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Author Topic: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread  ( 138,471 )

SKO

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Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
« Reply #795 on: May 13, 2015, 09:55:26 AM »
Quote from: InternetApex on May 13, 2015, 09:37:06 AM
I liked the home run the best. The single and the walk, while nice and gritty and all were just good for one base apiece. The triple showed moxie and that was a cool-looking headfirst dive into 3rd where he was eventually stranded. But on the home run, he got four bases, including home plate which counted for a run.

That was my best bit right there.

I also preferred that long, majestic dong. I know when he wasn't hitting dongs we has to settle for focusing on how awesome he is at everything else but now the parade of dongs is coming hard and fast and I choose to focus on that.
I will vow, for the sake of peace, not to complain about David Ross between now and his first start next year- 10/26/2015

Eli

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Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
« Reply #796 on: May 13, 2015, 09:57:30 AM »
Quote from: SKO on May 13, 2015, 09:55:26 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on May 13, 2015, 09:37:06 AM
I liked the home run the best. The single and the walk, while nice and gritty and all were just good for one base apiece. The triple showed moxie and that was a cool-looking headfirst dive into 3rd where he was eventually stranded. But on the home run, he got four bases, including home plate which counted for a run.

That was my best bit right there.

I also preferred that long, majestic dong. I know when he wasn't hitting dongs we has to settle for focusing on how awesome he is at everything else but now the parade of dongs is coming hard and fast and I choose to focus on that.

I liked Chuck's specious hindsight logic after the game.

InternetApex

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Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
« Reply #797 on: May 13, 2015, 10:02:39 AM »
Quote from: Eli on May 13, 2015, 09:57:30 AM
Quote from: SKO on May 13, 2015, 09:55:26 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on May 13, 2015, 09:37:06 AM
I liked the home run the best. The single and the walk, while nice and gritty and all were just good for one base apiece. The triple showed moxie and that was a cool-looking headfirst dive into 3rd where he was eventually stranded. But on the home run, he got four bases, including home plate which counted for a run.

That was my best bit right there.

I also preferred that long, majestic dong. I know when he wasn't hitting dongs we has to settle for focusing on how awesome he is at everything else but now the parade of dongs is coming hard and fast and I choose to focus on that.

I liked Chuck's specious hindsight logic after the game.

I'm busy hammering Chuck in the Bulls thread but is he wrong about that one thing?
The 39th Tenet of Pexism: True in the game as long as blood is blue in my vein.

Eli

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Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
« Reply #798 on: May 13, 2015, 10:06:41 AM »
Quote from: InternetApex on May 13, 2015, 10:02:39 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 13, 2015, 09:57:30 AM
Quote from: SKO on May 13, 2015, 09:55:26 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on May 13, 2015, 09:37:06 AM
I liked the home run the best. The single and the walk, while nice and gritty and all were just good for one base apiece. The triple showed moxie and that was a cool-looking headfirst dive into 3rd where he was eventually stranded. But on the home run, he got four bases, including home plate which counted for a run.

That was my best bit right there.

I also preferred that long, majestic dong. I know when he wasn't hitting dongs we has to settle for focusing on how awesome he is at everything else but now the parade of dongs is coming hard and fast and I choose to focus on that.

I liked Chuck's specious hindsight logic after the game.

I'm busy hammering Chuck in the Bulls thread but is he wrong about that one thing?

He's not ultimately wrong since the end result is technically true. But I feel like it's presented more as a "thank god they were such geniuses to not sign anyone good" rather than just an enormous stroke of luck that they decided to tank and 18 months later the Astros passed on Bryant to draft Appel. Hence my Internet accusations of hindsight.

Chuck to Chuck

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Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
« Reply #799 on: May 13, 2015, 10:54:18 AM »
Quote from: Eli on May 13, 2015, 10:06:41 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on May 13, 2015, 10:02:39 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 13, 2015, 09:57:30 AM
Quote from: SKO on May 13, 2015, 09:55:26 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on May 13, 2015, 09:37:06 AM
I liked the home run the best. The single and the walk, while nice and gritty and all were just good for one base apiece. The triple showed moxie and that was a cool-looking headfirst dive into 3rd where he was eventually stranded. But on the home run, he got four bases, including home plate which counted for a run.

That was my best bit right there.

I also preferred that long, majestic dong. I know when he wasn't hitting dongs we has to settle for focusing on how awesome he is at everything else but now the parade of dongs is coming hard and fast and I choose to focus on that.

I liked Chuck's specious hindsight logic after the game.

I'm busy hammering Chuck in the Bulls thread but is he wrong about that one thing?

He's not ultimately wrong since the end result is technically true. But I feel like it's presented more as a "thank god they were such geniuses to not sign anyone good" rather than just an enormous stroke of luck that they decided to tank and 18 months later the Astros passed on Bryant to draft Appel. Hence my Internet accusations of hindsight.

A) I said it at the time (that more wins in 2012 and 2013 would delay the getting good) so it's not hindsight.
B) It's primarily a stick poke at the lunatics who were all "EPSTINK IS TURRIBLE" who are now "PRAISE THEO!!!"

