If it wasn’t so pathetic, it would be hilarious. Honestly, was anybody really that surprised when the Cubs announced that Kerry Wood was going to miss yet another spring training start? This time it’s his back. It’s either his back, or his elbow, or he’s cut his hand on a pop can (remember that one?), or he’s got vertigo… He makes Justin Morneau look like Cal Ripken and Lou Gehrig combined.
Supposedly, Mark Prior is on the mend and chances are probably pretty good (given Kerry’s proclivity for finding new body parts to maim) that he’ll actually get back before Kerry will. That could be the third week of the season. Or it could be August. Who the hell knows with these two?
The Illini wanted to play fast, but their version of fast.
The press is effective, but you have to score to use it.
Dan McGrath says that nobody tried to kill Bruce Pearl last night. Well, it looked like Ed McCants did with his first half shot selection.
Illinois probably matches up better with Arizona than with Oklahoma State, it’s just too bad John Lucas can’t do stupid stuff for the Wildcats.
Joah Tucker’s got some skills. He also plays no defense and if he cherrypicked in a pickup game at the Y like he did last night he’d get beaten up. Probably by his teammates. Tough to win a game when you’re playing four on five on the defensive end.
Luther says he’s playing “no matter what” tomorrow.
David Huh with eight (get it, eight!) keys to the Illini win. He’s so clever!
Phil Rogers is accusing other people of “not getting it?” He’s trying to be cute with Mark Buehrle, but it’s fun to see baseball’s most clueless dumbass throwing that around.
Mariotti puts down the doughnut to get giddy about the Illini.
Cleveland can’t figure out whether to play talented Grady Sizemore or old, always injured Juan Gonzalez? Hey, I’ll bet Dusty could help them out with this.
An AP survey says Mark McGwire might not have to try and figure out how to give a Hall of Fame speech. That’s good since he won’t be there “to talk about the past.” Interesting, though, Barry Bonds would get in. That makes sense though. Barry was a Hall of Famer before he blew up to absurd proportions, McGwire was just Steve Balboni.
Somewhere, Chip Caray was laughing and telling everybody his “Arby’s” joke.
Friend of Desipio Drew Lawrence with a “closer look” at Arizona-OSU.
Marty Burns handled the Illini game.
Hey, it’s West Virginia, maybe they were just cold?
America’s finest news source takes a look at the National Gonzo Press Club.
I threw 62 pitches in 4 innings.
Of a SIMULATED game. That would equate to nearly 140 innings of a simulated nine innings.
But the new 2005 Chevy Trailblazer’s a smooth ride. I’ll be selling those before the end of the year.
Hey c’mon, you’d start fires too, if you lived in West Viriginia. It’s not anything of value could be damaged.
So if he feels well enough Wood will throw a simulated game instead
of making a spring training start. Would someone please tell me what
a simulated game is? Is it like Cadaco/Ethan Allen All-Star
baseball where you take a little cardboard card and put it on a
spinner? Is it more high tech and played on a computer? If it
actually requires some physical effort, why is it called a game and
not just warming up, training or practice? Does someone actually
call balls and strikes? Do simulated batters get simulated hits? Do
simulated fielders make simulated errors? Are there simulated brush
back pitches followed by simulated charging the mound? When the
simulated game is over is there a simulated tv interview? Does
anyone keep simulated game statistics?
Obviously I do, god knows I’ve thrown enough of them.
One thing’s for sure, Stew–
Being a pussy? That’s ALL real. Ain’t nothin’ simulated about that, dawg.
Does anybody besides sox management read my columns without laughing yet?
I read your columns, Phil. Let me tell you: the Sox run a model organization, while the Cubs are TOTAL disarray
A simulated game is me playing MVP Baseball 2005 as myself. The crappy thing is when I get torched, I can’t blame Barrett for the pitch selection.
Thank you George, your updates are a thing of beauty.
Amen George!!!
C’mon guys. There’s plenty of great stuff in WV. After all, it’s wild and wonderful around here.
I just saw a commercial on TBS where Chip and Chipper are talking and fans ask for Caray’s autograph…and the announcer says, “there’s a new ace in town.” Bring back the Terror Alert system…Chip’s terrorizing us from Atlanta now.
I just allowed my first earned runs of the spring. Then I hit a Home Run. I’m awesome.
The next ad has me ragging on Don Sutton for never picking up the check. Then I thank the folks for coming out.
Oonga Boonga! Me have lots of big fly power! Any side of plate I powerful.
I have a very rare 1965 Chicago Cubs Baseball autographed by the whole team. Player like Ernie Banks and Ron Santo.http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&rd=1&item=5176779660&ssPageName=STRK:MESE:IT Only 3 Hours Left!!!! Thnx.
Happy Holidays Everyone.
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