Rich Hill and Dusty are going to get along famously. Both believe in all that Tao hoakum.
The Jockey with tragic news.
Dontrelle thanks the Cubs for making him who he is today. Yeah, a World Champion. But honestly, doesn’t it make sense for Hendry to be nice to this guy? He’s young. He’s talented, and his arbitration eligible this offseason (the Marlins are fighting the Players Association on that, though). Given the history of the Fish, Dontrelle’s going to be changing teams in the next few years. It won’t hurt if he still likes the Cubs, now, will it?
The Yankees aren’t good this year. Avani Patel (must be happy to leave South Bend for a week) looks back to three guys who turned them around a decade ago. All three are former Cardinals. And at least one of them HATES St. Louis.
Speaking of loud, fat guys that nobody can say no to. John Madden will now have worked for CBS, Fox, ABC and NBC. Nice work if you can get it.
Greg Couch spun the big wheel of column styles and landed on pointless today.
Mariotti puts down the doughnut to worry about Carl Everett.
Kiley says Jerome is coming to the Cubs next week. But what does that guy know?
The Cubs Mormon Tabernacle Hurler isn’t going on a mission (to Kashimir, Indiana or anyplace) utnil after his baseball career is over.
The Wizard of Roz with some witty, very well thought out stuff on Joe Morgan. Yes, I’m a tool.
Tom Verducci opens his mailbag and finds a letter from the one guy (and he’s a Cardinals fan from Peoria) who thinks Tony Womack can actually play.
I was watching some of the Phillies-Mariners last night and M’s announcers Dave Niehaus and Ron Fairly were going on and on about how former White Sox prospect (sent to the M’s last summer with Miguel Olivo and Jeremy Reed for Freddy Garcia and Ben Davis) Mike Morse reminds them of A-Rod. I can only assume he’s a closet homo who goes to therapy, because there’s only one A-Rod on the field. Oh, one thing to remember about Niehaus, he taught Chip Caray everything Chippy knows about broadcasting. Eww.
Brewers’ color analyst Bill Schroeder had a less than sterling interview with Prince Fielder. Schroeder apparently doesn’t have cable and didn’t see the Real Sports on what a scumbag Cecil has been to his kid, so Bill didn’t think anything of repeatedly asking Prince about when he told his dad he was being called up. When Prince was in Beloit two summers ago (and I was officially scoring…that sounds better than it is), I saw Cecil in the clubhouse probably 20 times. He even took off his World Series ring from the Yankees and handed it to me (it’s the size of a freakin’ paper weight). Little did we know he was hanging around to ask Prince for some cash.
A word of advice to the Cubs when they play Milwaukee next week. Hit it at Rickie Weeks, but don’t pitch it to him. He can rake.
Eric Gagne has a torn elbow ligament. See you in 2007, Eric!
The Orioles are also after Preston Wilson. Oh, he and Sammy are a matched set.
Todd Helton wants to stay in Denver. Would he be any worse in left than Jason Dubois? Would a coat rack with a Cubs hat on it be worse?
America’s finest news source with the tale of a Michigan politician who awkwardly works the bathroom.
How come no mention of my assist last night?
Dinosaurs ain’t real you bitch ass faggots…shit…I hate Wrigley and all of you. Fans ain’t shit, I gots me a phd in badassedness.
No mention of my dominance? Typical.
I like how at the end of the Prince Fielder article they managed to squeeze a piece on Peter King fellating Brett Favre in there. Man, King is relentless.
It’s official: WSCR now stands for White Sox Central Radio as they announced a five-year deal to have their radio rights starting in 2006. Ugh.
Sorry, Royce wasn’t paying any attention, and don’t plan to.
No point in listening to me now.
Andy,
You must be thrilled to share Roz’s space with such greatness as me,
“Greg Couch spun the big wheel of column styles and landed on pointless today.”
Frame it. That’s great stuff, Dolan.
Dolan, you’ll have to pick up the pace to make the Wizard’s column as often as luminaries like us.
No you can hear about how great I am and how the Cubs trading me was one of the worst deals ever.
I am the smartest person not working in baseball, dub dub sir.
Don’t blame me for Chipper. I like to hit the sauce and the Chip Caray sentence in Seattle was one long blackout.
Don’t get too comfortable with the Roz Dolan, that’s my show. Dub Dub, sir.
The picture of Maddux at the top of the Dose where Greggie looks like he’s gonna puke sums up his performance uesterday.
Thank God. I hate when I turn on ESPN 1K on the drive home and the Sox are on. Since I never listen to WSCR, this is an early fathers day gift.
