The really shitty thread title for the 2012 Cubs Spring Training

[Slaky]

Chris Carpenter...

to Boston for Theo.

Someone tweeted that they wanted to send Theo back because of this.

I hate our fans.

[CT III]

Chris Carpenter...

to Boston for Theo.

Someone tweeted that they wanted to send Theo back because of this.

I hate our fans.

This Epstink will never wash off.

[PANK!]

EPSTINK!

[BH]

We get a player to be named later from boston. So once we get adrian gonzalez, what do we do about that rizzo kid?

[J. Walter Weatherman]

I somehow missed Carpenter's 10-game cup of coffee last season that apparently came during that stretch from March to October when I wasn't watching baseball.

9.2 IP, 12 H, 3 ER, 1 HR, 8 K, 7 BB, 2.79 ERA, 1.966 WHIP, 145 ERA+

How could Epstink lose this guy?

MLB.com's top 20 Cubs prospects

Number 5:

After three years as a starter in the Cubs’ system, he opened eyes when he hit triple digits pitching in relief in the Arizona Fall League in 2010, and he stayed in that role in 2011, making his Major League debut last June. The life on his fastball has long been a blessing and a curse, as he’s struggled with control and command, walking 84 batters over the past two seasons. He pitched better back in the AFL, and the Cubs hope that carries over into a long-term role in their big league bullpen

But this high ranking seems like the outlier...

Fangraphs' top 15 Cubs prospects:

11. Chris Carpenter, RHP: A permanent move to the bullpen did not seem to agree with Carpenter in 2011. His completely fell apart as his command and control deserted him. One highlight to the year, though, was his MLB debut. While in The Show, he displayed a fastball that averaged out at 97 mph and a slider that sat at 89 mph. If he can find a way to control his stuff, he could dominate as a high-leverage reliever.

Minor League Ball's top 20 Cubs propects

14) Chris Carpenter, RHP, Grade C+: Power arm pitched poorly in Triple-A bullpen due to command issues but looked much better in Arizona Fall League. Dominant when his command is working.

Baseball Prospectus' top 11 Cubs prospects

14. Chris Carpenter, RHP: He still has outstanding velocity, but his command troubles and injury history are red flags.

Baseball America's top 10 Cubs prospects

Not listed.

Keith Law's top 10 Cubs prospects

Not listed.

So... The Cubs just lost a 26-year-old middle reliever with a hot fastball, command issues and an injury history. Sounds like your typical Hendry-era asshole.

(Epstink's the worst.)

[PenPho]

We get a player to be named later from boston. So once we get adrian gonzalez, what do we do about that rizzo kid?

[J. Walter Weatherman]

We get a player to be named later from boston. So once we get adrian gonzalez, what do we do about that rizzo kid?

Rizzo can follow Hoyer to wherever he winds up next after Ricketts fires him for losing Chris Carpenter to the Red Sox.

[PANK!]

We get a player to be named later from boston. So once we get adrian gonzalez, what do we do about that rizzo kid?

I'd say the guitar-playing irreverent hipster done got served there.

[BH]

We get a player to be named later from boston. So once we get adrian gonzalez, what do we do about that rizzo kid?

That picture was taken before the weight gain.

[PenPho]

It's going to be such an awesome year.

[Bort]

I'M LITERALLY ANGRY WITH RAGE.

[Armchair_QB]

I'd hate him a lot less if he was just another shitty Bears receiver.

[Internet Apex]

I'd hate him a lot less if he was just another shitty Bears receiver.

I wouldn't. If I ever once saw this doucheturret lined up opposite SANZENJESUS, there would be fucking murders. #savejaycutler

[Gilgamesh]

I'M LITERALLY ANGRY WITH RAGE.

If anyone needs Bort, he'll be in the Angry Dome.

[Armchair_QB]

I'd hate him a lot less if he was just another shitty Bears receiver.

I wouldn't. If I ever once saw this doucheturret lined up opposite SANZENJESUS, there would be fucking murders. #savejaycutler

You're Ted Lilly aren't you?