Primary Clusterfuck 2012

[Tinker to Evers to Chance]

I can't wait to see who Gil picks to win the Northern Marianas Caucus.

[Chuck to Chuck]

Dennis Kucinich defeated in primary by fellow incumbent Marcy Kaptur. Good fucking riddance.

Why the hate? I mean, sure, Kucinich is a joke. He's a walking 30 Rock punchline who once saw a UFO with Shirley MacLaine. But "good fucking riddance" seems weirdly vehement for that ineffectual, elfin Don Quixote.

Is there some research lurking in your database suggesting that Kucinich wasn't really in Congress to serve?

Or are you just trying to burnish your pox-on-both-houses centrist street cred for some sort of sensible-moderation-off against Huey and Gil?

Yeah. I really love the guy but I want to burnish my centrist cred with Morph and Teej.

It's not that the guy's a fucking loon who actually has the ability to change my taxes, fund government programs, influence foreign policy, change federal school regulations.  Maybe I don't like to have fucking loons have that power.

Nah, that can't be it.  You guys have a sense of my soul.

[morpheus]

Dennis Kucinich defeated in primary by fellow incumbent Marcy Kaptur. Good fucking riddance.

Why the hate? I mean, sure, Kucinich is a joke. He's a walking 30 Rock punchline who once saw a UFO with Shirley MacLaine. But "good fucking riddance" seems weirdly vehement for that ineffectual, elfin Don Quixote.

Is there some research lurking in your database suggesting that Kucinich wasn't really in Congress to serve?

Or are you just trying to burnish your pox-on-both-houses centrist street cred for some sort of sensible-moderation-off against Huey and Gil?

[J. Walter Weatherman]

Dennis Kucinich defeated in primary by fellow incumbent Marcy Kaptur. Good fucking riddance.

Why the hate? I mean, sure, Kucinich is a joke. He's a walking 30 Rock punchline who once saw a UFO with Shirley MacLaine. But "good fucking riddance" seems weirdly vehement for that ineffectual, elfin Don Quixote.

Is there some research lurking in your database suggesting that Kucinich wasn't really in Congress to serve?

Or are you just trying to burnish your pox-on-both-houses centrist street cred for some sort of sensible-moderation-off against Huey and Gil?

Man, who put the muscle in your hemp Wheaties?

Chuck, I guess.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

Dennis Kucinich defeated in primary by fellow incumbent Marcy Kaptur. Good fucking riddance.

Why the hate? I mean, sure, Kucinich is a joke. He's a walking 30 Rock punchline who once saw a UFO with Shirley MacLaine. But "good fucking riddance" seems weirdly vehement for that ineffectual, elfin Don Quixote.

Is there some research lurking in your database suggesting that Kucinich wasn't really in Congress to serve?

Or are you just trying to burnish your pox-on-both-houses centrist street cred for some sort of sensible-moderation-off against Huey and Gil?

Yeah. I really love the guy but I want to burnish my centrist cred with Morph and Teej.

It's not that the guy's a fucking loon who actually has the ability to change my taxes, fund government programs, influence foreign policy, change federal school regulations.  Maybe I don't like to have fucking loons have that power.

Nah, that can't be it.  You guys have a sense of my soul.

I'm not saying you secretly love the guy. I'm just saying that caring enough about this one ineffectual, mostly powerless loon out of 435 awful, awful Congress clowns, whose biggest hobby horse seems to have been establishing a US Dept of Peace, to say "good fucking riddance" to him in particular is... odd.

Hating Dennis Kucinich is as bizarre and out-of-left-field as hating John Lithgow.

[morpheus]

Dennis Kucinich defeated in primary by fellow incumbent Marcy Kaptur. Good fucking riddance.

Why the hate? I mean, sure, Kucinich is a joke. He's a walking 30 Rock punchline who once saw a UFO with Shirley MacLaine. But "good fucking riddance" seems weirdly vehement for that ineffectual, elfin Don Quixote.

Is there some research lurking in your database suggesting that Kucinich wasn't really in Congress to serve?

Or are you just trying to burnish your pox-on-both-houses centrist street cred for some sort of sensible-moderation-off against Huey and Gil?

Yeah. I really love the guy but I want to burnish my centrist cred with Morph and Teej.

