2012 Chicago Cubs

[CT III]

Thanks, TJ.

And Victor Diaz is directly on LaFirestarter's head, though Dempster gets an assist.  But no--the names to recall if you're looking to chronicle Dempstar's FAIL-riddled career is not Victor Diaz so much as Eric Valent and Jason Phillips.

Eric Valent and Jason Phillips.

And then we let this shitbird back into our good graces and he pitches well in 2008, only to repeat the offense in the LDS.  Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, then fuck Ryan Dempster sideways with a CFL goalpost.

(And let's not even get started on last year's Opening Day.  You guys are awfully forgiving of such big-game munsonry)

I admit I had blocked the Diaz home run from my brain entirely.

WELL I'M HERE TO REMIND YOU.

After last year's Opening Day Debacle, I just knew the Cubs were headed for a rough season.

Really, my point is that Opening Day--though as meaningless as the other 161 games in a 95 loss season-- is still considered a "Big Game" and that motherfucker did the exact same thing he did against the Dodgers four years earlier.  Jesus--where' the hate?!?!

Seriously, not that it matters--but why isn't Garza pitching the Opener anyway?  Pretty sure by every pitching metric he's better. This will probably be like the only game I ened up going to all year and I have to watch this hapless clown again?

He also sort of looks like Murton. In the hair area. But after reading Huey's latest rant, I hope he pitches a shutout just so Mikey has to sit there and eat a Nacho Helmet full of FYH's in the cold, dreary slop. Then I hope he gets traded immediately after. And cries.

I don't really have much trade value, but if you ship me to BCB I'm retiring.

You're the long awaited player to be named later in the Tonker to NSBB deal.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

I mean I can't begrudge a guy who loves living and working in this town, but for chrissakes throw the goddamn ball over the plate when we really need you to.  Pretty fucking please?

Really, my point is that Opening Day--though as meaningless as the other 161 games in a 95 loss season-- is still considered a "Big Game" and that motherfucker did the exact same thing he did against the Dodgers four years earlier.  Jesus--where' the hate?!?!

That's some A-plus Huey right there, guys.

[Yeti]

Fro days "When it matters the most"

Huey says "When we really need you to"

Has anyone seen the two of them together?

[Internet Apex]

My Dempster dislike makes me feel like a common Chuck. He's a good pitcher on my favorite team. He was just overpaid and annoying in the face.

[Eli]

Except for Eli, Slaky, Yeti and Tonker, who are totally gay for Dempster)?

If I win the MegaMillions jackpot, I'm buying the Royals and forcing Dayton Moore to trade for Dempster so he can move to Kansas City and we can start an improv duo together.

[PANK!]

Fro days "When it matters the most"

Huey says "When we really need you to"

Has anyone seen the two of them together?

You really want to go there, Tubby McMapletree?

[Yeti]

Fro days "When it matters the most"

Huey says "When we really need you to"

Has anyone seen the two of them together?

You really want to go there, Tubby McMapletree?

Well, didn't I already?

[Tinker to Evers to Chance]

I don't get why we should hate Dempster for being overpaid instead of the guy who offered him the contract.

What was he supposed to say?

"Oh, no.  You can't pay me that much.  There's no way I'm going to be worth $14 mil in 2012.  When you want to sign me for much less than that, I'll believe you're serious about keeping me around."

[Eli]

What was he supposed to say?

Wocka wocka?

[Internet Apex]

I don't get why we should hate Dempster for being overpaid instead of the guy who offered him the contract.

What was he supposed to say?

"Oh, no.  You can't pay me that much.  There's no way I'm going to be worth $14 mil in 2012.  When you want to sign me for much less than that, I'll believe you're serious about keeping me around."

I didn't say I didn't hate the guy who offered him the contract too. But the guy who did that isn't around anymore.

[PANK!]

I will not rest until all of you hate Ryan Dempster from the depths of your ever-loving souls.  Get on it!

[J. Walter Weatherman]

What was he supposed to say?

Wocka wocka?

Woozle wuzzle?

[PenPho]

Not only do I not hate Ryan Dempster, I don't even think he's overpaid. 

It boggles my mind that some of the people who would have taken a bullet for Zambrano are first in line to shoot one at Dempster.

[Chuck to Chuck]

Not only do I not hate Ryan Dempster, I don't even think he's overpaid. 

It boggles my mind that some of the people who would have taken a bullet for Zambrano are first in line to shoot one at Dempster.

Maybe if Ryan had decked Barrett...

[Eli]

It boggles my mind that some of the people who would have taken a bullet for Zambrano are first in line to shoot one at Dempster.

It seems like people have an issue with Dempster because he's had some failures in big situations. Zambrano's excellent career postseason line and history of strong Opening Day starts are probably what's earning him some leeway.