2012 Chicago Cubs

[Eli]

Let's ignore the fact that this unicycle pedalling paragon to Northside asshattery has managed to pitch the Cubs out of the playoffs in two seperate seasons ...

Apparently you're counting his one scoreless mop-up inning in 2007 as pitching the Cubs out of the playoffs?

[Yeti]

Seems like everyone hates Dempster but I actually don't.

He likes to do impressions and that outweighs being an outstanding starter for 3 of the last 4 years. It's simple math.

Good point.  Let's ignore the fact that this unicycle pedalling paragon to Northside asshattery has managed to pitch the Cubs out of the playoffs in two seperate seasons because he's had a whopping three  really good regular seasons.

Yay?  

*rolls eyes*

Fuck him.

No, fuck you, spudslut.
I'm with Eli and Slaky here

[Bort]

You statfags will never take my hate away from me.

Fuck Dempster on principle.

[Eli]

Seems like everyone hates Dempster but I actually don't.

He likes to do impressions and that outweighs being an outstanding starter for 3 of the last 4 years. It's simple math.

Good point.  Let's ignore the fact that this unicycle pedalling paragon to Northside asshattery has managed to pitch the Cubs out of the playoffs in two seperate seasons because he's had a whopping three  really good regular seasons.

Yay?  

*rolls eyes*

Fuck him.

When was the second time he pitched the Cubs out of the playoffs?

[Richard Chuggar]

Seems like everyone hates Dempster but I actually don't.

He likes to do impressions and that outweighs being an outstanding starter for 3 of the last 4 years. It's simple math.

Good point.  Let's ignore the fact that this unicycle pedalling paragon to Northside asshattery has managed to pitch the Cubs out of the playoffs in two seperate seasons because he's had a whopping three  really good regular seasons.

Yay?  

*rolls eyes*

Fuck him.

When was the second time he pitched the Cubs out of the playoffs?

Right after the first time

[Tonker]

I've got a strong distaste for Darwin Barney already. If he continues to be a bitch hitter all season with his empty .290 batting average I'll continue hating his guts.

If Samardzija stumbles he'll be a real easy target.

Seems like everyone hates Dempster but I actually don't.

THI.  Barney sucks and the minute he starts getting all Theriot about it he's going to get both barrels from me.

In addition to not having a particular problem with Dempster, though, I'm not nearly as down on Samardzija as most, either.  What can I tell you?  I guess I'm just a warm-hearted kind of bloke.

[Brownie]

Seems like everyone hates Dempster but I actually don't.

He likes to do impressions and that outweighs being an outstanding starter for 3 of the last 4 years. It's simple math.

Good point.  Let's ignore the fact that this unicycle pedalling paragon to Northside asshattery has managed to pitch the Cubs out of the playoffs in two seperate seasons because he's had a whopping three  really good regular seasons.

Yay?  

*rolls eyes*

Fuck him.

When was the second time he pitched the Cubs out of the playoffs?

Well, 2008 was actually the second time.

Warning: Clicking on these links could traumatize sensitive Desipiots. Please use discretion.

Remember this?

Make it stop!

Back to the Cubs, you can spend today making a lovely LaTroy la-effigy. The Victor Diaz homer on Saturday is the ultimate “Oh s@#$” moment of the 2004 season (we hope–let’s not top it). What made the whole thing absurd is that Ryan Dempster had to walk two bums just to get LaTroy into the game. Hawkins was pitching for the sixth time in seven days and you knew something bad was going to happen. Then, Diaz hit it and didn’t think he hit it out. That’s even more fun.

[Eli]

Well, 2008 was actually the second time.

I admit I had blocked the Diaz home run from my brain entirely.

That said, I still don't have a problem with Dempster, either as a pitcher or a hacky amateur comedian.

[PANK!]

Thanks, TJ.

And Victor Diaz is directly on LaFirestarter's head, though Dempster gets an assist.  But no--the names to recall if you're looking to chronicle Dempstar's FAIL-riddled career is not Victor Diaz so much as Eric Valent and Jason Phillips.

Eric Valent and Jason Phillips.

And then we let this shitbird back into our good graces and he pitches well in 2008, only to repeat the offense in the LDS.  Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, then fuck Ryan Dempster sideways with a CFL goalpost.

(And let's not even get started on last year's Opening Day.  You guys are awfully forgiving of such big-game munsonry)

I admit I had blocked the Diaz home run from my brain entirely.

WELL I'M HERE TO REMIND YOU.

[Internet Apex]

Well, 2008 was actually the second time.

I admit I had blocked the Diaz home run from my brain entirely.

That said, I still don't have a problem with Dempster, either as a pitcher or a hacky amateur comedian.

If he weren't so overpaid, he'd have been eminently tradeable during the past two seasons when the Cubs needed to move people and bring back talent. But no. Every fifth day, that cock gobbler was still fucking here. Plus he's 10 & 5 and though I don't know him personally I'd bet my car that he'd block a trade because he loves it here.

[Slaky]

Thanks, TJ.

And Victor Diaz is directly on LaFirestarter's head, though Dempster gets an assist.  But no--the names to recall if you're looking to chronicle Dempstar's FAIL-riddled career is not Victor Diaz so much as Eric Valent and Jason Phillips.

Eric Valent and Jason Phillips.

And then we let this shitbird back into our good graces and he pitches well in 2008, only to repeat the offense in the LDS.  Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, then fuck Ryan Dempster sideways with a CFL goalpost.

