2012 Chicago Cubs

[Tinker to Evers to Chance]

I meant to embolden Snork and ask Gil, "O RLY" but then saw a dog with a fluffy tail or something.

It was mostly me being cheeky, but isn't he a FA after the season?

Not until after 2015.

Sweet Jesus!

NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Look on the bright side.  You don't have to find a new player to hate until then.

[Bort]

I meant to embolden Snork and ask Gil, "O RLY" but then saw a dog with a fluffy tail or something.

It was mostly me being cheeky, but isn't he a FA after the season?

Not until after 2015.

Sweet Jesus!

NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Look on the bright side.  You don't have to find a new player to hate until then.

True. I have time to become the best darn Snork-hater I can be.

[Eli]

After three starts, Ryan Dempster has a 1.33 ERA, 0.93 WHIP and 23 Ks in 20 IP.

BUT NO WINS.

I see why people hate the guy now. Put down the rubber chicken and win a game, for crying out loud.

[Internet Apex]

After three starts, Ryan Dempster has a 1.33 ERA, 0.93 WHIP and 23 Ks in 20 IP.

BUT NO WINS.

I see why people hate the guy now. Put down the rubber chicken and win a game, for crying out loud.

Don't hate the player. Hate the game. Or something.

[Slaky]

After three starts, Ryan Dempster has a 1.33 ERA, 0.93 WHIP and 23 Ks in 20 IP.

BUT NO WINS.

I see why people hate the guy now. Put down the rubber chicken and win a game, for crying out loud.

HE SUCKS THERE WAS A FEW TIMES HE WALKED A GUY OR TWO AND THEN GAVE UP A HIT FUCK HIM.

[PANK!]

After three starts, Ryan Dempster has a 1.33 ERA, 0.93 WHIP and 23 Ks in 20 IP.

BUT NO WINS.

I see why people hate the guy now. Put down the rubber chicken and win a game, for crying out loud.

I'm thrilled as fuck that he's got no wins.  If I had any expectations for ths year's team, I'd feel differently but fuck him hard until he leaves town and then fuck him more until his repeat ball-crushing disappointments are erased from my memory.  That's all I ask.

You don't expect me to change my mind on this putz I hope, Eli?

[PANK!]

After three starts, Ryan Dempster has a 1.33 ERA, 0.93 WHIP and 23 Ks in 20 IP.

BUT NO WINS.

I see why people hate the guy now. Put down the rubber chicken and win a game, for crying out loud.

HE SUCKS THERE WAS A FEW TIMES HE WALKED A GUY OR TWO AND THEN GAVE UP A HIT FUCK HIM.

You're missing a few typos but otherwise I like the cut of your gib.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

After three starts, Ryan Dempster has a 1.33 ERA, 0.93 WHIP and 23 Ks in 20 IP.

BUT NO WINS.

I see why people hate the guy now. Put down the rubber chicken and win a game, for crying out loud.

I'm thrilled as fuck that he's got no wins.  If I had any expectations for ths year's team, I'd feel differently but fuck him hard until he leaves town and then fuck him more until his repeat ball-crushing disappointments are erased from my memory.  That's all I ask.

You don't expect me to change my mind on this putz I hope, Eli?

GO TEAM DEMPSTER!

[J. Walter Weatherman]

You don't expect me to change my mind on this putz I hope, Eli?

We only hope that you succeed in your quest to shed your totally unfair reputation for being a meatball.

[PANK!]

You don't expect me to change my mind on this putz I hope, Eli?

We only hope that you succeed in your quest to shed your totally unfair reputation for being a meatball.

Hey I'm not the one goin 'all-NBA about how the NHL wants Phoenix to win because they own the team.

[PANK!]

To be honest, I don't know why Eli has mystifyingly made it his mission to stick up for a good #2 or #3 pitcher on a crappy team to the 5% of us crazy fucks who for our own perplexing reasons hate him with every red blood cell in our bodies (as opposed to the overall adulation that the guy generally receives from the fans and media in Chicago.)  Is it really worth your time?  Jesus, leave me to my HATRED will ya?  It's all I got. 

[Tinker to Evers to Chance]

To be honest, I don't know why Eli has mystifyingly made it his mission to stick up for a good #2 or #3 pitcher on a crappy team to the 5% of us crazy fucks who for our own perplexing reasons hate him with every red blood cell in our bodies (as opposed to the overall adulation that the guy generally receives from the fans and media in Chicago.)  Is it really worth your time?  Jesus, leave me to my HATRED will ya?  It's all I got. 

We need something to care about this season.  Might as well make it a feud over Dempster.

I think you're just asshurt because you're on the losing side.

[PANK!]

To be honest, I don't know why Eli has mystifyingly made it his mission to stick up for a good #2 or #3 pitcher on a crappy team to the 5% of us crazy fucks who for our own perplexing reasons hate him with every red blood cell in our bodies (as opposed to the overall adulation that the guy generally receives from the fans and media in Chicago.)  Is it really worth your time?  Jesus, leave me to my HATRED will ya?  It's all I got. 

We need something to care about this season.  Might as well make it a feud over Dempster.

I think you're just asshurt because you're on the losing side.

If hating Ryan Dempster is wrong, I don't want to be right. 

[J. Walter Weatherman]

To be honest, I don't know why Eli has mystifyingly made it his mission to stick up for a good #2 or #3 pitcher on a crappy team to the 5% of us crazy fucks who for our own perplexing reasons hate him with every red blood cell in our bodies (as opposed to the overall adulation that the guy generally receives from the fans and media in Chicago.)

Eli does have a long track record of insisting that people judge baseball players rationally according to said players' actual performance as baseball players for some reason.

Which is to say, a long track record of being a fag.

[PANK!]

To be honest, I don't know why Eli has mystifyingly made it his mission to stick up for a good #2 or #3 pitcher on a crappy team to the 5% of us crazy fucks who for our own perplexing reasons hate him with every red blood cell in our bodies (as opposed to the overall adulation that the guy generally receives from the fans and media in Chicago.)

Eli does have a long track record of insisting that people judge baseball players rationally according to said players' actual performance as baseball players for some reason.

Which is to say, a long track record of being a fag.

Fine.  But he also loves him some prospects, because he's such a SABERHOMO.  In that case, I'll patiently await his entrance to the righteous, correct side (and greet him warmly) after Dempster uses his 5-and-10 status to block a deal for a decent future consideration (I mean, based on the NUMBERS, his value's gotta be pretty decent right now, right?) because gosh he loves living in Chicago so much and would just prefer to ride out here.