, has not been declared a free agent yet.

Might take a while to actually get him, but Soler would be a great signing. He'd immediately jump ahead of Jackson and Rizzo as our the Cubs' top prospect and probably top 10 in all of baseball.

Cespedes signs with A's.

DPD.

Yay?

When the winter began, there were three major Cubans who could become free agents, and the Cubs appear to have landed two of them, although not the top-rated one.

The Cubs are expected to add 19-year-old outfielder Jorge Soler after acquiring 19-year-old pitcher Gerardo Concepcion, according to multiple reports from the Dominican Republic, where Soler is staying.

Soler, according to one report, will be making $27.5 million with the Cubs for three or four years. He may have been courted by Cubs ownership and front-office officials while they were visiting their new Dominican academy earlier this month.

Because he is younger and less experienced than Cespedes, Soler was less heralded, although that did not diminish interest from many teams just because of his five-tool potential. He is 6-foot-3 and weighs just over 200 pounds.

Well, shit.

Sources: Yankees have serious interest on OFer Jorge Soler, among many teams. Cubs are not close to signing Soler, as has been reported.

DAMN YOU, EPSTINK!

[Gilgamesh]

http://espn.go.com/blog/chicago/cubs/post/_/id/7810/reports-cubs-making-push-for-soler?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter

While multiple reports say that the Chicago Cubs’ hopes of landing Cuban defector Yoenis Cespedes are fading, other reports say that they are very much in the mix for one of his countrymen.

That outfielder is Jorge Soler, who is only 19 years old -- seven years younger than Cespedes -- and considered to be a five-tool prospect. Sources told MLB.com that the Cubs would be willing to spend $27.5 million on Soler, but the sources were not sure how many years that would be spread over. Soler, who is in the Dominican Republic, has not been declared a free agent yet.

Might take a while to actually get him, but Soler would be a great signing. He'd immediately jump ahead of Jackson and Rizzo as our the Cubs' top prospect and probably top 10 in all of baseball.

Cespedes signs with A's.

DPD.

Yay?

When the winter began, there were three major Cubans who could become free agents, and the Cubs appear to have landed two of them, although not the top-rated one.

The Cubs are expected to add 19-year-old outfielder Jorge Soler after acquiring 19-year-old pitcher Gerardo Concepcion, according to multiple reports from the Dominican Republic, where Soler is staying.

Soler, according to one report, will be making $27.5 million with the Cubs for three or four years. He may have been courted by Cubs ownership and front-office officials while they were visiting their new Dominican academy earlier this month.

Because he is younger and less experienced than Cespedes, Soler was less heralded, although that did not diminish interest from many teams just because of his five-tool potential. He is 6-foot-3 and weighs just over 200 pounds.

Well, shit.

Sources: Yankees have serious interest on OFer Jorge Soler, among many teams. Cubs are not close to signing Soler, as has been reported.

DAMN YOU, EPSTINK!

To be fair, if there's been a recurrent theme this baseball offseason is that the people paid to write and opine on the subject have been so extraordinarily wrong.

[Tinker to Evers to Chance]

http://espn.go.com/blog/chicago/cubs/post/_/id/7810/reports-cubs-making-push-for-soler?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter

While multiple reports say that the Chicago Cubs’ hopes of landing Cuban defector Yoenis Cespedes are fading, other reports say that they are very much in the mix for one of his countrymen.

That outfielder is Jorge Soler, who is only 19 years old -- seven years younger than Cespedes -- and considered to be a five-tool prospect. Sources told MLB.com that the Cubs would be willing to spend $27.5 million on Soler, but the sources were not sure how many years that would be spread over. Soler, who is in the Dominican Republic, has not been declared a free agent yet.

Might take a while to actually get him, but Soler would be a great signing. He'd immediately jump ahead of Jackson and Rizzo as our the Cubs' top prospect and probably top 10 in all of baseball.

Cespedes signs with A's.

DPD.

Yay?

When the winter began, there were three major Cubans who could become free agents, and the Cubs appear to have landed two of them, although not the top-rated one.

The Cubs are expected to add 19-year-old outfielder Jorge Soler after acquiring 19-year-old pitcher Gerardo Concepcion, according to multiple reports from the Dominican Republic, where Soler is staying.

Soler, according to one report, will be making $27.5 million with the Cubs for three or four years. He may have been courted by Cubs ownership and front-office officials while they were visiting their new Dominican academy earlier this month.

Because he is younger and less experienced than Cespedes, Soler was less heralded, although that did not diminish interest from many teams just because of his five-tool potential. He is 6-foot-3 and weighs just over 200 pounds.

Well, shit.

Sources: Yankees have serious interest on OFer Jorge Soler, among many teams. Cubs are not close to signing Soler, as has been reported.

DAMN YOU, EPSTINK!

To be fair, if there's been a recurrent theme this baseball offseason is that the people paid to write and opine on the subject have been so extraordinarily wrong Epstink is terrible.

[BH]

Soler reportedly has "5 tools". No way would Hendry let the Yankees not get involved.

[Eli]

Soler reportedly has "5 tools". No way would Hendry let the Yankees not get involved.

Yup, no one chases all-around talented players like Jim Hendry.

[Chuck to Chuck]

Soler reportedly has "5 tools". No way would Hendry let the Yankees not get involved.

Does he play second base?

[Bort]

Soler reportedly has "5 tools". No way would Hendry let the Yankees not get involved.

Does he play second base?

Can he grow a five o'clock shadow between pitches?

[BC]

Soler reportedly has "5 tools". No way would Hendry let the Yankees not get involved.

Does he play second base?

Can he grow a five o'clock shadow between pitches?

Can he get on his toes to punch a 5-foot-5 guy in the face?