The first thing I said when Hank shoved the glove in Gipson’s face was, “There’s no way Michael Barrett makes that play.”
Viva Hank, indeed.
Matt Murton
on September 30, 2005 at 4:54 pm
Look at the third picture. In the background you can see the batter pulling into third, Nomar giving the “We won” hand pump and me, backing up the play in case there was a throw to third. I am the smartest player the Cubs have ever had. Which is not saying much by comparison, but I really am pretty smart.
Hank White
on September 30, 2005 at 4:54 pm
Pitchers love to hug me.
Gabor
on September 30, 2005 at 4:55 pm
Blanco! Give me back my damn helmet!
Pudge Rodriguez
on September 30, 2005 at 5:13 pm
Charles Gipson
on September 30, 2005 at 5:24 pm
I am the Cubs baserunning bitch! Baserunning > me.
Michael Barrett
on September 30, 2005 at 5:25 pm
Horrible job right there. You’ve got to run Gipson two steps back toward 3rd and then flip it to Nomar.
Kyle Orton
on September 30, 2005 at 5:33 pm
Did anyone see the pics of me getting smashed in a bar in Iowa last night? I love Jack Daniels man!
Game Film
on September 30, 2005 at 6:57 pm
Um, Kyle…shouldn’t you be studying me?
The Cubs
on September 30, 2005 at 9:15 pm
You wonder why we suck? We are useless cunts. We are owned and managed by cunts. Worthless Bob Novoa gives up a homer to fat Lance, and we should hit someone in the head (for real this time, fat Lance), and start a fight. Show we have some balls, give a little payback for last year. We didn’t do it, and we won’t do it. Because we are a franchise of loser ass pansies. Fuck us…we are a pathetic excuse for a baseball club.
The Cubs
on October 1, 2005 at 1:06 am
No, 10 that is not why we suck. We suck because the last 2 nights we have played like we have a pulse and a clue, possibly for the first time all season. Way to blow off the first 158.
The Cubs
on October 1, 2005 at 2:49 am
Wait….Spring Training has been over for 6 months? Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit, if we’d only known that….
Kyle Orton
on October 1, 2005 at 1:37 pm
Where can I find those pics of me
Astros
on October 1, 2005 at 2:23 pm
Those were all cheap hits, not fair…wah…is there a bigger bunch of pussy ass idiots in major league unis? The Cubs need to knoeck us out of the playoffs, and in the last inning they face us, they need to hit someone hard, on purpose, as payback. Good lord are we a bunch of sucks.
The Phillies
on October 1, 2005 at 4:59 pm
Wait, we have to depend on the Cubs to get in? Oh shit. Well, see you in spring training.
Next Year
on October 1, 2005 at 5:08 pm
Don’t look forward to me, Cubs fans.
Derrek Lee
on October 1, 2005 at 7:31 pm
The Muskrat says that I went 0-4, but I’m pretty sure I was 0-2 with 2BB’s…oh well, not like it matters.
Balls
on October 2, 2005 at 1:14 pm
If the Cubs had me, they would drill Berkman and Ensberg. They don’t, so they won’t. They lay down and take it on the chin.
Next Years' Rotation
on October 2, 2005 at 1:24 pm
Prior, Wood, Zambrano, Williams, Maddux…ugh. Zambrano will have a great year, Wood will get injured, Maddux and Williams will have ERA’s around 5.00, and Prior will continue his slide towards #3 starter status. Yeah #16, I’m gonna have to agree with you.
Derrek Lee
on October 2, 2005 at 2:00 pm
Maybe I shoulda pulled a Manny and sat this one out, and why not, the rest of my team apparently has. They must all like to golf a lot.
Greg Maddux
on October 2, 2005 at 2:57 pm
Please, let this be my last start, I’m clearly done.
Jerry Crawford
on October 2, 2005 at 3:35 pm
Just like my brother Joey, I’m bad at my job. I also hate Chicago sports teams, I hope my brother, Joe Buck, me, etc…are all on the same plane when it crashes.
Rich
on October 3, 2005 at 11:02 am
A Cubs’ fan (#14) describing the Astros as “sucks” and whiners = me.
The Cubs
on October 3, 2005 at 11:34 am
Wait a second, we won the season series against against the Asstrolls, and the Cards…yet they both clinched against us? Where’s Dusty the math wiz when you need him? Oh wait, here on the schedule it says we have like over 100 other games against other teams. Oh well, see you on the back nine.
The Astros
on October 3, 2005 at 11:38 am
#23, we are whiners and bitches, even bigger ones than the Cubs. The Beege, and Jeff Bagroids have that really gay DK connection with the cards, if things don’t go Oswalt’s way, he hits someone and then proceeds to quickly head towards his dugout…oh well, we better get ready to have yet another season without even a World Series appearance. Let’s see, that makes…every season we have ever played.
