Greg started seeing spot and took himself out of the game. Not before he gave up another homer to fat little Javy Valentin, though.
Kerry Wood got a “steroid” shot. At this point, going on the ‘roids might be his only hope.
Jeff Garlin proves to be overmatched by the Cubs e-mail questions. Just awful.
Peter Gammons is a nice man. He’s wrong a lot, but he’s nice.
Rick Morrissey on Jay Williams’ comeback.
The Bulls are interested in Toni and Toni is interested in the Bulls. Too bad he’s not interested in using soap.
Rex who? Oh, yeah, him.
Mariotti puts down the doughnut to try to be clever about Kerry Wood. Jay’s overmatched by…well, anything.
Austin kEARnS loves the Cubs so much he just can’t help but beat their brains in.
Kerry Wood won’t become the Cubs’ closer. That’s right. But he can still have a nice spot in the bullpen between Will Ohman and Bob “Super” Novoa.
Johnny Damon says he’d like to cash some checks from the Cubs. He says that about a team in whatever city he’s in that day.
Rozner on the Blackhawks (zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz) and some other stuff.
The Marlins-Orioles trade is dying a slow death, and now the Red Sox are butting in and trying to flip AJ Burnett to the Phillies for Billy Wagner.
Why would the Twins want Kevin Millar? Why would anybody want him?
Gordon Edes on the Red Sox moves and more from Kevin Millar.
Hal McCoy’s quest to get Austin kEARnS to the Cubs continues. Also check out the great comment from Adam Dunn after Griffey the Younger made fun of him for throwing a baseball to a Cubs fan:
I only had about a one in ten chance of hitting a Reds fan.
Bruce Miles with some thoughts about the Cubs getting Adam kEARnS and a not-so-subtle dig at Joe Morgan.
The Yankees are out to land Randy Winn or Eric Byrnes. Oooh, think big.
The Phillies are after Kip Wells. Really? Are they trying to lose?
Acoording to the Elias Sports Bureau, when Joe Crede dropped that foul pop-up and Manny Ramirez hit the game-winning homer on the next the pitch? That doesn’t happen too often.
Manny Ramirez hit a ninth-inning, game-winning home run in the Red Sox’s 6-5 victory over the White Sox on Thursday. Ramirez’s at-bat was prolonged when Joe Crede dropped a foul pop-up. It was the first such home run — a late-inning game-winner after a batter was given a so-called “second life” — since Aug. 28, 1992. Wally Joyner dropped Dan Gladden’s foul pop-up in the eighth inning, and then Gladden hit a two-run tiebreaking homer to give the Tigers a 4-2 win over the Angels.
America’s finest news source with an interesting editorial.
“Hey, there’s a lot of season left. You should be more optimistic,†I’m not being a pessimist. I’m being a realist.
Two entire freaking months left to play?
We have 67 games left — that’s being realist.
I apparently did not watch the Cubs game last Sunday v. Pittsburgh, because the Cubs unsuccessfully attempted a suicide squeeze.
Of course, thanks to the watered-down NL, they’ll be close enough to the playoffs for the Cubs to send out playoff ticket info, and collect the deposits from their season ticket holders, earning them a nice chunk of interest before they have to reimburse us in October.
My tickets are in my cousin’s name. He tells me that, in years past (’98, ’01, ’03, and ’04), when he’s made the payment, that the check is cashed immediately. Like the next day. They don’t wast any time.
It’s always win-win at Tribune Tower.
Dusty is a moron at times, but Jim Hendry deserves the blame for this mess. The offseason was dedicated to getting rid of Sammy, and that’s it. He gave us a Left and Right fielder that should be 4th outfielders at best. He gave us the bs line about Dubois – anyone that watched him knew he had a slow bat, can’t hit a curve and treats a baseball like you’d treat a leper from biblical times.
On top of that, he put together a bullpen that was a recipe for disaster. Making it even hearder, you had to deal with the China Doll Kerry Wood. You have to carry six major league starting pitchers on your roster because you can’t count on him to pitch more than half a season.
They can say what they want, but they had no intention on playing to win. And Dusty isn’t going anywhere. He will more than likely be the first manager to lead them to three consecutive .500 seasons in over 40 years – he will get a extension in the off season.
“He will more than likely be the first manager to lead them to three consecutive .500 seasons in over 40 years – he will get a extension in the off season.”
‘lead’ is a pretty strong word concerning one Dusty Baker.
I went 5 innings, Don Cooper put it down as a complete game for me.
I, alot more than that syphilitic chimpanzee Baker, am responsible for the Cubs three-year run of +.500 ball.
Did I just call Baker a syphilitic chimpanzee? I’m sorry. I take it back, and apologize for syphilitic chimpanzees everywhere, as even a syphilitic chimpanzee would be doing a far better job running this team than this tool.
SO why was I worried about base runners when I should have been worrind about the batter I was facing??
Wow, I was 40 years ago?
Does most of Desipio’s readership know this?
The answer to the question “What have the Cubs done over the first 95 games to give you the slightest reason to believe Dusty and company are capable of pulling their heads out of their asses long enough to make this so-called ‘run’ some people insist on thinking is somehow coming?” is me.
You know, as mad as I am at this team, that picture is fucking hilarious.
I was thinking the same about 0.5 seconds ago, CT.
You wonder why I go to the mound every six pitches? It’s because the ship is sinking and it’s the highest point on the field. I’m no dummy.
Sorry Mark. No room in the liferaft for you. Jose’s a switch hitter we had to make room for his right and lefthanded bats.
And you can’t just shove Holly…
See, all of you hate Busty Faker now too. I am a sage.
I pray every night that I do not get traded to the Cubs. God please, what did I do to deserve being banished to the Northside? I’d rather you sent me to play in Mexico
Yeah! Andy’s right! We just needed him to lead us with the team into the murky waters of the briny deep!
