The Jockey uses the phrase “resuscitate his career” to describe Jock’s new job in Chicago. That’s just what you want from a guy you’re paying $16 million.
Here’s what Jock said about his lousy 2005.
“I was trying to do too much. I put too much pressure on myself to have an out-of-the-world year.”
You ought to do great then trying to justify your new deal.
Mike Kiley’s as daft as always. Check out this gem:
The Cubs would seem to need a right-handed-hitting reserve outfielder and perhaps a more versatile infielder than Todd Walker, who is third on the depth chart at second base behind Neifi Perez and Jerry Hairston.
Do we really think that Todd is third? Sure, Dusty will play Neifi over him. But don’t discount how much Dusty hates Jerry Hairston.
Kiley spreads the bullshit around about how Jock will bounce back.
Mariotti puts down the doughnut to tout Lovie as the greatest coach ever.
Greg Couch doesn’t want Brett Farvuhruh leaving just as the Packers get lousy and the Bears get good.
Bruce Miles on Jock. Jock says he’s better than a .250 hitter. Like .255 maybe.
The Cubs hired Lenny Wilkens? What?
Johnny Damon is off to the Yankees.
Gee, that Alfonso Soriano’s a fun guy.
Buster Olney on Damon’s defection to the dark side.
Kelly Dwyer loves the Hawks and Hornets. OK, he just likes them a little.
America’s finest news source says Karl Rove has been implicated in leaking Santa’s identity.
Maybe we can trade Korey for Theo’s phone number.
Are the responses scrolling up instead of down?
oh man. my mitt was all greased and ready to go. back to the caves.
Now Boston needs a CF, which we seem to have one too many of.
Not saying, just saying.
Bullet Proof Tony
So you’re obviously the big dick,
and they on either side of you, must
be your balls.
But they’re not clever, they smell
pussy, and they want a piece of the
action, and the dimmer the dick, the
less he cares about the consequences,
and you thought you smelt gooood ol
pussy, and have brought your little
mincy faggot balls along for a gooood
ol time, but you have got your parties
muddled up, there is no pussy here,
just a dose to make you wish you
were born a woman.. . .
And just like a prick, you are having
second thoughts; And the fact that you’ve got “REPLICA†written down the side of your gun, and I’ve got Desert Eagle, Point five-oh, on the side of mine should get you’re balls to shrinking, along with your presence. Now… Fuck off!
How can I make this offseason even more ludicrous? I know, why don’t I trade Walker to the Cardinals? They need a 2b. What do we care, we’ve got Neifi!
Dude Andy…
Catchers hit 8th, dude.
So, my “Dude” Lineup…
1) Pierre
2) Neifi
3) D. Lee
4) Mabry (need Vets leadership)
5) Ramirez
6) J. Jones
7) Neifi’s singing brother
8) Barrett
It looks like Reggie Bush will be a USC graduate playing on a better team in 2006 than I will.
K Patt for Matt Clement
MUA HA HA HA HA HA
Hey Mark, You know I’m a USC grad too right?
Jacque The Monkey
A) Racist?
B) Clever Peter Gabriel reference?
C) Close call, but the reference is just obscure enough not to be understood by the masses, and therefore it should be avoided due to the fact that everything is assumed to be racist anyway, so probably not a good idea.
The good news is that this thing is turning into SUCH a trainwreck… ALREADY… that 2006 Gamecasts are gonna be f’n gold on a daily basis. Gold I tells ya.
I can almost visualize the “Brave!” right now.
How about me?
Well happy birthday Jesus, sorry your party is so lame…
test
Any chance Andy could give me a weekly column now? We could call it Jock on Jock, where I follow the exploits of the Cubs’ new French right fielder.
#5….can’t undestand a word written in that piece……or should I say piece of shit. This latest Cub move is so bland it is hard to be anything but simply bored by it.
Please bring me & my lofty 4.57 ERA back to the NL. I can’t stand that DH position, what the fuck is that?
Maybe we can change Matt to Mathieu Murton and call the whole outfield “French Toast.”
On second thought, Jacques the Minkey has a certain ring* to it.
*Something Mr. Jones** will not be acquiring as a Cub.
**A whole new Dylanesque angle on the nickname problem:The Thin Man*** (“Something is happening here/But you don’t know what it is/
Do you, Mister Jones?”)
*** There’s probably a movie angle here, but I’m too tired and in fear of disappearing up my own footnote to pursue it.
Tangeld up in Cubby bleu!
This, from Harball Times:
“I also noticed that Dusty Baker led the world in pitchouts with 70 (the average was about 23), while Frank Robinson of the Nationals called for only four. What’s even more interesting is that the difference apparently had no effect on the running game; the Cubs caught 40 of 90 (31%) would-be base stealers while the Nats caught 41 of 76 (35%).
Once again, empirical evidence of the gut feeling that Dusty just might be succesfully replaced by a Dippy Drinking Bird: He “guesses wrong” (for no apparent reason, other than to appear as if he’s “making moves,” earning his $15 mil, when you least expect it, crazy like a fox, or just plain stupid…), pitcher goes down in the count, baserunner knows the pitchout isn’t coming on the next one, but the subsequent stolen base doesn’t matter so much anyway because the pitcher’s so pissed off at Dusty he just lays one over the plate…
Hendry should have been run out of town midway through the 2004 debacle. Yet most of the guys on this website have wasted the last 18 months on blaming Dusty. Yes, Dusty should be fired. But why are you giving Hendry a free pass? Look, quit focusing on Dusty. Focus on getting Hendry’s fat ass fired. Run Hendry out of town and let the new GM worry about cutting off Dusty’s head.
Free pass? Are you kidding me? I can’t even walk in front of Desipio Tower. I have to go about 6 blocks out of my way every day.
from Kiley’s article on Jock today:
“The Cubs hired manager Dusty Baker three years ago in part because of the expectation he would be a draw for free agents. Well, chalk one up for Baker.”
Umm, where the hell am I playing in 2007? Couldn’t let K-Patt play RF til July, trade him, then insert me? You know, save some pesos? Stupid female doges.
We don’t give Hendry a free pass, but if the Bears score in the third quarter Sunday, we’ll give him a free doughnut if he presents the ticket stub from the game at any Chicagoland Dunkin Donuts location
mmmmmm. Donuts!!!
Roses are red violets are blue..Tony Dungy’s kid is dead I wish you all were too.
Happy Holidays!
Are you guys tired of my gimmick yet?
Gimmick…..Here’s your gimmick. Ass wipe.
#26 has never heard of me.
If you’re going to be an expert, get your fucking math right. 40/90=44.4%. 41/76 (gee, that’s more than half) isn’t 35%, it’s 53.9%. So either your facts aren’t straight, or your numbers aren’t right. Either way, there’s a BIG difference.
And maybe Dusty is pitching out because Barrett has a weak arm, and Frank isn’t pitching out because Brian Schneider and Gary Bennett have good arms. (Or maybe Frank’s napping, whatever.) In other words, if Dusty _didn’t_ pitch out and keep the runners honest, that percentage might be even higher.
I have gotten yours 29…….HA HA HA………..Merry f-ing christmas douche bag.