You know what I’m going to miss about Sammy? I’m serious here. I’m going to miss the way he made reporters visibly uncomfortable by being nice to them one minute and looking like he was going to jam a bat down their neck the next. What, you don’t think cloying little assbags like George Ofman, Bruce Levine, Mike Kiley and the Jockey deserve that from time to time?
“Dude. I just want to call the dude and find out what happened, dude.” Dusty, how about you worry about the ’05 Cubs and let the ’04 mess go?
Lee Mazzilli says he won’t prejudge Sammy. Yeah, I’m sure he has no opinion about Sammy.
Who are these dopes, and why do they think it was a “chance” meeting when Peter Angelos bumped into Andy MacPhail at THE OWNER’S MEETINGS? Oooh, what are odds!?! The owner of the Orioles bumped into the president of the Cubs at the OWNER’S MEETINGS! What a shock! I thought they’d bump into each other at a Barbie Collectibles Convention!
Jeromy says he knows the Cubs fans are going to love him. Sure we will. Right after we duct tape you to an outbound Greyhound bus.
Charlie Weis says he likes his first recruiting class. Sure he does. What’s he supposed to say? “Man, we’re gonna suck!”
Ron Zook is fired up. But then he’s always fired up. And I guarantee you that if he can’t pronounce Illinois, there’s no way in hell he can pronounce Mendenhall.
What do you know? Deron Williams practices shooting! How novel!
Teddy Greenstein says Notre Dame and Illinois will do better next recruiting season. Whatever. Like anybody really knows if any of these kids are going to pan out at any school.
Mariotti puts down the doughnut to be abhorred that Sammy wouldn’t apologize. How about you apologize, Jay, for wasting ink, paper and our time for the last 12 years?
Did the Sun Times send Mike Kiley to Baltimore for one last beej?
Check out the lineup the Sun Times posted in this half-assed Toni Ginetti effort. Corey batting second? Todd Walker hitting seventh? Kerry Wood the opening day starter? Hand me the ludes.
Jim Hendry says, “I like this team a lot.” Translated it means, “I can now walk through the clubhouse without getting a headache…or pissed on.”
Chris DeLuca says…oh, who cares what he says about anything?
The Wizard of Roz with the greatest hits from the Sosa presser.
Baseball America’s Kevin Goldstein on the trade.
Peter King says he doesn’t know if Brett Far-vuh-ruh is going to retire. Hey, thanks for writing!
There’s a mohel in New York suspected of giving his “subjects” herpes. Guh.
America’s finest news source says that some of America’s most prominent alarmists are excited about the bird flu!
The Empire carpet guy also has a cheesy talk-show setup on some commercials, but he’s more sophisticated, his was intended to be a joke.
How come no mention of the dopey full page ads Sosa bought in the Sun Times and Trib? “It’s been an honor to play for the best fans in baseball. I was proud to be a Cub. My heartfelt thanks to the Cubs organization, my teammates and the fans of Chicago for 13 wonderful years. Thank you Chicago–I love you! I also resent the inference that anyone would think that Wrigley Field is no longer my house, buddy.”
Yeah, MacPhail just bumped into Angelos just like I used to do after I would clear the ring of a couple of brutha’s and then I’d back up and bump into a former adversary. We’d circle each other warily for a while and then one of us (usually the former bad guy) would stick out his hand in a sign of truce. I would gage the reaction of the crowd for a few heartbeats as I whipped my bald head from one side of the arena to the other. Then, I would take his hand and the immediate electrifying chemistry would blow the roof off the joint as a Mega Union was just consumated. Until I got backstabbed and we would fight for the title in 6 months.
I think MacPhail and Angelos met just like that.
The post-Sammy era begins in truly capitalistic fashion, with merchandise…
http://www.cafepress.com/solongsammy
The post-Sammy era begins in truly capitalistic fashion, with merchandise…
http://www.cafepress.com/solongsammy
We could use more Hulk Hogan.
Sam-Me has no class. Reading the report of what he said at the press conference made me slightly nauseous. I acknowledged the fact that Sam-Me had to go, but until I read that interview I was not a Sam-Me hater. I am now.
I hope that when the Cubs send the Orioles their share of Sam-Me’s salary the check bounces.
I actually quoted Desipio today.
What do you think I’m going to quote? Some shmuck’s brilliant ideas about
… how Dusty Baker NEEDS to break up Todd Walker’s right-handed bat from all the rest of the righties?
nice line about the Orioles’ “set.” Seriously, that looks like Kramer’s living room.
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