There are so many bandwagon posters here  you’re on; you’re off… Stay off. At least stay off until you can make up your mind on your own instead of waiting for the high sign from St. Andy to splat yourself on the sidewalk. Half of you waited with bated breath while the Cubs ran up a respectable 7 of 8 sandwiched around the All-Star Break. Now, you’re elbowing one another aside to throw a shovelful of dirt on the coffin. Either support this team and stick around for the grisly end, or go away and cheer the Red Sox. Whatever you do, have some fucking ‘nads and stay the course instead of swaying into the ditch every 10 miles.
Now that Andy’s pronounced the Time of Death as 13:05, July 21, you all feel it’s fine to pile on with the rubber stamp of “This team sucks! I knew it all along!” It’ll be so enjoyable to see you lemmings when Andy leads you all back by the nose in two weeks.
Seeing Nomar’s eyes peering above the water cracked me up.
Or wait, is that Prior?
Or wait, is that Prior?
CT, SD, Dave B, Andy….I agree. I pissed myself. Then I downloaded the picture.
I don’t know if we’re going to be led anywhere by our noses in two weeks, but yeah. It is pretty humorous to see the mutual panty-bunching going around. We’ve witnessed the same pattern develop time and time again here — full of tissue boxes and memorials during losing streaks, deader than shit during winning streaks.
Rain or shine, win or lose, there’s still 67 baseball games held over 2 months to play, we’re short a shortstop (and may still be when Hammie gets back), our pitching staff keeps fucking up, our hitting is always usually fucking up, we wish our bullpen could do anything but not fuck up every once in awhile, but things can unfuck themselves folks!
Dusty, on the other hand..
I think that’s Prior.
Rubber Stamper, I agree that it gets tiresome to hear people call their team dead, and even more so when they crow about how early they called it. But, what do you want, fake optimism?
The Cubs just went 5-3 against Pirates and the Reds. They’ve regularly sucked against good teams (see, e.g., series against the Yankees, Nats, and Braves), and they’re going into St. Louis knowing they pissed away a winable game. So, if you are going to write about the Cubs today, don’t you at least have to say, shit, things look bad? And then ask yourself, is there any reason for a turnaround?
I admit that I hopped on the “hey, maybe the Cubs are turning it around” bandwagon during the all-star break and after the first two games against the Pirates. But the Cubs pissed away their positive momentum. No one’s happy about it.
Oh joy, Rubber Stamper is back to tell us all that we’re not supposed to be me after the Cubs piss away yet another couple games. That never gets old.
You sure have us all pegged there, Rubber Stamper. We were all ready to fellate Dusty right up until Andy posted today’s Dose. We were all absolutely sure this team was going all the way right up until Andy told us differently.
If being Dusty’s Stepford Bitch turns you on, then by all means, do your thing. But that doesn’t make you a “real fan”, nor does it make those of us who dare to be pissed off when the Cubs crap themselves “bandwagon fans”. It just makes us reasonable human beings, and you Dusty’s bitch.
Rubber Stamper obviously doesn’t ready MY fucking blog….
Eh…I’d care more but my give a damn is busted…..
Maybe I should get my own web log. I’ll call it “Unrealistic Cub Fans Assume World Series Win Every Year, And Get Angry At Those Who Don’t”. A little long winded, but so are my awful posts. Oh, gotta go, my mom needs the computer now. I want you all to go root for the Red Sox now.
If by be like us R.S., do you mean you want Cub fans to be dellusional and act like there is only one team in all of the land? Kind of like most Cubs fans already do.
I’m even worse than that Sox Fan poster.
Meh. Again, too many tools take it close to the bone and freak out. It’s the reactionary reflex of many in this crowd, I guess.
SD and Brian have it right up above.
Re-read the post. It chides you for not making up your own mind and windsocking the direction Andy is forecasting that day. It’s no different, as SD mentions, than the usual panty-bunching. It’s just tiresome to see the funereal looks on the rubber stamper’s faces as the Cubs head into St. Louis. The Cubs’ body has been post mortemed so many times, it’s looking like Michael Myers.
Sack up, is the point. Be pissed. Be bummed. But do like most people after viewing the body: get on with it, and take life on the next day. Don’t joyride the corpse to the burial plot. If you’ve got an emotion, stick with it. If you’re pronouncing the team dead, move on and send some flowers to 1060 W. Addison. But don’t come back around the graveyard once Lee and Ramirez belt some homers.
It’s obvious from my posts, that I am a hardass.
I am a mind reader!
That’s what we are. They beat us up, don’t show for dinner, steal money from us, cheat on us with our best friend, and run over our cat, and we say it’s all over. Then they make us a mixtape with our favorite Journey song and say they love us and that they’ll change, and suddenly we realize as bad as they treat us, we can’t imagine living without them. We’re pathetic. It’s our fault.
Dr. Phil would be ashamed.
Holy Crow did you sheep fall hard for my rantings yet again.
Go look at the original Rubber Stamp post. It’s calling out people for wind-socking whichever way the team goes, following the thread of hope (or gloom) Andy weaves into his Dose.
You may think insults wound or discourage, but they don’t. This should be obvious by now. The oh-so witty comebacks by imposters are waved off because they aren’t germaine to my contention that a fair number of people who read and post on this site can’t make up their mind if they are going to support the 2005 Cubs.
When the team wins, it’s high cotton and everyone is elbowing for room on the bandwagon; but when the team splits the series with the Reds and Woods shoulder implodes, it’s scorched earth time and plaintive proclamations of “It’s OVER!â€Â
Get a grip. There’s still 2+ months to go. Give the Cubs full support or full derision. Don’t play Chicken Little or Ronnie Woo Woo based on the latest winning or losing streak.
