Bearbonnais 2012: Emstink is Wonderful.

[Internet Apex]

Who stays? Who goes? Who starts? Who blows?

We're about three weeks away from camp opening but there are already some discussions to be had about this Bears team. Will they lose a game? Will they be scored on in the playoffs? How many points will they win the Super Bowl by?

And which white guy will be the most beloved member of the practice squad?

I can't fucking wait. So: TIME TO POST!

[Sterling Archer]

Shea McClellin's march to 25 sacks, Brandon Marshall's road to 30 TDs, and Jake Utler's path to shoving a championship down the haters' throats has begun. Not to mention MVP-caliber seasons from Peppers, Urlacher, Forte, Briggs, and Chicagoland Educator of the Year Peanut Tillman. SUPER BEARS SUPER BOWE

[SKO]

Who stays? Who goes? Who starts? Who blows?

We're about three weeks away from camp opening but there are already some discussions to be had about this Bears team. Will they lose a game? Will they be scored on in the playoffs? How many points will they win the Super Bowl by?

And which white guy will be the most beloved member of the practice squad?

I can't fucking wait. So: TIME TO POST!

The best part is going to be the meatball rage when Sanzenfucker gets cut.

[SKO]

Bears acquired Brian Price, DT, from the Bucs for a conditional pick. 2010 second round pick. Started 14 games last year and had 3 sacks. Not sure why the Bucs would give him away for a pittance, but this is another good depth move by Emery. I don't really see where this could be a bad trade even if he gets hurt again, since they gave up practically nothing for him and they're not counting on him to start. That didn't stop idiots on PFT from bitching about the Bears trading for a defensive lineman from Tampa since Gaines Adams worked out so well. Because you can naturally assume there's a good chance Price is just going to fucking die.

[PANK!]

At no time in the nearly 100 year history of this franchise have they had top talent at QB, WR and RB at the same time.  The fact that they have depth at these positions (well, we'll see about WR--hopefully it doesn't matter) makes it even more awesomer.  Splooge.

[Internet Apex]

Bears acquired Brian Price, DT, from the Bucs for a conditional pick. 2010 second round pick. Started 14 games last year and had 3 sacks. Not sure why the Bucs would give him away for a pittance, but this is another good depth move by Emery. I don't really see where this could be a bad trade even if he gets hurt again, since they gave up practically nothing for him and they're not counting on him to start. That didn't stop idiots on PFT from bitching about the Bears trading for a defensive lineman from Tampa since Gaines Adams worked out so well. Because you can naturally assume there's a good chance Price is just going to fucking die.

Zach Zaidman claimed that Price was a deeply-troubled man who recently punched Tampa's No. 1 pick in the face. If he turns out to be a rotation-worthy DL, that punch will be remembered fondly in these parts. (points to man parts)

[CT III]

Bears acquired Brian Price, DT, from the Bucs for a conditional pick. 2010 second round pick. Started 14 games last year and had 3 sacks. Not sure why the Bucs would give him away for a pittance, but this is another good depth move by Emery. I don't really see where this could be a bad trade even if he gets hurt again, since they gave up practically nothing for him and they're not counting on him to start. That didn't stop idiots on PFT from bitching about the Bears trading for a defensive lineman from Tampa since Gaines Adams worked out so well. Because you can naturally assume there's a good chance Price is just going to fucking die.

Zach Zaidman claimed that Price was a deeply-troubled man who recently punched Tampa's No. 1 pick in the face. If he turns out to be a rotation-worthy DL, that punch will be remembered fondly in these parts. (points to man parts)

Finally, we have somebody to replace what we lost when Olin Kreutz and his Magic Murderbag of leadership was jettisoned.

[R-V]

Bears acquired Brian Price, DT, from the Bucs for a conditional pick. 2010 second round pick. Started 14 games last year and had 3 sacks. Not sure why the Bucs would give him away for a pittance, but this is another good depth move by Emery. I don't really see where this could be a bad trade even if he gets hurt again, since they gave up practically nothing for him and they're not counting on him to start. That didn't stop idiots on PFT from bitching about the Bears trading for a defensive lineman from Tampa since Gaines Adams worked out so well. Because you can naturally assume there's a good chance Price is just going to fucking die.

