The Franchise might be back before Kerry, at the very least it looks like they’ll be back in whatever order a week from now. What was more troubling? Kerry only going four innings yesterday before hitting his pitch count, or Prior giving up a homer (albeit into the short porch in Yankee Stadium) to The Gremlin?
The Meat Tray didn’t pitch so poorly that some real defense wouldn’t have kept the Cubs in it.
Jim Hendry admits he has some concern about the bullpen. Gee, ya don’t say.
At this rate Kerry will not be a Pacific Coast League All-Star.
They call him Big Game Bob because he makes big shots, but Robert Horry took over the last eight minutes (including OT) last night. That was impressive. When you have to sit and wonder which play was bigger, the leaning lefty dunk over Rasheed Wallace or the game winning three, you know you had a big night.
By the way, how do you leave Horry alone on the court on that last possession? Rasheed’s crazy, but he’s not dumb.
Deron Williams has refused to workout with a buddy for the Blazers. Maybe he doesn’t like bookstores, rain and flannel?
Phil Rogers doesn’t think the Cubs played very well this weekend. Now this is why they pay him the big bucks.
Mariotti puts down the doughnut to crank up the faux indignance over Tiger’s performance yesterday.
Jerome Williams makes his Cubs debut tomorrow. Ooh, feel the excitement.
The great Geovanny Soto says Kerry was even better than last time. Well, that’s something.
Sports Guy on Big Shot Bob. Best moment of the night? When Michelle Tafoya was interviewing Tim Duncan on the court after game and asked, “How did you guys pull this one out?” and Tim pointed over his shoulder to Horry who was being interviewed by Ric Bucher and in plain view of the ABC camera. Duncan never said a word.
You know it’s a typical Cubs season when the beginning of summer has you looking forward NFL training camps. Here’s Peter King.
Mark Kotsay wouldn’t mind a trade. But not to the Cubs. He says he wants to play for a winner. The Cubs are two more games from officially being losers again.
Last week, Peter Gammons cursed the Cubs (the title of last week’s column? — Bullpen sparks Cubs surge). Now he’s after the Tribe.
America’s finest news source with news that Habitrail for Humanity is under fire.
Heaven forbid I lead off.
Or even better, heaven forbid one of the fat-ass writers ask Dusty about it. Instead, like Rick Tea-Bag-Lander, they wonder why Dusty didn’t argue better.
And Dusty’s think’s the media’s tough on him.
Let Desipiots ask him questions after games. He’d need to put a cork in his ass to keep from bleeding to death.
Looks like I STILL don’t exist.
From Sunday’s steaming pile:
” The Cubs lost any chances for comebacks when Will Ohman crumbled in Friday’s 9-6 loss…”
Will Ohman came in with a one-run lead. Kind of hard to mount a comeback when you’re already, you know, WINNING.
Methinks Phil meant Wuertz, who expanded the lead in the 8th inning of Friday’s loss, but facts and Phil have never really seen eye-to-eye.
I’ll get over you,I know I will, I’ll pretend my ship’s not sinking…uh…ah fuck it.
Let’s not forget that the reason you’ve got Bartosh is because the Black Andy Pratt was horrible in Mesa. And Steven Randolph was acquired on the forty-man roster, while I was, you know, kept OFF.
It’s one thing to trade a one-year-in-the-minors Dontrelle Willis for something. It’s another to think teams will overlook your highly-touted 7-foot lefty for free, allowing you to fill the spot with a bum who couldn’t even make the team, and gets replaced by another bum who will get cut by the team during the season.
I think it’s time to ban Hendry from making spring training trades for lefty relievers.
Andy Pratt and Cliff Bartosh ought to be evidence enough.
I know I was a free agent, but isn’t the fact that Hendry brought me in with the notion that I could close, even after my Twin mates said I can’t handle it, reason enough to ban him from making all pen moves.
I am the missing link?
At that point, Hendry was relying on me to close, and you to set up.
