Oh, by the way, I wasn’t kidding about Darren Clarke’s pants.
The Bulls wrap up the wildly successful regular season with games Tuesday (home against the Knicks) and Wednesday (at Indiana, in HD where available–like my house–and no, you’re not invited.) I would think the Bulls should use tomorrow night’s game with the Knicks to announce they’re voting Isiah Thomas a full playoff share. After all, without him saving them from salary cap hell by taking Jamal Crawford and the Junk Yard Dog, where would the Bulls be? Thanks, Zeke!
If the Bulls win both games, they’ll host the Washington Wizards in the first round of the playoffs starting either Saturday or Sunday. If they lose one, then the Wiz could, with two wins of their own, tie the Bulls and the Wiz have the tiebreaker (a 2-1 regular season edge in their head to heads) and the playoffs would start in DC, or wherever the hell the MCI Center is.
The Bulls are going to sign Lawrence Funderburke today. Aside from having two bad knees and a really cool name, Funderburke’s most notable basketball accomplishment was when he told Bob Knight to “Go f@#$” himself, prompting his transfer to Ohio State.
The Bulls won’t hold a press conference today, instead they’ll release white smoke over the Berto Center if they’ve signed him. If not, they’ll release black smoke. Although, that also could just be Andres Nocioni warming up his car:
The Jockey claims the 2005 Cubs listen to Pink Floyd. Great. Is LSD on the banned steroid list?
Kerry Wood promises to let us know right away if he’s going to be good tonight. He’ll throw the first one over the backstop if he plans to suck again.
The Jockey wants us to know that Nomar isn’t happy with his .182 average. Good, that makes about 3,000,001 of us.
Rex Grossman broke one of the trainer’s fingers. Who does he think he is, AJ Pierzynski?
Lawrence Funderburke is fired up about being a Bull. Yeah, it ought to last about a week and a half.
Skip Myslenski comes up with three half-assed choices for DePaul’s new basketball coach.
Groucho says when it comes to making predictions, NBA writers are dopes.
Mariotti puts down the doughnut to wonder why Ozzie Guillen can’t leave Frank Thomas alone. Well, Jay, if you haven’t noticed, Ozzie doesn’t like Frank.
Again, the calendar I gave Derrek Lee (the one that goes January, February, March, June, June, June, July…) gets no credit for his hot start. Oh, well.
Kerry’s never lost in Cincinnati. John Kerry? Oh, Kerry Wood.
He’s putting the E back in E-ramis. In his typically well thought out fashion, Mike Kiley says that Moises Alou used to help E-ramis focus on defense (why, did the threaten to pee on him?), and Mike says we’ll know by Thursday if E-ramis can salvage the season! Let’s hope the next ball E-ramis kicks is one of Mike’s.
Peter King thinks the Bears will take Cedric Benson. Whatever.
Good God, man. What time did the Red Sox game start? 10:05 a.m.?
OK, we get it. They say f@#$ a lot in Deadwood.
America’s finest news source with some tips on drafting a living will.
Nomar’s gotta boost his average by closer to 50 cents to come close to even suburban rates. $2.41 in Lake County today…
Go check out what I have to say about Wood and Prior on chicagosports.com!
Will someone please explain why Dusty Baker thinks that Macias has to play in EVERY F%#&$* GAME??
Ozzie is just warming Buerhle to replace Steve Kline for us. Mark’s coming here as soon as his contract is over.
I no play yesterday.
Ozzie’s right. Buehrle does play for the wrong team.
Oh wait, I do play yesterday. But I walk, so Dusty no happy.
The Sox right-hander was 10-0 with a 2.29 ERA in day games in more than a year, a run of daytime success that prompted Guillen to muse: “I think Freddy pitches for the wrong team. If he pitched on the North Side, he would win the Cy Young. I don’t think it has anything to do with anything. Maybe the other team is tired.”
Apparently, every Sox pitcher would win the Cy Young if they played for the Cubs.
Will somebody explain why I still can’t speak English.
It makes sense to me that Alou would encourage E-Ramis to work on his defense. After all, if a ball gets past E-Ramis, then Alou would have to wake up from his nap in left field and go get it.
I guess that if being healthy and having decent numbers makes you great, than we are the best!
I don’t have decent numbers, though.
Me either, mang.
Kiley’s stealing Dolan’s material…check out the headline.
http://www.suntimes.com/output/cubs/cst-spt-cub15.html
Don’t ask me why, but I was watching the end of the Braves – Phillies game Saturday. At the end of the game when Utley made the nice snatch (yeah I like to say snatch), you would have thought Chip was a Phillies announcer. He fellated the hell out of Utley for the next 10 minutes. Even worse, ESPN made it their “Hometown Call of the Day” with Chip’s call.
Anyone know any good baseball highlight shows?
That was covered on me, SR.
