Primary Clusterfuck 2012

[SKO]

Getting coffee this morning the news was on. They were talking about who won the vote amongst Evangelicals in Iowa.

In short, I'd like to leave and never come back.

I have to attend one of their weddings this spring. T'was a girl who was a pre-law student. Bright kid. Then she became disillusioned after she broke up with her boyfriend of five years and got sucked in by "bible-believing christians" who have now convinced her that she can save herself from her past wickedness by obeying her husband (they're engaged but have never dated, because only "courtship" is acceptable Christian dating) and have actually told her she can get salvation by bearing children. But she's the fiancee's ex-roommate so apparently I'm obligated to go. Can't wait to deal with the non-alcoholic, non-dancing, non-Cyndi Lauper reception.

In short, yeah, fuck those guys.

I was going to say something about liking the 14th century viewpoints too, but then I figured that even 14th century Europeans probably did more drinking, fucking, and carousing than most.

So, yeah, fuck them.

We certainly have a long tradition of drinking, fucking and carousing.  I've been doing it for years.

Replacing all vowels with the letter "y", shagging sheep...


Damned Welshman.

[Tonker]

Getting coffee this morning the news was on. They were talking about who won the vote amongst Evangelicals in Iowa.

In short, I'd like to leave and never come back.

In all seriousness, and speaking as an outsider, one of the things that fascinates me about America is that more of you don't feel like this.  Most of you on here (with one or two notable exceptions) are intelligent, educated, thoughtful chaps, and yet you're surrounded - and massively outnumbered - by dribbling fucking idiots.  Does it not freak you out, even just a bit?

[PenPho]

Getting coffee this morning the news was on. They were talking about who won the vote amongst Evangelicals in Iowa.

In short, I'd like to leave and never come back.

In all seriousness, and speaking as an outsider, one of the things that fascinates me about America is that more of you don't feel like this.  Most of you on here (with one or two notable exceptions) are intelligent, educated, thoughtful chaps, and yet you're surrounded - and massively outnumbered - by dribbling fucking idiots.  Does it not freak you out, even just a bit?

Yeah, but we have like 87 different kinds of shampoo to choose from at the supermarket.

[Internet Apex]

Getting coffee this morning the news was on. They were talking about who won the vote amongst Evangelicals in Iowa.

In short, I'd like to leave and never come back.

In all seriousness, and speaking as an outsider, one of the things that fascinates me about America is that more of you don't feel like this.  Most of you on here (with one or two notable exceptions) are intelligent, educated, thoughtful chaps, and yet you're surrounded - and massively outnumbered - by dribbling fucking idiots.  Does it not freak you out, even just a bit?

The zealots are just like the crazy people roaming the streets in rags yelling at an imaginary voice in their head. I pretend not to notice them until they do something really audacious like ask me for money and/or run for office. Then I hold my breath and walk away.

[CT III]

Getting coffee this morning the news was on. They were talking about who won the vote amongst Evangelicals in Iowa.

In short, I'd like to leave and never come back.

In all seriousness, and speaking as an outsider, one of the things that fascinates me about America is that more of you don't feel like this.  Most of you on here (with one or two notable exceptions) are intelligent, educated, thoughtful chaps, and yet you're surrounded - and massively outnumbered - by dribbling fucking idiots.  Does it not freak you out, even just a bit?

Are we talking about the Cubs fanbase again?

[Yeti]

Getting coffee this morning the news was on. They were talking about who won the vote amongst Evangelicals in Iowa.

In short, I'd like to leave and never come back.

I have to attend one of their weddings this spring. T'was a girl who was a pre-law student. Bright kid. Then she became disillusioned after she broke up with her boyfriend of five years and got sucked in by "bible-believing christians" who have now convinced her that she can save herself from her past wickedness by obeying her husband (they're engaged but have never dated, because only "courtship" is acceptable Christian dating) and have actually told her she can get salvation by bearing children. But she's the fiancee's ex-roommate so apparently I'm obligated to go. Can't wait to deal with the non-alcoholic, non-dancing, non-Cyndi Lauper reception.

In short, yeah, fuck those guys.

I was going to say something about liking the 14th century viewpoints too, but then I figured that even 14th century Europeans probably did more drinking, fucking, and carousing than most.

So, yeah, fuck them.

My boss told me that back in the colonial times here, people didn't get married until there was knowledge of the ability for that couple to produce a child. I have not seen any documentation to back that up, but it definitely supports that notion of no fucking til marriage

[Gilgamesh]

Getting coffee this morning the news was on. They were talking about who won the vote amongst Evangelicals in Iowa.

In short, I'd like to leave and never come back.