But he did expect you to close this year after you rubbed his face in the fact that you couldn’t last year, so yeah, he’s completely a dumbass about the bullpen.
Stop fretting, let’s just blame that cracker goat and go get high on meth.
I’m sure the Crying Towel will be around to comment on this, but the deficit grew last year around the same time the Cardinals got the benefit of playing the Royals and some other crap while the Cubs get the Sox for six. This year, the Cubs get the Sox for six and a road trip to the Bronx, while the Cardinals get Yankees in the Urinal Cake and three games apiece against the two worst teams in baseball, Tampa Bay and Kansas City. The interleague schedule has to be equalized.
On a darker note, Neifi’s deal with the devil has expired. Ronny Cedeno needs to come up and play at least half-time.
I should have come with a disclaimer that read: Dusty, do not overuse…arm held together with straw, bubblegum, and paper clips.
Actually, for us we’d rather play the good teams, because the bad ones are tougher, since they are all gunning for a shot to beat the NL champs…or something…I passed the bar you know?
Yeah, this schedule is bullshit…they don’t want us to win it. Me and Jeromy are gonna go bitch about you know-nothing bitch ass fanatics. At least we made it through 11th grade.
Whatcha talkin’ ’bout, Dave? I just gotta get my guy Neifi going, that’s all. I figure three more weeks at the top of the lineup, and he’ll turn the corner. Never mind that that makes a whole string of 0-5’s at the top and, combined with 1-5 Patterson, I’m essentially robbing Derrek Lee of the Triple Crown while costing my teams numerous scoring opportunities. Also never mind that even when Neifi was Neifi! he was hardly a leadoff hitter (.340 OBP when he was HOT).
Never mind any of that, dude. I know what I’m doing. My teams always finish strong. Expect for, of course, last year.
You mean you guys don’t want to keep me around? Isn’t that what happens around here, you keep a sentimental loser type, who gave you a good year, and yell at those who want him gone? Maybe I should get a raise. I was good once, therefore I am immune from getting the axe. This is the Cubs right?
Stat-of-the-day: Neifi was 0-14 in the Bronx, and is hitting just .118 with ONE walk in the 12 games since June 6. Not only did he make an error at short yesterday that led to a run, he should’ve made the play on A-Rod’s two-out, two-run single in the 4th.
Did anyone hear me in the 9th inning yesterday when I started to talk about Mariano Rivera to stop partway through and say “I don’t even have time to finish talking before Patterson grounds out on the first pitch”?
We played the Yankees? Why didn’t someone wake me up?
Damm, dropped my toothpick again.
Enjoying your season? See you in October…oh wait…no we won’t. Losers.
If the Yankees didn’t want me before, they surely want me now. I am a proven winner and general badass.
We’ll actually see you THIS WEEKEND, assholes.
I am also proof that great athlete doesn’t always translate to great ballplayer.
Yeah, you’ll see us and our army of brooms…Win or Die Trying!
Call us when you win your first postseason series after the Bolshevik Revolution.
We would have won it all in 94’…or something.
We’re thinking of changing our motto from Win or Die Trying to Come to the Ballpark, or Die Trying.
Did someone talk about an Army and that we will win or die trying?
Hmm, I have a lot of movement on my soft pitches. I wonder if I doctor the ball?
You White Sox bitches will have to get past my cheatin’ spitball to win on Saturday!
We love the fact that during wartime, a scumbag team of millionaires has decided to win or die trying. Real appropriate.
What a PR machine they have on the southside of Chicago.
Where the hell has Little Jerry Hairston been? Having use of the DH, couldn’t Dusty have worked him in to the lineup in one of the games? After a handful of good games, Hollandsworth has gone back to being horrible. Until some real outfield talent is aquired, I’d like to see Jerry in left. He and Walker hitting 1-2 might give DLee someone other than himself to drive in. Then you could stick Barrett in the 6 spot and you’d almost have something that resembles a decent lineup. Almost.
