National League East
Predicted order of finish:
1. Philadelphia
2. Atlanta
3. Florida
4. New York Mets
5. Washington
Phillies
They’ve been the best team in the division for three years and haven’t won it. They dumped the Gestapo tactics of Larry Bowa in favor of Charlie “How much colon do I lose this time” Manuel, so that should give them a short term boost.
Finally ridding themselves of Kevin Milwood seemed like a good idea and the Eric Milton experiment wasn’t too grand. So they turn their rotation over to Jon Lieber and friends. Jon will do what he always does. He’ll throw strikes, he’ll work fast, he’ll be murder on righthanded hitters and lefties will bounce balls off the facade of the bleachers.
They have a well balanced offense, though they really should just kick some dirt on what’s left of Mike Lieberthal. Plus, they have Kenny Lofton, which means they will make the playoffs and then find the most painful possible way to lose in the playoffs. Good times.
Jim Thome’s a lovable guy. I just look at him and try to not remember that he wanted to play for the Cubs. Sigh.
Braves
The Braves clinched the end of their run of division titles when they brought Chip Caray back. OK, that’s foolish, but they’ll lose this year, finally because their outfield is brutal, their shortstop is one strike away from spending a year in prison and John Smoltz’s arm will be in a sling by June.
John Smoltz is a great pitcher, but we forget that they moved him to the bullpen for a reason. Because he had a bad arm. You can’t just suddenly make a dominant starter out of him again. He might be a good starter again, but what’s that? A 13 win season with a 4.00 ERA? That’s what you’re already going to get out of Mike Hampton and more than you’ll probably get from John Thompson. That doesn’t spell division title.
Besides, if you’re really going to play Brian Jordan and Raul Mondesi in the outfield, you’re just asking for it.
Marlins
The Marlins have some real star power. Miguel Cabrera’s a stud. Carlos Delgado can still rake. Josh Beckett can be dominant. But man, there are some big holes here. Juan Pierre has a bad calf. They’re trying to trade for Bobby Higginson to help their outfield. Bobby Higginson?!? Alex Gonzalez stinks (just like his namesake), their bullpen is anonymous for good reason and they need a good season, not just a solid one, but a good one from Al Leiter. Oh, and if Dontrelle Willis would learn to throw a strike once and a while, that’d be a plus, too.
This is a good team. Good speed (when healthy), some power, but just too many questions with the guys throwing the pelota. Maybe next year.
Mets
You can’t argue with the Carlos Beltran signing. Who cares what they paid him? He’s a great player and they’ll have him for a long time.
I can argue all day long about what they paid for Pedro Martinez, though. It’s not just that he’s getting old and his arm is starting to fall off, but how can you saddle a rookie manager with the toughest pitcher to deal with in the game? If you think Sammy Sosa’s a prima dona you haven’t seen anything.
Remember when the Red Sox players put that huge Pedro bobblehead doll in their dugout? They did that to mock Pedro for not showing up on days he wasn’t pitching. You have to limit his pitch count, only to have him complain to the press every time you pull him. The Mets aren’t anywhere near a playoff spot and you only bring in a guy like this to put you over the top. No thanks.
David Wright’s going to be a star, but I think Jose Reyes is always going to be a Disabled List standout. Kaz Matsui stinks.
And the pitching behind Pedro? Tom Glavine’s done, Kris Benson’s never going to be that good, Victor Zambrano blows and Steve Trachsel has a bad back. Other than that, it’s great.
Nationals
I was reading some comments Frank Robinson had about his de facto leadoff man and center fielder Endy Chavez and Frank was saying that Endy has the tools but not the aptitude to lead off (sound like anybody we know?), and it reminded me of something Frank said two years ago about Chavez.
“When you bat Endy leadoff it’s like starting every game with one out.” Ouch.
So Endy might not enjoy much of a honeymoon in DC, but the rest of the Nationals will. They’ll give the Mets a run for last place, but just don’t have much pitching. Their offense has too many holes (Cristian Guzman’s a big one, and Vinny Castilla’s another), but they’ve got some pretty good players like Brad Wilkerson, Jose Vidro (when healthy) and Brian Schneider and Jose Guillen.