Jeff Garlin’s article had some good ideas. Blanco and Hollandsworth for Pujols. I wish that I had thought of that. Switching franchises with the Devil Rays. Why not?
Don’t Worry. When me and my stellar range, speed, and .157 avg. come back, the ship will be righted! I am Horatio motherfuckin’ Hornblower, bitches!
The Cubs need to shut me down now, and send me to totally retool my mechanics, so that hopefully by spring training I can come back and be effective…and comfortable as well. They cannot give up on me as long as I’m under contract, especially because I have no trade value whatsoever.
Jeff Garlin wants to send me and Sammy Sosa to Texas for A-Rod. Who wouldn’t?
I’m still more insightful than Seabiscuit’s Jockey.
My mechanics and repetoire require that my throwing motion is violent, you can’t do any more retooling than you’ve already done.
Lightening up my workload to, say, one 9th inning a pop, then you’re talkin.
Well, something has got to be done, and soon.
I’m with you rubber stamper.
I think Andy is insightful and hilarious, but I don’t think the team is dead. Infact, I think they will win the wild card. That doesn’t mean I think they don’t have lots of problems, but based on the competition and the players yet to be added, and the number of games yet to be played inside a shitty division, it doesn’t seem unrealistic at all, (as bad as they looked yesterday)
One thing cub fans have been criticized for is getting too high when the Cubs win and too low when they loose…I’m just sayin’…..
I’ll just quote Will Carroll for about 200 words without giving any context. Why not? He’s as big of an asshat as I am.
You feel bad now? wait till we get through with you.
Yeah Kerry, that’s what I did,
I’m never going to be healthy enough to be a starter again, so now I’m a closer.
It’s worth considering.
The difference is, I had a great career as a starter too, and have another world series ring to show for my injury.
Anyway, I think you should think about being a closer Krissy, you need to condition your self to come out and hit the ground running though.
You cant do your usual 2-3 inning warm-up.
By the way, I am a preachy conservative douchebag.
You’d be jealous of Andy too if you were as observant as me. What about me? I deserve followers too. I’m just dealt a tough hand as I cannot afford my own website, also, it’d be hard to have to drum up content that didn’t directly point at Andy.
So, in conclusion, think for yourselves and do what I tell you to.
I generally agree with what Andy write–I guess that may make me one of “rubber stamper”‘s targets…I don’t know….or give a shit– but it’s just ludicrous to call the season in July.
The further we get away from yesterday’s debacle, the better I feel.
Rubber Stamper, you still don’t get it. You chide people over your interpretation that there’s a causal relationship between the tone fo the Dose on a given day and the general consensus of people who visit this site.
That interpretation is flawed. Actually, the more accurate term would be “convenient”… since it’s obvious by the tone of every post you make that your purpose for being here is to insult Andy and those who visit this site.
If your agenda weren’t what it obviously is, you’d consider that most of us are awake long before 12 noon [EDT] which is when the Dose usually makes its appearance on a given day. That’s plenty of time for thinking people to formulate their own opinions. You’d consider that perhaps the Dose often expresses opinions similar to the ones we have all been expressing around our homes and offices all morning… and for that matter, ever since the previous day’s game was in progress. You’d consider the possibility that instead of anybody formulating his/her opinion based on what’s in the Dose, the Dose tends to express opinions that we’ve already formulated. Ergo, we largely agree with the content of the Dose, and express that agreement.
But the first opportunity anyone has to express the fact that the content of a Dose is in line with their pre-formulated opinions is…. after the Dose has been posted and read, and when the Leave A Reply form is available. Perhaps you’d have more respect for the people who visit this site if they were capable of expressing agreement with a Dose before said Dose is posted? Perhaps that would demonstrate to you that people aren’t just parroting the tone of a Dose… if we were to, you know, post our replies to it before it itself is posted? Would that work for ya, champ?
If you really believe the rap you try to assert, then you’re a dumbass not to realize that said rap is based on a ridiculous premise. But of course you’re not a dumbass… you fully realize the baselessness of your assertions and the flawed nature of your premise. You just don’t let that stop you from making the assertions anyway, because that would be no fun.
As far as your other rap, what can I tell you? That argument is as old as sport itself. There are always fans whose opinion of the team ebbs and flows with the fortunes of the team. People who get pissed when there’s reason to be pissed, and are pleased with the team’s play when there’s reason to be pleased. How people come to the conclusion that there’s anything wrong with that, I’ll never understand.
And then there are guys like you who look down upon anything less than steadfast BELIEF (!!!!!!!!) that all will be well, regardless of what the facts staring them in the face happen to be at any given time. Lose a couple? Everything will be fine. Lose 10 straight? No problem, everything will be fine. Staring at a 52-97 record? I still BELIEVE!!!!! You guys are great! Go get ’em!
You call us Chicken Little? We call you Pollyanna. You tell us to go root for the Red Sox? We tell you to go root for the Royals, where you can sit there with a smile on your face and a song in your heart EVERY year and root root root for the 52-97 home team, if that’s what it takes to make you feel noble and righteous.
There’s never gonna be a solution, it’s an unwinnable argument. Then again, it’s not about winning is it? You’re already convinced you’ve won. It’s more about asserting superiority, looking down your nose at people and indulging in all-purpose prickery, because it feels so good. Yeah, good for you. Have fun with all that.
Mike,
The further you get away from yesterday’s debacle, the closer you get to tonight’s.
I have officially owned your site
Good point, Andy.
On the plus side, if they do get swept, that might be all “Donuts” Hendry needs to show Dusty the door, and then kick his fat ass through it as hard as he fucking can for having made him look like a monkey for having hired his incompetent ass in the first place.
This one’s for you, NSBB.
I know I come off as having a kool-aid approach, but I dig the venerable Andy Dolan.