It's not that the guy's a fucking loon who actually has the ability to change my taxes, fund government programs, influence foreign policy, change federal school regulations.  Maybe I don't like to have fucking loons have that power.

Nah, that can't be it.  You guys have a sense of my soul.

I'm not saying you secretly love the guy. I'm just saying that caring enough about this one ineffectual, mostly powerless loon out of 435 awful, awful Congress clowns, whose biggest hobby horse seems to have been establishing a US Dept of Peace, to say "good fucking riddance" to him in particular is... odd.

Hating Dennis Kucinich is as bizarre and out-of-left-field as hating John Lithgow.

Fucking John Lithgow.  I will never forgive him for Harry and the Hendersons.

[Chuck to Chuck]

I'm not saying you secretly love the guy. I'm just saying that caring enough about this one ineffectual, mostly powerless loon out of 435 awful, awful Congress clowns, whose biggest hobby horse seems to have been establishing a US Dept of Peace, to say "good fucking riddance" to him in particular is... odd.

Hating Dennis Kucinich is as bizarre and out-of-left-field as hating John Lithgow.

What's bizarre and out-of-left-field is equating John Lithgow to Dennis Kucinich.

How's this for balance:

Jean Schmidt loses her House seat as well.  Good riddance. (she skips a "fucking" because she was even more ineffectual and mostly powerless than Dennis)

[SKO]

Dennis Kucinich defeated in primary by fellow incumbent Marcy Kaptur. Good fucking riddance.

Why the hate? I mean, sure, Kucinich is a joke. He's a walking 30 Rock punchline who once saw a UFO with Shirley MacLaine. But "good fucking riddance" seems weirdly vehement for that ineffectual, elfin Don Quixote.

Is there some research lurking in your database suggesting that Kucinich wasn't really in Congress to serve?

Or are you just trying to burnish your pox-on-both-houses centrist street cred for some sort of sensible-moderation-off against Huey and Gil?

Yeah. I really love the guy but I want to burnish my centrist cred with Morph and Teej.

It's not that the guy's a fucking loon who actually has the ability to change my taxes, fund government programs, influence foreign policy, change federal school regulations.  Maybe I don't like to have fucking loons have that power.

Nah, that can't be it.  You guys have a sense of my soul.

I'm not saying you secretly love the guy. I'm just saying that caring enough about this one ineffectual, mostly powerless loon out of 435 awful, awful Congress clowns, whose biggest hobby horse seems to have been establishing a US Dept of Peace, to say "good fucking riddance" to him in particular is... odd.

Hating Dennis Kucinich is as bizarre and out-of-left-field as hating John Lithgow.

Fucking John Lithgow.  I will never forgive him for Harry and the Hendersons.

Why would you need to forgive someone for the GREATEST FUCKING MOVIE EVER?

[R-V]

Dennis Kucinich defeated in primary by fellow incumbent Marcy Kaptur. Good fucking riddance.

Why the hate? I mean, sure, Kucinich is a joke. He's a walking 30 Rock punchline who once saw a UFO with Shirley MacLaine. But "good fucking riddance" seems weirdly vehement for that ineffectual, elfin Don Quixote.

Is there some research lurking in your database suggesting that Kucinich wasn't really in Congress to serve?

Or are you just trying to burnish your pox-on-both-houses centrist street cred for some sort of sensible-moderation-off against Huey and Gil?

Yeah. I really love the guy but I want to burnish my centrist cred with Morph and Teej.

It's not that the guy's a fucking loon who actually has the ability to change my taxes, fund government programs, influence foreign policy, change federal school regulations.  Maybe I don't like to have fucking loons have that power.

Nah, that can't be it.  You guys have a sense of my soul.

I'm not saying you secretly love the guy. I'm just saying that caring enough about this one ineffectual, mostly powerless loon out of 435 awful, awful Congress clowns, whose biggest hobby horse seems to have been establishing a US Dept of Peace, to say "good fucking riddance" to him in particular is... odd.

Hating Dennis Kucinich is as bizarre and out-of-left-field as hating John Lithgow.

Fucking John Lithgow.  I will never forgive him for Harry and the Hendersons.