I wonder if Osama has a lefty reliever we can get.
No, Greggie, Mark doesn’t cheat, he is on his way to being the best pitcher the game has seen. Jealous? You’ll be knocked out in the 3rd en route to our inevitable sweep. Wrigley sucks.
Okay, so our slogan is tacky and tasteless…I KNEW we should’ve just gone with the “Scotty Podsednik is hottie” ads!
Wrigley sucks? Isn’t he dead?
Korey:
The proof of great athlete good player has been around for years.
I look a little like Zarqawi, no?
Robert Horry allowed me to continue to be seen as an all-time great player. Had he not saved our asses last night, all anyone would remember about this game was how I missed a tip in with 1 second left in regulation and how I crapped my pants repeatedly at the foul line down the stretch.
Thanks, Bob!
You know that dude that is walking across the country? He got picked up in Mendota over the weekend for trespass…he was “resting” along the side of the road, and people thought he dropped dead.
Geeez!
Provo, Spain?
I will have Zambrano KEEL Dusty Baker for robbing me of the RBI portion of the Triple Crown.
You all think you can do better than I can? I was in the World Series bitches.
Can’t have no guys clogging the bases in front of you D.
Zambrano? That’s that nasty sinkerballer you guys have, right? Yeah…what are his numbers like again? Me and Mark will go 1 and 2 in the Cy voting. After we pick up our World Series trophy of course.
I do not doctor my ball. I am just the best lefty in the game. I have better stuff than anyone on the Cubs staff. Jealous much? Oh yeah…Maddux, he was never any good.
Those White Sox fans are so cute. Let’s see if they get past us or anyone else in the playoffs.
Remember 2000? Yeah, that was awesome.
Last week I woke up in a bathtub full of ice with a note that said that my hot streak had been surgically removed.
Are fans are tuff, they wear mean looking black uniforms. And act like hardasses when in groups of 20. Awesome. GRRRR!!!!
I thought I sucked but apparently I was wrong. My worst OBP season the last 5 years was .343 in 2003. In ’01, ’02, and ’04 my OBP’s were .366, .359 and .370. My lifetime OBP when batting #1 in the lineup is .351. Much better than Neifi right? Oh yea, I also take walks and don’t strike out like Korey.
You need me at the top of the lineup Cubs fans. As long as you don’t give up Murton or Pie, it will be a good trade for you.
Hey Yankees…bring it on, we’ll own you no account losers. Red Sox, O’s, any and all of you…bring it on. No stopping us this year. Did you see what we just did to the Dodgers? You guys are crazy, they might as well end the season now, and give us the trophy.
Kotsay is mine. I will trade Alomar and Everett for him, and then trade prospects to get Alomar and Everett back, or something dumb like that. I am starting to belive in Carl, after all, he was right about that whole dinosaur thing.
By “The White Sox’s” logic, I should be a Cy Young Candidate! I SLAMMED the door on L.A. in Dodger Stadium. The Cubs swept the Dodgers on a West Coast Trip! We’re going all the way!
Wait a second…Alomar isn’t on our roster…shit, I’ve got work to do.
I’m not even good enough to be in the Sox farm system. They have guys like “McPrior”, who after a little time will be part of the best rotation ever. I’m not so sure why they call him “McPrior”. Seeing as it is kind of disrespectful to Brandon. That’s like calling him an overhyped pansy.
Remember when the Sox got me and everyone touted it the “Rotation of the 80s?” How’d that work out?
We have logic?
Boy, then we must really SUCK! The Sox sweeping us is hardly any more of an achievement than sweeping Colorado.
Good job, guys! (snicker)
Ken good buddy, if you need me I can be on a flight today. I would love to gat a chance to play Ozzieball, and spit in umpire’s faces’. I’m a grinder Kenny, remember? C’mon pick up that phone.
I would like to come play in Chicago, please. Thanks. My main bud Austin wants to come too. Can you help us out?
