Ryan Dempster handed out Red Bull for everyone! Hey at $2.50 a can, that’s a nice gesture. I’m sure he’ll be getting a letter from Bob Scanlan telling him Red Bull can ruin player’s home lives.
I got my Sports Illustrated last night and read the Tom Verducci article on Sammy. Sammy just doesn’t get it, and that’s fine, because we all knew he wouldn’t get it and that’s why the Cubs are better off with him not getting it someplace else.
Looks like Kerry could be paying the Rally Carp a visit as early as next week.
We know Eddy’s a mystery, but Luol might miss six more months? Yikes.
Greg Couch is insane, right? He devotes his entire column about Eddy Curry to the fact that Eddy shouldn’t take that DNA test because it might show that his heart condition is congenital, or that he’s got some other dread disease. Uh, shouldn’t Eddy know that so he can…you know…live? Sure there’s a privacy issue here, but one that’s easily handled by having Eddy pick the doctor to do the test and only release pertinent heart-related information to the Bulls. For chirssakes, Couch, don’t you have a ticket broker to stake out or something?
Mike Kiley says Todd Hollandsworth is working his way back into a left-field platoon. Uh, let’s hope not. Todd does better with less playing time, not more.
Ryan Dempster says the circus is coming to town, and of course, he means the Red Sox.
The Wizard of Roz bitch slaps Scott Skiles…again. But the real crapfest in this column is from our favorite GM working at a 7-11. Sanjay H. says the Cubs should go after Raul Ibanez or Matt Stairs for the outfield. That’s a great idea, Sanjay! They’re just as lousy as the crap we already have there. Let’s see how high we can pile up the crappy outfielders!
Andy Katz on Dee Brown’s foot.
Matt Turvey’s NBA Finals preview.
Sports Guy’s NBA Finals preview.
The Tigers were foolish enough to break up Ivan and Ugy? Who’s Pudge gonna kiss? And how do you replace the great Ramon Martinez? Huh? How? Tell me!
Eli Marrero’s no star, and he hit dreadfully in KC, but he’s a far more useful utility player than say…The Gremlin.
America’s finest news sourc with the story of a Boston man is sure that his gas bill was designed by “some kind of freaking maniac.”
I was filthy yesterday in my simulated game yesterday. I made the Gremlin and Enrique Wilson look sick.
It’s a shame that Moronotti ends up getting the attention his starstruck ass so desperately craves.
Bill Adee–who now works at the Tribune–should be hanged for bringing Jay to town twelve years ago or so in the first place. He’s a civic embarassment and every time I see his smirking ass on ESPN with “Chicago Sun Times” in the background I go into convulsions.
Today I bought a suit of clothes today and it costed a lot of money today.
Remember when I dominated the Sox on sunday night last year? Joe Morgan and his buddy K- Zone were no match for my skills.
Ya got me, ODB.
While I do have some masculine qualities, please tell Dolan I have a vagina and not a penis
I’m only 17!!!
Summer breeze…makes me feel fine.
Sure cos’, and I’m only 24.
Hey Garcia, quit ripping me off !
Hey, Marlen! Same here!
Marlen’s a chick? Who knew?
I like the Jay Leno quote at the bottom of the Rozer column. I like it because maybe Carlos will read it and the world will finally be free of Jay Leno.
Andy, is that title of the dose a mocking of my free giving of deer meat. You better watch who gets that meat. It can break your neck if you eat it. Just ask Clint. Specially eating it while driving ATV’s.
The Meat Tray was very filling yesterday. The Serge had some kick ass shit. Us Cub fans didn’t know what hit us. But it was vintage Cubs beating another former Cy Young winner. Are we not surprised we can make a no name shitty lefty look like a Cy Young winner and go out and beat a legit Cy Young winner?
One thing that disturbed me in the game was how Roy boy served up an 0-2 pitch right down the gut to Korey. Of course, Korey does what Korey does best and that’s to swing at everything he can. So he got lucky and plated a run. Patterson treated us with two strikeouts again. Those are a thing of beauty.
The sight on WGN Sports last night made me sick too. Kerry Wood was being interviewed with his arm wrapped up like he had just pitched a complete game shutout. Hate to blow your cover Mrs. Wood, but you just pitched another sissy simulated game against none other then the Gremlin and a shorter and fatter version of Tom Goodwin. I wouldn’t be bragging in interview sessions. Wood doesn’t even realize he’s an embarrassment either. But I guess he’ll be in Iowa here in the next week or so throwing some BP. It should be interesting if he’s back before July. I’ll take the over on this one.
Baker Basher
Hey, Basher, how do you know that the Meat Tray is filling! I’m telling your “fiancee”
Hey, Basher, how do you know that the Meat Tray is filling! I’m telling your “fiancee”
I wouldn’t be so quick to dismiss Sergio’s performance yesterday as a once-in-a-career type of game. Not everyone is going to come up from the minors and have the early success and dominance that Wood and Prior did. I don’t think Sergio has #1-2 starter stuff, but he certainly has a chance to be a solid middle-of-the-rotation guy. Young pitchers are going to have their struggles, but at this point he’s the best the system has to offer (until they add Rich Hill to the 40-man and bring him up).
I cannot fulfill the fantasies of Mrs. Baker Basher. I wish I was part of the meat tray.
I’m dead.
So is Morrie…I think.
Hey! The Cubs left me in San Diego! I thought they liked me. Oh well, guess I’ll go get drunk at Legoland.
Jerks.
Did you see my quote in the New York Times this morning? I know most of you think I’m a complete asshat, but maybe this will win you back over. I’m doing a remake of Samurai Dry Cleaner…see you around.
“Watching the Red Sox win was a very weird experience,” said Jim Belushi, an actor and a lifelong Cubs fan. “It was like having a neighbor win the lottery. At first you’re really happy for them because it couldn’t happen to a better guy. And then you realize that he’ll move into a bigger house in another neighborhood and you never had anything in common with him in the first place and he was really a big jerk. I mean, the Red Sox’ celebrity mascot is Ben Affleck. Doesn’t that tell you enough?”
What, no mention of Jay Leno’s Carlos comment in Rozner’s column?
I weel kill this Jay Leno
people tell me I look a lot like Spuds McKenzie
I believe Andy hit it with sweet spot of the bat when he referred to Enrique as me.
But I am smooth, no?
Joe Camel has a huge pair of me, as his face looks like male genitalia.
Let’s just say that Enrique is muy popular con las mujeres.
Am I timely, or what? The Z computer story is only two weeks old.
I’ve got some John Elway slow white Bronco jokes that I’m waiting to trot out. They kill. Get it?
“I don’t sign for white people”, but I will have some of those steroids you got there.
Yeah, I’m a real reliable source. I have never been accused of making racist remarks when managing the Flyers or playing in the majors. I don’t have a reputation for exaggerating things or for making up a story to top someone else’s story.
I’m a model human being.
We’re both shitbags. But, I am a great player, Kittle stunk.