Derrek Lee is really good and John Koronka is happy to have won his first start. Gee, who’d a thunk?
Dusty likes the road because nobody boos him. They just laugh and point.
Dusty says that the Cubs’ training staff is “milking” Prior’s arm. I don’t even want to know. He also says that both Prior and Nomar will be back by the All-Star Break. Apparently Dusty thinks there are two All-Star Breaks. One in early July for Mark and one in November for Nomar.
Derrek Lee’s not sure how he can win the triple crown. He didn’t even run in the Kentucky Derby or the Preakness.
KC Johnson was busy checking out Scott Skiles’ tan lines. Huh?
Thomas Jones says that Cedric Benson is a complement to him. Uh, Thomas, the complement’s going to be getting the ball while you stand next to Chad Hutchinson.
Mike Kiley’s not even sure that Derrek Lee is the Cubs’ MVP. Uh, Mike. He is.
Ryan Dempster had dinner with Paris Hilton. Sort of.
It looks like Danny Graves is going to go to Florida to sink the Marlins’ hopes of the playoffs. And Kiley doesn’t think Eli Marrero would help the Cubs because if he replaces Enrique Wilson he can’t play shortstop. Look, neither can Enrique. But that’s beside the point. If the Cubs signed Marrero, they’d have no use for The Gremlin. Now that would be nice.
The Wizard of Roz talks with noted steroid expert, Bob Scanlan? What?
Roger Clemens says he might like to pitch for the Rangers. When do we get to drop the charade that he’s nothing more than a bounty hunter?
TJ Simers says the end is near for Jim Tracy.
The New York Times on how Bob Woodward got scooped on the announcement of Deep Throat.
Bob Woodward himself on the story behind Deep Throat.
It’s June and America’s finest news source has some tips on hosting a barbecue.
Can you vote for the All Star Game online?
Get off the computer, kid.
I had them switch my IV from Cool Ranch Doritos to Chili Cheese Fritos. I don’t have to deal with chives getting stuck in the feeding tube anymore, and my punching productivity is up over twenty percent. Pujols…Eckstein…Rolen…Grudzalananana….
“Plus, Comcast showed his girlfriend in the stands and she wasn’t half bad. Kind of a poor man’s Jennie Finch. Does that make Koronka a poor man’s Casey Daigle? Because I can tell you right now, that’s not going to work.”
Nice. That weekend was just what the Dr. ordered. I laughed so hard at this I almost… pooped my pants as the fella says.
You can milk anything with nipples.
George likes to milk the bulls.
Bush talking about nipples. Major confusion here…
Hey Apex, if you pooped your pants, would your brain fall out?
Chuck, you must have missed my roast of my husband to the Washington Press Corp where I implied that Bush pulled a “Kingpin” on the bulls. No biggie.
I know a couple of Cardinal fan goofs (I know, that’s redundant) who actually got thousands of ballots in 1985 when Tommy Herr sold his soul to the devil for one good season. They used ice picks to punch out thousands of votes for Herr so he’d beat out Sandberg at second base.
I, for one, really like those commercials Eckstein does with Travelocity.
the curse = latroy
Finally someone mentioned my streak! I know Derrek’s been pretty hot lately, but I don’t think he should get all the attention. I’m heating up too. I only stranded like 4 runners last night! You can call me Derrek Lite.
Our beloved Cardinal players might be leading the All-Star polls for a few reasons:
1) Many of them have good offensive numbers and the players are traditionally (not necessarily right) voted in on the strength of his offense;
B) The voting public is always a year behind on “who’s good.” They still think Nomar is good (which he wasn’t when he was actually healthy), and they are going off the assumption that Cardinal players were in the World Series last year and are therefore worthy of this year’s All-Star starts; and
3) The strength of the Cardinals fan base should not be underestimated. This is a team that draws from St. Louis all the way down to Atlanta, including parts of Oklahoma, Arkansas, Nebraska, Louisiana, Mississippi, Kentucky, Tennessee, Alabama, and all the other states with a sizeable trailer park population.
Red Bird Nation, They all should go out and get a fuckin’ job and see what it is to make a fuckin’ living. The All-Star Ballot is a playground for those cocksuckers.
Where kin we git summor a dem All-Star ballits?
I really like how the Evil Red Bird fans are responsible for their players being in the front-running of the the All-Star balloting. You are vastly overestimating them and underestimating their pretty good position players they have fielded. Hate the Cardinals and Genius all you want, but the fact remains they have a great record, and that’s all that matters, whether us Cubs fans like it or not.
Christ, the Tommy Herr spot was finally dry and ready for retirement after 20 years and then, whoosh, the floodgates open again.
Andy, on your Dumbass Du Jour section, is it ‘dumb-ass’, or ‘dum-bass’? I’ve been hooked up to the fritos machine too long, and I can’t tell.
I’m from Oklahoma but don’t lump in with the trailer park faithful that love guys that wear more eyelier than Tammy Faye Baker and love guys by the name of POO-HOLES
George Mikan dead pool selectee……winner
Sloth my friend…stop with the Lays products. Go with a nice Jays or store brand over that Lays junk.
Plus I will give you a free slushy next time in!!!