Zach Zaidman claimed that Price was a deeply-troubled man who recently punched Tampa's No. 1 pick in the face. If he turns out to be a rotation-worthy DL, that punch will be remembered fondly in these parts. (points to man parts)

Finally, we have somebody to replace what we lost when Olin Kreutz and his Magic Murderbag of leadership was jettisoned.

Jog my memory on the shooting range party...didn't Fred Miller throw a giant weight at Olin's face?

[Brownie]

Bears acquired Brian Price, DT, from the Bucs for a conditional pick. 2010 second round pick. Started 14 games last year and had 3 sacks. Not sure why the Bucs would give him away for a pittance, but this is another good depth move by Emery. I don't really see where this could be a bad trade even if he gets hurt again, since they gave up practically nothing for him and they're not counting on him to start. That didn't stop idiots on PFT from bitching about the Bears trading for a defensive lineman from Tampa since Gaines Adams worked out so well. Because you can naturally assume there's a good chance Price is just going to fucking die.

Zach Zaidman claimed that Price was a deeply-troubled man who recently punched Tampa's No. 1 pick in the face. If he turns out to be a rotation-worthy DL, that punch will be remembered fondly in these parts. (points to man parts)

Finally, we have somebody to replace what we lost when Olin Kreutz and his Magic Murderbag of leadership was jettisoned.

Jog my memory on the shooting range party...didn't Fred Miller throw a giant weight at Olin's face?

Olin was a bit of a loose cannon, who once got in a fight with the great PED-aided Jim Miller in 2000 or 2001, attempting to extricate on of Miller's fingers with his teeth. Later, he and Miller, who were actually friends, got into another argument and Kreutz responded by leaving the building they were in, going to the trunk of his car, grabbing a long iron, and taking it to Miller's brand-new, off-the-lot Mercedes.

So he's like Carlos Zambrano with a Hawaiian accent. Except Carlos would probably have been a more devastating center if he wasn't moved up to QB on the depth chart.

[Internet Apex]

Bears acquired Brian Price, DT, from the Bucs for a conditional pick. 2010 second round pick. Started 14 games last year and had 3 sacks. Not sure why the Bucs would give him away for a pittance, but this is another good depth move by Emery. I don't really see where this could be a bad trade even if he gets hurt again, since they gave up practically nothing for him and they're not counting on him to start. That didn't stop idiots on PFT from bitching about the Bears trading for a defensive lineman from Tampa since Gaines Adams worked out so well. Because you can naturally assume there's a good chance Price is just going to fucking die.

Zach Zaidman claimed that Price was a deeply-troubled man who recently punched Tampa's No. 1 pick in the face. If he turns out to be a rotation-worthy DL, that punch will be remembered fondly in these parts. (points to man parts)

Finally, we have somebody to replace what we lost when Olin Kreutz and his Magic Murderbag of leadership was jettisoned.

Jog my memory on the shooting range party...didn't Fred Miller throw a giant weight at Olin's face?

Olin was a bit of a loose cannon, who once got in a fight with the great PED-aided Jim Miller in 2000 or 2001, attempting to extricate on of Miller's fingers with his teeth. Later, he and Miller, who were actually friends, got into another argument and Kreutz responded by leaving the building they were in, going to the trunk of his car, grabbing a long iron, and taking it to Miller's brand-new, off-the-lot Mercedes.

So he's like Carlos Zambrano with a Hawaiian accent. Except Carlos would probably have been a more devastating center if he wasn't moved up to QB on the depth chart.

He beat the shit out of a teammate at Washington too.