Powdered Toast Man

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Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
« Reply #800 on: May 13, 2015, 10:57:46 AM »
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on May 13, 2015, 10:54:18 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 13, 2015, 10:06:41 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on May 13, 2015, 10:02:39 AM
Quote from: Eli on May 13, 2015, 09:57:30 AM
Quote from: SKO on May 13, 2015, 09:55:26 AM
Quote from: InternetApex on May 13, 2015, 09:37:06 AM
I liked the home run the best. The single and the walk, while nice and gritty and all were just good for one base apiece. The triple showed moxie and that was a cool-looking headfirst dive into 3rd where he was eventually stranded. But on the home run, he got four bases, including home plate which counted for a run.

That was my best bit right there.

I also preferred that long, majestic dong. I know when he wasn't hitting dongs we has to settle for focusing on how awesome he is at everything else but now the parade of dongs is coming hard and fast and I choose to focus on that.

I liked Chuck's specious hindsight logic after the game.

I'm busy hammering Chuck in the Bulls thread but is he wrong about that one thing?

He's not ultimately wrong since the end result is technically true. But I feel like it's presented more as a "thank god they were such geniuses to not sign anyone good" rather than just an enormous stroke of luck that they decided to tank and 18 months later the Astros passed on Bryant to draft Appel. Hence my Internet accusations of hindsight.

A) I said it at the time (that more wins in 2012 and 2013 would delay the getting good) so it's not hindsight.
B) It's primarily a stick poke at the lunatics who were all "EPSTINK IS TURRIBLE" who are now "PRAISE THEO!!!"

When you put that stuff on the twinternet, who are you talking to? Because most people you associate with about Cubs baseball, I assume, are primarily us...and we aren't those "EPSTINK IS TURRIBLE" people.
IAN/YETI 2012!  "IT MEANS WHAT WE SAY IT MEANS!"


thehawk

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Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
« Reply #801 on: May 13, 2015, 11:19:46 AM »
Quote from: Yeti on May 13, 2015, 07:58:19 AM
So much to choose from, but I think the triple tingled me the most. Like Len said, that kind of ball does not typically go off the wall. He nearly missed a HR there.

*changes undergarments*

And with a ball hit that hard off the wall (and played fairly cleanly as it was last night) very seldom does a batter leg out a triple on it.

But the home run was awe inspiring.  One more biscuit for breakfast and it would had been Stantonesque.
Andre Dawson paid his $1,000 fine for the Joe West incident with style. Dawson wrote ``Donation for the blind`` in the memo section of his personal check.

ChuckD

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Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
« Reply #802 on: May 15, 2015, 10:39:53 AM »
Bump. He's leading the MLB in Pitches/PA now -- up to 4.44 P/PA.


World's #1 Astros Fan

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Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
« Reply #804 on: May 15, 2015, 10:49:06 AM »
Quote from: ChuckD on May 15, 2015, 10:40:13 AM
DPD.

Quote from: Sterling Archer on May 12, 2015, 11:14:34 PM
Quote from: thehawk on May 12, 2015, 10:12:23 PM
Quote from: SKO on May 12, 2015, 09:56:58 PM
Quote from: ChuckD on May 12, 2015, 09:46:47 PM
I love this motherfucker.

Thought of you when I was at the game Wednesday when Bryant battled back from 0-2 to 3-2 during one of his at-bats.  I was pretty sure it was the first time he BBABDOT or whatever since you came up with that but I enjoyed the occasion very much.
Just a sloppy, undisciplined team.  Garbage.

--SKO, on the 2018 Chicago Cubs

ChuckD

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Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
« Reply #805 on: May 15, 2015, 02:31:21 PM »
BOOMP.

Battled back from 0-2 to 3-2 then hit a big 3-run dong.

Saul Goodman

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Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
« Reply #806 on: May 15, 2015, 02:31:55 PM »
Attendance: 40,000 boners
You two wanna go stick your wangs in a hornet's nest, it's a free country.  But how come I always gotta get sloppy seconds, huh?

SKO

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I will vow, for the sake of peace, not to complain about David Ross between now and his first start next year- 10/26/2015

PenFoe

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Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
« Reply #808 on: May 15, 2015, 02:54:47 PM »
First 96 ABs:

Kris Bryant: .281/.419/.479  4 HR, 37 Ks/21 BBs.
Troy Glaus: .226/.286/.330  1 HR, 25 Ks/9 BBs
I can't believe I even know these people. I'm ashamed of my internet life.

InternetApex

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Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread
« Reply #809 on: May 15, 2015, 02:58:01 PM »
Quote from: PenFoe on May 15, 2015, 02:54:47 PM
First 96 ABs:

Kris Bryant: .281/.419/.479  4 homers, 37 Ks, 21 BBs.
Troy Glaus: .226/.286/.330.  1 homer. 25 Ks, 9 BBs

*flying (shirtless) chest bumps Pen*
The 39th Tenet of Pexism: True in the game as long as blood is blue in my vein.