Jealous huh? Well after we sweep you this weekend and you begin your nasty slide, there will be plenty of room on our bandwagon. Come see what REAL fans are like for a change.
Sure boys, come on down. Borchard for the 2 of you?
The White Sox and the Dodgers are clad in 1959-vintage uniforms in honor of the 1959 World Series, in which the two teams were participants. Dodger fans vaguely remember that Series, but that is more of a footnote as it might be the weakest of LA’s World Championship teams. The 1963, 1965, 1981 and 1988 teams were arguably better, as were the 2002 Angels. For the downtrodden White Sox fans, 1959 is all they can cling to, even if the best player in Chicago that season resided at Addison and Clark.
I remember the Series vividly. I remember what a shithole the South Side was back then, and coming back I see that urban renewal is alive and well in Chicago… only north of Roosevelt Road, a mere 17 blocks north of Comiskey.
Not so fast there Kenny, hey Adam and Austin, can either of you guys pitch?
Um Vin, why don’t you turn WGN on next time we’re on so you can listen to a REAL announcer. You couldn’t hold my jockstrap.
Who will the schlub fans root for when it is us and St Louis in the Series?
Apparently a Sox fan is actually reading a message board. Hold on now, what’s this?… It seems his girlfriend, who had to learn to read to get into beauty school, is actually reading the postings for him, as she does with the funnies in the Sunday paper. More on this as the events unfold.
Hey, not cool, I can read the funnies…they do have pictures you know.
How many of me are out there? Listening to Sox fans, there must be a million.
Cuz we have so many.
When you invite trouble, it usually finds you.
This is the same tired saw you constantly drone on about year after year it seems.
“The interleague schedule isn’t fair!” is the rally cry of the whiny also-ran.
The reason the Cubs haven’t overtaken the Cardinals is the Cubs can’t string together wins and runs on a consistent basis. And this is because the Cubs don’t have a good offense and have been beset by some key injuries, not because the Cardinals have played 6 extra games against teams that have losing records.
Check the standings, Dave. The Cubs are 9.5 games back. Do you think they’d be in front of the Cards if the Cardinals didn’t play KC and Tampa Bay? (The answer is no.)
Stop wringing your hands over the Cardinals and get back to important brow-furrowing, such as the Score line-up (which you hate but tune-in to every day).
The beginning of the nba season will take presence over any series involving the white sox vs. cards. Maybe the Madrid fault line can smile that day and if it can hold down the piss taste, get rid of some of the shit on this earth.
If I have a good series, can I expect another poignant column about how every time I hit a double the White Sox become more fraudulent?
Now Hey, everyone should ease off me just a little. Sure, I may be terrible in almost every pitching situation, not to mention the fact that I appear out of the bullpen only when
a. we’re winning by 8 runs or more (something that I will fix so we only end up winning by 4 runs)
b. we’re losing by 5 runs or more in the 8th or 9th inning
but my name is great for puns!
Cliff Barf-tosh!
Cliff Bar-gosh!
Shiv Bartosh!
That, ladies and gentlemen, is the reason I should be kept on the team and not used for firewood. Thank you.
Face it…we suck and are jealous of everything Sox.
I wouldn’t last long in the Cub bullpen.
Honesty compels me to say that 35 of the first 78 posts were all made by the same guy. He’s persistent if nothing else. He’s also taking a break from voting for Paul Konerko 8,000 times on the very meaningful Chicagosports.com All-City team.
Hope that ankle bracelet isn’t too itchy.
Actually on me, some sox fan hacked in and skewed the numbers. Than we put an editors note up that it had happend. We didn’t do anything about it though, and we are only posting hate filled nonsensical sox fan rants. Frontrunning fuckballs.
Wouldn’t post any of my responses, so than I started writing my own swear and hate filled responses, and when I try and post them, the post screen goes blank, it’s odd.
Hmm, a Daily Dose that declares the Cubs a dead and forgotten team for the 94th time this season. With half of the fucking season to play.
