David Huh of all people has the first intelligent (I know, I was shocked, too) article on exactly what Magglio Ordonez went to Austria for last year. I knew sausage would be prominently involved. Apparently he got “shock wave” treatments on his knee. Here’s a comforting quote from an American doctor on why shock wave threapy isn’t sanctioned in the US.
“We’re not sure what the shock waves are doing to the tissue,” said Dr. Sherwin Ho of the University of Chicago School of Medicine.
It could be anything from “Ooh, it tickles!” to “Hey, why is my knee turning black and starting to smell?”
We won’t know until Pegleg Ordonez…you know…plays some baseball on it. But for his part, Peggy’s pretty sure his knee is sound.
Seabiscuit’s Jockey on Corey, Farns, Barrett, E-ramis and Big Z.
Scott Skiles is so excited about getting the Bulls back to .500 that you can hear him yawning.
Bruce Weber says it’s easy to get ready for Iowa. You know Steve’s going to play the white guys way too much and that balding guy will take lots of bad shots. Oh, and Pierre Pierce likes to go backdoor…and hard.
Rick Morrissey says you “have to give Jerry Krause credit” for the current Bulls’ team. Sure, I’ll give him credit for the 0-9 start. How’s that?
Groucho says Kirk Hinrich’s an All-Star. Huh?
Mariotti puts down the doughnut to teach us nothing about Charlie Weis’ dual-role.
Mike Kiley says that E-ramis’ agent is Adam Katz, the guy trying to free Sammy from his ivy covered prison. This means, of course, that Kiley wants to give E-ramis a shirtless hug.
The Wizard of Roz says that Frank Thomas should be glad that the White Sox finally have a bigger asshole on the team than him!
Roger Clemens certainly enjoyed all the press he got about how he was pitching for the Astros because he loved the game and wanted to shower with Andy Pettitte and how he didn’t care that he was only making $5 million. So what does he do? He bends Houston over the table and rams a big $22 million arbitration request up their…Astros. $22 million? This from a guy who thinks it’s neato to have all of his kids’ names start with K? I’m sure it was coincidence, right? How do you like your chubby hero now, Houston? Muahahahahahahaha!
The Marlins are serious about this Carlos Delgado stuff. Here’s my prediction. He’ll sign with the Mets and the Marlins will look at the big pile of deferred cash they scraped together for Carlos and come shopping for Sammy. Hey, when have I steered you wrong? Oh, never mind that.
Mike Cameron now says he’ll play right field. It won’t matter, he’s as good as gone.
The Boston Globe on whether Doug Eyechart or Kevin “Hey look, a camera!” Millar ought to play first for the Sox next year.
America’s finest news source says that they’ve finally invented bulletproof sleeves!
Hey, I just thought of something hilarious. Since Corey Patterson struck out so often last year, what if I spelled his name “Korey” instead of the way he usually spells it? Wouldn’t that be the funniest thing ever?
What do you guys think?
I like it!
Peggy? What a great idea for a nickname!
Crap. No pictures anymore?
I heard that Clemens is going to make some extra money by changing his shirt 6 times during the arbitration hearing, then covering the shirts in rhinestones and selling them on his wife’s website.
Does Clemens’ kid still walk to school holding his droolbucket underneath his own chin?
No Sloth,
He rides the short school bus to school. His seat has a custom drool bucket adhered to the back of the seat in front of him.
If he was on foot, he’d not only have to use the drool bucket, but he’d also have to wear a helmet.
Crap.
I’ll have to figure out why the pictures aren’t working.
WordPress is probably filtering the img tag. This nifty italics above the comments box says what XHTML tags are allowed and img isn’t one of them.
I don’t even get the nifty italics anymore.
We need post Survivor commentary Andy. Interested? Jake?
MIA, here’s my Survivor recap from season 1:
Dick Hatch pranced around nude and beat out 15 other idiots to win a million bucks. He then didn’t report it, so now he gets to prance nude around a jail cell!