Wilson, on the other hand, is a bad move. He’s got sore muscles everywhere and is mostly broken. unless there’s a Miracle Max available, I’d expect maybe 12 HRs and a line at or below 260/320/450. You could prolly get the same outta DewBoys.
Did someone say sore muscles? The Big Skirt abides…now where are my roids?
You guys are crazy, I had good stuff yesterday.
You mean there is a reason to finally listen to me?
Nice move by WSCR. This allows them to paint themselves even more as the “Rage Against the Machine” sports station in Chicago. Not sure how Mike Murphy feels about it, though.
Wheeeeeee!
“Cubs manager Dusty Baker introduced Arizona Diamondbacks shortstop Royce Clayton to the lively bar scene at Le Colonial”
…then he hasn’t been discovered yet.
And if he is, he better stay away from me.
I’m pretty big
Hey, if it’s sore muscles that are keeping Preston and Big Frank down, get some of my Super Blue Stuff!
Mouse over the Greggie photo, Andy captioned it for you. (Doesn’t work in Firefox, I don’t think.)
In firefox, Right click and chose “Properties”. The alt= text shows up in a dialogue box.
Nancy Reagan says to Say No to Preston Wilson. So does the Runaway Bride, and every other bitch with propped open eyelids
If Corey Patterson can pull his head out of his ass [and I don’t think that’s out of the question] then he is Preston Wilson. I’m not going to go off and trade for a guy who is essentially already on the roster and makes thrice as much money as the guy we already have. Let’s just go out and get someone, you know, better.
Shit, I’D be a better option in center.
Of course, what do I know about better options in center, since I selected my Latin buddy Carlos Lezcano over the obviously superior Scott Thompson in 1980 to play center?
Worked out so well that I was canned before we even played 100 games.
Hey, I was better than my deformed little brother.
Now we call all listen to the Score defend itself against being a North side homer radio station. Hot dog boy North can tell us how he loves the Sox, always has always will and maybe now that Teabagger Telander has been launched we can somehow get hawk and wimpy to commit a muder suicide on air. hen we’d have some progress at WSCR.
I love it when you analyze.
I haven’t taken my name out of the draft yet. I heard the Grizzlies were looking for a one-legged point guard.
Please tell me if the Cubs go out and get Preston Wilson that Korey Patterson would be the one traded, not Dubois and other prospects? If that’s not the case, this trade would be worthless. You would be getting an older righthanded hitting Patterson? One version of Korey on this team is way more then enough.Hendry can do better then this.
I think moving up Williams is a must and Bartosch is out. Although I do like the idea of trading Greybeard for a prospect. You could always pitch Bartosch in mopup duty.
You just have to hope Hendry will pull something here soon. Korey isn’t going to get any better. I think Hollandsworth and Dubois are at their pennicle right now too. The Cubs definitely need another stick for some offense.
GO CUBS!
Baker Basher
Wouldn’t want to trade me. I’ve got superstar written all over me!
Hey Everett, come here you motherfucker, I got something for ya’.
Who is the babe who does the Mercury commercials?
I just can’t figure this team out. I get pessimistic about them, and then Sergio Mitre pitches a shutout in a 14-run win. So, then, I want to be optimistic about their chances, but then you have the non-existent game from yesterday… It’s just all so confusing…
Unless the NL adopts the DH, which according to Jim Palmer on a telecast from earlier this week they should, I should be dangled out there in any package.
It’s true, a few nights ago I said that the NL is boring and it’s no wonder that they can’t fill their parks, or keep their fans awake, then to be funny I said “yawn”. Seriously me and my partner ripped the NL on and off for a few solid minutes. I think Carl Everett and I should be banished to Siberia, or worse, Wisconsin.
Someone should tell Jason Dubois about Grandpa Mosies’ urinary batting techniques. Corey could swim in piss, but I don’t think it would help. Corey should bat right-handed and check swing everything to third.
If the White Sox don’t win the World Series this year, we can all look back at this tragic outburst from Carl Everett as being the reason why. Gotta go, its time for Will and Grace!
All-City catcher poll shows Hank White with 2 votes out of 393. Total bullshit. A call to arms, VOTE HANK!!!!!!!!!!
And I’m third.
Vote for me! Please?
Vote for me!
Listen, I beat the Chisox with my bat! I slap Carlos around to keep him in line. And I don’t knee trainers in the balls.
Vote for me!
Listen, I beat the Chisox with my bat! I slap Carlos around to keep him in line. And I don’t knee trainers in the balls.
Hank you just matched your vote total in posts.
Yeah, we need the designated hitter in the National League. Also aluminum bats and celebrities singing “Take me Out To The Ballgame.”