Some agree with George Henderson's dovish stance on the Harry issue; others say Jacque Lefleur's hawkish position made more sense. Chuck takes the middle ground on this one - we should simultaneously emphathize with Harry's plight and get tough on him.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

Here is what I believe to be a comprehensive list of Kucinich-sponsored legislation that has gone on to become law to date:

• H. J. Res. 26: Proclaiming Casimir Pulaski to be an honorary citizen of the United States posthumously (111th Congress)
• H.R. 5390: To designate the facility of the United States Postal Service located at 13301 Smith Road in Cleveland, Ohio, as the "David John Donafee Post Office Building" (111th Congress)
• H.R. 6150: To designate the facility of the United States Postal Service located at 14500 Lorain Avenue in Cleveland, Ohio, as the "John P. Gallagher Post Office Building" (110th Congress)
• H.R. 4083: To make available to the Ukrainian Museum and Archives the USIA television program "Window on America" (105th Congress)

Another bill, H.R. 2707: To reauthorize the Underground Railroad Educational and Cultural Program, passed the House during the 110th Congress but was never voted on in the Senate.

An additional three non-binding resolutions of his have been put to a vote in the House and failed:

• H. Con. Res. 51: Directing the President, pursuant to section 5(c) of the War Powers Resolution, to remove the United States Armed Forces from Libya (112th Congress)
• H. Con. Res. 28: Directing the President, pursuant to section 5(c) of the War Powers Resolution, to remove the United States Armed Forces from Afghanistan (112th Congress)
• H. Con. Res. 248: Directing the President, pursuant to section 5(c) of the War Powers Resolution, to remove the United States Armed Forces from Afghanistan (111th Congress)

Beyond the above, it's almost all anti-war, anti-genetically-modified-food, anti-death-penalty and pro-universal-prekindergarten windmill tilting that never even came up for votes.

Oh, and he tried to impeach Dick Cheney.

Truly a sordid legacy. GOOD FUCKING RIDDANCE.

[Chuck to Chuck]

Fucking John Lithgow.  I will never forgive him for Harry and the Hendersons.

Some agree with George Henderson's dovish stance on the Harry issue; others say Jacque Lefleur's hawkish position made more sense. Chuck takes the middle ground on this one - we should simultaneously emphathize with Harry's plight and get tough on him.

Having never seen Harry and the Hendersons, I do not have a formulated opinion.  Now, ask me about Lithgow's pre-Garp CBS Radio Mystery Theater radio show performances, and I'm all in.

[Internet Apex]

Here is what I believe to be a comprehensive list of Kucinich-sponsored legislation that has gone on to become law to date:

• H. J. Res. 26: Proclaiming Casimir Pulaski to be an honorary citizen of the United States posthumously (111th Congress)
• H.R. 5390: To designate the facility of the United States Postal Service located at 13301 Smith Road in Cleveland, Ohio, as the "David John Donafee Post Office Building" (111th Congress)
• H.R. 6150: To designate the facility of the United States Postal Service located at 14500 Lorain Avenue in Cleveland, Ohio, as the "John P. Gallagher Post Office Building" (110th Congress)
• H.R. 4083: To make available to the Ukrainian Museum and Archives the USIA television program "Window on America" (105th Congress)

Another bill, H.R. 2707: To reauthorize the Underground Railroad Educational and Cultural Program, passed the House during the 110th Congress but was never voted on in the Senate.

An additional three non-binding resolutions of his have been put to a vote in the House and failed:

• H. Con. Res. 51: Directing the President, pursuant to section 5(c) of the War Powers Resolution, to remove the United States Armed Forces from Libya (112th Congress)
• H. Con. Res. 28: Directing the President, pursuant to section 5(c) of the War Powers Resolution, to remove the United States Armed Forces from Afghanistan (112th Congress)
• H. Con. Res. 248: Directing the President, pursuant to section 5(c) of the War Powers Resolution, to remove the United States Armed Forces from Afghanistan (111th Congress)

Beyond the above, it's almost all anti-war, anti-genetically-modified-food, anti-death-penalty and pro-universal-prekindergarten windmill tilting that never came up for votes.

Oh, and he tried to impeach Dick Cheney.

Truly a sordid legacy. GOOD FUCKING RIDDANCE.