All in the same day where Andy says Katie Holmes portrayed herself as a good actress. Talk about a staple-busting laugh.
Somebody’s in the house — perhaps me!
BEST FANS IN THE WORLD!!!!
The visibility here at Desipio.com is pretty poor today. It’s hard to find anything meaningful with the recent flood of shit washing over caused by some loser who has nothing to do than troll websites about baseball teams he doesn’t like.
Pms, this place is full of fair weather wannabes…you know, Cub Fans.
When exactly has the weather been fair for Cubs fans? Or for Sox fans for that matter?
I won a Cy Young once.
I don’t know brother, I only get to go out to the yard for 45 minutes a day.
Hey, wasn’t my U.S. Open memorable? I was three strokes ahead after 3 rounds! I’m a fucking GOD! I’m so cool. Suck it, Tiger! I’m great! Take that Vijay!
Aw fuck, I choked, even with a great first 54 holes of golf. That would be the shame if that happened to the Sox. They don’t have a track record of doing that do they?
I am calling off the season now, and declaring the Sox the winners, because that is what their fans apparently think has already happend.
I understand that this move may be more unpopular then my all star game/ homefield for the Series move, but sox fans all by a lot of run down cars and most carry knives. Since I sell used cars and hate getting knifed, this seems like a logical move.
Back off, Retief! I produced the blueprint for a collapse that the White Sox will follow:
Just ignore the mongoloid trolls that insist upon coming to a Cubs oriented website to post stupid “Go Sox” and “Cubs suck” messages. They’re just crying children looking for attention. If you give them that attention, you’re rewarding their behavior. Just ignore them; once they see that they can’t get a rise out of you, they’ll find some other way to waste their time.
Uh, I don’t recall mentioning anything about the Score and it’s line-up. And why does it bother you if I criticize something I listen to? How can I form an honest opinion if I don’t listen to it.
As for the interleague schedule, I’ll stand by my original statement: playing the Royals and Tampa Bay gives the Cardinals a distinct advantage over the Cubs playing the Sox and Yankees. Probably anywhere from 3-6 games in the standings.
That being said, Dusty’s batting order, Corey’s stubborness, Neifi’s flame-out, and long-term absences due to injuries for Wood, Nomar, and Prior have something to do with that deficit, too.
I don’t believe today’s Dose gives up on the Cubs’ season. It merely says that if you continue to run the same clowns out every day, the circus never gets any better.
The wife and I are sponsoring the South Side portion of the Cubs-Sox Interleague Series!
I’d like to point out that I have not been arrested for child abandonment since the kids turned 18!
For Father’s Day we gave dad an Escalade! It’s keyless.
You just clip those two wires together hanging off the steering column.
We had talent and we didn’t win. You expected to field a team worse than us and get better results? That’s lunacy.
At least Sox fans like me have the balls to take care of injustices that we see happening to our team on the field.
We’d hang out with our own kind, but there are only 27 of us.
That weekend series was definitely hard to stomach! But these Cubs will do anything to torture us fans.
Between the bullpen collaspe, Dusty playing Enrique Wilson, the batting order juggles, and Korey up to his his same old act at the plate and a circus act on Saturday in the outfield, are we not surprised about being out 9.5 games to the Red Satanic Fowl?
Then you have Kerry Wood up to his same old tricks in his rehab outing at Iowa- trying to strikeout every batter, walking batters, hitting batters, and high pitch counts. He’s on his way to being as terrible as when he left.
At this rate, Prior will be back before Wood. That’s even after Prior just about had a broken arm and his career disappear before his eyes. Mean while, Kerry was relaxing his pussy lip soreness and spasms along his vagina wall.
Between the last two years around this time with the shortstop situation and the outfield situation, it has been one hell of a kick to the head for Cubs fans.
Of course, there is just no one stepping forward once again to be held accountable for this continuous bullshit.