For one season at least, Washington won’t care. They’ll just think it’s fun to be able to go to a baseball game.
So they got that going for them, which is nice.
Andy, you are beginning to sound like me when it comes to Our Fearless Leader Dusty Baker… What in the world is going on here?
I think you just set a new record with how quickly you made me laugh out loud. I didn’t even get a chance to read a word, just seeing that picture at the top was enough.
What is the over and under on Carlos hitting batters and suspensions? I would say hit batters: 21 suspensions: 2…I can’t wait for that first at-bat Lassie has with Zambrano. Bets are Lassie walks up to home plate with full body armor. Of course his ass will have that open flap so Albie can dip his little pencil willy in with ease.
You mean games aren’t 5 innings long? Boy I am a fat retard.
Even though I died, I will be honored for putting that no good, trouble maker Jackie Robinson in his place. I spiked him good and I was a hero for it. I also have no business being anywhere near the hall of fame, much less in it. God I love Missourah. It’s the home of Chip Caray you know.
But now I live in lovely Orlando FL, folks. With my lovely imaginary wife and kids.
Do not make fun of that photo.
It’s my illegitimate grand-daughter.
Thanks for writing the entire Nationals preview on me — even though I will start the season at Triple-A!
Dolan,
I must say you’re starting to come around on Dusty a bit, and it isn’t a reach around to jack him off either.
I’m really surprised he had Dave Hansen cut, Calvin Murray and Will Ohman sent down to Iowa, and released Stephen Randolph. I guess they weren’t loobing him up and getting down on their hands and knees along with swallowing enough.
In Dusty’s mind, he really wanted Hanson over Dubois, Murray over Macias(there’s no getting rid of that Gremlin) and Ohman and Randolph over Leicester and probably Wuertz. Oh how bad did he want lefties. He just hates having righties beat him off.
Baker Basher
P.S. Wellemeyer might as well keep his apartment Iowa too. There’s no way in hell Dusty will have him on that opening day roster. The way Todd has thrown this spring, it’s a no brainer though.
Sounds like Basher could use a $20 bill and a bus pass to the “good” side of town. Hmm?
Dude knows what I am thinking. That’s some voodoo type stuff, dude.
I am the new spokesman for Chevy Chase bank. Nats fever has begun!
Dubois makes me look like a girl but I will still make the team because its the Cubs. If we had Pujols he would still be in AAA because I am out of options. Luckily for me its not about winning around here.
I think you’ll take my spot because we need a new Captain Tightpants.
It is all about winning here, dude. Gotta make room for Calvin Murray and Angel Echavarria, dude. Can’t go without a Captain Tightpants no how, dude. God sent me here to win, bro.
Look fellas, my pants are tight for a reason. Wind shear. They make me run oh so much faster. If they make me look pretty, well then that’s okay too.
Here’s what the opening roster should look like after tonight’s extra inning loss to Seattle:
Zambrano
Maddux
Dempster
Wood
Prior
Rusch
Hawkins
Remlinger
Leicester
Fox
Wuertz
Barrett
Lee
Walker
Nomar
Ramirez
Hollandsworth
Patterson
Burnitz
Hairston Jr.
Blanco
Dubois
Perez
Macias
Mitre or Wellemeyer(since Dusty wants to go with 12 pitchers)
*He should get rid of Macias and keep Kelton. Hairston Jr. can basically be a utility player like Macias and probably play it better.
But I’m sure we’ll either lose Kelton or really pull the dumbest move and send Dubois(who probably could be our best offensive outfielder) down to Iowa.
Dusty is just that ignorant folks. The guy is a complete jackass. He has no rationalization for any of his stupid moves.
We’ll see come Sunday.
Baker Basher
WALK OFF
Go check who made the team then talk. Now you all just look like dumbasses.
Those Washington fans kind of like us.
I can’t wait to cheer on the Expos, with or without Endy Chavez.
Did somebody say know it all dumbass?
Depending on how team health plays out this year, Hairston could be a key to keeping the offense moving. Blanco could be this years “neifi sparkplug perez”. I am also predicting a breakout for Corey and a serious Cy Young bid by Zambrano.
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