How the hell did you research all that so fast with his tiny, elven dong between your teeth?

[morpheus]

Here is what I believe to be a comprehensive list of Kucinich-sponsored legislation that has gone on to become law to date:

• H. J. Res. 26: Proclaiming Casimir Pulaski to be an honorary citizen of the United States posthumously (111th Congress)
• H.R. 5390: To designate the facility of the United States Postal Service located at 13301 Smith Road in Cleveland, Ohio, as the "David John Donafee Post Office Building" (111th Congress)
• H.R. 6150: To designate the facility of the United States Postal Service located at 14500 Lorain Avenue in Cleveland, Ohio, as the "John P. Gallagher Post Office Building" (110th Congress)
• H.R. 4083: To make available to the Ukrainian Museum and Archives the USIA television program "Window on America" (105th Congress)

Another bill, H.R. 2707: To reauthorize the Underground Railroad Educational and Cultural Program, passed the House during the 110th Congress but was never voted on in the Senate.

An additional three non-binding resolutions of his have been put to a vote in the House and failed:

• H. Con. Res. 51: Directing the President, pursuant to section 5(c) of the War Powers Resolution, to remove the United States Armed Forces from Libya (112th Congress)
• H. Con. Res. 28: Directing the President, pursuant to section 5(c) of the War Powers Resolution, to remove the United States Armed Forces from Afghanistan (112th Congress)
• H. Con. Res. 248: Directing the President, pursuant to section 5(c) of the War Powers Resolution, to remove the United States Armed Forces from Afghanistan (111th Congress)

Beyond the above, it's almost all anti-war, anti-genetically-modified-food, anti-death-penalty and pro-universal-prekindergarten windmill tilting that never came up for votes.

Oh, and he tried to impeach Dick Cheney.

Truly a sordid legacy. GOOD FUCKING RIDDANCE.

How the hell did you research all that so fast with his tiny, elven dong between your teeth?

Thrillho : Dennis Kucinich :: Apex : LeBron James

Did I do that right?

[J. Walter Weatherman]

Here is what I believe to be a comprehensive list of Kucinich-sponsored legislation that has gone on to become law to date:

• H. J. Res. 26: Proclaiming Casimir Pulaski to be an honorary citizen of the United States posthumously (111th Congress)
• H.R. 5390: To designate the facility of the United States Postal Service located at 13301 Smith Road in Cleveland, Ohio, as the "David John Donafee Post Office Building" (111th Congress)
• H.R. 6150: To designate the facility of the United States Postal Service located at 14500 Lorain Avenue in Cleveland, Ohio, as the "John P. Gallagher Post Office Building" (110th Congress)
• H.R. 4083: To make available to the Ukrainian Museum and Archives the USIA television program "Window on America" (105th Congress)

Another bill, H.R. 2707: To reauthorize the Underground Railroad Educational and Cultural Program, passed the House during the 110th Congress but was never voted on in the Senate.

An additional three non-binding resolutions of his have been put to a vote in the House and failed:

• H. Con. Res. 51: Directing the President, pursuant to section 5(c) of the War Powers Resolution, to remove the United States Armed Forces from Libya (112th Congress)
• H. Con. Res. 28: Directing the President, pursuant to section 5(c) of the War Powers Resolution, to remove the United States Armed Forces from Afghanistan (112th Congress)
• H. Con. Res. 248: Directing the President, pursuant to section 5(c) of the War Powers Resolution, to remove the United States Armed Forces from Afghanistan (111th Congress)

Beyond the above, it's almost all anti-war, anti-genetically-modified-food, anti-death-penalty and pro-universal-prekindergarten windmill tilting that never came up for votes.

Oh, and he tried to impeach Dick Cheney.

Truly a sordid legacy. GOOD FUCKING RIDDANCE.

How the hell did you research all that so fast with his tiny, elven dong between your teeth?

Thrillho : Dennis Kucinich :: Apex : LeBron James

Did I do that right?

Cleveland now hates them both?

[Bort]

Can someone please get a datase together of the arbitrary, mostly inoffensive  things that Chuck hates with every fiber of his being?

Soriano
Kucinich
Christina Hendricks' ass

What else is out there?

Cereal?
Corn Holders?
The Ford Focus?
71-degree weather?