The weekend started early in college football when Wanny took his Pitt Panthers to Athens, Ohio to take on the OU Bobcats. Ohio had gotten hammered by Northwestern in week one, and while you expected Pitt to be a little wobbly coming off a humiliating nationally televised whupping by Notre Dame and having a short week, you didn’t expect this one to be close.
But then you started to think about it. Ohio is one of only a handful of teams who run the option. While the option is fading away for a reason, when it’s run right it’s tough to stop. Besides, what does Dave Wannstedt know about defending the option? Maybe it would be close. Maybe Ohio could score enough to make it interesting.
Then Pitt returns the opening kickoff for a touchdown and you knew it was all folly. Ohio never scores a touchdown on offense. But Pitt can’t pull away. They can’t score a TD on offense either.
When Dion Byrum returned his second Tyler Palko interception for a touchdown, this one, the game winner in overtime, the best thing happened all weekend. ESPN2 showed Wanny on the sidelines and he didn’t know the game was over.
He just stood there. You could tell he thought Pitt would get the ball again. Just how dumb is this man? Last week I said he wasn’t dumb, just a little incompetent, but now we can add full-blown “dumb” to his resume. That made my weekend.
Well, until Notre Dame’s opening drive on Saturday. They won the toss. They took the ball and then they took their sweet time driving nearly 80 yards on Michigan on a drive so well concieved that they ran 12 plays and never faced a third down. It was 98 degrees on the field and the Irish hadn’t broken a sweat.
When Michigan got one first down and punted it back to them you figured the points would keep on coming. But they didn’t. Because Brady Quinn had a lousy day.
Lousy? He was 19 of 30, threw two TDs, didn’t turn the ball over, and led the Irish to an upset over the third ranked team in the nation.
All of this is true. Except, believe it or not, the Irish nearly blew Michigan out.
On Notre Dame’s second possession, Quinn had Jeff Sm;jkljkljkljkja wide open for a 50 yard gain in the middle of the field and threw the ball about 32 yards.
On their third possession he had Sm;jk;kjkljlkja wide open on a seam route and threw it into the band.
The long pass to Rhema McKnight in the second quarter (the one Rhema blew his knee out on) should have been (and replays showed, was) a completion, but it would have been easier and gained more yards had the ball been thrown in front of McKnight and not behind him.
Even the TD pass to Sm;lkj;kj;lkj;lkja in the second quarter was poorly thrown. Jeff was open, but Quinn’s pass was behind him and was tipped and nearly picked off.
Look, I’m not saying Quinn was abysmal, but for a guy with his talent (and even in some horrific losses the last two years, Brady’s talent was undeniable) you didn’t expect him to have an off day passing the ball. Remember, Michigan’s defense sucks. Notre Dame only put up 244 yards against it. They had a lot of chances to make a lot more plays. And against teams that will score on Notre Dame, like Purdue and probably this Saturday against Michigan State, Brady will have to be better.
I was amazed, stupefied even, by the replay officials’ decision in the fourth quarter to overturn a call that the on field officials had blown. The second and goal from the one when Chad Henne fumbled into the pile and Chinedum Ndukwe recovered in the end zone. The reason I was amazed was that no one replay showed the whole play. ABC had a shot from behind the play that showed Henne fumble the ball, then they had one from the end zone that showed Ndukwe reach into the pile, show the ball to a ref who refused to look at him and run off with the ball. There’s Nudukwe standing at the 20 holding the ball and the refs are still all looking in the pile for the ball.
I’m sure it didn’t hurt Notre Dame’s cause that ABC used an arrow during one of the replays to show the ball rolling out of the pile. But I was sure that the officials would cop out and say that no single replay showed what happened. I was pretty impressed, really, that whoever the guy in the booth is who makes the final call made the one he did.