But I’ve also heard that the Cubs traded Sosa.
We may have started out strong, but one look at the last names of the two pitchers we’ve thrown out there today tells you all you need to know about how our season will go.
Hola Amigos! Just wanted to let you know my big brother
Mike returns to the ring, and if you don’t like the way I play,
talk to him about it. You’ll get and earfull.
It is no fung dealing with Big Skirt mang, no luv for meeg and Sox. Gerbeding muchalwelweng. Goobedy moong muk.
Hola Amigos?!?!? Whoa dude, I don’t know who you think you are, hermano, but that intro line belongs to moi, the Jimster. Don’t be mowin’ another man’s lawn, you catch what I’m sayin’, dude, because I don’t wanna have to drive my smooth ride (’92 Cutlass) over to your crib and bust you up. Not that yours truly isn’t more of a peaceful, fun-loving dude, but I gotta protect what’s mine, ya know. what I’m sayin’? But first, I’ve got to get myself a chicken burrito, extra sour cream, as I’ve got a serious case of the munchies. I’m out.
Hey guys! How long until I should start sucking wind tonight? Second inning? I’m really big on the base on balls, Dusty just LOVES those!
Sarah sends along her thanks for the millions I’m getting paid, she’s decorating our new manse in gilded golf leaf and fifty dollar bills.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Said on ESPN’s Hotlist “If Mel Kiper was so good at what he does, he’d be working in the NFL”. He did not however, comment on Kiper’s awfull hair.
I’m on the Hotlist too!
You’re on the shitlist, Hub.
Well 6-6 after 12 games, don’t tell me you didn’t see that one coming with this team? A person has to wonder how many handjobs Macias has been giving Dusty lately, because he plays in every game and is hitting .070. Maybe Dusty will make an ass out of himself tonight for arguing Kerry Wood’s wild pitches and get himself thrown out of the game. Then Chris Speier can take over the managing duties and remember how much he sucked as a bench utility player and not play Macias for a change.
Are we ever going to get above 5 runs in a game again this year? Better yet, how about a couple hits in one inning. These guys act like they’re still playing in the Cactus League and taking road trips to Vegas. Guys, it’s about time you stop concentrating on those hooks and the hooks that these pitchers are throwing you.
We should sweep at Cincy and then get swept at the Urinal Bowl, but I’d say we’ll split in each series. We’re just dumb enough to do something like that.
I’m going out on a limb here and say that Kerry’s limb will be on tonight and we win. However, Prior will get no run support tomorrow night and we’ll lose 2-1.
Baker Basher
Baker Basher’s mom should have paid for me.
Jose is hitting .070 better than me.
He’s hot.
The Cubs are averaging 5 runs a game. Even taking out the first game (and why would you do that?), they’re still averaging 4. The Cubs have scored more than 5 runs in 25% of their games.
It’s bullshit to argue that the Cubs mediocre start is due to poor offense or poor managing. It’s because the Cubs starters have thrown only 5 quality starts combined (1 each by Prior, Maddux, and Zambrano, and 2 by Dempster). 7 games battling uphill.
Lawrence Funderburke? What, Brian Williams wasn’t available?!?
I’ll have front row seats for the playoffs baby!
I’ve recently found out that I’m a free agent this summer, and I’m going to treat this series against the Bulls as a job interview…
…you actually suck.
Last year you averaged 11 points and 7½ boards, and shot .489 from the floor. But this year, you’ve slumped to 6½ and 5, and except for your personal fouls, you’re at career lows across the board.
If you _do_ go to the Bulls this summer, you’re likely to become the next Will Perdue, not the next Eddy Curry.
buddies, I’m hitting .300 buddies, I say you are resenting
the inference of trading me, buddies
Uh, I’m dead dude. Shark food. Oh, and it’s Bison Dele’.
Hi there, how you doin’… just thought we’d make a brief appearance in the 1st inning of tonight’s Reds game.
Gotta love that 2 out magic
I just want to send a big HI to all my fans in Chi-town
If Dunn had a homer off of me, I would have come up and in on him in his next a.b. Kerry Wood decided he liked having dingers hit off of him, though.
You are all my bitches.
Another nice one run loss to add to the collection. I could have bet my life on it after that clusterfuck in the bottom of the 8th, that we would throw more gas on the fire and pick up a run to lose by one again.
First of all you get up 4-0 none the less on our great solo shots. Make sure nobody is on before you hit one guys. The only smart one was Lee who is on fire right now and is the only consistent bright spot.
But you have Wood being the pussy that he is that can’t hold a lead against the Reds, which he is suppose to be so dominating against. Well Kerry, there went your dominance.
