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Author Topic: Really Shitty Thread Title of 2011-2012 Cubs Offseason  (Read 6554 times)
PenPho
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« Reply #120 on: February 14, 2012, 05:38:55 AM »

http://espn.go.com/blog/chicago/cubs/post/_/id/7810/reports-cubs-making-push-for-soler?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter

Quote
While multiple reports say that the Chicago Cubsí hopes of landing Cuban defector Yoenis Cespedes are fading, other reports say that they are very much in the mix for one of his countrymen.

That outfielder is Jorge Soler, who is only 19 years old -- seven years younger than Cespedes -- and considered to be a five-tool prospect. Sources told MLB.com that the Cubs would be willing to spend $27.5 million on Soler, but the sources were not sure how many years that would be spread over. Soler, who is in the Dominican Republic, has not been declared a free agent yet.

Might take a while to actually get him, but Soler would be a great signing. He'd immediately jump ahead of Jackson and Rizzo as our the Cubs' top prospect and probably top 10 in all of baseball.

Cespedes signs with A's.

DPD.

Yay?

Quote
When the winter began, there were three major Cubans who could become free agents, and the Cubs appear to have landed two of them, although not the top-rated one.

The Cubs are expected to add 19-year-old outfielder Jorge Soler after acquiring 19-year-old pitcher Gerardo Concepcion, according to multiple reports from the Dominican Republic, where Soler is staying.

Soler, according to one report, will be making $27.5 million with the Cubs for three or four years. He may have been courted by Cubs ownership and front-office officials while they were visiting their new Dominican academy earlier this month.

Because he is younger and less experienced than Cespedes, Soler was less heralded, although that did not diminish interest from many teams just because of his five-tool potential. He is 6-foot-3 and weighs just over 200 pounds.
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"I use exit numbers because they tell me how many miles are left since they're based off of the molested"
Chuck to Chuck
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« Reply #121 on: February 14, 2012, 08:58:46 AM »

Massive yea.
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morpheus
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« Reply #122 on: February 14, 2012, 09:11:45 AM »

Massive yea. Nothing matters until 2014 anyway.

Internet Chuck'd.  Not to be confused with Internet ChuckD.
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I don't get that KurtEvans photoshop.
Bort
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« Reply #123 on: February 14, 2012, 09:36:12 AM »

Massive yea. Nothing matters until 2014 anyway.

Internet Chuck'd.  Not to be confused with Internet ChuckD.

This one is technically consistent with Internet Chuckery. He probably won't be in the majors until 2014.
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"...by the time he stepped to the plate, he was more than 60% of the way toward being on first base already.

That is absolutely staggering."
Chuck to Chuck
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« Reply #124 on: February 14, 2012, 09:47:30 AM »

Massive yea. Nothing about the team's record matters until 2014 anyway.

Internet Chuck'd.  Not to be confused with Internet ChuckD.

Clarified.
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Fork
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« Reply #125 on: February 14, 2012, 10:50:10 AM »


What's 19 Cuban years in real-world years? 23?
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TIME TO POST!
CBStew
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« Reply #126 on: February 14, 2012, 01:18:30 PM »

Massive yea. Nothing matters until 2014 anyway.

Internet Chuck'd.  Not to be confused with Internet ChuckD.

This one is technically consistent with Internet Chuckery. He probably won't be in the majors until 2014.

Provided he graduates from high school or gets a GED.
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If I had known that I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself.   (Plagerized from numerous other folks)
PenPho
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« Reply #127 on: February 14, 2012, 03:18:04 PM »

http://espn.go.com/blog/chicago/cubs/post/_/id/7810/reports-cubs-making-push-for-soler?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter

Quote
While multiple reports say that the Chicago Cubsí hopes of landing Cuban defector Yoenis Cespedes are fading, other reports say that they are very much in the mix for one of his countrymen.

That outfielder is Jorge Soler, who is only 19 years old -- seven years younger than Cespedes -- and considered to be a five-tool prospect. Sources told MLB.com that the Cubs would be willing to spend $27.5 million on Soler, but the sources were not sure how many years that would be spread over. Soler, who is in the Dominican Republic, has not been declared a free agent yet.

Might take a while to actually get him, but Soler would be a great signing. He'd immediately jump ahead of Jackson and Rizzo as our the Cubs' top prospect and probably top 10 in all of baseball.

Cespedes signs with A's.

DPD.

Yay?

Quote
When the winter began, there were three major Cubans who could become free agents, and the Cubs appear to have landed two of them, although not the top-rated one.

The Cubs are expected to add 19-year-old outfielder Jorge Soler after acquiring 19-year-old pitcher Gerardo Concepcion, according to multiple reports from the Dominican Republic, where Soler is staying.

Soler, according to one report, will be making $27.5 million with the Cubs for three or four years. He may have been courted by Cubs ownership and front-office officials while they were visiting their new Dominican academy earlier this month.

Because he is younger and less experienced than Cespedes, Soler was less heralded, although that did not diminish interest from many teams just because of his five-tool potential. He is 6-foot-3 and weighs just over 200 pounds.

Well, shit.

Quote from: Buster Olney
Sources: Yankees have serious interest on OFer Jorge Soler, among many teams. Cubs are not close to signing Soler, as has been reported.