I was also proud of the classy way Luh-loyd Carr handled himself on the sidelines. Twice, ABC’s field mic picked up conversations Luh-loyd was having with the officials on the field during replay reviews. The first he started yelling, “You’ve had enough time! Time to play!” The second he said, “You owe us one, our quarterback’s shoulder got in the end zone on first down!” I’m not sure if Luh-loyd thought that the ball was on Henne’s shoulder, but maybe that’s what Henne was trying on second down.
Michigan’s fans sure acted maturely after the fumble was given to Notre Dame and then a few minutes later when replays clearly showed that Brady had been down before he fumbled on a second down sack. Michigan fans, who inexplicably, had been sent an e-mail by an administrator urging them to not stand up so much during games, started standing up and throwing stuff on the field.
Who do they think they are? Cubs fans throwing beer cups on the field after bad calls by umpires? Hey, man, that’s our thing. Wait, no, they can have it.
What kind of surprised me was that the refs didn’t make the public address announcer warn the crowd that they were asking for a 15 yard penalty against the Wolverines if they kept it up. Since it was third and 13 the second time they pulled that crap, it might have actually deterred them. Or, it could have just made things worse.
So how good are the Irish? We asked that last week and didn’t know, and even a week later we’re still not sure. The defense played much better than they had against Pitt. Against Pitt they missed a lot of tackles. Against Michigan, they didn’t miss many at all. That kind of effort (even with a dumbass like Carr in charge of the opponent) would result in a lot of wins. Offensively, they’ve been terrible in the second halves of both games. That’s not a good sign. Plus, Michigan State has made a habit of slapping Notre Dame back to earth after wins over Michigan. So maybe. Just maybe, we’ll really know after this week.
I actually interfered with a Redskin on Vasher’s second INT. It was me. I reached over and grabbed the guy’s shirt needlessly while Nate jumped the route for the pick. Should I have not done that?
Sorry, Mike. I didn’t know it was you. That was the part of the game where I was relying on Jeff Joniak to keep me informed.
How can we go offsides?
I gave Orton “Player of the Game”.
Not that anyone else deserved it, but Orton?!? Who here thinks I hate Hub as much as y’all and am just reacting to his strong “Anti-Orton” stance that the SCORE sometimes plays in its promos? Going out of my way to disgaree with that little shit.
Hey Hub– ND 17, U of M 10. Not that you actually played ball at Michigan, you’re just their #1 foam-finger-wearing dorky fan.
Where’d you play ball?!?
If I were Bobby Cox, I’d pretty much mail in the games against Philly because if they go 5-2 against you and win the WC over Houston then the Braves play San Diego instead of Houston. Of course they’ve got to make sure they don’t blow their 7 game lead over the Marlins (and 8 over the Phillies).
#3, somehow that’s probably my fault too.
If only Dusty had not made me a closer. I’m just lights out as a setup man, right? Whoa, I think I just sharted.
I may be the cockiest player on the Cubs.
Anytime Mike Brown wants to cover somebody is okay with me.
And it’s not even my birthday. It feels kind of dirty. I like.
You’re all welcome!
“but the chances of all of them losing enough games to let the Cubs sneak through are about as realistic as the chances of anybody watching that show on Fox between The Simpsons and Family Guy.”
People watch The Simpsons?
Are you seriously dissing the Simpsons. Don’t make me go all Android Dungeon Comic Book Store Guy on your ass.
Are you seriously dissing the Simpsons? Don’t make me go all Android Dungeon Comic Book Store Guy on your ass.
D’OH! I double posted.
I just read Peter King’s MMQB and I have to say it was utterly incomprehensible. When I got to the line “these are my non-NFL thoughts…” I had to back up and check because it didn’t seem like there’d been ANY NFL thoughts to that point. Although I did enjoy his Brick Tamlin-like “Things I like” and “Things I don’t like”. Kyle Orton. Stapler. Air Conditioning.
People watch Family Guy?
Last night’s Family Guy flirted with ‘Average’ and ‘Below Average’ with your usual face-saving joke thrown in here and there.
