Good. If you’re still reading, your company obviously has a lax internet usage policy — or at least you assume it does.
Like I said, the first Survivor recap of this season is less about what actually went down, and more about what we really care most about at Desipio — who’s the hottest.
Judging strictly from the written bio’s you might think it was Janu, a Vegas showgirl. You’d be wrong, and that’s exactly why you don’t waste your time going to shows in Vegas unless it’s being held at a place called the Spearmint Rhino.
What I think you might say, and by you I mean Andy specifically, is Kim. Kim is what I’d call ah-ight. For being stuck on a deserted island, I’d even grant that she’s slightly better than ah-ight. But if I was stuck on a deserted island, I’d much rather be over on Koror with Jen the nanny (No, the one on the right BC!). She’s not gotten the screen time that Kim has, or even Angie the tattooed-and-pierced-cover-yourself-for-Chrissakes outcasat, but hopefully that’s only temporary. That said, I don’t think Kim would’ve been cast over Sarah Laine in Wild Things 3 or anything (yup, there was also a Wild Things 2, where have you been? 3 is much better — I’m sure Sloth will agree).
Then again, Andy might be in the I-can’t-spell-my-own-name-Stephenie camp. If she stays much longer she’s going to have more impressive tan lines than Barbara Borges (look ‘er up when you get home, Sloth and the rest of you degenerates). The nice thing about Stephenie is she’s actually tough and competitive enough to stick around for awhile, though I question her open pre-tribal council lobbying. That usually doesn’t work out so well.
You know what else doesn’t work out well? Applying for Survivor without knowing how to freakin’ swim!!! I’m talking about you, Willard! You’re old and you still rock two earrings — great! Cool, even! Maybe you could have spent less time in the jewelry store upon being selected for the show and hired someone to teach you a more useful swim technique than the sidestroke.
And how about, Caryn? Everyone knows that the older Survivors have to have a whole lotta charm to keep themselves off the chopping block, and being in-your-face with people on Day 4 is about as charming as Paris’ Sidekick getting hacked and me having to change my number. I’m just kidding Paris, it didn’t bother me all that much. In fact, I’m pretty much over it (that was safe for work by the way, right?).
Finally, I’d be remiss in highlighting this year’s crop of Boston Rob and Colby-wannabes without a tip of the hat to Bobby Jon, Coby and James. Coby should have been prepared for a possible surprise factor to the official start of the show by wearing something besides a dry-clean only pink shirt, skort and his favorite Manolo Blahniks. Bobby Jon has no first-step and has already been beaten to both Kim and Jen — though maybe he’s holding out for Steph. And James should have worked a little harder on his one-liners as he’s now not only embarrassing himself — but anyone that ever even considered earning a living as a steelworker.
Until next week, I’m off in search of a couple of pinches of protein.
Has it been confirmed I have a voice? Yeah, my pecs are bigger than some girls’ jugs, but I couldn’t bring myself to wear my man-siere (or “bro”) to the island.
All I know is: What’s up with the hairy pits on the tatoo broad. Them’s nas-TAY!
The ACC isn’t exactly known for its defense either there Jake. That ugly Duke/Georgia Tech game the other night notwithstanding of course. The Pac-10, however, the past couple years is worse defensively than any other major conference. I don’t know what is going on out there. Howland at UCLA may change that a little bit once he gets more of his players in there.
For comparision, look at Indiana. They are horrible offensively (Essentially it’s “Give the ball to Bracey and see what he can do” most of the time), but they play hard defense and mix it up and can frustrate teams on the defensive end. Therefore, while they still aren’t that good, they have played well in the Big 10, and have an outside (with a capital O) chance at an NCAA bid.
As for Lute, I just think he was tired of all the Redick talk and figured he would speak up for his player. Nothing wrong with it, other than the fact it makes him look like he’s whining. Probably got that attribute from the time he spent coaching at Iowa.
On Wake Forest, it looked like both of us were wrong for picking them as National Champs. I thought Wake could improve their defense just enough so they could stop somebody when their shots weren’t falling. It doesn’t look like that has happened. They may make the Sweet 16 on pure talent alone but after that it looks dicey as of now.
Stephenie is for me.
And that picture of Paris actually makes it look like she had jugs.
