Watch me turn on the jets!

Sometimes guys on losing teams become scapegoats. Sometimes those same guys are simply reasons the team loses in the first place. Most recent former Cub Michael Barrett fits comfortably into the reason category.

Cubs General Manager Jim Hendry worked late into the night (on an XL pizza) to trade Barrett to the San Diego Padres and in exchange received journeyman backup catcher Rob Bowen and a minor leaguer hitting .211 in class A.

Somebody might as well start engraving Jim’s name on the Executive of the Year award right now.

By now you’ve heard the term “addition by subtraction” a few thousand times. As Michael Scott once said to Andy Bernard, “That doesn’t make any sense. You mean addition by addition.”

Fine, whatever. Barrett’s departure is a good thing for the Cubs. A year ago, before he caught a foul ball with his testicles, Barrett was a .300 hitting catcher fresh off a year when he won the Silver Slugger. He was the pride and joy of Jim Hendry’s “guys I picked off the bargain bin” collection.

Now? Now he’s just the most prominent– in what you believe will be a series of moves to un-Dusty the Cubs. If you think this move gets made without Lou Piniella standing in the Cubs dugout, you’re a dope.

Barrett epitomized what was wrong with the Dusty Baker era in Chicago. Dusty, ever the optimist when it came to his players–well, only the veterans–only saw the good in his players as a reason to excuse the bad. Neifi Perez can’t hit, can’t get on base, looks like he just ate a live turkey? That’s OK, because he can play three positions!

Michael Barrett calls a lousy game, can’t block a baseball with anything other than his manbag and gets lost on the bases in Alou-like proportions? Yeah, but the dude almost won the batting title! He only finished about 100 plate appearances and 30 points away. So close!

Piniella looked at Barrett and saw his flaws. It doesn’t make you a pessimist because these babies are big enough to drive a truck through. Barrett’s acquisition has always been a head scratcher. In 2004 the Cubs were built around a powerful lineup and great starting pitching. Sounds like the kind of team who needs a tough as nails, defense-first catcher to keep the staff in line, right? Nah. Let’s trade for a guy who was coming off a season in which he spent most of the time in the minors and hit .208 when he did play in the big leagues. A guy who’s only solid offensive season had come in a year (1999) when he played more games at third base than catcher.

Barrett never really took to catching. He learned how to put the gear on and he found a catcher’s mitt, but that was about it. Greg Maddux was so impressed by him that in Barrett’s first season with the Cubs, Greg politely asked to have Gabor Bako catch for him.

But Barrett responded by hitting. He hit 16 homers in each of this three full seasons with the Cubs, he hit at least .276 each year drove in around 60 runs and was one of the few Cubs with an actual idea what to do at the plate other than just swing really hard and hope.

That helped build Barrett a nice little fan base. Mostly teenage girls and casual fans who only knew of him what they saw WGN or Comcast put on the screen under his chest when he’d start an at bat. Solid average, decent power.

The rest of us were troubled by what he did when he wasn’t batting. The strange plays in the field like the time he tried to throw Adam Dunn out twice in the same play, or the time he threw a dropped third strike into LEFT field in Philadelphia. He picked fights with Roy Oswalt (twice in one game when one was enough), with Dave Roberts (Dave Roberts? What did Dave do, pet Barrett’s dog too hard?) and with AJ Pierzynski.

Ironically, I defended Barrett for slugging AJ. That SOB had it coming. Besides, the Cubs’ season had long since ended and I was getting tired of watching them bend over and take it.

This year, he apparently decided to use Cubs games as a gallery in which he could display the depths of his defensive inadequacies for the world to see. You saw his Cubs’ career implode forever the day before Memorial Day in Los Angeles. In the span of about three hours he misread the Dodgers’ pitching signals and tried to steal third with two outs (he was out from here to Bakersfield) and botched a rundown so completely that he put the winning run 90 feet away with nobody out. It was all so dumb, so obvious and so non-big leaguer like.

It all came to a final head that Friday against the Braves when Carlos beat the hell out of him. Carlos was in the wrong, completely, for yelling at him in the dugout in front of God and TV cameras. Carlos was in the wrong when he punched him. Piniella sent Carlos to the showers, told him to clean up and go home and cool off. Barrett, proving that Mensa membership has its privileges decided that right there, during the game, when he should be—you know, watching the game—was a good time to run down the clubhouse to try to talk some sense into Carlos.

Look, mister, there’s… two kinds of dumb… a guy that gets naked and runs out in the snow and barks at the moon, and, a guy who does the same thing in my living room. First one don’t matter, the second one you’re kinda forced to deal with.

Piniella ended his press conference that day by yelling, “Get me somebody who can catch the ball and run the bases!”

Gee, who do we think he was referring to?

Lou has managed some very good teams in his 3,000+ game career. His 1990 World Champion Reds had the great Joe Oliver behind the plate. The 116-win Mariners had Dan Wilson. Their Cooperstown invites will get lost in the mail.
It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have a catcher who can hit, but you can see why he’s comfortable just having a catcher who can catch.

Catchers do a lot of stuff during games that we never see. They have to make adjustments, they have to know the hitters, they have to know their pitchers. You can’t have your dumbest guy catching.

Until this season I had very little problem with Barrett. I probably should have looking back on that long list of stunts he pulled over the last four years. Mainly, I just poked fun at how the pitchers seemed to do better with Hank White behind home plate and all that.

Then, Koyie Hill, yes that great Koyie Hill duplicated the feat. He’s nobody’s definition of a top-notch catcher. He can’t hit and never has, and defensively he’s average at best. But he looked much more competent than Barrett behind the plate.

After games the media would ask him about pitch selection and he’d talk about how he likes to hang out with the next day’s starting pitcher in the outfield during batting practice talking about the other team’s lineup and how to attack them. What a novel idea.

Koyie Hill was making Michael Barrett look bad. And Michael was making it easy.

Maybe Barrett will go to San Diego and get his season straightened out. He’s not likely to be the every day catcher, he’ll probably split time pretty evenly with Josh Bard. Maybe at his age (30 is old for most catchers) the lighter schedule will help him pick it up. He played better in Chicago after Lou started playing Koyie more.

But the Padres aren’t going to make Michael a good defensive catcher. It’s not too late for it, there was never a time for it.

The Cubs’ catching situation is up in the air. Bowen and Hill are probably going to split time. Neither has ever hit well in the big leagues (though Bowen’s numbers this year, when compared to the season Barrett had before he came to the Cubs make Bowen look like Yogi Berra). Hank is facing likely season-ending back surgery. Maybe there’s another trade in the works? I doubt it. At least not for a catcher.

Make no mistake. This trade wasn’t about Rob Bowen or the minor leaguer they got. This was about the Cubs feeling they would be a better team without Michael Barrett than with him. And nothing that’s happened so far this year makes it seem like that’s a foolish idea.