Any diss on The Simpsons is undeserved, because that show was a major pillar for most people growing up at that time. I was a watcher from season 1, but since circa 2003 I’ve had the inability to find any humor within the show, whether its new episodes or vintage. Probably a defect of mine, although similar cases have been popping up elsewhere.
That show in between Simps/FG though? I’m up for dissing the fuck out of that in hopes it gets imploded to nothingness. A thousand middle fingers primarily directed towards its premise, and whoever may have come up with it.
Ow, my fr**king eyes. Thanks for double-cu*sing, Mike D.
(I realize you were trying to change the period to a question mark on the 2nd posting (I’m the same way about obsessively re-reading and editing my posts (I hate having to look at a d**gum mistake in one of my comments)))
Actually #3, nobody goes offsides. It’s either a false start (offense) or encroachment (defense). I once killed a man in Pennsylvania with my bare hands for offering to violate my neutral zone.
After the Packer’s pummeling, I think I saw a dead rat, Bo Ryan, Barry Alvarez, Devin Harris, Ron Dayne and Bret Favre all squashed like roadkill on Route 41 just south of Green Bay
(I know that sometimes my jokes are obscure so I don’t explain them, and then people complain (I hate it when people complain about my writing without giving constructive criticism) so I didn’t know if (or whether) to explain this joke. If you want me to explain it (it’s really funny), please let me know).
I still love The Simpsons, but last night when it started with Homer reading the gambling pamphlet and Lisa explaining about the scheme mass mailers use to convince people they are always correct, I was sure it was a re-run of the time Lisa started picking games for him.
The whole manatee thing was a little tedious, until, of course the last scene with Mr. Burns and Smithers giving the manatee a sponge bath with “Car Wash” playing in the background.
Family Guy was lame, though I did enjoy “Spanish Quagmire”. American Dad was actually funnier than Family Guy.
As for the show in between the Simpsons and Family Guy, I won’t watch anything with Michael Rappaport in it. He is apparently Spike Lee’s idea of a tough, Italian guy, even though he’s redheaded, a pansy, and Jewish.
I watched about 10 minutes of the Rappaport show. It was essentially “Grounded for Life” with a new cast. And if you know what that means, then you, like me, need help.
Number 19 is obviously not Ed Hochuli or any of the other fine officials working the National Football League.
Encroachment = defensive player enters the neutral zone and makes contact with an opponent before the ball is snapped; play blown dead
Offside = player is beyond line of scrimmage when ball is snapped; play may continue
“Offsides” = no such term in American football, but I have heard fans call for it in rural areas
I did take in a limited amount of The Simpsons last night, and will fully admit to having a ‘laugh out loud’ when the manatee abruptly doused Marge with manatee vomit.
We (Wizards, Redskins, Nationals) own Chicago teams.
RE #21: Hmm. Let’s see…. I (Matt) am a redhead and my ex-roomie Adam is a Jew. Am not sure but were we just insulted?
Anytime you want to cover a great team, feel free to right about us.
We meant write, not right, obviously. Sorry guys, I’m strung out on meth.
…and whoever it was that just swept us.
You can’t forget that I’m the offensive idiot in Wanny’s brain mistrust. If we get Pitt to go 1-1 against Nebraska and a I-AA school in the next two weeks, our .250 winning percent we had w/ the Bears will remain intact.
– – – – – –
I thought God hated me enough as a Cubs fan. That he gave me Wanny to coach my alma mater is indisputable proof.
This just in….. The White Sox – as great as they are against the AL Central Division- can’t spell.
CT, I occasionally stopped on “grounded for Life” for non-comedic reasons. Of course, I have “TV babes” on the Food Channel, Discovery Channel, Animal Planet, QVC, all the news channels, Univision (duh!) and the Weather Channel is always chock full of cute flat-chested weather skanks. The real J-Lo rocks my oysters on TWC.
“and the Weather Channel is always chock full of cute flat-chested weather skanks.”
I’ve seen Jennifer Lopez on there too. Cheers!
