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Author Topic: Monumental  ( 3,604 )

PenPho

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Monumental
« on: February 10, 2012, 02:08:14 PM »
Worried about the future of America? 
Worried about what kind of world your kids will grow up in?

Well, don't worry, because so is Kirk Cameron. 
And unlike you, he's doing something about it.

Even if you don't click the link and read the story, I implore you to watch the trailer.
I don't even think it's possible to make a spoof of this.

Also - this amazing movie poster:


"I use exit numbers because they tell me how many miles are left since they're based off of the molested"

Gilgamesh

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Re: Monumental
« Reply #1 on: February 10, 2012, 02:49:35 PM »
For a moment, I thought Christina Hendricks' chest secured a biopic.
This is so bad, I'd root for the Orioles over this fucking team, but I can't. Because they're a fucking drug and you can't kick it and they'll never win anything and they'll always suck, but it'll always be sunny at Wrigley and there will be tits and ivy and an old scoreboard and fucking Chads.

Tonker

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Re: Monumental
« Reply #2 on: February 10, 2012, 03:04:22 PM »
I'm speechless, not least at the assertion that America is the "free-est (sic) nation the World has ever seen".  Really?  How are you measuring that, exactly, Kirk?

How the fuck did this film get made, exactly?
Your toilet's broken, Dave, but I fixed it.

BH

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Re: Monumental
« Reply #3 on: February 10, 2012, 03:12:01 PM »
"It's been four years since Kirk Cameron appeared in the impactful marriage film "Fireproof," but he hasn't been resting"

Has anyone even heard of this impactful film?

PenPho

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Re: Monumental
« Reply #4 on: February 10, 2012, 03:26:56 PM »
Quote from: BH on February 10, 2012, 03:12:01 PM
"It's been four years since Kirk Cameron appeared in the impactful marriage film "Fireproof," but he hasn't been resting"

Has anyone even heard of this impactful film?

I have, but only because I spend the majority of my days in a chatroom with strange men on a dark corner of the internet.
"I use exit numbers because they tell me how many miles are left since they're based off of the molested"

Chuck to Chuck

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Re: Monumental
« Reply #5 on: February 10, 2012, 03:27:53 PM »
Quote from: Gilgamesh on February 10, 2012, 02:49:35 PM
For a moment, I thought Christina Hendricks' chest secured a biopic.
This film will earn fewer dollars than Christina has pounds.

So, it could be #1 at the box office.

J. Walter Weatherman

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Re: Monumental
« Reply #6 on: February 10, 2012, 03:31:28 PM »
Quote from: Tonker on February 10, 2012, 03:04:22 PM
I'm speechless, not least at the assertion that America is the "free-est (sic) nation the World has ever seen".  Really?  How are you measuring that, exactly, Kirk?

How the fuck did this film get made, exactly?

I remain amazed that, even after all this time, Tonker is so clueless about what makes Real America™ tick.

Jesus invented freedom in 1776. End of story.
Loor and I came acrossks like opatoets.

flannj

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Re: Monumental
« Reply #7 on: February 10, 2012, 03:32:37 PM »
Quote from: BH on February 10, 2012, 03:12:01 PM
"It's been four years since Kirk Cameron appeared in the impactful marriage film "Fireproof," but he hasn't been resting"

Has anyone even heard of this impactful film?

I didn't even know who Kirk Cameron is. I had heard the name before but it meant nothing to me.
So I watched the trailer...
And then I read the article...
And then I read the Wiki entry on "Fireproof".

All I can say is, thanks a lot Pen.
You ass.
"Not throwing my hands up or my dress above my ears don't mean I ain't awestruck." -- Al Swearengen

PenPho

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Re: Monumental
« Reply #8 on: February 10, 2012, 03:35:20 PM »
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on February 10, 2012, 03:31:28 PM
Quote from: Tonker on February 10, 2012, 03:04:22 PM
I'm speechless, not least at the assertion that America is the "free-est (sic) nation the World has ever seen".  Really?  How are you measuring that, exactly, Kirk?

How the fuck did this film get made, exactly?

I remain amazed that, even after all this time, Tonker is so clueless about what makes Real America™ tick.