Remember me? You all were living in a different universe on me. It was before Hendry was the G.M., before Bruce Kimm was hired, before that lackwit Mohamed Atta and his fag buddies decided to jack a couple planes and kill thousands of people one morning. Yeah things were just different then.
The Cubs, were near the top of the Wild Card Race and for them, that was very good considering how late in the season I am. They trailed the leaders in the Central by just 4 games. There was no such thing as a gurgling shit drain named “Baker Basher”, back then he was known as “Baylor Basher” but he hadn’t yet learned to read and write.
Very late in my evening the Cubs were enjoying a whopping lead over the Florida Marlins. The game wasn’t available nationally so all over the country, Cub fans huddled around radios and computers to take in the action. Most of them, heh heh heh, had no inkling of how doomed their team was. The Cub lead was seven runs when the bullpen got involved and by the time Flash Gordon came on in the ninth, most of it had been squandered by the likes of Jeff Fassero and Kyle Farnsworth. With two outs and two on, Flash needed just one more strike against… of all people… Preston Wilson. That’s right, Preston, Restin’ Capital P Rest-on! I can’t remember how many 2-strike breakin balls old Preston fouled off. It was a lot. He wasn’t having the best of years, had plenty of K’s but I can still recall Steve Stone filling in for Ron Santo in the booth that night saying, “He still has PRODIGIOUS Power.” And how!!!
Flash finally had spent his wad of curveballs and with a full count elected to go with a fastball, down and away. He through it to the right spot but Preston didn’t miss it. . .
Pat Hughes: (sparse crowd going berzerk) “Now Wilson drives one in the air, deep to right, Sammy going back, still going, at the fence, and that, is, a, home run.”
Ah, that had to smart didn’t it? I really was a bad day for most of you but not nearly as bad as I was for Tom Gordon, who never pitched another game for the Cubs that season. His continued ill health in the offseason led the Cubs soon-to-be GM to trade Dontrelle Willis for… eh, you already know all that shit.
I was the beginning of an unfortunate series of events that led eventually to “Baylor Basher” renaming himself to, “Bruce Basher” after the unfortunate lackwit Bruce Kimm.
And you know on Kimmie’s first day as manager of YOUR Chicago Cubs, the damndest thing happened. Do you remember what it was?
Santo: “Uhhhh…”
I’ll tell you! The Cubs trailed (who else?) The Marlins (!) by a couple in the ninth but rallied to load the bases. Angel Echavarria came up and boy did he give one a ride to DEEP center. Ol’ Preston, bless his heart, he was on his horse I tell you. He tracked that ball down and at the last possible instant made a Mays-esque grab before face planting into what his successor in Florida would later call “Ivory”. Well you and I both know that is nothing but a bunch of pretty green leaves with a brick fucking wall behind it! BOOM!!! YOUR boy Preston hit that barrier and the ball, well, it squirted away…
Hughes: “CUBS WIN! CUBS WIN! CUBS WIN! Wilson drops the ball… Patterson scores… Bruce Kimm wins his first game as Cubs manager!”
Santo: “All Right!!”
I for one hope that Preston does somehow become a Cub, just like some of my brethren longed for Neifi and Moises Alou to one day sport Cubbie Blue so they’d be even better remembered and more often mentioned by you.
Remember, I don’t hate you. God does. So remember me fondly in a couple weeks when you look up and see Preston and his doo rag roaming the knee-high grass in Wrigley’s outfield. And remind him, “Look out for that ‘Ivory!'”
Heh, heh, heh! (sigh) Gotta go back to my home in a place you all know as, “Infamy”.
9/5/01
Why can’t someone write something as eloquent for us like someone (my guess is Mike D.) wrote for our neighbor in infamy, Sept. 5, 2001?
I don’t know a Mike D. Is he a good writer?
Um, I’m the day the Great War (aka WWI) ended. Why am I a date of infamy?
Where the hell is everyone? I thought we had a game today…..
In all this excitment, I dropped my toothpick. I’m going to Subway….
I’m a Mike D! I’ll write about you Jan. 28, 1986 and Nov. 22, 1963! Let’s see… Nov. 22, 1963, I practiced with the Bears to prepare for the big game in Pissburgh! I had a great game that coming Sunday! And on Jan. 28, 1986, it was the day after the parade down Michigan Ave., and I was blotto by 10 a.m. and on a plane to a golf course in Florida somewhere by 10:30. Oh, and I was probably drunker earlier because Buddy Ryan made it official in Philly that day! What a momentous day!
Anything else happen on those days?
Some historians suggest the end of my prequel helped make me inevitable. I think madmen like Hitler and Mussolini might have been more responsible for me, but maybe that’s why it’s a day in infamy.
Hey Jan. 28, 1986,
I made my bones writing about you.