Andy — the hacked pics from her cell phone are indisputible evidence that she HAS jugs —- and they’re quite spectacular.
I’m an ex-Marine, maggot. Think I don’t know how to swim? I was swimming laps around the Japs before you were born. Which is probably why I swim slowly…I’m old.
Nah, Paris ain’t got Juggs, but that pic of her is probably the best ever I’ve seen…way better than the s**t they had in Playboy.
Lets keep in mind the first rule of juggs: proportion, proportion, proportion. If the Ds are along for the ride on a deuce, deuce and a half, they are trumped by the Bs on a waif. This is not to discount other important factors but it’s good solid common ground.
and here i show up at ddesipio hoping for a virtual waiting room of hell rant. i love the hoops, but this is ticket day. where’s my rant?
They sated me with tickets. What can I say?
andy, i normally work from home sats. i went into the office specifically to get several machines going. i was shut out. my wife at home scored 4 in the bleachers to the 8/12 game v. cards (i did not know that we could get 6). since being home i have 6 in the stands against mil (last thurs left in jun) and another 6 v houston in sep.
the moral of the story is stay home…… (my thought is that they are treating the proxy of large companies as one).
on an aside, i like bleachers ticks only better than directly behind home plate. if you sit center left and little up, you can see the pitching well. once, i fell into some company ticks 3 rows directly behind the plate. the scouts were one row behind me and the radar gun was next to me. that’s nice watching. it was cool listening to the scouts, and it was priceless heckling A-Rod (Texas days).
did you get boston?
Regarding Salim Stoudamire vs. J.J. Redick: It’s okay. I know that no good basketball is played West of about Illinois. I know that Duke is the supreme gods of basketball. ESPN and Dicky Nausea, er, Dick Vitale, say so, therefore, it must be true. In fact, Duke’s undefeated, right? They certainly haven’t lost to Virginia Tech or someone like that, right? Hey, check Stoudamire’s and Redick’s field goal percentages again. They’re not even close! Two final thoughts: (1) J.J. Redick is such a great guy that everyone who’s not a Duke fan hates him, and (2) regarding Washington State: Yes, I watched the game and it was the ugliest of ugly wins, but that’s not basketball, that’s Dick Bennett’s pathetic Snoozeball, which ought to be banned from the planet.
AZ, I always welcome your insightful comments.
I did make mention of the Virginia Tech loss and if you’ve been listening to Vitale this year, you know he’s much more enamored with Carolina than this little Duke team that could.
The posted shooting per centages speak for themselves to a degree. But I also think factoring in the extended minutes for every other player listed — and the unquantifiable number of garbage minutes Salim enjoys in the Pac-10.
The point I was trying to make is that it’s a trivial debate at best considering both players are Wooden Award nominees leading their teams towards conference title contentions. I don’t expect a coach of Olson’s stature to resort to singling out players from other conferences to justify his side of a purely subjective conversation. Same goes for Ernie Kent. Most coaches don’t have the time to scout other teams from other conferences, or worry about any Dickie V. slights. Obviously Oregon and Arizona’s priorities are somewhat different.
Vitale would have plenty to say about players like Salim, Hassan Adams, Nate Robinson, etc. if he had more opportunities to do their games. But the Pac-10 lies in the Fox Sports bed, and because Fox Sports does an inferior job promoting their product and landing parallel, recognizable on-air talent —- Lute and the Pac-10 are fighting a losing battle with regards to appreciation, promotion and recognition of conferences such as the Big 10, Big 12, Big East, Conference USA, SEC, and of course the almighty ACC.
Why anyone besides an inbred Maryland fan would choose to hate the Messiah, errr J.J. Redick is really deserving of its own post. Unlike Salim, I doubt you’ll see him accused or suspended of conduct detrimental to his team — or visibly pouting and scowling on the court when shots aren’t falling or calls aren’t going his way. Same with Diener, McNamara, Lucas — which is why I’d rather have them and their sub-500 per centages on my team. I’d suggest Salim concentrate on leading his team, then maybe leading his team to a Final Four, then writing some original poetry and I may reconsider my opinion.
AZ, for real you are the man. Even though we disagree…
Now how about that Muhsin coup??? That’ll put a little umph in Rex’s rehab…
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