Fat Lance
on October 3, 2005 at 11:39 am
I pretend to get hit in the head, that is the biggest pussy move in all of baseball. In any other decade, I get ear-holed my next at bat.
Last WS Win = 1908
on October 3, 2005 at 1:50 pm
Now THAT is something to crow about, #25.
#26
on October 3, 2005 at 2:00 pm
You’re absolutely right. Lance’s taking a free base is absolutely bush-league, as is taking advantage of any bad ruling by an umpire. By that same rationale, Greg Maddux should have been correcting umpires for years that, in fact, balls thrown four inches off the plate are in fact NOT strikes. Ditto Livan Hernandez in the 1997 NLCS.
But not objecting to an umpire’s bad ruling PALES in comparison to legions of fans turning a poor dork with headphones into a pariah who had to be surrounded by security, all because they can’t accept that their lousy team coughed up a three-run lead with only five outs to go.
Chief Sloth-a-homa
on October 3, 2005 at 2:18 pm
I guess my native American support put the hex on the Tribe, too.
Kiss of Death = me
Alex Gonzales
on October 3, 2005 at 2:48 pm
Remember me? I’m the guy that let the ball go through my wickets after the “foul ball fiasco” that Alou’s still crying about.
When healthy, we’re the best in the league! Thing is, we’re never healthy.
The Cubs
on October 3, 2005 at 3:44 pm
Yes, our last win was in 1908, but we do indeed have a world series win, a couple actually. And yes, we also have been to plenty that we didn’t win. No one is saying that this team has been great, because they haven’t. But Astrolls fans have no right to talk about anything. Their franchise has never even been to a world series, and this year will be no different. We might be bad, but our fans don’t need a scoreboard to tell them when to make noise. Now little astros fan, go back to Mexico’s Wisconsin and watch your playoff team.
Fat Lance
on October 3, 2005 at 3:47 pm
I played like I got hit, all that was missing was my big fat tears.
Cub Math
on October 3, 2005 at 4:41 pm
1908 to 2005 = 87 years
Last WS appearance… 60 years ago.
Astros have existed for 43 years. So they still have 17 more seasons to make it to a WS, and 44 to win one.
Dusty Baker
on October 3, 2005 at 4:57 pm
Uh, guys, 1908 to 2005 is actually 97 years…
The Colt 45's
on October 4, 2005 at 12:36 am
What, we don’t count? Go Texans!!!
96 L's a year for 3 years
on October 4, 2005 at 8:28 am
That’s what the Colt .45’s were good for.
Don’t get us started on the Texans. It is quite clear to us that–if David Carr ever had any redeeming qualities as a quarterback–they have wasted away to nothingness. He is so afraid of being hit (understandably so) that he usually checks off only one receiver before panicking in the pocket and running away (usually to get sacked from behind). This is a bad offensive team, and they’re going nowhere. It’s time to admit that our #1 overall pick was blown, and start over with a new coach and GM.
But hey, let’s talk about baseball some more!
#36
on October 4, 2005 at 8:33 am
The Colt .45’s started in 1962, and are included in the “we’ve existed for 43 years” calculation. (Admittedly, having one’s math corrected by Dusty Baker is an utter humiliation.)
Dusty Baker
on October 4, 2005 at 10:59 am
Naw, dude, it ain’t so bad…I batted behind Hank Aaron, and he told me that math is important…a brotha needs to know his math…blah, blah, blah…zzzzzzzzzz
The first thing I said when Hank shoved the glove in Gipson’s face was, “There’s no way Michael Barrett makes that play.”
Viva Hank, indeed.
Look at the third picture. In the background you can see the batter pulling into third, Nomar giving the “We won” hand pump and me, backing up the play in case there was a throw to third. I am the smartest player the Cubs have ever had. Which is not saying much by comparison, but I really am pretty smart.
Pitchers love to hug me.
Blanco! Give me back my damn helmet!
I am the Cubs baserunning bitch! Baserunning > me.
Horrible job right there. You’ve got to run Gipson two steps back toward 3rd and then flip it to Nomar.
Did anyone see the pics of me getting smashed in a bar in Iowa last night? I love Jack Daniels man!
Um, Kyle…shouldn’t you be studying me?
You wonder why we suck? We are useless cunts. We are owned and managed by cunts. Worthless Bob Novoa gives up a homer to fat Lance, and we should hit someone in the head (for real this time, fat Lance), and start a fight. Show we have some balls, give a little payback for last year. We didn’t do it, and we won’t do it. Because we are a franchise of loser ass pansies. Fuck us…we are a pathetic excuse for a baseball club.
No, 10 that is not why we suck. We suck because the last 2 nights we have played like we have a pulse and a clue, possibly for the first time all season. Way to blow off the first 158.