The Cardinals really should only have three position players getting enough votes to be considered for being a starter: General Pujols, Lassie, and Scott Rolen (This before Rolen’s injury)… David Eckstein being second in SS votes right now is laughable… Granted the NL isn’t that strong at the shortstop position, but guys like Greene in SD, Wilson in PIT, and even Furcal in ATL (Although he’s struggling) are better and should be getting more votes in my opinion.
Reggie Sanders in the top five at his position? Last I checked, he was batting under .240 and hadn’t hit a breaking ball since the second Cubs/Cards series last year. Yadier Molina? He couldn’t have hit anything with a sequoia in April and the first part of May…
People who discuss all-star voting ought to shampoo my crotch.
That All-Star stuff has always been a bunch of bullshit and still is. If I was DLee and Neifi, I’d tell them to fuck off and get some rest. The Cubs will need everything they can get from these two guys down the stretch because these others losers aren’t supplying much. DLee and Neifi are quite a duo right now!
How many runners is Korey Patterson going to strand this year? Why Korey doesn’t even make contact with runners on is fucking amazing? For that reason alone, you need to get rid of him. He will cost the Cubs more games with his pathetic offensive display besides saving them games with his defensive play. It’s time to cut this disappointment loose.
I hate this kid so bad I could handle Jose Macias playing centerfield. Yes, I said that. Korey just makes you cringe with his attitude though. He’s a bad excuse for current minor leaguers.
Hopefully the Cubs will make it 7 in a row tonight due to Fish Lips Rusch great pitching again.
GO CUBS!
FDAKF=Fuck Dusty And Korey Forever
I am the NL All-Star SS. Fear me.
Eckstein has a higher batting average and OBP than Greene, Wilson, or Furcal. Wilson and Furcal are downright crappy this year.
Eckstein: .302/.377/.392
Furcal: .229/.281/.333
Greene: .277/.336/.464
J. Wilson: .234/.273/.351
It should be Neifi or Izturis, but did you even bother to look?
I am a perfect illustration of the “vote for last year’s stars” voding method. Green and Furcal are last year’s news. Izturis and Neifi! are the all-star SSs for this year, but they’ll be forgotten (Neifi! for sure) when July 12 rolls around.
Hey Crying Towel, I was just pointing out that the Rebird Morans have been stuffing the ballot boxes for twenty years, so we shouldn’t be surprised that it continues. I’m just surprised they have figured out how to punch the ballots, or how they have any time to fill them out at the ball park between standing ovations and curtain calls for their heros.
I will be honest that I didn’t look up Wilson’s stats. I didn’t know he was going that poorly in comparision to Eckstein. I will say based on that Eckstein should be getting votes over Wilson. Greene has more power potential than Eckstein and he has a better arm and is better defensively than Eckstein, and Furcal is simply struggling right now. I still think both of those guys are better than Eckstein, and if Wilson does improve I think he is better than Eckstein as well.
I also didn’t look at the stats for Neifi! (He’s like at .285 with 6 HR right?) or Izturis, pray tell…
Hop to it, Dolan.
Neifi: .315/.342/.475 6HR
Izturis: .345/.392/.426 1HR
So, what you’re saying is All-Star balloting shouldn’t have to do with how a player performs on the field, just how well you think the guy should be doing (Furcal)?
“if Wilson does improve I think he is better than Eckstein as well.” So if Wilson plays better than Eckstein in the future, you think he’ll be better. I suppose that’s true.
Barmes deserves consideration too.
If I improve, Barmes deserves nothing!
In a way Brian, yes. I think performance must be considered, but I have voted online and in a stadium a couple times for the All-Star Game and I have voted for guys that weren’t doing that well but had done so in the past and I thought would turn it around by the end of the season. Just because a guy has a bad two months doesn’t turn him into a non-All Star in my opinion. Now, if a guy has a bad year and then follows it up with another bad two months, then I probably wouldn’t vote for him.
You may disagree with that way of thinking, but that’s how I decided a few of my All-Star votes in the past.
yes, post me. Some intrepid readers are leaving in 30 minutes for a 5 day weekend
Hey, that’s fine. Then Derrek Lee has nothing over Pujols or Helton.
It honestly compels me to say, that Andrew Dolan never interviewed me.
But Andy did interview me.
https://www.desipio.com/features/guests/andy/103102-desipiointerview-hubarkush.htm
Hi everybody! I’ve been busy visiting Southern California, but I thought I’d stop in here to see if I can induce Andy into posting the Kasper Interview!
Derrek Lee, right now, should be the starting first baseman for the 2005 NL All-Star team. I don’t think that will happen, but he has had a solid career and is having a truly great 2005 so far. There is no way any other NL first baseman except Pujols should even be considered to get the spot over Lee. My point/argument goes to certain positions where there is no clear first choice for me. Shortstop this year would be one of those positions. I must admit I would probably vote for Greene or Izturis (Now that I know his stats) or maybe even Neifi!. If I had to vote tomorrow, I would probably go for Greene however. Just my opinion.
I realize the last two sentences of my last comment do not read very well. Sorry.
From that Hub interview, this might have been the funniest single line in Desipio history.
“Hub: Look, I’m not going to make this a referendum on who I’ve blown.”
Red Bird Nation? You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
May the force be with you, b#tches!