I dig the “We’re effing deader than shit!” approach about zero percent, but after all — whither Dolan, whither Desipio?
Andy rocks, haters are obviously all chicken fuckers.
enough said.
You are dead on dude. Your post says it all. Agree with Dolan all the time, or not(which according to Rubber Stamper, we all do) the man has the best Cub ralated sights, and frankly one of the more entertaining sights on the net. Credit should be given where credit is due. If you don’t like it, go to NSBB and pay 50 bucks.
I meant Cub related sight.
Apparently, when I open my web browser, it automatically redirects me to Desipio.
Nothing beats the insightful commentary at Ivy Chat. Hey, I got Korey from Chuck.
I have no idea what the hell this discussion is about, but I must reiterate…that picture is fucking hilarious.
Dolan creams over Kearns. All one must do is head over to something as recent as yesterday’s gamecast to see how everyone “follows his lead”. The fact is, a lot of people here don’t agree with everything he says, but we love the sight and respect, for the most part, what people here have to say.
If the Hawks get me, that would be friggin’ awesome. Just thought I’d throw that out there.
Sadly, Pissed, you don’t get it either. I guess we both don’t get it. Thanks for the rote accounting of Dose postings: very insightful and more than my feeble brain could have ever figured out.
I heartily disagree that my interpretation of the rubber stamping notion of “Yeah, what Andy said…” is off. You seem to have taken the bucket of paint I was using on three fence posts and whitewashed the entire Desipio yard of posters. Clearly, if you felt threatened and impugned, it was likely that the missive hit its mark with you.
And my posts’ purposes aren’t to attack Andy. On the contrary, it’s to attack the ilk who show up with a Me Too! parrotting of the Daily Dose rally cry. If you’d done your homework, you’d have noticed that past posts of mine (the real ones, and not the fakes) give Andy props. I’ve been reading him for almost three years now. I don’t revere him, or wait for his ‘go’ to form my opinion.
It’s not about having an opinion that ebbs and flows with the fortunes of the team, it’s about signing off on someone else’s opinion, only after making sure the coast is clear that you won’t get dogpiled. Obviously, I have no such fears.
There’s nothing wrong with being pissed at that poor play. But, make it you lede and not a rubber stamp. If it’s so insufferable to tune into/attend Cubs games, perhaps you shouldn’t. The faint of heart and weak of mind should have ditched by now instead of merely hopping on and off the bandwagon at a moment’s notice.
The Pollyanna comment is contemptable because I’ve never said things were great and the state of affairs should be ignored. More clouding of the picture to suit your agenda, doubtlessly. And pointing the lot of rubber stampers to the Red Sox Nation is merely hoping they’ll find a home somewhere similar where the prick suit is worn all day long.
The long-winded and ardently reasoned rebuttal by you, Pissed, surely makes sense in your eyes, just as my rantings make sense to me. Rake me all you want; I see it differently from my vantage point. But I guess that’s why a contrarian opinion is like José Macias leading off and playing shortstop: it’s unthinkable.
You’ll never see it that way because for you and the other rubber stampers, following the fold is easiest. Stray no more… Stray no more…
Go the fuck away, your posts are longer and more unintelligible than Baker Basher’s are.
Thank You Rubber Stamper,
OK Pissed, It’s your turn now.
You now have 58,000,000 words to respond.
Thanks for the Shout out Geezus Stamper,
But I beg to differ.
I can be much more convoluded and long winded than that twat.
Hold on there 66., I was promised that job.
Desipio should try and get a Q&A with me.
I must now tell you my true identity… …..I’m ….
THE GENIUS! MUAHAHHAHAHAHA
see you tonight at the ballpark, where my satan’s minions will torch you once again into bolivean
MUAHAHAHAHA
EVen though my points and stances are stupid, if I make a big enough fuss, people will look at me, then I can do hand stands…and stuff. Shit Im good at, you know?
“cosas†finishes with “asâ€Â, so it’s “pequeñas†not “pequeñosâ€Â.
“cosas pequeñas†= little things
Another example:
“niños pequeños†= little boys
“niñas pequeñas†= little girls
Now back to our regular Cubs discussion
i can’t believe how easily some of you all ignore me. are you aware that only two teams (the 1991 and 1993 braves) in the last 80 — yes, since 1974 — came back from a deficit of more than five and a half games at the all-star break to make the playoffs in any fashion at all?
are you further aware that those two teams went 54-19 and 55-28 after the break to come in? do you think seriously the cubs are in any way physically capable of that?
I am from bolivia, and the cubs are going to be some how “torched into me” tonight.
I cant wait.
I’ll eat a light lunch.
Yeah, and weren’t those two Braves teams pre-Wild Card?
The Cubs are cooked, if history tells us anything.
Hey Rubber Stamper, we’re all entitled to our interpretations. I’m glad to see you’re backpeddling off of some of yours already. If you’re a contrarian, and that’s just what does it for ya, then fine. I’ve got no problem with that. Just say so.
But if you’re gonna deny that too, then I’m curious… perhaps you’d like to enlighten us all as to how you distinguish between a “rubber stamp” post, which you seem to abbhor, and a post that agrees with some sentiment contained in the Dose that you’d nonetheless consider legitimate?
For example, let’s assume a given Dose asserts that there is reason to BELIEVE (!!!!!!!) that the Cubs are on the right track. Those do come along on occasion. And that’s a sentiment with which you obviously agree…. evidently all the time, no matter what.
There are two replies to that Dose. One from Rubber Stamper… because if you agree, you’ll say so, right? And one from someone else… doesn’t matter who. That person also agrees… with Dolan and with you.
Now does that second person’s post meet with your approval?
On one hand, it agrees with you. On the other hand, it agrees with Dolan and the Dose. How do you determine whether or not that person is expressing his own opinions, which just happen to agree with Dolan’s and yours, or whether that person is parrotting the Dose. Hell, for that matter, that person could be parrotting you.