I think the Boobtube section of the messageboard will chock-full-o-Survivor crap this season. I can’t stop watching that show. Even when they go all Lesbo.
I’d START watching it again if it went all lesbo.
Assuming the lesbos were of the Portia de Rossi variety, NOT the Ellen ilk.
Let’s look at the glass half full folks! Barrett had a good season, and so did Patterson. He hit 20+ HR last year.
don’t look now, but your “almost back to .500′ Bulls and their bandwagon are down at Boston…
Illinois football player E.B. Halsey has been learning from Luther Head. And no, it would not be on how to shoot a 3-pointer or how to win 18 straight games…
(Parts of the following are from IlliniBoard.com and from the Champaign-Urbana News-Gazette.)
No decision on disciplinary action by Illinois head coach Ron Zook has been made as of now on the new E.B. Halsey controversy.
Halsey was charged with unauthorized use of a motor vehicle, according to today’s Springfield News-Sun in Ohio.
Halsey pleaded innocent Tuesday in Clark County, Ohio, court.
Halsey had been driving east in a rented Mercury Sable on Interstate 70 when he was stopped in Madison County, Ohio, for driving 92 MPH in a 65 MPH zone, according to the News-Sun story. The officer did not know at that time that the car had been reported as stolen, and let Halsey go. Halsey was later stopped again by troopers when they were told of the stolen car report.
Two passengers, Gustavo Mina and Darryl Gent of Elizabeth, N.J., were found with marijuana on them according to the story. Both passengers were also charged with unauthorized use of a motor vehicle and also were charged with use and possession of marijuana.
—–
Illini fans may remember that Halsey came to Illinois with at least a bit of concern around him.
Halsey was being charged for statutory rape involving himself and some friends when he was in high school in New Jersey. The girl involved was 15.
After a long investigation, it was the determined that the charges had no merit and that the girl had made up most, if not all, of the story. All charges were dropped, but Halsey had to wait until the following fall to make it on the field.
Halsey said at that time that he had learned not to be around the wrong people.
Should briefly add that this incident in Ohio took place on Saturday.
Also, there is some belief on IlliniBoard that the car being reported as stolen may have simply been a mistake by whatever authority reported it as stolen.
Sorry, what was that?
Bulls up 2 in the 3rd.
I missed all 6 of my shots in the 3rd, and still we’re only down 1…
Only 6?
If only I could score, I’d be averaging a double-double every night.
whichever team finally decides to make some of me will win this;
Chi = 3 of 15
Bos = 3 of 13
How much did I re-sign Mark Blount for, again?
Toine, my 43%, 33% and 82% shooting numbers make your 41%, 31% and 53% look even worse. If that’s possible.
Bam, 22 points. C’s, up 5.
4.9 million, baby.
just look at my line tonight – 14 minutes, 0-3 field goals, 0 points, 3 fouls, 2 turnovers.
10-16, 26 points, 7 rebounds, 2 steals, 3 blocks and 5 turnovers.
I’ll see your 26 points and raise you 3 rebounds.
Oh, and the W.
Down 10 with under a minute to go.
Just love this battle of wits between Skiles and Doc Rivers…
are now 18-20 (.474)!
I’d found this site a few years back and loved it. Left me rolling while I read Dolan’s take on the Chicago Sports hacks, some of whom I like but appreciate the barbs nonetheless. But I lost it. I forgot about it and occasionally remembered it in winter when I was fiending for some idle Cubs banter. Today I was on Baseball Reference looking at the 1989 Cubs Season stats. Yes, I’m that kind of loser. I saw a message from one of the readers of the site praising that team and clicked the link… Hey, I’m back. Did you miss me? Not likely. But I promise not to stray again.
Keep up the good stuff fellas. I love this Sh**
“wrong people” = underage girls?
riiiight
Hey! I’ve been stopped driving a rental car 92 in a 65 zone. It cost me a $440 donation to the Steuben Co. (Ind.) Court. Good thing it wasn’t stolen.
T.J., good thing they didn’t find that 15 year old in the trunk either.
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