This Murton and Cedeno thing with Dusty has just been an insult to Cubs fans. Dustbag has been a real piece of shit and stupid fucker that is always one step behind each and every one of us Cub fans.
DustyFuck has finally come to the asumption that it would be better to give Murton more at bats down the stretch then to run KPatt”The Assclown” to the plate.
DustyFuck has also come to the asumption that since Nomar can hit the ball and needs to be in the lineup, that he could actually adjust to play possibly left field.
Dusty you got to be kidding. These athletic baseball players only get paid millions and should be able to handle being a scoreboard operator, grounds crewman, batboy, announcer, beer vendor, and yes even other positions on the field.
Next year’s lineup, which won’t happen, because of DustyFuck being so fucking stubborn and being the stupid fuck he is:
CF-Leadoff hitter who is a free agent and can play this position
SS-Cedeno
1B-Lee
3B-Ramirez
LF-Nomar
2B-Walker
RF-Murton
C-Barrett
Shove your lefty/righty and platooning shit right up your candyass Dusty!
Is this lineup that hard to make out? I can’t believe Dusty will be coaching this team for another 4 years or something. He is the second coming of Dave Wannstedt. Always gets the good job and good money and doesn’t do a fucking thing for it.
FDF=Fuck Dusty Forever
Baker Basher
Baker Basher just sucked all of me out of this forum.
Me too!
But I’m still here, mang!
Can’t spell ‘funny’ without ‘fun’, and Baker Basher is funnier than fuck. I mean, I thought sensationalism was the sensation of Desipio?
Bullshit. That semi-literate tool is not funnier than me. No way.
Lighten up, fuck.
His illiterate prose is part of his prize. And sorry if I started a chain of obsessive foul language!
So, Michael Rappaort is the 21st Century James Cann?
Rappaort and Cann. Consider it plagarized.
Jay, when you start writing entertainment news is the day Roger Ebert finally just sits down and eats you with some fava beans and a nice chianti.
I am intrigued by the people who think keeping Nomar next year and playing him in left is a good idea. There are three major problems with this:
1) Nomar’s range would make Alou look like Willie Mays.
2) Nomar can’t throw. His mechanics are horrendous and he doesn’t have that strong of an arm to begin with. Can you see him throwing out anyone at the plate with that jumping, side-arm slinging motion? Didn’t think so.
3) This one is obvious: he hasn’t made it through a season in recent memory without a serious injury. So we would need another left fielder anyway – unless Neifi! is going to back him up in LF also.
Keeping him to play 2B and getting a free agent SS makes more sense, but, not much more.
I actually watched most of the Rapaport show, because I had just gotten home and and to make food before Family Guy Time. Pretty bad stuff.
My favorite Rapaport moment, better than any of his movies, was a “Jon Stewart Show” advert from Jon’s time at MTV. Stewart was pressing Rapaport, straight-faced, about what his impetus behind leaving the Beastie Boys was. Was he forced out? Was it an amicable parting. Hilarious. I’ve been looking for it online (even a mention of it) for years.
“Yo, Jon, fo’ real, I wasn’t in da muthaf!c%in’ Beastie Boys, yo!”
And Family Guy, while the Spanish “giggidties” were funny, wasn’t much. And I’m one of the few who thought the new episodes were better than the ones from a few years back.
Simpsons writers think that they’ve created every sitcom issue under the sun, so bringing in James Woods as a guest star on Family Guy was as big of a “screw you” to Groening’s Co. as I can think of.
Did you guys enjoy my fluke year? Yeah, you knew I wasn’t that good. Time to go back to being average…suckers.
I would like to thank you Derrek, for the batting title that is. You may be a better fielder, but you suck at everything else compared to me. LOSER.
Returning to old news about the Bears, they accomplished something (again) that isn’t easy to do in the NFL – win the turnover battle but lose the game. They managed this feat several times last year as well. Generally the team with the fewest turnovers wins 80-plus % of the time, so you’ve got to be really, really extra crappy to keep pulling that off…which I think pretty much sums up this Bears’ offense.