It’s trade deadline week! So when the Cubs make moves, I’m going to break them down for you.
On Friday, the Cubs sent the Giants some cash for recently DFA’d lefthander Derek Holland. You probably remember Holland for two things. He was actually good six years ago, and he and Ryan Dempster do the same, gawdawful Harry Caray “impression.”
Len Kasper and your grandma are going to love him. That’s about it. He bombed as a starter in San Francisco this year, starting the season 1-4 with a 6.75 ERA in seven starts. They banished him to the bullpen, where was bad, just not as bad, going 1-0, with a 5.03 ERA in 34 innings. Righthanders absolutely light him up to the tune of .293/.386/.636/1.022 with a whopping 17 homers in just 184 at bats. He did have success against lefties though, holding them to .182/.276/.195/.471 with just one extra base hit (a double) allowed in 77 at bats. Used in the proper role (i.e. only against lefties) he’ll have some utility. But use him against a righty and you’ll need to hand out helmets in the left field bleachers.
We’ve already started getting the “great clubhouse guy” propaganda:
Holland is a top echelon clubhouse guy with a Ryan Dempster sense of humor.
— Bruce Levine (@MLBBruceLevine) July 26, 2019
Which would be great if anybody gave a shit. Or, if it were true. And honestly, that had to be a Bruce Levine imposter account. They didn’t use the space period at the end!
If anybody in the clubhouse enjoys this crap, we’re doomed already:
And then there’s this horseshit with the equally unfunny Dempster:
This season just keeps getting worse. I can’t believe a team that claims to have no money spent some on this moron.