So how do you arrive at your inevitable conclusion as to the authenticity of the opinion that person is expressing, so that you can then post a scathing rebuke of that poster (and those of his or her “ilk”) if you conclude that the person’s opinions are not authentic, as is your wont?
If you actually possess that ability, as you claim, please show your work. If you can demonstrate to me that your methods have any legitimate basis whatsoever, then I’ll concede. I’m betting that you can’t. And I’m pretty sure there’s next to zero chance I lose that bet.
In the meantime, I applaud your use of the “You disagree with me, thereby proving my point, because obviously the only reason anyone could possibly feel compelled to rebut my assertions is because those assertions have exposed him and he must deny it.” argument. Entertaining, but specious. Again.
I can read minds…muhuhahahaha….
Sometimes I wish I never came to this site because I disagree with about 75 percent of the things on it. But damn it, I’m hooked. It’s a great place to sporadically piss away a few minutes every work day. And also to laugh.
I’m not saying I’m a Dolan head, cuz I’m not.
I’m just saying I get Dosed alot.
Hey Cub fans,
Nice to see your bullpen was so stellar that you couldn’t afford to have me stink it up.
You may still come to regret cutting me so soon, cuz I’m just getting warmed up.
I’ve made three appearances thus far for Tampa, pitching 2 2/3 innings, giving up one hit, no runs and–get this–ONE walk, walks being the the bane of your current shitty-ass bullpen. Enjoy your last 10 weeks you impatient, ledge-jumping asswipes.
Are we one and the same? Well, we both suck badly…
Putting aside the debate, in the unlikely event that the Cubs sweep the Cards, I’m back drinking the Kool-Aid. And why not? You’re still going to watch the Cubs games (admit it). If there’s a spark of life, why not drink it in?
You could be like some last year who thought the Cubs were dead and needed a trade in April and then claimed presience when they choked in the last week of the season. I guess if smug satisfaction is your cup of tea and you like to be the first to call the team done, that’s fine. Hell, I said the team was D-U-N yesterday, but I’d rather be wrong than waste the next two months.
Fucking Cubs.
80. What sucks about us? Be specific.
I’d be scared if you all agreed with me every day.
As Brian Fantana said (sort of), “Sixty percent of the time, I’m right every time.”
That doesn’t make any sense.
Ummm, the 2003 Cubs were 5.5 behind Houston on july 27th, and if I’m not mistaken, they won the division. Also, the Twins were 7.5 out in 2003 and ended up winning the division by about 7 games.
Pissed: happy to have entertained you. Isn’t that what you and others come here for?
Your backflipping logic seems inhuman and more than grotesque, but I guess when you get your dander up, there’s no backing down, and the bong-addled mind springs down the rabit hole. Your intense interest in this affair is enough to question why you care so much. It’s almost as though without your precious Desipio ration which you seemingly take as life commandments and direction, you’d cease to have purpose. Please, read on, as you’ll surely fill whatever void you have.
What is constantly lost in your argument is the notion that you have an idea of my thoughts and beliefs. To be clear: you do not. You are more than happy to infer, as is the siren call of the put-upon. The passion you have makes you more of a Desipio BELIEVE!!!!!!-erâ„¢ (tee-hee, so funny) than most ever will be. You’ve charged me with being the merry, beer-happy bleacher bum, and you’re wrong again. Doesn’t that get old? I guess not, when the intent is to discredit and attack instead of stick to the issue raise in my first post. Perhaps I have things clouded by being Dusty’s Stepford bitch (a typically uninformed and witless jab).
Regarding your “You have to go forwards in order to go back” attempt at shining light on my supposed confusing logic, it takes merely a stroll through past Doses to find the up-and-down hither-tither of the rubber stampers. To lead you by the hand to each of them would be a waste of my time since you obviously have your eyes shut and your fingers in your ears.
But keep that chin up, fella. You feel you’ve fought the fight on behalf of the rubber stampers here and it makes you feel like a big man. Backpedalling is not going to happen despite your efforts to claim victory. You’ll no doubt find the kernel of bile in this post, and for that, I am happy. Very happy.
It is, as you admit, entertaining.
The 1995 Mariners were 13 games behind the Angels on August 2nd and also made the playoffs.
Mr. Pissed:
Isn’t it about time you reveal yourself as one of Mike D., Chuck, or TJ Brown? They are the only ones capable of stringing together coherent (if disagreeable) thoughts. I’d name CT, as well, but he seems to have the right idea in the debate: that picture is funny.
C’mon… Which is it? Mike? Chuck? TJ? It’s gotta be one of you. You’re freakin’ us out, dude, with the giant vein in your forehead. Chill out, Francis (or Mike/Chuck/TJ). Rubber Stamper is a blowhard, but he makes a few good points.
Now, stop being anonymous: It’s gotta be one of you three.
Our know it all, we can read people’s minds, holier than thou, attention whore attitudes are what’s wrong with us. We can’t disagree without sounded like complete dicks. We want attention, or we wouldn’t post, for the most part, only negative shit. If Dolan was like our buddies at NSBB, he’d block us from the site.
Hey, Rubber, since it’s basically the same 20 guys and gals on here every day, feel free to name names.
Which of us can’t think for themselves, and let the Freeport Flash do it for us?
(Andy, I know yer not from Freeport, just lemme have the alliteration, OK?)
And, in post 87, where he says we want attention, otherwise we wouldn’t post, I guess I haven’t heard it put that way for awhile, but ‘s true.
I don’t think for myself. I cut and paste Mariotti.
Oh wait….
Ah, fuck.
I am bound to ensue when cubs are declared dead on cub-fan websites.
By the way, I want to give a holla out to my buddy Insanity.