Wait….Spring Training has been over for 6 months? Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit, if we’d only known that….
Where can I find those pics of me
Those were all cheap hits, not fair…wah…is there a bigger bunch of pussy ass idiots in major league unis? The Cubs need to knoeck us out of the playoffs, and in the last inning they face us, they need to hit someone hard, on purpose, as payback. Good lord are we a bunch of sucks.
Wait, we have to depend on the Cubs to get in? Oh shit. Well, see you in spring training.
Don’t look forward to me, Cubs fans.
The Muskrat says that I went 0-4, but I’m pretty sure I was 0-2 with 2BB’s…oh well, not like it matters.
If the Cubs had me, they would drill Berkman and Ensberg. They don’t, so they won’t. They lay down and take it on the chin.
Prior, Wood, Zambrano, Williams, Maddux…ugh. Zambrano will have a great year, Wood will get injured, Maddux and Williams will have ERA’s around 5.00, and Prior will continue his slide towards #3 starter status. Yeah #16, I’m gonna have to agree with you.
Maybe I shoulda pulled a Manny and sat this one out, and why not, the rest of my team apparently has. They must all like to golf a lot.
Please, let this be my last start, I’m clearly done.
Just like my brother Joey, I’m bad at my job. I also hate Chicago sports teams, I hope my brother, Joe Buck, me, etc…are all on the same plane when it crashes.
A Cubs’ fan (#14) describing the Astros as “sucks” and whiners = me.
Wait a second, we won the season series against against the Asstrolls, and the Cards…yet they both clinched against us? Where’s Dusty the math wiz when you need him? Oh wait, here on the schedule it says we have like over 100 other games against other teams. Oh well, see you on the back nine.
#23, we are whiners and bitches, even bigger ones than the Cubs. The Beege, and Jeff Bagroids have that really gay DK connection with the cards, if things don’t go Oswalt’s way, he hits someone and then proceeds to quickly head towards his dugout…oh well, we better get ready to have yet another season without even a World Series appearance. Let’s see, that makes…every season we have ever played.
I pretend to get hit in the head, that is the biggest pussy move in all of baseball. In any other decade, I get ear-holed my next at bat.
Now THAT is something to crow about, #25.
You’re absolutely right. Lance’s taking a free base is absolutely bush-league, as is taking advantage of any bad ruling by an umpire. By that same rationale, Greg Maddux should have been correcting umpires for years that, in fact, balls thrown four inches off the plate are in fact NOT strikes. Ditto Livan Hernandez in the 1997 NLCS.
But not objecting to an umpire’s bad ruling PALES in comparison to legions of fans turning a poor dork with headphones into a pariah who had to be surrounded by security, all because they can’t accept that their lousy team coughed up a three-run lead with only five outs to go.
I guess my native American support put the hex on the Tribe, too.
Kiss of Death = me
Remember me? I’m the guy that let the ball go through my wickets after the “foul ball fiasco” that Alou’s still crying about.
Wood: “Just wait ’til next year!”
Prior: “Yeah!”
Maddux: “Okay, fine… yeah.”
When healthy, we’re the best in the league! Thing is, we’re never healthy.
Yes, our last win was in 1908, but we do indeed have a world series win, a couple actually. And yes, we also have been to plenty that we didn’t win. No one is saying that this team has been great, because they haven’t. But Astrolls fans have no right to talk about anything. Their franchise has never even been to a world series, and this year will be no different. We might be bad, but our fans don’t need a scoreboard to tell them when to make noise. Now little astros fan, go back to Mexico’s Wisconsin and watch your playoff team.
I played like I got hit, all that was missing was my big fat tears.
1908 to 2005 = 87 years
Last WS appearance… 60 years ago.
Astros have existed for 43 years. So they still have 17 more seasons to make it to a WS, and 44 to win one.
Uh, guys, 1908 to 2005 is actually 97 years…
What, we don’t count? Go Texans!!!
That’s what the Colt .45’s were good for.
Don’t get us started on the Texans. It is quite clear to us that–if David Carr ever had any redeeming qualities as a quarterback–they have wasted away to nothingness. He is so afraid of being hit (understandably so) that he usually checks off only one receiver before panicking in the pocket and running away (usually to get sacked from behind). This is a bad offensive team, and they’re going nowhere. It’s time to admit that our #1 overall pick was blown, and start over with a new coach and GM.
But hey, let’s talk about baseball some more!
The Colt .45’s started in 1962, and are included in the “we’ve existed for 43 years” calculation. (Admittedly, having one’s math corrected by Dusty Baker is an utter humiliation.)
Naw, dude, it ain’t so bad…I batted behind Hank Aaron, and he told me that math is important…a brotha needs to know his math…blah, blah, blah…zzzzzzzzzz