DAMN YOU, EPSTINK!
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Gilgamesh
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« Reply #128 on: February 14, 2012, 03:21:38 PM »

http://espn.go.com/blog/chicago/cubs/post/_/id/7810/reports-cubs-making-push-for-soler?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter

Quote
While multiple reports say that the Chicago Cubsí hopes of landing Cuban defector Yoenis Cespedes are fading, other reports say that they are very much in the mix for one of his countrymen.

That outfielder is Jorge Soler, who is only 19 years old -- seven years younger than Cespedes -- and considered to be a five-tool prospect. Sources told MLB.com that the Cubs would be willing to spend $27.5 million on Soler, but the sources were not sure how many years that would be spread over. Soler, who is in the Dominican Republic, has not been declared a free agent yet.

Might take a while to actually get him, but Soler would be a great signing. He'd immediately jump ahead of Jackson and Rizzo as our the Cubs' top prospect and probably top 10 in all of baseball.

Cespedes signs with A's.

DPD.

Yay?

Quote
When the winter began, there were three major Cubans who could become free agents, and the Cubs appear to have landed two of them, although not the top-rated one.

The Cubs are expected to add 19-year-old outfielder Jorge Soler after acquiring 19-year-old pitcher Gerardo Concepcion, according to multiple reports from the Dominican Republic, where Soler is staying.

Soler, according to one report, will be making $27.5 million with the Cubs for three or four years. He may have been courted by Cubs ownership and front-office officials while they were visiting their new Dominican academy earlier this month.

Because he is younger and less experienced than Cespedes, Soler was less heralded, although that did not diminish interest from many teams just because of his five-tool potential. He is 6-foot-3 and weighs just over 200 pounds.

Well, shit.

Quote from: Buster Olney
Sources: Yankees have serious interest on OFer Jorge Soler, among many teams. Cubs are not close to signing Soler, as has been reported.

DAMN YOU, EPSTINK!

To be fair, if there's been a recurrent theme this baseball offseason is that the people paid to write and opine on the subject have been so extraordinarily wrong.
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This is so bad, I'd root for the Orioles over this fucking team, but I can't. Because they're a fucking drug and you can't kick it and they'll never win anything and they'll always suck, but it'll always be sunny at Wrigley and there will be tits and ivy and an old scoreboard and fucking Chads.
Tinker to Evers to Chance
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« Reply #129 on: February 14, 2012, 03:32:21 PM »

http://espn.go.com/blog/chicago/cubs/post/_/id/7810/reports-cubs-making-push-for-soler?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter

Quote
While multiple reports say that the Chicago Cubsí hopes of landing Cuban defector Yoenis Cespedes are fading, other reports say that they are very much in the mix for one of his countrymen.

That outfielder is Jorge Soler, who is only 19 years old -- seven years younger than Cespedes -- and considered to be a five-tool prospect. Sources told MLB.com that the Cubs would be willing to spend $27.5 million on Soler, but the sources were not sure how many years that would be spread over. Soler, who is in the Dominican Republic, has not been declared a free agent yet.

Might take a while to actually get him, but Soler would be a great signing. He'd immediately jump ahead of Jackson and Rizzo as our the Cubs' top prospect and probably top 10 in all of baseball.

Cespedes signs with A's.

DPD.

Yay?

Quote
When the winter began, there were three major Cubans who could become free agents, and the Cubs appear to have landed two of them, although not the top-rated one.

The Cubs are expected to add 19-year-old outfielder Jorge Soler after acquiring 19-year-old pitcher Gerardo Concepcion, according to multiple reports from the Dominican Republic, where Soler is staying.

Soler, according to one report, will be making $27.5 million with the Cubs for three or four years. He may have been courted by Cubs ownership and front-office officials while they were visiting their new Dominican academy earlier this month.

Because he is younger and less experienced than Cespedes, Soler was less heralded, although that did not diminish interest from many teams just because of his five-tool potential. He is 6-foot-3 and weighs just over 200 pounds.

Well, shit.

Quote from: Buster Olney
Sources: Yankees have serious interest on OFer Jorge Soler, among many teams. Cubs are not close to signing Soler, as has been reported.

DAMN YOU, EPSTINK!

To be fair, if there's been a recurrent theme this baseball offseason is that the people paid to write and opine on the subject have been so extraordinarily wrong Epstink is terrible.
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I don't get this KurtEvans photoshop at all.
BH
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« Reply #130 on: February 14, 2012, 04:17:20 PM »

Soler reportedly has "5 tools". No way would Hendry let the Yankees not get involved.
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Eli
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« Reply #131 on: February 14, 2012, 08:28:15 PM »

Soler reportedly has "5 tools". No way would Hendry let the Yankees not get involved.

Yup, no one chases all-around talented players like Jim Hendry.
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Chuck to Chuck
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« Reply #132 on: February 14, 2012, 08:30:18 PM »

Soler reportedly has "5 tools". No way would Hendry let the Yankees not get involved.

Does he play second base?
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Bort
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« Reply #133 on: February 14, 2012, 09:33:49 PM »

Soler reportedly has "5 tools". No way would Hendry let the Yankees not get involved.

Does he play second base?

Can he grow a five o'clock shadow between pitches?
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"...by the time he stepped to the plate, he was more than 60% of the way toward being on first base already.

That is absolutely staggering."
BC
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« Reply #134 on: February 14, 2012, 10:55:05 PM »

Soler reportedly has "5 tools". No way would Hendry let the Yankees not get involved.

Does he play second base?

Can he grow a five o'clock shadow between pitches?

Can he get on his toes to punch a 5-foot-5 guy in the face?
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