This organization just loves punishing its fans year after year after year. If they would just listen a bit to what the fans and the media have to say and do with this team, things might turn out a bit brighter.
FCOF=Fuck Cub Organization Forever(oh, they’ll just do that to themselves)
Baker Basher
Maybe you should be a man and knife em’ Baker Basher.
Does this mean we’ve seen the last of Baker Basher?
Nah. Didn’t think so.
there are well over 27,000 of us at each and every game.
Oh, Dave B, if you’re going to keep belaboring the interleague play gripe, at least wipe your nose on the crying towel and check your facts.
The Cards play TB 3 times and KC 3 times while the Cubs play the White Sox 6 times. The other 9 games are the same opponents, and MLB can’t do anything about the grave injustice of the Cards beating the Yankees 2 out of 3, which you seem to have missed.
If playing the White Sox 6 games costs you “Probably anywhere from 3-6 games in the standings,” then I think you’d have to agree you aren’t a very good baseball team whose distinct disadvantage is its schedule.
Did anyone read my steaming pile from a few days ago where I say someone should convince Kerry Wood to be a reliever “for the good of the team”? That way he can walk 4 guys 2 of every 3 days in the 6th or 7th inning instead of 6 guys every 5th day.
Should not be an excuse for being so far behind the Cardinals.
The Cubs are behind the Cardinals because we play to the level of our competition. The Cardinals DOMINATE the poor sisters of the league and we play .500 against them. We are not a consistent ballclub at all and the Cards are. Until we get a leadoff hitter, they’ll continue to dominate us in the standings.
Sorry, I guess someone else is posting as you whining about the Score, yet tuning in daily…
June 17, 2005, 09:03:43 AM
“Number one, Jesse Rogers is an idiot. He can’t get through a 20-minute segment of any of his shows without saying something stupid, and it usually ends up being repeated in sound clips by other hosts who make fun of him. He is a straight-up clown.”
June 11, 2005, 01:26:46 PM
“In a related note, as they were signing off the Baum/Rosenbloom show this morning, it sounded like Steve Rosenbloom is leaving the Score as well. He was the only decent host on the weekends. Now it’s Hoody, Jesse Godawful Rogers, and a host of clowns.”
June 10, 2005, 01:10:38 PM
“As I’ve said before. from what I could tell, Hood was a good producer and actually had some pretty funny bits. But that doesn’t translate into on-air talent, certainly not to the point where you can carry (or even help carry) a four-hour show. He has these weird solilioquies that just don’t cut it on sports talk radio. And he has a condescending tone with non-Sox fans and is quick to use the rascist card.”
Apologies. I thought you were a rare breed: A loyal Score listener who hates the Score, but is incapable of operating the radio’s on/off button or turing selector dial. Conflicting, ain’t it?
Geez, is it gang up on Dave B day? I hope no one’s thumbing through all my past comments to use them against me!
I’m still bitching about the Reds and hoping to get traded to the Cubs. Hello?? Anyone there?? Echo echo…..
We are the tits!!! Just try and stop us!!! DK57!!!
Can’t have no Adam Dunn, dude. Need some dark skinned fellas, Dunn can’t handle the heat as well, bro.
Sox fans aren’t so good with me. From ESPN.com’s attendence numbers through today:
20. Chicago Sox: 33 games 798,811 total 24,206 average per game 59.6 % of capacity.
24,206 is not well over 27,000.
I make people dumber…do not, under any circumstances, listen to or talk about me.
I meant since the weather turned. Either way it’s colder at Comiskey, a tougher neighborhood, harder to get to, and smarter fans choose better which matchups they want to pay to see.
I think Tom Skilling could find some weather stats showing just the opposite.
You don’t get it. We’re poor. That’s what Hawk always says when asked about attendance. We’re blue collar so we have to pinch our pennies and food stamps and only go to three or four games a year.
Meanwhile, the yuppie blue bloods can just make a withdrawal out of their trust and buy season tickets to the Homo Fest on the North Side, where 36,000 plus (102 percent of capacity last year) can have a sunny circle jerk.
