2012 Chicago Cubs

[Brownie]

My guess is that Soriano will be released this offseason (or maybe earlier) if he can't be traded in July for something slightly better than nothing. So I don't have any beef with letting him play for another 6 weeks or so on the 2% chance he continues to hit and convinces some mongoloid GM to trade for him. At this point it's as enjoyable to see Slaky's retweets of Rizzo's mammoth PCL blasts as it is to watch the actual Cubs. The sooner they call him up, the sooner that will be taken away from me and Rizzo and all of us will be dongslapped in the face with the cold reality of MLB pitching.

Or, Theo can put him on irrevocable waivers and hope some GM puts a claim on him out of fear that a divisional opponent like Detroit or Cleveland would grab him. Then again, no one's is that dumb, right?

[Internet Apex]

Ice-cold yangwhip. Horrifying.

[BH]

Rizzo is great at hitting right handed pitching, he's awful at left handed pitching.

Vs. Lefties: .298/353/.574/.927 with 4 of his 14 homers. (29% of his homers in 30% of his at bats)

Well, he may be awful, but he's not awful, awful.

You're right, he really must have picked up it since May 9th, when he was hitting .257/.297/.429 vs. LHPs, 11 Ks in 35 AB

[Powdered Toast Man]

My guess is that Soriano will be released this offseason (or maybe earlier) if he can't be traded in July for something slightly better than nothing. So I don't have any beef with letting him play for another 6 weeks or so on the 2% chance he continues to hit and convinces some mongoloid GM to trade for him. At this point it's as enjoyable to see Slaky's retweets of Rizzo's mammoth PCL blasts as it is to watch the actual Cubs. The sooner they call him up, the sooner that will be taken away from me and Rizzo and all of us will be dongslapped in the face with the cold reality of MLB pitching.

Wait, someone is tweeting Rizzo's bombs?!?

[Slaky]

My guess is that Soriano will be released this offseason (or maybe earlier) if he can't be traded in July for something slightly better than nothing. So I don't have any beef with letting him play for another 6 weeks or so on the 2% chance he continues to hit and convinces some mongoloid GM to trade for him. At this point it's as enjoyable to see Slaky's retweets of Rizzo's mammoth PCL blasts as it is to watch the actual Cubs. The sooner they call him up, the sooner that will be taken away from me and Rizzo and all of us will be dongslapped in the face with the cold reality of MLB pitching.

Wait, someone is tweeting Rizzo's bombs?!?

Surprisingly it's the I-Cubs official Twitter account.

[Powdered Toast Man]

My guess is that Soriano will be released this offseason (or maybe earlier) if he can't be traded in July for something slightly better than nothing. So I don't have any beef with letting him play for another 6 weeks or so on the 2% chance he continues to hit and convinces some mongoloid GM to trade for him. At this point it's as enjoyable to see Slaky's retweets of Rizzo's mammoth PCL blasts as it is to watch the actual Cubs. The sooner they call him up, the sooner that will be taken away from me and Rizzo and all of us will be dongslapped in the face with the cold reality of MLB pitching.

Wait, someone is tweeting Rizzo's bombs?!?

Surprisingly it's the I-Cubs official Twitter account.

What a time to be alive.

[Fork]

My guess is that Soriano will be released this offseason (or maybe earlier) if he can't be traded in July for something slightly better than nothing. So I don't have any beef with letting him play for another 6 weeks or so on the 2% chance he continues to hit and convinces some mongoloid GM to trade for him. At this point it's as enjoyable to see Slaky's retweets of Rizzo's mammoth PCL blasts as it is to watch the actual Cubs. The sooner they call him up, the sooner that will be taken away from me and Rizzo and all of us will be dongslapped in the face with the cold reality of MLB pitching.

Wait, someone is tweeting Rizzo's bombs?!?

Surprisingly it's the I-Cubs official Twitter account.

What a time to be alive.

The I-Cubs also have a decent iPhone app, which is more than you can say for the Chicago Cubs.