In all seriousness, and speaking as an outsider, one of the things that fascinates me about America is that more of you don't feel like this.  Most of you on here (with one or two notable exceptions) are intelligent, educated, thoughtful chaps, and yet you're surrounded - and massively outnumbered - by dribbling fucking idiots.  Does it not freak you out, even just a bit?

Yeah, but we have like 87 different kinds of shampoo to choose from at the supermarket.

And cheap bacon, pornography, baseball, and nuclear weapons.  It's a pretty cool party over here.

[Tonker]

Getting coffee this morning the news was on. They were talking about who won the vote amongst Evangelicals in Iowa.

In short, I'd like to leave and never come back.

In all seriousness, and speaking as an outsider, one of the things that fascinates me about America is that more of you don't feel like this.  Most of you on here (with one or two notable exceptions) are intelligent, educated, thoughtful chaps, and yet you're surrounded - and massively outnumbered - by dribbling fucking idiots.  Does it not freak you out, even just a bit?

The zealots are just like the crazy people roaming the streets in rags yelling at an imaginary voice in their head. I pretend not to notice them until they do something really audacious like ask me for money and/or run for office vote for Rick Santorum. Then I hold my breath and walk away.

Iowa'd.

[Yeti]

Getting coffee this morning the news was on. They were talking about who won the vote amongst Evangelicals in Iowa.

In short, I'd like to leave and never come back.

I have to attend one of their weddings this spring. T'was a girl who was a pre-law student. Bright kid. Then she became disillusioned after she broke up with her boyfriend of five years and got sucked in by "bible-believing christians" who have now convinced her that she can save herself from her past wickedness by obeying her husband (they're engaged but have never dated, because only "courtship" is acceptable Christian dating) and have actually told her she can get salvation by bearing children. But she's the fiancee's ex-roommate so apparently I'm obligated to go. Can't wait to deal with the non-alcoholic, non-dancing, non-Cyndi Lauper reception.

In short, yeah, fuck those guys.

I was going to say something about liking the 14th century viewpoints too, but then I figured that even 14th century Europeans probably did more drinking, fucking, and carousing than most.

So, yeah, fuck them.

My boss told me that back in the colonial times here, people didn't get married until there was knowledge of the ability for that couple to produce a child. I have not seen any documentation to back that up, but it definitely supports that notion of no fucking til marriage

After some googling, it appears that these didn't go unpunished all the time

[CBStew]

Getting coffee this morning the news was on. They were talking about who won the vote amongst Evangelicals in Iowa.

In short, I'd like to leave and never come back.

I have to attend one of their weddings this spring. T'was a girl who was a pre-law student. Bright kid. Then she became disillusioned after she broke up with her boyfriend of five years and got sucked in by "bible-believing christians" who have now convinced her that she can save herself from her past wickedness by obeying her husband (they're engaged but have never dated, because only "courtship" is acceptable Christian dating) and have actually told her she can get salvation by bearing children. But she's the fiancee's ex-roommate so apparently I'm obligated to go. Can't wait to deal with the non-alcoholic, non-dancing, non-Cyndi Lauper reception.

In short, yeah, fuck those guys.

I was going to say something about liking the 14th century viewpoints too, but then I figured that even 14th century Europeans probably did more drinking, fucking, and carousing than most.

So, yeah, fuck them.

My boss told me that back in the colonial times here, people didn't get married until there was knowledge of the ability for that couple to produce a child. I have not seen any documentation to back that up, but it definitely supports that notion of no fucking til marriage

Colonial times?  It sounds like the '50s to me.

[CBStew]

They wouldn't show Annette's bellybutton in the Beach Blanket movies.

[Chuck to Chuck]

They wouldn't show Annette's bellybutton in the Beach Blanket movies.

And the "I Dream of Genie" TV show.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

They wouldn't show Annette's bellybutton in the Beach Blanket movies.

And the "I Dream of Genie" TV show.

Annette Funicello was on "I Dream of Jeannie"?

[SKO]

They wouldn't show Annette's bellybutton in the Beach Blanket movies.

And the "I Dream of Genie" TV show.

Annette Funicello was on "I Dream of Jeannie"?

I thank Atheismo every day that I was fortunate enough to grow up in the Golden Age of Fapping, instead of these dark ages they speak of.

[PenPho]

They wouldn't show Annette's bellybutton in the Beach Blanket movies.

And the "I Dream of Genie" TV show.

Annette Funicello was on "I Dream of Jeannie"?

I thank Atheismo every day that I was fortunate enough to grow up in the Golden Age of Fapping, instead of these dark ages they speak of.

And yet, you celebrate this good fortune by living in Iowa and getting engaged at 18.