So what if this isn’t true.
So what if the Sox need to win to have their fans show up while the Cubs need to win to have their fans, who always show up, stop trying to boo them to death?
It’s right next to an interstate and the Red Line, and about 3 blocks from the Green Line.
I am the best park in the majors.
By the way, I’m still an overrated assbag. I have 35 stolen bases, but only 40 runs scored and 10 extra base hits. So what if the Sox are winning because of their overachieving starting pitching (Buehrle notwithstanding because he’s actually as good as, or maybe even better than he’s pitched), and a bullpen that usually keeps the opponent from adding on runs late in the game, setting up the inordinate amount of comeback wins we’ve had.
I’ll say it again…BEST FANS IN THE WORLD. Knowledge, passion, ettiquette, humor, and ability to razz other team’s players, are the things that we rule at. Come to a Sox game, you leave feeling like you just studied for the baseball S.A.T.
Sox fans are great with me!
Who the hell am I ?
indicative of passion and never giving up. “Win or Die Trying” !
The Big Red Machine
The Amazin’ A’s
Murder’s Row-The Bronx Bombers
The Go Go Sox
The Win Or Die White Sox ??? You betcha’ ! A few months from now we’ll be on the list of best/most fitting nicknames. This team has all the tools to be like the A’s, Reds, O’s, and Yankees dynasty-like teams. Stop the hate, and enjoy the season gang.
Between the insecure assbags who are actually embarassing real Sox fans by trolling a Cubs fan site, and the one weirdo with a highly unhealthy bee in his bonnet about Dave B., I’d say things seem to be getting out of hand around this fucking playground.
Being in a “tougher neighborhood” is not me.
Hell, I rode my bike up to The Joan last night to meet some friends that were going to the game and I didn’t even have tickets. And I’m a Cubs fan. Not all of us live in Lincoln Park, you generalizing douchebags.
Most of us actually live in Naperville and the like.
It’s hard to embarass us? That’s news.
Hey! I’m from Naperville! I grew up around Comiskey Park! And I’m a waste of roster space!
Am I what one would consider a Sox site ?
Can’t we just get rid of Dusty Baker? At this point I’ve given up on him ever leading us to anything good ever again…
Great three-year plan Dusty… Get us farther and farther from the World Series every single year you are here…
I’m closing dingy neighborhood bars, so sox fans can leave “work” and go to more day games at the cell.
Sox fans aren’t all trailer-living metheads.
And Cub fans aren’t soft, yuppie frat boys.
In fact, I know quite a few Sox fans that live around Wrigley.
Furthermore, suburbs like Elmhurst and Naperville are LOADED with Sox fans, and you can hardly get leafier, wussier towns than DuPage County suburbs.
Conversely, there are no shortage on “des dems and dose” guys who happen to be die-hard Cub fans. It’s a big city. I’m sure there are even–egads!–queer Sox fans.
The generalizing on both ends gets pretty old, pretty quickly. God knows I’m guilty of it too when I’m busting balls with my Sox fans friends, and it was funny here at first. But now it’s just regurgitation and has become tired and lame. Pass me a beer.
–putting flamesuit on–
Gotta have a plan, BC dude.
Mmmmm….beer
Apparently, according to Mike D. at least, I am for wussies. What do a former commander of Special Operations Command and a world renowned martial artist have in common? They live in me.
We act like we’re not like New Yorkers, but we are one in the same. Most of us act like we live in the heart of Mogadishu, as opposed to a realitively safe, clean, and industrialized city. We also have a chip on our shoulder because we are seen as a joke by the people on both coasts.
Guilty of generalizing.
I’ll just go back to my cave now. Go Cubs.
You got room for me down there Mike? I’m taking a fucking beating on the message board today.
Chicago people are a joke! Excuse me, I must be leaving now. I’ve been here for the requisite 3 innings.