Nice going, Epstink.

[Sterling Archer]

My guess is that Soriano will be released this offseason (or maybe earlier) if he can't be traded in July for something slightly better than nothing. So I don't have any beef with letting him play for another 6 weeks or so on the 2% chance he continues to hit and convinces some mongoloid GM to trade for him. At this point it's as enjoyable to see Slaky's retweets of Rizzo's mammoth PCL blasts as it is to watch the actual Cubs. The sooner they call him up, the sooner that will be taken away from me and Rizzo and all of us will be dongslapped in the face with the cold reality of MLB pitching.

Wait, someone is tweeting Rizzo's bombs?!?

Surprisingly it's the I-Cubs official Twitter account.

What a time to be alive.

The I-Cubs also have a decent iPhone app, which is more than you can say for the Chicago Cubs.

Nice going, Epstink.

Why would they make their own app when At Bat is already out there? Wait, I get it. DAMN YOU EPSTINK

[Fork]

My guess is that Soriano will be released this offseason (or maybe earlier) if he can't be traded in July for something slightly better than nothing. So I don't have any beef with letting him play for another 6 weeks or so on the 2% chance he continues to hit and convinces some mongoloid GM to trade for him. At this point it's as enjoyable to see Slaky's retweets of Rizzo's mammoth PCL blasts as it is to watch the actual Cubs. The sooner they call him up, the sooner that will be taken away from me and Rizzo and all of us will be dongslapped in the face with the cold reality of MLB pitching.

Wait, someone is tweeting Rizzo's bombs?!?

Surprisingly it's the I-Cubs official Twitter account.

What a time to be alive.

The I-Cubs also have a decent iPhone app, which is more than you can say for the Chicago Cubs.

Nice going, Epstink.

Why would they make their own app when At Bat is already out there? Wait, I get it. DAMN YOU EPSTINK

My bad. MLB has forbade teams from launching their own apps.

[CubFaninHydePark]

Were it up to me, I'd keep Rizzo down just because I don't really see where he plays.

Eli is right: Barney is cheap and should be playing. He's not the reason the team sucks and since they do suck, why move him around? I don't like Barney on a contending team either but he isn't killing the Cubs.

I just don't get bringing up Rizzo unless there's a significant injury to LaHair or Soriano.

But, if they suck, why not let Rizzo face some major league pitching?  Who gives a fuck where Soriano plays or not plays?

I don't hate Barney but I am completely indifferent towards him.  If he's the starting 2B in 2014 (or next year if you're under the mindset that there's little reason The Cubs shouldn't compete in 2013), then fuck Jed Hoyer with Theo Epstink's dickstink.  Or something.

I for one do not give a fuck where Soriano not plays.

To channel my inner-Chuck (which is an oxymoron, because it's hollow and empty...nothing "inner" about it), I remember blasting the move at the time and being told it was good because the Cubs signed the "best" free agent on the market and at least "did something."

I'm just glad we have Epstink and not that thinking any longer as GM.

[PANK!]

Hey at least they had a lead last night!

[Powdered Toast Man]

Hey at least they had a lead last night!

I didn't have high expectations at all for the Cubs this year, but one of the loftly goals I thought they'd achieve was being better than Houston.  I am wrong so far.

[Internet Apex]

Hey at least they had a lead last night!

I didn't have high expectations at all for the Cubs this year, but one of the loftly goals I thought they'd achieve was being better than Houston.  I am wrong so far.

The good news is they won't have to worry about finishing behind them for very much longer.

[Slaky]

I'm just glad there won't be any ambiguity come June about where the Cubs are headed. By then they should be a good 30 games under and ready to sell the shit out of anyone with value.

That's going to be fun.

[morpheus]

Hey at least they had a lead last night!

I didn't have high expectations at all for the Cubs this year, but one of the loftly goals I thought they'd achieve was being better than Houston.  I am wrong so far.

The good news is they won't have to worry about finishing behind them for very much longer.

(||)