How's this for a tits-out day?

[J. Walter Weatherman]

I was the one screaming about Tee Martin for the entire ballpark to hear. And I haven't a clue why.

I have a strong suspicion that the answer is: Fork.

[Fork]

I wonder what Black Sunday and Trachsel on 3-days rest and DOOOOOOM was all about. I don't remember anything like that. I just remember being happy to live in Chicago and having a bloody hand whilst riding the train drunk back home. I'm sure people sit on the Red Line leaking blood from their fist and grinning from ear to ear all the time but it was a new experience for me and I think I and the City itself are better for it.

I have no idea. I also don't remember the guy trying to fight our whole section. I do remember Garvey and shitty pizza though. Good times.

He didn't want to fight. He just wanted to talk shit. And when we taunted him back he got asshurt. But he knew better. Just some dumbass cracker. I should talk though. I was the one screaming about Tee Martin for the entire ballpark to hear. And I haven't a clue why.

The convo went thusly:

Asshurt Card Fan: Any one of you fucking guys, let's go!

Old Guy Covered in Mustard: It doesn't work that way. You want one of us, you get us all.

ACF: You call that a fight?

OGCiM: No, I call that an asskicking.

/convo

[CT III]

I wonder what Black Sunday and Trachsel on 3-days rest and DOOOOOOM was all about. I don't remember anything like that. I just remember being happy to live in Chicago and having a bloody hand whilst riding the train drunk back home. I'm sure people sit on the Red Line leaking blood from their fist and grinning from ear to ear all the time but it was a new experience for me and I think I and the City itself are better for it.

I have no idea. I also don't remember the guy trying to fight our whole section. I do remember Garvey and shitty pizza though. Good times.

He didn't want to fight. He just wanted to talk shit. And when we taunted him back he got asshurt. But he knew better. Just some dumbass cracker. I should talk though. I was the one screaming about Tee Martin for the entire ballpark to hear. And I haven't a clue why.

The convo went thusly:

Asshurt Card Fan: Any one of you fucking guys, let's go!

Old Guy Covered in Mustard: It doesn't work that way. You want one of us, you get us all.

ACF: You call that a fight?

OGCiM: No, I call that an asskicking.

/convo

This is the first I've heard of Oleg's dad being in attendance.

[Internet Apex]

Not only do I get to cut out of work early to take in a ballgame with Huey, Slak and Apex, but...

The Cubs clobber the Shitbirds 12-3

Ankiel takes the Golden Sombrero amid our HGH chants.

We get to heckle an assload of Cardinals fans, one of whom wants to fight an entire section. He finally decides discretion is in fact the better part of valor.

The Chiefs get a new TE for my fantasy team.

A picture of Steve Garvey in a Padres uniform a Tards fan's face at Sluggers gets pwned.

Words can't do it justice.

My hand scars explained in five years'd.

So help you God if you're injured for Thursday's doubleheader.  You're such a Farnsworth.

Shit, I'll be there bleeding through my batting gloves and hitting ropes down the RF line to plate our only run of the game again. It'll just add to my mystique. I got no job but I got mystique comin' out my ass crack, ogden.

Shut up, Pex. You're a douche.

[PANK!]

Apologies for linking to the forever-loading SB Nation, but I always used this documentation of mitigating butthurtedness to validate that day.  It may have apparently cost us a charter member of Desipio Nation (Where hast thou gone, Brian?), but I daresay it was well worth it.  Viva Desipio!

[Brownie]

Apologies for linking to the forever-loading SB Nation, but I always used this documentation of mitigating butthurtedness to validate that day.  It may have apparently cost us a charter member of Desipio Nation (Where hast thou gone, Brian?), but I daresay it was well worth it.  Viva Desipio!

What did you guys do? Get him tossed out of his season tickets?

[Fork]

Apologies for linking to the forever-loading SB Nation, but I always used this documentation of mitigating butthurtedness to validate that day.  It may have apparently cost us a charter member of Desipio Nation (Where hast thou gone, Brian?), but I daresay it was well worth it.  Viva Desipio!

What did you guys do? Get him tossed out of his season tickets?

No, but I think the regret he had for us being in his seats were enough to get out of Dodge.

[Internet Apex]

Apologies for linking to the forever-loading SB Nation, but I always used this documentation of mitigating butthurtedness to validate that day.  It may have apparently cost us a charter member of Desipio Nation (Where hast thou gone, Brian?), but I daresay it was well worth it.  Viva Desipio!

What did you guys do? Get him tossed out of his season tickets?

No, but I think the regret he had for us being in his seats were enough to get out of Dodge.

Either that or he got a life or a son or something and forgot all about our dark corner.

[Slaky]

Apologies for linking to the forever-loading SB Nation, but I always used this documentation of mitigating butthurtedness to validate that day.  It may have apparently cost us a charter member of Desipio Nation (Where hast thou gone, Brian?), but I daresay it was well worth it.  Viva Desipio!

What did you guys do? Get him tossed out of his season tickets?

No, but I think the regret he had for us being in his seats were enough to get out of Dodge.

Either that or he got a life or a son or something and forgot all about our dark corner.

I have one of those but I still come around.

[Fork]

Apologies for linking to the forever-loading SB Nation, but I always used this documentation of mitigating butthurtedness to validate that day.  It may have apparently cost us a charter member of Desipio Nation (Where hast thou gone, Brian?), but I daresay it was well worth it.  Viva Desipio!

What did you guys do? Get him tossed out of his season tickets?

No, but I think the regret he had for us being in his seats were enough to get out of Dodge.

Either that or he got a life or a son or something and forgot all about our dark corner.

I have one of those but I still come around.

God damnit, Marie.