Hey Insanity! How’s it going, I heard you are eminent, or was it that you are about to ensue….Don’t keep me hanging too much longer.
What happened to you, Dolan? You used to be cool…
Mr. Pissed:
Isn’t it about time you reveal yourself as one of Mike D., Chuck, or TJ Brown? They are the only ones capable of stringing together coherent (if disagreeable) thoughts. I’d name CT, as well, but he seems to have the right idea in the debate: that picture is funny.
C’mon… Which is it? Mike? Chuck? TJ? It’s gotta be one of you. You’re freakin’ us out, dude, with the giant vein in your forehead. Chill out, Francis (or Mike/Chuck/TJ). Rubber Stamper is a blowhard, but he makes a few good points.
Now, stop being anonymous: It’s gotta be one of you three.
Will I ensue next…is anyone going roadtrippin’?
Sloth – –
Seems I may be banned (shockingly), so I don’t know if your wishes will come true and you get names from me…
But I’d say Mike D. and Dave B. are big offenders of the Rubber Stamp.
Brian has a good take on things.
Chuckles likes to be contrarian just to be a whiny jerk. Kinda like me, I guess.
CT is good times  reasonable and funny.
Andy’s a fun read and his comedy bits are very good.
And your rotting schtick is old and stupid.
Hello Pittsburgh!!! Open up them pocketbooks bitches.
There are gals here? Woah, I’m embarrassed now for the way I’ve behaved. Better stop looking for attention and play all suave and debonair here in the corner.
I freely admit that if I were a real person I’d be one insufferable prick. But as a vehicle for pissing people off in an internet chat room, I’m really not so bad. At least I’m coherent.
I am the new name for that chick that’s on JAG. Without me, that show is unwatchable, unless you are like, 75 years old.
There, that’s better.
Who got banned?
And will Rubber Stamper answer Sloth’s call to naming names?
Stay tuned!
Oh, and the Cubs play tonight btw.
Apex, don’t flatter yourself, you are only occasionally coherent.
Am I dishwasher safe?
OK
i have noticed throughout the internet that if someone is going to post a comment, it is usually because they agree with the article. people who disagree usually say fug off and leave. the only time i see haters is when the original article says something inflamitory and is looking to pick a fight. Desipio has become a community and that is usually a grouping of like minded people so its no wonder we all feel the same way that Dolan does. None of the regulars here are bandwagon jumping BMW prepsters going to Wrigley looking for a hookup, they are lifelong Cub fans who have lived with the ups and downs (mostly downs) this club has brought us our whole lives. Because of this, we are allowed to get excited when the team is surging but we also know when to call the time of death on a team that isn’t gonna make it through the next 67 games.
Fair enough. That puts me well ahead of the curve around here.
Has hit the nail on the head, bitches.
What? No mention of us?
I would like to know how I am contrarian? I’d say my tacks are pretty much the same.
Eternally pessimistic? Guilty.
Don’t forget, my broken self is coming to save the bullpen like Nomar is coming to save the offense!
Relying on guys who haven’t played in months? Sounds like a great plan to me! Hey maybe I WON’T get hurt?
Hooray!
Since joining the Cubs, I have been tearing it up…my groin that is, I’m a shell of my former self, and I hate pressure, please don’t make me out to ne your savior.
I had to wade through no fewer than 2 power outages to get here and wade through all this?
One fella is upset that so many people let Andy take them on this sick emotional roller coaster? I didn’t realize Andy had such a strong hold on everyone’s opinions, but since he does, let me suggest a run for governor. As a Kool-Aid Drinker, I’d be happy to support the campaign, I imagine Karry Ling could manage it, and BC could do media relations.
In less than the time it takes to say “Now pitching for the Cubs: Randy Martz,” Dolan would have 60 percent of the voters in his pocket. And that would be after conceding the bottom half of Illinois.
I just don’t want to start watching football yet. Damn it, I wait six months of cold, lifeless, desolate winter for spring training to start and every March when the first game is televised I hug the television set and thank God I’ve made it through again. I have my ups and my downs all summer but that’s the fun. Call the Cubs dead, sure, their miserable. They may not recover from this but if I say they’re dead I have to… sigh… do something else with my spare time like play golf or basketball or work out or something boring like that. But if this is really the end, there’s nothing for it but to start looking at fantasy football sites and Bears training camp stories… maybe read some articles about the Big Ten. These are things I like to do… when there’s NO BASEBALL.
The Cubs just have to win this weekend. THEY JUST GOTTA!!! Please?
I can’t help it if I think along the same lines as Andy. It’s a big planet, know what I’m sayin’?
On the other hand, I couldn’t disagree more about Sosa (never liked him, and we were considered dopes as a result), I’ve never voted for Bush nor could I justify doing so, and I don’t like “Survivor” or “Ed”.
I also think “The Anchorman” sucked.
And I’ve gone on record here with all of that. When Andy hits one on the nose, I give props. When he’s said something I disagree with, I’ve offered my $0.02, just not as combatitively as Chuck.
But thanks for playing.
Oh, and I’m not seriously giving up the ghost for the ’05 Cubs. That may make me a dope, but it also puts me at odds with the majority here.
We’re not dead just yet, think of us as in the hospital with a bowel obstruction.
Yo Mr. 100, of course Stamper won’t answer the call. Did you detect even a hint of his willingness to accept my challenge to demonstrate how he arrives at his conclusions as to who’s “rubber stamping” and who isn’t amidst all the flowery nothingspeak? Didn’t think so.
Stamper, we’re gonna need a little more than evasive, sidestepping prose over here. All I’ve asked is for you to demonstrate how you know. How you can tell. Seems like you ought to be able to do that with no problem. There’s truckloads of cred in it for ya if you can.
But you can’t.
Come back when you have a legitimate defense for, well, anything you post. Deal? In the meantime, I’ll be over here continuing to own you.