Jesus invented freedom in 1776. End of story.

Well, it was the end of the story. 
Then this happened.

"I use exit numbers because they tell me how many miles are left since they're based off of the molested"

J. Walter Weatherman

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Re: Monumental
« Reply #9 on: February 10, 2012, 03:48:39 PM »
Quote from: flannj on February 10, 2012, 03:32:37 PM
I didn't even know who Kirk Cameron is.

Jesus. How old are you, flannj?
Loor and I came acrossks like opatoets.

flannj

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Re: Monumental
« Reply #10 on: February 10, 2012, 04:03:34 PM »
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on February 10, 2012, 03:48:39 PM
Quote from: flannj on February 10, 2012, 03:32:37 PM
I didn't even know who Kirk Cameron is.

Jesus. How old are you, flannj?

I think it has less to do with my old age than my avoidance of pure shit TV shows.
"Not throwing my hands up or my dress above my ears don't mean I ain't awestruck." -- Al Swearengen

PenPho

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Re: Monumental
« Reply #11 on: February 10, 2012, 04:15:29 PM »
Quote from: flannj on February 10, 2012, 04:03:34 PM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on February 10, 2012, 03:48:39 PM
Quote from: flannj on February 10, 2012, 03:32:37 PM
I didn't even know who Kirk Cameron is.

Jesus. How old are you, flannj?

I think it has less to do with my old age than my avoidance of pure shit TV shows.

I'm willing to turn a blind eye to a lot of stuff around these parts, but referring to Growing Pains as "pure shit" is getting awfully close to the line, pal.  

Because 13-year old Pen's feelings about that blonde from Crocodile Dundee paled in comparison to those for Carol Seaver.

Hell, Maggie Seaver Malone too, for that matter.  

Lest we forget:

"I use exit numbers because they tell me how many miles are left since they're based off of the molested"

J. Walter Weatherman

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Re: Monumental
« Reply #12 on: February 10, 2012, 04:21:47 PM »
Quote from: flannj on February 10, 2012, 04:03:34 PM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on February 10, 2012, 03:48:39 PM
Quote from: flannj on February 10, 2012, 03:32:37 PM
I didn't even know who Kirk Cameron is.

Jesus. How old are you, flannj?

I think it has less to do with my old age than my avoidance of pure shit TV shows.

The number one sign you're old as fuck in 2012: you thought "Growing Pains" was a "pure shit TV show" in 1988.
Loor and I came acrossks like opatoets.

Chuck to Chuck

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Re: Monumental
« Reply #13 on: February 10, 2012, 08:40:23 PM »
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on February 10, 2012, 04:21:47 PM
Quote from: flannj on February 10, 2012, 04:03:34 PM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on February 10, 2012, 03:48:39 PM
Quote from: flannj on February 10, 2012, 03:32:37 PM
I didn't even know who Kirk Cameron is.

Jesus. How old are you, flannj?

I think it has less to do with my old age than my avoidance of pure shit TV shows.

The number one sign you're old as fuck in 2012: you thought "Growing Pains" was a "pure shit TV show" in 1988.

Well it was a pale ripoff of Family Ties, which ran concurrently. It wasn't hard to figure that out.

flannj

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Re: Monumental
« Reply #14 on: February 10, 2012, 10:02:36 PM »
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on February 10, 2012, 08:40:23 PM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on February 10, 2012, 04:21:47 PM
Quote from: flannj on February 10, 2012, 04:03:34 PM
Quote from: J. Walter Weatherman on February 10, 2012, 03:48:39 PM
Quote from: flannj on February 10, 2012, 03:32:37 PM
I didn't even know who Kirk Cameron is.

Jesus. How old are you, flannj?

I think it has less to do with my old age than my avoidance of pure shit TV shows.

The number one sign you're old as fuck in 2012: you thought "Growing Pains" was a "pure shit TV show" in 1988.

Well it was a pale ripoff of Family Ties, which ran concurrently. It wasn't hard to figure that out.

Cocaine's a helluva a drug...
"Not throwing my hands up or my dress above my ears don't mean I ain't awestruck." -- Al Swearengen