[CT III]

Bears acquired Brian Price, DT, from the Bucs for a conditional pick. 2010 second round pick. Started 14 games last year and had 3 sacks. Not sure why the Bucs would give him away for a pittance, but this is another good depth move by Emery. I don't really see where this could be a bad trade even if he gets hurt again, since they gave up practically nothing for him and they're not counting on him to start. That didn't stop idiots on PFT from bitching about the Bears trading for a defensive lineman from Tampa since Gaines Adams worked out so well. Because you can naturally assume there's a good chance Price is just going to fucking die.

Zach Zaidman claimed that Price was a deeply-troubled man who recently punched Tampa's No. 1 pick in the face. If he turns out to be a rotation-worthy DL, that punch will be remembered fondly in these parts. (points to man parts)

Finally, we have somebody to replace what we lost when Olin Kreutz and his Magic Murderbag of leadership was jettisoned.

Jog my memory on the shooting range party...didn't Fred Miller throw a giant weight at Olin's face?

I believe Kreutz broke Miller's jaw, then Miller clocked him the weight.

Keep in mind that the Bears were so deep at tackle at the time that Fred Miller was starting.

[Tony]

Bears acquired Brian Price, DT, from the Bucs for a conditional pick. 2010 second round pick. Started 14 games last year and had 3 sacks. Not sure why the Bucs would give him away for a pittance, but this is another good depth move by Emery. I don't really see where this could be a bad trade even if he gets hurt again, since they gave up practically nothing for him and they're not counting on him to start. That didn't stop idiots on PFT from bitching about the Bears trading for a defensive lineman from Tampa since Gaines Adams worked out so well. Because you can naturally assume there's a good chance Price is just going to fucking die.

Zach Zaidman claimed that Price was a deeply-troubled man who recently punched Tampa's No. 1 pick in the face. If he turns out to be a rotation-worthy DL, that punch will be remembered fondly in these parts. (points to man parts)

Finally, we have somebody to replace what we lost when Olin Kreutz and his Magic Murderbag of leadership was jettisoned.

Jog my memory on the shooting range party...didn't Fred Miller throw a giant weight at Olin's face?

I believe Kreutz broke Miller's jaw, then Miller clocked him the weight.

Keep in mind that the Bears were so deep at tackle at the time that Fred Miller was starting.

I thought Kreutz broke Miller's jaw with the weight. And then he smashed Sammy's boombox with it.

[SKO]

Bears acquired Brian Price, DT, from the Bucs for a conditional pick. 2010 second round pick. Started 14 games last year and had 3 sacks. Not sure why the Bucs would give him away for a pittance, but this is another good depth move by Emery. I don't really see where this could be a bad trade even if he gets hurt again, since they gave up practically nothing for him and they're not counting on him to start. That didn't stop idiots on PFT from bitching about the Bears trading for a defensive lineman from Tampa since Gaines Adams worked out so well. Because you can naturally assume there's a good chance Price is just going to fucking die.

Zach Zaidman claimed that Price was a deeply-troubled man who recently punched Tampa's No. 1 pick in the face. If he turns out to be a rotation-worthy DL, that punch will be remembered fondly in these parts. (points to man parts)

And if he sucks they gave up a conditional pick for him. Nothing wasted. I think it's a good move.

[SKO]

Your camp update so far:

Brandon Marshall is Awesome

That's good!

Shea McClellin has been dominated at times in his first two practices against actual NFL players. ANGRY BEARS FANS TOTALLY JUSTIFIED.

That's bad!

But he did get a sack in one drill!

That's good!

But Michael C. Wright thinks he's a disappointment.

That's...bad?

But Stephen Paea looks good!

That's good!

[CubFaninHydePark]

Your camp update so far:

Brandon Marshall is Awesome

That's good!

Shea McClellin has been dominated at times in his first two practices against actual NFL players. ANGRY BEARS FANS TOTALLY JUSTIFIED.

That's bad!

But he did get a sack in one drill!

That's good!

But Michael C. Wright thinks he's a disappointment.

That's...bad?

But Stephen Paea looks good!

That's good!

The frogurt is cursed.

That's bad.