Fuck you, Jim. I don’t have enough donuts for the both of us. Make a friggin’ deal, and maybe I’ll save you some.
What if I brought some barbecue and we shared ?
I would be nice too Jim.
OK Mike, I’ll give you Corey Patterson for a donut
How about 1/2 a donut?
A hot dog for a donut?
WWHD. What Would Homer Do?
That donut has a hole in its swing, though.
“A” hole? I think the over/under on the holes in Korey’s swing is five…
Korey = “a” hole
I demand Doritos. Only giant sized bags will do.
Did someone say barbeque? Um, that’s fingerlicking good!
Good Dose.
Mostly worthless comments.
Fine, no Doritos for you then.
We never miss an opportunity to clog a message board. We’ll settle this little rift between the Cubs and Sox fans. We’ve got the best fans, team, ballpark, food, neighborhood, weather, women, health insurance, music, waste management services, community development programs & mimes. At awesome Tropicana field, all the seats are leather massage recliners, the bathrooms feature free Vietnamese prostitutes, and they pay you to drink microbrewed beer. You don’t leave until you’ve caught a fly ball, and the players will take extra BP to make sure you do. In the rare instance that the Rays lose, you get a refund and a free ticket to the next game. I hope this clears things up so you guys don’t have to argue about who’s best now. Everyone sucks. Except the Rays.
These Devil Rays you speak of, do they serve milk and honey as well ?
Yes, of course. We serve them in our special section for deposed dictators.
And what about Doritos?
I am the combined 2005 OBP of the first 2 hitters in the Cubs lineup today.
If you spotted a drunk monkey a 3-4-5 of Lee, Burnitz, Ramirez and a dartboard, I think said monkey could make a better lineup than our manager.
Dusty, do you WANT to get fired?
Great Dose title…a golden chapter in Knicks history, Micheal Ray Richardson…”The ship be sinking”
I’m glad nobody can get on base before me. Solo HRs are awesome!
Can’t have them bases clogged, dudes.
That was me up there, man. I threw my voice, so it looked like D Lee was talking. I’m multitalented, bro.
I still fucking hate myself, look at me, on tv, I am ugly. Real bad kind of ugly.
SOMEONE PLZ KILL ME.
cocks
Seriously, Can I just be one color? You don’t know what it’s like being bi.
No no no, I’m wrong. I’m clearly the superior hat – the blue/blue with the red button looks a bit gay by comparison to me. Give me me any day of the week. I’m far better looking. Mmm… me.
I will dominate you guys…or, something to that effect. Ah, who knows?
We’re the shittiest team in the AL, but we can hit that yummy Sox pitching.
First we were pitching and not hitting, now we are doing the opposite. What’s gonna happen to us when we don’t do either? Either way, because of our torrid start, we are basically in the playoffs this year. As far as beating good teams when it counts, we’ll the jury’s out on that one. And oh yeah, the Twins are not as good as years past, but still hanging around.
To clarify, I still hate myself. A lot. I want to die. The imposter confusing you belongs to the head of Dusty Baker. Who is probably tacky. In a fashion sense of the word. I mean tacky. That word I was speaking of.
I’ve also talked to grey uni. He tells me he wishes he could be a lighter blue color, like things used to be, for a short time. Grey depresses me. /me chokes self with belt while masterbating.
Actually, I am pretty cool.
Let’s see: We lose 4 in a row BADLY and then I pull out the gray uni and we win? What’d we do the last time we wore gray?
I think the Blue Uni is cursed! CURSED!
Tonight, at my house, my wife, she makes tacos. I ask my wife, I say: “Can Hank come to taco night?” She say to me, that yes he can. Same as usual though, he must bring a dessert. I tell him to bring tollhouse cookies. My friend Aramis, this time he bring the flan.
6 Chicago Cubs 38,704
19 Chicago Sox 24,504
You can’t count the 2,500 crack dealers in the neighborhood as attendees. Sox “fans” don’t go to the games.