NBA Hoop Thread (Non-Fro Dog Edition)

[morpheus]

To be the best, you gotta beat the best.

[Fork]

To be the best, you gotta beat the best.

Sure, but I'd like to see that sorted by FT%.

[Eli]

To be the best, you gotta beat the best.

Sure, but I'd like to see that sorted by FT%.

Please note the parenthetical portion of the thread title.

[Internet Apex]

My sick, twisted pro-basketball soul has me rooting for Boston Against the Knicks tonight. Because, I want the Celtics to stay in the 4-hole where Miami will avoid them in the second round. And I want the Knicks to stay in the 8 spot where they'll avoid the Heat in the first round. I want the Knicks to play the Bulls because, while I think the Bulls would stop them in 5, I don't want to root against New York in the playoffs. They're like my ex. I don't love them anymore but I wish no ill will upon them and would enjoy rooting for them in those five ill-fated games. And Boston scares me, as they should any Eastern Conference fan. Even if they didn't beat Chicago or Miami they'd provide the kind of scare that a game 90s Knicks or Pacers team would to leave your team battered, bruised and exhausted for the next round. Fuck that noise.

And if the Heat plays Indiana in Round 2, I could probably score a couple tickets.

[Internet Apex]

My good friend KELLY DWYER on what last night's game really means. (SPOILER ALERT: Nothing)

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nba-ball-dont-lie/chicago-bulls-just-fine-even-though-might-big-141954253.html

Except that their last three games matter if they really care about that top seed. (SPOILER ALERT: They shouldn't.)

[Internet Apex]

Round One. Keep your hands up. Protect yourself at all times.

Bulls over Philly in 5.

Heat over Knicks in 4.

Pacers over Magic in 4.

Celtics over Hawks in 6.

---

Spurs over Jazz in 5.

Thunder over Mavs in 4.

Lakers over Nuggets in 6.

Grizz over Clippers in 7.

[PANK!]

Round One. Keep your hands up. Protect yourself at all times.

Bulls over Philly in 5.

Heat over Knicks in 4.

Pacers over Magic in 4.

Celtics over Hawks in 6.

---

Spurs over Jazz in 5.

Thunder over Mavs in 4.

Lakers over Nuggets in 6.

Grizz over Clippers in 7.

Cool story, bruh.

[Gilgamesh]

[Internet Apex]

^^^(||)

[Eli]

A+ on the execution of this .gif:

[Internet Apex]

A+ on the execution of this .gif:

That's the most amazing non-boob-related thing I've ever seen on the internet.

[Internet Apex]

First Knick playoff win since I ended my fandom. Jeff Van Gundy and I shared yet another lament over Isiah Thomas' reign of horror. It was really cute how they dropped the streamers and partied like it was 1999. Like really, super cute.

The Knicks are like an ex-girlfriend who moved in and threw out all my stuff to make room for her bullshit, made me miserable on a daily basis and capped it off by cheating on me with the sneakiest, smarmiest douchecannon I knew. Freeing myself from her was good for me and as I occaisionally checked in on her while she compounded horrible decisions with even worse choices I felt no remorse at having ended it. But there are days like yesterday when she showed up looking like she did when we first met, when all I wanted was to be next to her and she tantalized me with promises of love, happiness and amazing secks.

But alas. That bitch be crazy. Namaste.

[Richard Chuggar]

First Knick playoff win since I ended my fandom. Jeff Van Gundy and I shared yet another lament over Isiah Thomas' reign of horror. It was really cute how they dropped the streamers and partied like it was 1999. Like really, super cute.

The Knicks are like an ex-girlfriend who moved in and threw out all my stuff to make room for her bullshit, made me miserable on a daily basis and capped it off by cheating on me with the sneakiest, smarmiest douchecannon I knew. Freeing myself from her was good for me and as I occaisionally checked in on her while she compounded horrible decisions with even worse choices I felt no remorse at having ended it. But there are days like yesterday when she showed up looking like she did when we first met, when all I wanted was to be next to her and she tantalized me with promises of love, happiness and amazing secks.

But alas. That bitch be crazy. Namaste.

i'm assuming you're talking about jeremy lin

[PANK!]

Someone puts a whole hell of alot of thought into their fandom, such as it is.

[Eli]

First Knick playoff win since I ended my fandom. Jeff Van Gundy and I shared yet another lament over Isiah Thomas' reign of horror. It was really cute how they dropped the streamers and partied like it was 1999. Like really, super cute.

The Knicks are like an ex-girlfriend who moved in and threw out all my stuff to make room for her bullshit, made me miserable on a daily basis and capped it off by cheating on me with the sneakiest, smarmiest douchecannon I knew. Freeing myself from her was good for me and as I occaisionally checked in on her while she compounded horrible decisions with even worse choices I felt no remorse at having ended it. But there are days like yesterday when she showed up looking like she did when we first met, when all I wanted was to be next to her and she tantalized me with promises of love, happiness and amazing secks.

But alas. That bitch be crazy. Namaste.

And now you're a Heat fan. Which is presumably like paying to a date a hooker. You convince yourself there's a connection and parade her around to your friends, but everyone knows you didn't do anything to earn it and you're making everyone around you sad.