PS: I’d like to go ahead and post my reply to Monday’s Dose…
Dolan, you’re full of shit. Or something.
Mike Tyson made me famous.
Since Andy has such powers of persuasion, can he lead a letter writing campaign to get TBS to begin showing “Ed” reruns again?
I need my daily fix of Carol Vescey and the $10 bets between Mike and Ed.
Remember “The Princess Bride” when the guy wasn’t dead, just “mostly dead?” We’re that.
BIG BALLS ON DESIPIO.
About time I found a site that can have fun
and knows when to air itself out.
intarweb communities mostly blow
Does that make DLee Andre the Giant cuz he’s been carrying them all year
Let’s look at 2006. Damon in center at Wrigley???
Cubbie blue sounds good to Johnny Damon, who wears red as a key member of the Red Sox. The American League’s premier leadoff hitter with a .339 batting average and AL-best runs with 73 can be a free agent after the season and admitted Thursday night before the Red Sox-White Sox game that he would have interest in the Cubs, who are having center-field problems.
— Chicago Sun-Times
I say YESSS!!!! Jesus will save us!!
I’m Aramis because I came back to life – and promptly began kicking ass. (And once was a Pirate)
the cubs will start pounding on the minions with the Big Z at the helm!
Cub baseball, alive or dead, it’s the best!
ENJOY!
By the end of the night, there will be two dead teams in St. Louis. I keel them.
Cast List
E-Ramis Ramirez – WESTLEY AKA Dread Pirate Roberts
Allison Rosato – BUTTERCUP
Carlos Zambrano – INIGO “You killed my father, prepare to die.”
Tony Larussa – PRINCE HUMPERDINCK
Antonio Alfonseca – COUNT RUGEN
Dusty Baker – VIZZINI “In-CUN-SEEV-ible!”
Derrick Lee – FEZZIK
Andy Dolan – THE KID “Is there going to be a lot of kissing in this story?”
Ron Santo – THE GRANDFATHER
Jeromy Burnitz – ALBINO
Nomar Garciaparra – MIRACLE MAX
There. I’m back from the motherfucking dead. I jumped off a ledge two weeks ago, and in the spirit of linear reality, I shouldn’t be able to resurrect myself. Then maybe Rubber Stamp would gnaw on my ass for jumping back on the Bandwagon of the Living, or for Playing Christ, or something.
But if it’s really getting that tired for you, fine, dammit.
Fuckin’ kids…everything’s the microwave generation. Got no fuckin’ time for a continuing bit. No, we don’t got time to build a ‘relationship’, just hook-me-up-now, wham-bam-thanks, mam…lay off of the X, maybe your attention span might grow.
As well as your shrivelled up cock.
Further casting:
Jose Macias – R.O.U.S.
Jim Hendry – The Impressive Clergyman
Lay off the coke, big boy.
Sloth = The Uncouth Sloth
I know I don’t have six fingers like el Pulpo but wouldn’t I make a much better Count Rugen for Carlos to kill? I’m just saying.
Grandfather: I brought you a special present.
Kid: [excitedly] What is it?
Grandfather: Open it up.
Kid: [opening the gift] A book?
Grandfather: That’s right, when I was your age, television was called books; And
this is a special book. It was the book my father used to read to me
when I was sick and I used to read it to your father…and today, I’m
gonna read it to you.
Kid: [less interested] Does it got any sports in it?
Grandfather: Are you kidding? Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants,
monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles.
Kid: It doesn’t sound too bad. I’ll try and stay awake.
Hey 132., you owe me ten grand now.
They disappeared. They must have seen us closing in, which might
account for his panicking into error. Unless I’m wrong, and I’m never
wrong, they are headed straight into the fire swamp.
I do not think it means what you think it means
Inigo: Sir…Sir.
Max: Huh?
Inigo: We’re in a terrible rush.
Max: Don’t rush me sonny. You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles. You
got money?
Inigo: Sixty-five.
Max: Sheesh! I never worked for so little; except once and that was a very
noble cause.
Inigo: This is noble sir. His wife is…crippled…children on the brink of
starvation…
Max: Are you a rotten liar.
Inigo: I need him to help avenge my father, murdered this twenty years.
Max: Your first story was better. Where’s that bellows cramp. He probably owes
you money, huh. Well, I’ll ask him.
Inigo: He’s dead. He can’t talk.
Max: Ooooohhh! Look who knows so much, eh! It just so happens that your
friend here is only mostly dead. There’s a big difference between
mostly dead and all dead. Please open his mouth. [He inserts the
bellows] Now, mostly dead is slightly alive. Now, all dead…well, with
all dead, there’s usually only one thing that you can do.
Inigo: What’s that?
Max: Go through his clothes and look for loose change.
My master plan is coming to fruition, even without my minion Korey who was
caught spying and sabotaging the cubs season, I still have something left
and you’ll see it tonight MUAHAHAHAHA revenge is a plate served cold and carlitos,
you’ll pay tonight. You’ll pay dearly. MUAHAHAHAHA
A lot of assclowns arriving to me now.
Westley: Alright, alright, come help me up. [They help him up] Now I’ll need
a sword eventually.
Inigo: Why? You can’t even lift one.
Westley: True, but that’s hardly common knowledge, is it? Thank you. [Inigo
gives him a sword]. Now, there may be problems once we’re inside.
Inigo: I’ll say. How do I find the Count. Once I do, how do I find you again.
Once I find you again, how do I escape.
Fezzik: Don’t pester him, he’s had a hard day.
Inigo: Right, right….sorry.
Fezzik: Inigo?
Inigo: What?
Fezzik: I hope we win.
Nobody got banned. Because of the spam attacks blogs with comments get sometimes, there are certain words that spammers like to use that have been blocked. If you use one of them the comment goes “into moderation” instead of posts right away so I can weed out the spam.
