The Illini had their second tough Big Ten road test last night, going to Michigan State where MSU was 95-6 at home since the Breslin Center opened and 10-0 this year. Incredibly, MSU hadn’t played a home game against a number one team since 1976. That says more about the Big Ten than I care to consider.

The Spartans are a tough, well-coached team but their biggest weakness meant they had almost no chance of beating Illinois. A team without a point guard can’t beat a team that uses three of them at the same time, all the time.

During a nine minute stretch of play in the first half, during which the referees never stopped play (not for a turnover or a foul, just twice for both of MSU’s 30 second timeouts), Illinois got seven threes from their backcourt. Luther Head, Deron Williams and Dee Brown all made two and Rich McBride made one. ESPN had to squeeze both the under 12 and under eight minute TV timeouts in within nine seconds of game time. That made for some great viewing.

Out of bounds, MSU.
Commerical-commercial-commercial-Sal Masakela yelling at us from the Winter X-games.
Dribble, dribble, out of bounds, MSU.
Commercial-commercial-commercial-hey, Sal’s still the only black guy at the X-games!

In the second half, Illinois went 12:38 without missing a shot, including 12 consecutive made field goals. I’m not sure what a number one team is supposed to look like on the road, but I’m pretty sure Illinois looked like it last night.

What is the deal with MSU center Paul Davis? Why does he always look like he just crapped his pants? It’s either that or he’s about to cry. It’s distressing. He’s always been horribly overrated, and I love it when announcers can’t understand why Izzo’s always so pissed at him, but does he have to wander around like somebody just tied his dog to a moving car?

Whoop-de-damn-do!
This is as happy as I get. Wow!

The Illini now have a two-game lead over Wisconsin in the Big Ten race and it’s actually a three game lead over MSU because Illinois has already clinched the tie-breaker against the Spartans. Ho hum, two straight outright Big Ten titles, and four conference titles and a conference tournament title in five years. I feel like Paul Davis now.

(Within nine minutes of this article being posted, Jake will have a rebuttal about how many titles Duke has had in the last 20 years, and while it’ll make him feel good, nobody reading it will care.)

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Rick Morrissey on the Illini. He’s right in that the best thing about them is that if (when) they finally lose it’ll be because they got beaten, not because they didn’t show up. Although, we did see them nearly punt away a home game to Iowa while looking ahead to the roadies in Madison and East Lansing. But Pierre Pierce was apparently too busy working on an elaborate robbery-rape scheme to concentrate on his free throws.

Skip Myslenski on MSU missing what little chance they had.

So far this year, the few times Illinois has needed a clutch basket, Luther Head has taken it upon himself to make it.

Look, I’m a Notre Dame fan, too, and I’ve known for years that Digger Phelps is completely full of shit.

Jeromy Burnitz?

Wow, we don’t think Sammy just re-watched Gladiator, do we?

Phil Rogers says Sammy forgot how to hit in 2001. No, wait, I thought geniuses like Dave Kaplan and Mike North decided that was when he got off the steroids? No?

Steve Stone is going to sign a deal with the Score and he’ll have a one-hour show just like Hub Arkush!

Moron Jeromy.

Greg Couch says the Illini love the pressure.

For all the talk about how weak the NBA Atlantic is, how come the Bulls can’t beat anybody from there?

Mariotti puts down the doughnut to pretend he’s already in Jacksonville.

The Wizard of Roz says that Stone will put the heat on Dusty from the Score. Too bad nobody listens to it anymore. Oh, and John McDonough says that Stone should be in the Hall of Fame as a broadcaster. I don’t think John’s visibility is particularly good right now. Maybe Rozner interviewed him at O’Shea’s, too.

This is my favorite baseball story of the day. A guy named Bob McManaman (that just sounds like a name Fletch would make up on the spot, doesn’t it?), writes about the options the Diamondbacks have for centerfield. He says that Burnitz is going to sign with the Cubs or Pirates, but that Eric Byrnes of the A’s and Mike Cameron of the Mets are available, and that the Padres want to trade Jay Payton.

Huh? The Padres?

Let’s read this part:
“Earlier this winter, San Diego’s Jay Payton was also drawing interest from the Diamondbacks.”

OK, we can assume that he knows the Padres traded Payton on December 20. But it isn’t written that way is it. If you didn’t know that Payton was a Red Sox, you’d have no idea that he is. I have a feeling Bob doesn’t know it, either.

It’s college football signing day! Hot damn! Is it bad that I could give a shit? I just find it hard to invest any effort or interest in what college gave a 17 year old enough free booze and hookers to get him to play football for them until he tears up a knee and ends up changing the oil in my car.

Seth Davis says that Illinois and BC have to lose! It’s good for them. Oh, shut up. Losing’s only good for…the team that beats you.

Don’t you get the feeling that the last time we’ll see the Pope alive is on that tape of him trying to throw the dove out of his window? As Al Czervik once said to Ty Webb when a crow stole his ball, “It’s good luck! Right?”

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