Then you have Dusty’s stupidity level, which is at an all-time high right now. Glendon Rusch throws a great 7th inning, so what does Dumby Dusty do, takes him out to go with a struggling Leicester. Leicester really showed that he’s pulling through his slump. Let’s load them up and have Aramis pull one out of his ass and have Barrett almost fuck it up. Then of course give up a big hit to lose the game. Did you really think we were going to get out of that and did we really deserve to?
Face it, everybody on this team is content on sharing the fuckup position on any given night. In fact, Dumby Dusty is all for it. He will even put you in the position to better suit you being the fuckup.
If you can’t win a game tonight, there is no way in hell you are going to even come close to making the playoffs even in the Central Division. We are the most assinide and idiotic team in the division. Even the Pirates and Brewers have beaten us and have more sense.
It’s going to be Doomsday in Wrigleyville for every game we lose this year. These are bitter losses like Ronnie and Pat said on the radio tonight. They’re bitter as Cub fans because it is your own management and team that losses these games not the other teams. This will continue to be the fad this year due to the fact that you got a dumbfuck contantly playing the numbers book and sucking the players’ dick because he wants them to like him. It doesn’t really matter in the end if you’re players like you or not, the media and fans will be the ones to seal your fate. Dusty is just too much of an ignorant bastard to see that his fate game after game will be sealed in an envelope with his pink slip in it.
For every time Dusty fucks up this year, I wish each and every Cub fan could stick a toothpick in his big ass. That son of a bitch would never ever be able to sit down in that dugout again.
FDF=Fuck Dusty Forever
Baker Basher
You’re a fucking moron.
Yeah, dude, it’s ALL my fault. Not Barrett’s for making one of stupidest plays I’ve ever seen, not Lee’s for pulling an Alou on the bases, not Hairston’s for having a real shit at-bat in the 9th, not Burnitz or Aram’s for swinging for the fences, not Kerry Wood’s for being spotted 5 runs and STILL blowing the damn game, not anybody’s fault at all except for mine!
Whatever. I may be an idiot, but half my team is just as stupid as me.
The thing I like about Baker Basher’s posts is that they’re so easy to scroll right past.
Assinide? I’ve just been looking through myself, and I can’t find “assinide” anywhere. I’ve got an “asinine” though, if that’s any good to you, Basher – you thick fuck. Funnily enough, it means “complacently or inanely foolish”.
Oh, the irony.
The thing I like about Baker Basher’s posts is that every time, the post right after it says fuck you, you’re a fucking moron, you’re a fucking dipshit… things of that sort. The “F-word” posts are more interesting too.
It’s not my fault that we lost……wait…..yes it is!
Make sure someone’s on if you’re going to hit a Home Run.
Car…woooo…legs…wooo….breaking….woooo…lawsuit….wooooo…new teeth….wooooooo!
Sounds like everybody is a bit testy this morning after that bitter loss last night. I sometimes take out my frustrations a bit too far on Dusty maybe too much. All of you Dusty backers out there have to agree he is a fucking moron though.
Why can’t he get it through his thick skull and airpocketed brain, that you go with what’s hot and what is going good for you. That son of a bitch is stubborn to the core when it comes to that. If Neifi Perez or Jason Dubois or even if God will let Jose Macias get hot with the bat, play them and play them until their bats catch a cold. When Mike Wuertz or Glendon Rusch pitch well for one innning, leave them in there for another one while they’re on a roll. Don’t worry if they pitch two innings in a row, they’re men and should be able to come back the next day and pitch. Lastly, could you try to motivate our starters to go 7 innings or even more-that is the magic number. Then that way, you pitch one reliever in the 8th for one inning and another reliever in the 9th for one inning. That way in one game you only use 3 pitchers. Not throw this reliever against the righties and this reliever against the lefties because the averages tell you to. That would keep you from using 5-6 pitchers a night. DUSTY-HOW MANY TIMES HAVE PLAYING THE NUMBERS BURNED YOU-I’M SURPRISED YOU’RE NOT BLACKER YET.
Those are the type of things that are losing ballgames for the Cubs and will continue to lose more games for them as a result of Dusty’s pure stupidity and stubborness.
With all of you questioning my actions, maybe you need to look at the one and only true fuckup, Dumby Dusty Baker.
FDF=FUCK DUSTY FOREVER
Baker Basher
Hey dumbass,
Why don’t you get your own blog?
All you Cubs fans are racist, dude.
Baker Basher, nobody cares enough about you to “question your actions.” We may question your sanity, though.
As well as your spelling.
Wasn’t I the reason Glendon didn’t go another inning?
Don’t let me get in the way of fucktard’s delusional rants.
hey buddies, I´m now hitting .302 buddies, I say you are resenting the inference more, that you trade me to los orioles buddies
Anyone think that Baker Basher may be the living curse of the Cubs?
Team needs me tonight and I will not let you down..
Franchise wins and puts Cubs back to .500
7 innings, 0R,3H, 8K´s ….book it, I´m money
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