Wasn’t me.
But now my sack itches from having re-read an account of the that game. Tom Fucking Gordon can blow me, that worthless sack of rhinoceros dung.
You want a date in infamy?
Take your pick. Garvey’s homer on Saturday, or Sutcliffe’s 15-game winning streak ending at the worst possible moment Sunday.
Oh! I do love a party! I hope one of you bastards remembered to bring the Old Style!
None of that shit ever happened! Tom Gordon never pitched for the Cubs! None of you fuckers know shit! So shut the fuck up and drink your beer bitches!
I’m a Mike D., too! Maybe I can write about Nov…
Wait. I need my pudding before I can get started.
Here’s a day the Gladiator might want to forget.
http://www.retrosheet.org/boxesetc/B06030CHN2003.htm
Check the play by play in the bottom of the first, if you’ve forgotten.
St. Louisans treat me as the No. 1 Day in Infamy, even more than the day the tarp machine ate Vince Coleman.
After McKeon left Burnett in to give up five runs in the seventh.
AJ Burnett
“Thanks for leaving me out here you pudding eating, pitcher killing, motherfucker.”
St. Louisans and Joe Morgan hate this day as well.
I’m back, bitches!
We met El Guapo. Not only was he famous, he was so famous, he was infamous.
“The Cub lead was seven runs when the bullpen got involved and by the time Flash Gordon came on in the ninth, most of it had been squandered by the likes of Jeff Fassero and Kyle Farnsworth.”
This certainly didn’t happen on me. http://www.retrosheet.org/boxesetc/B09050FLO2001.htm But I still suck.
Yeah, it’s hard for me to keep all my facts straight. The events six days later should have wiped me from all living memory but there is a lackwit out there somewhere who can tell you exactly where he was when both Wilson’s homer and the World Trade Center were hit. He can also tell you that Mabry’s single was the sorriest Texas League bloop possible and that D. Lee was hit by a two-strike pitch. That person has some issues, I can tell you.
I remember much of that game pretty well. I also can tell you that on Sept. 10, 2001, I celebrated Jon Lieber’s big win with a night out on the town, banged three chicks and went on a coke and hookers binge. I didn’t show up to the ballpark for nearly 2 weeks, and didn’t even get fined!
I am acutally the date of Bruce Kimm’s first HOME game as manager of the Cubs, and Preston Wilson hit a home run off of Kerry Wood, struck out four times and crashed into the centerfield wall on me. What a day I was. I bet you all thought you were going to get better with Baylor out of there, didn’t you? Heh heh heh!
The game on me was actually 16 innings long! And you’ll never guess who gave up the winning run!
CARL PAVANO!!!
God this is so fucking sureal! Something weird is going to happen soon.
Wilson just has to become a Cub. It IS YOUR DESTINY!!!!!
I … must … kill … Carl Pavano.
No me gusta Preston Wilson.
C’mon, I have only 16 votes! Get out there and vote for me, gang!
Hey, I’m a Mike D., and I’m eloquent too. What’s more I’ll grope, set fire to the clothes of, and batter the first cunt that says otherwise.
“You look at it in reverence but not in awe,” Baker said [about Yankee Stadium]. “Look at the monuments but don’t adhere to it too much.”
Inference doesn’t have any of these, where Dusty uses the wrong word with the wrong meaning, and the press just prints it without correction or comment. Dusty does this a lot, as do some other baseball people. Yogi Berra was one.
How about a crazy trade like this……Cubs send Patterson, Dubois, Remlinger, Brownlee, and Wellemeyer to Seattle for everyday Eddy and Ichiro.
Wouldn’t it be funny if we got run over by a bus?
I’m hurt, bitches. Can’t trade me with a pooch arm.
It doesn’t matter Brownlie, you cheat, I’ve seen.
I hope Buerhle gets traded to the Cardinals and faces me in his first start. I will KILL him. Happily kill him!
Oh yeah, Carlos?
MB55!
Gus, if you asked me “best American movie actor”, I’d be stuck between Ed Harris and Robert Duvall (probably Duvall). And to me, the greatest movie star of his generation is either Sean Connery or Clint Eastwood; I prefer Connery. But if you’re talking the guy who’s been in the best movies, I think you have to go with DeNiro. Paul Newman’s always the best thing about his movies, but he’s costarring with, say, Kevin Costner; DeNiro’s getting cast with Al Pacino, Robert Duvall or Dustin Hoffman, and he’s being directed by Martin Scorsese, Francis Ford Coppola, or Michael Mann.
DC Exile, you best recognize, I am one of the most underrated directors around. Slapshot, The Sting, Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid, tell me you’ve seen these dude.