(And let's not even get started on last year's Opening Day.  You guys are awfully forgiving of such big-game munsonry)

I admit I had blocked the Diaz home run from my brain entirely.

WELL I'M HERE TO REMIND YOU.

After last year's Opening Day Debacle, I just knew the Cubs were headed for a rough season.

[PANK!]

Well, 2008 was actually the second time.

I admit I had blocked the Diaz home run from my brain entirely.

That said, I still don't have a problem with Dempster, either as a pitcher or a hacky amateur comedian.

If he weren't so overpaid, he'd have been eminently tradeable during the past two seasons when the Cubs needed to move people and bring back talent. But no. Every fifth day, that cock gobbler was still fucking here. Plus he's 10 & 5 and though I don't know him personally I'd bet my car that he'd block a trade because he loves it here.

That's sort of the ticket, actually.  I mean I can't begrudge a guy who loves living and working in this town, but for chrissakes throw the goddamn ball over the plate when we really need you to.  Pretty fucking please?  And if he won't, can he at least just leave town and relieve us of our suffering (Except for Eli, Slaky, Yeti and Tonker, who are totally gay for Dempster)?

[PANK!]

Thanks, TJ.

And Victor Diaz is directly on LaFirestarter's head, though Dempster gets an assist.  But no--the names to recall if you're looking to chronicle Dempstar's FAIL-riddled career is not Victor Diaz so much as Eric Valent and Jason Phillips.

Eric Valent and Jason Phillips.

And then we let this shitbird back into our good graces and he pitches well in 2008, only to repeat the offense in the LDS.  Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, then fuck Ryan Dempster sideways with a CFL goalpost.

(And let's not even get started on last year's Opening Day.  You guys are awfully forgiving of such big-game munsonry)

I admit I had blocked the Diaz home run from my brain entirely.

WELL I'M HERE TO REMIND YOU.

After last year's Opening Day Debacle, I just knew the Cubs were headed for a rough season.

Really, my point is that Opening Day--though as meaningless as the other 161 games in a 95 loss season-- is still considered a "Big Game" and that motherfucker did the exact same thing he did against the Dodgers four years earlier.  Jesus--where' the hate?!?!

Seriously, not that it matters--but why isn't Garza pitching the Opener anyway?  Pretty sure by every pitching metric he's better. This will probably be like the only game I ened up going to all year and I have to watch this hapless clown again?

[Internet Apex]

Thanks, TJ.

And Victor Diaz is directly on LaFirestarter's head, though Dempster gets an assist.  But no--the names to recall if you're looking to chronicle Dempstar's FAIL-riddled career is not Victor Diaz so much as Eric Valent and Jason Phillips.

Eric Valent and Jason Phillips.

And then we let this shitbird back into our good graces and he pitches well in 2008, only to repeat the offense in the LDS.  Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, then fuck Ryan Dempster sideways with a CFL goalpost.

(And let's not even get started on last year's Opening Day.  You guys are awfully forgiving of such big-game munsonry)

I admit I had blocked the Diaz home run from my brain entirely.

WELL I'M HERE TO REMIND YOU.

After last year's Opening Day Debacle, I just knew the Cubs were headed for a rough season.

Really, my point is that Opening Day--though as meaningless as the other 161 games in a 95 loss season-- is still considered a "Big Game" and that motherfucker did the exact same thing he did against the Dodgers four years earlier.  Jesus--where' the hate?!?!

Seriously, not that it matters--but why isn't Garza pitching the Opener anyway?  Pretty sure by every pitching metric he's better. This will probably be like the only game I ened up going to all year and I have to watch this hapless clown again?

He also sort of looks like Murton. In the hair area. But after reading Huey's latest rant, I hope he pitches a shutout just so Mikey has to sit there and eat a Nacho Helmet full of FYH's in the cold, dreary slop. Then I hope he gets traded immediately after. And cries.

[PANK!]

Thanks, TJ.

And Victor Diaz is directly on LaFirestarter's head, though Dempster gets an assist.  But no--the names to recall if you're looking to chronicle Dempstar's FAIL-riddled career is not Victor Diaz so much as Eric Valent and Jason Phillips.

Eric Valent and Jason Phillips.

And then we let this shitbird back into our good graces and he pitches well in 2008, only to repeat the offense in the LDS.  Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, then fuck Ryan Dempster sideways with a CFL goalpost.

(And let's not even get started on last year's Opening Day.  You guys are awfully forgiving of such big-game munsonry)

I admit I had blocked the Diaz home run from my brain entirely.

WELL I'M HERE TO REMIND YOU.

After last year's Opening Day Debacle, I just knew the Cubs were headed for a rough season.

Really, my point is that Opening Day--though as meaningless as the other 161 games in a 95 loss season-- is still considered a "Big Game" and that motherfucker did the exact same thing he did against the Dodgers four years earlier.  Jesus--where' the hate?!?!

Seriously, not that it matters--but why isn't Garza pitching the Opener anyway?  Pretty sure by every pitching metric he's better. This will probably be like the only game I ened up going to all year and I have to watch this hapless clown again?

He also sort of looks like Murton. In the hair area. But after reading Huey's latest rant, I hope he pitches a shutout just so Mikey has to sit there and eat a Nacho Helmet full of FYH's in the cold, dreary slop. Then I hope he gets traded immediately after. And cries.

I don't really have much trade value, but if you ship me to BCB I'm retiring.