Mike Downey puts down the pudding and writes a lucid column on Joe.
Phil Rogers compares Joe to Sean Lowe and Bill Simas. Joe should sue him.
The Cubs’ rotation is finally loaded again. Actually, with Jerome Williams in the rotation and Ryan Dempster in the bullpen, this is even better than the one that was projected when the season started.
Holly’s not worried about trade talk. And Dusty has a disturbing comment about Derrek and Albie.
“Now if you put them both in a room and it’s dark and you have to pick an All-Star first baseman, whichever one you put your hand on, you’re not going to be disappointed.”
Why would you be groping for men in a dark room?
Kerry doesn’t want to talk about his mechanics. Maybe they charged him extra for things like a muffler belt and a new kelvinator? I hate it when mechanics make up stuff like that.
Joe took it like a man. With Dusty in a dark room.
Mariotti puts down the doughnut to sing the praises of Steve Stone’s influence on Kerry Wood’s performance. Mariotti should be beaten senseless with a muffler belt.
Mike Kiley says the Cubs want Preston Wilson. You do not want me to run the same comparison between Prestone and Corey that I did with Dunn. These two are twinsies, in the worst way. But isn’t the strangest part of this column the way Kiley tries to find a reason to not do any of his rumored trades? If Rich Hill becomes Dontrelle Willis, I’ll eat my freakin’ hat.
The Illini meet the Tar Heels again next year. Chances are, the stakes will be a little less.
The Wizard of Roz on Wood and now we find out that Bill Holden walked from Arizona to Illinois just to scam some doctor out of some free knee replacements.
Gary Sheffield used a rain delay and a captive media audience to complain his way out of a trade to the Mets.
Bob Klapisch on where the Yankees go now.
The Marlins think they can get Gary back. Sure.
Mike Stanton and Paul Quantrill will be ex-Yankees today. Stanton sucks so bad he was traded for Felix Heredia in the winter. Ouch.
Mark Kotsay wants a no-trade clause from the A’s.
Sid Hartman is old and insane. He talks with Kevin McHale who says Rashard McCants isn’t that much of douche and that the Twins’ owner Carl Pohlad is ready to spend some money. Whatever.
A look at how (if) Kevin Towers and Sandy Alderson can co-exist in San Diego.
Kenny Rogers didn’t know when to hold them, didn’t know when to fold them and certainly didn’t know when to walk away.
The Beege knows the pleasure of pain. Eww.
Dream Job loser (and I mean “loser” in every sense of the word) Maggie Haskins has an SI.com column. Yes, I’m the only person in the world without one. When Kaseberg gets one, I officially kill myself. Maggie’s column is predictably horrid, except for one funny Steve Stone quote, which I’m sure she didn’t actually hear.
America’s finest news source on alternative summer camps.
Me for Dunn? You’re drinking your breakfast again.
I have to agree with Kerry. I mean, I have a lifetime average of .249, I’ve never hit higher than .266 and only never struck out fewer than 170 times in any full season and I’m on pace for about 170 this year. I do have an OPS of .900 in my career, which is good but have you seen me play the outfield? Whoo boy! I need a batting helmet and a bushel basket out there. In other words, I’m Preston Wilson with a better OBP, less speed and no glove. And while you can have Preston for spare parts you have to give up a “Kerry Wood type” talent for me. That’s not something you should do in a heartbeat.
“Greg Maddux 1, Tony Womack 0”.
Brilliant.
what the hell is a muffler belt?
Jay, it’s that belt your little gay lover smacks you on the ass with every night.
I got another winning lineup for today, dudes.
Li’l Jerry 2b
Corey cf
D Lee 1b
E-ramis 3b
Barrett c
Dewboy lf
Ronny ss
Macias rf
Greggie p
If it weren’t for me, Adam Dunn would be playing first full-time. You can go ahead and trade Kerry Wood within your division if your so convinced he’s the pathetic bust you assume he is. He’ll be the best pitcher on this team since Jose Rijo – the face of this franchise for 15 years. And Adam Dunn will be Dave Kingman with thicker thighs.
Boy, you guys are just as dumb as a bag a hammers if you do this deal.
At least he’s got Corey bumped down. I wouldn’t mind if he did that every day, bumped him down a spot until he wound up where he belonged. Sure, it’d mean he bats third tomorrow, but he’ll eventually be in the #8 hole by Wednesday game vs. Atlanta.
And the Gremlin in right with Dubois in left? I actually feel sorry for Strut today. He’s going to have flashbacks to last year, only it’ll be worse.
Is that lineup serious? And if so, why is Baker worried about Burnitz facing Capuano (the lefty/righty matchup, I assume) that he’s willing to play Macias there, but not so worried that he’s batting Patterson 2nd?
I’m praying that Roger Cedeno Jr. goes 4-5 and maybe gets a shot to play most days. I appreciate what Nefi’s done early in the season, but his regression to the norm has been about painful as we anticipated and one of the many things Dust Bag doesn’t seem to comprehend.
That’s the real lineup, dudes. I can’t have Todd Walker in there cuz Capuano’s a crafty lefty. I gotta have one lefty in there, though, and if you put Todd Walker and Corey Patterson in a dark room and you send Capuano in there, I’m thinking he’s reaching for Patterson, dudes, so I think Patterson has got the edge.
I meant CESAR Cedeno Junior. Roger would be too young to have a major-league son. I mean, he’s not Eric Young.
Don’t trade Kerry Wood for me. It’s not like I’m 25 with a career .900 OPS or anything, and I don’t light up Wrigley Field like it’s a pinball machine. Oh, and it’s not like your minor league system is deep in pitching and woefully inept of corner outfielders or anything. Nah. Couldn’t use me.
Do I exist today?
He knocked her up so really what choice did he have?
http://www.eonline.com/News/Items/0,1,16853,00.html?fdfour3
Actually, dudes, if you put Todd Walker and Corey Patterson in a dark room, I’d still be able to see Walker.
Mike D., you have stolen the clarificational follow-up post from BC’s playbook. I’m going to have to run you. You’re outta here!
When I clicked on the link for the Affleck-Garner wedding the banner ad on E! was for Trojan.
We are like assholes. Everybody has us. Except for the Cubs because they had theirs removed last winter. It was painful, being seperated from one’s butthole and it really caused a buildup of excrement in the early going. But the build up is not so deep and so serious that it warrants trading away the one strength the team truly has, starting pitching, for something that could be had elsewhere without the cost of sending Kerry by God Wood to a division rival. That’s the type of thing the Reds would do and it’s precisely why they are in their current state of disaster.
Hey, is that lineup serious? If so, where did you get it?
We’ve been saying that’s the lineup for a few hours now.
We needed to rest today after winning the game yesterday.
See ya in the 9th!
Other than Macias being alive, and Patterson batting second, that lineup is all right.
Hell, it’s almost great by Dusty standards. I’m just amazed he didn’t put Patterson and Macias at 1-2.
That dumbass church boy put charcoal in a gas grill because it was out of propane.
I kept furiosuly barking at him that he was an idiot, just order some Subway sandwiches instead. Would he listne to me? Noooo.
And now I’m dead. Thanks, guy. See you in hell.
No prob. I can win with that.
Ummm, Andy.
20 minutes unitl game time. Where’s our afternoon-wasting Gamecast setup? We may have to, you know, do WORK today, otherwise.
Brave!!!
Dunn has an OPS of .940. The LFers he would be replacing have OPSs of .700 and .800. Oh and by the way, Dunn is younger than both of them as well.
As for Cubs fans irrational fear of strikeouts, yes strikeouts are bad. But focusing on eliminating only strikeouts, is accepting other ways of making outs. All outs are bad. As pointed out, in certain situations, strikeouts aren’t even the worst result a batter can have (double plays). So we should be looking for people who do not make outs.
Adam Dunn does not make an out about 38.4% of the time. Our left fielders currently do not make an out 29.9% and 31.3% of the time. And considering that Adam achieves this while still maintaining his power (slugging .558 versus .393 and .489), he would be a huge improvement for our offense.
If we can get him, while trading from out strength (our pitching), I say go for it. Sure I would prefer to see prospects sent instead of major leaguers, but the only arms I would consider off limits are The Franchise and Big Z.