Also if you have more than one URL in a post, it goes into moderation, too.
Now please, continue the Princess Bride references. Which are funny, but make us seem like a bunch of 14 year old girls. Which, I’m sure the Sloth has no problem with.
Oh, and we may only have a “few” regular posters, but the old Web logs show we get read by a few thousand more people than who post every day.
My soundtrack for the Princess Bride is the tits, by the way. Apparently Len and Bob like me…a lot, no problem there, I am an extremely talented dude. Carry on.
Like me?
yes…go on…act as if I didn’t say anything.
tonight, when you see Macias grab a bat….you’ll know… and you’ll think:
“the genius was right”…. and it will all go downhill again… MUAHAHAHA
Count Rugen: Good heavens…are you still trying to win? You’ve got an over
developed sense of vengeance. It’s going to get you into trouble
someday. [Rugen tries to slash Inigo through the heart, but Inigo blocks
the attack. Rugen olny stabs his arms.]
Inigo: Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You Killed my father. Prepare to die.
[Inigo still stumbles and holds his stomach. The Count and Inigo
exchange attacks.] Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You Killed my
father. Prepare to die. [Inigo gains strength. He fiercely lunges at
Count Rugen. Yelling] Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya! You Killed my
father! Prepare to die!
Count Rugen: [frightened and angry] Stop saying that! [Inigo nips Rugen]
Inigo: [enraged] Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya! You Killed my father!
Prepare to die! [Inigo corners Count Rugen and slashes his cheek] Offer
me money! [He slashes his other cheek]
Count Rugen: All that I have and more. Please…
Inigo: Offer me anything I ask for.
Count Rugen: Anything you want… [Count Rugen tries a quick move on Inigo]
Inigo: [plunging his sword into Rugen’s chest] I want my father back, you son
of a bitch! [Count Rugen falls to the floor, dead.] Inigo runs off to
find Westley.
miss me yet, dudes?
will i play tonight?
My Role will be played by one Dusty F. Baker.
Inconthievable!
Sthop that rhyming now, I mean it.
I couldn’t help myself.
As soon as the Cardinals get about a 5-run lead tonight, which should be about the third inning, and I’ve consumed my sixth beer, I’m going to pop in this DVD and have a good laugh. Or a good cry, one.
http://www.geocities.com/mermaid9_99/pbscript.html#Scene_5
Might we be people who leave the site and come back to post again later? I’m not familiar with how that counter works.
#153, are you me?
Heh.
i should clarify, as it the wont of a set of mathematical abstractions — two of the 80 NL playoff teams have come back from a six games or more deficit at the all star break since 1974. that would be two and one-half percent of the sample.
you can point out the grand mariners of 1995 or the 2003 twins if you like — but i’m willing to wager you just names the 1993 and 1991 braves of the american league.
i ain’t about saying what can’t happen. i’m just about saying what is likely — and unlikely — to happen.
you let me go, you pay
Is it just me, or are there really 27 different conversations going on at once on this site?
Love the picture – it’s now my wallpaper at work…
I have no idea what a home run looks like. I love getting your hopes up, then stepping on them.
That’s because my stupidity is contagious…lucky for you my diabetes isn’t.
“I wear my sunglasses at night”…
The Cubs never get us across home plate.
Big Z just singled in the 5th. He was chatting with Poo-Holes, they were standing side by side. It was funny and at the same time surprising to see that Poo Holes looks like a teenager besides Big Z.
I was surprised because Poo Holes looks like a big guy at the plate.
Then Big Z moved to 2nd and he stood besides Eckstein..who looked like a 10 year old besides Carlos. I tought for a second Epstein was going to turn around and say: “how you doing Uncle Carlos?”
Aramis’ lack of hustle. What a fucking lazy ass.
I’m killing us big time, 2 DPs with RISP to end innings
A whiny couple of dwarfs we are.
8 hits and 1 run…that’s about right.
I am a fucking shit hole.
I was up three times with a runner at third and one out and didn’t get him in any of those times. Do you think after I failed twice that maybe Dusty could have tried a squeeze? Oh, wait, that never works, does it David Fucking Eckstein?
From now on, I guess the players will just have to start coming up with the in-game strategy.
There’s still room on the bandwagon. Todd Walker is clutch, Aramis is not lazy at all, our young pitching is domanating. We are gonna win it all this year for sure. Dusty is our leader and savior…what passion. We are a bunch of no account fucksticks, did you see us all pointing fingers at each other in the dugout after our latest demoralizing loss? Fuck us. We suck.
I think what he meant was that not everybody who actually visits the Web site actually posts.
In fact at most Web sites a very small percentage of the readers take the time to leave a witty rejoinder behind.
My trade value has got to be sky high right now.
a
Hey, I like Princess Bride as much as the next guy.
I also didn’t mean to insinuate that only 20 people require a Daily Dose. If my site got the treadwear that this one does, I might be motivated to write more. But mostly, its the same bunch of assmunchers who come down here to cross swords with one another.
I have learned lo these many years of bulletin board participation that if you use the broad brush to paint with, someone rightly is gonna get Pissed about being called a Rubber Stamp of the Durand Dandy.
My personal beef is, that I could see very early on that we would need extraordinary talent from 1 through 9 to win in spite of the “contribution” we are currently getting from our manager. The mere fact that he EVER thought after last year’s Cincy and Mutts series that LaTroy Hawkins could close games, when it was patently obvious to even the poor brain-dead thing currently giving birth in a suburban care center that Hawkins was a confirmed leg-shitter tells me that Dusty Baker Is STOOOOOPID!!
And, it is also plain to see that Hendry did NOT stock us 1-9 with a foolproof roster.
So, Dumb Manager + Incomplete Roster = No World Series again this year.
I said it in late April, check the archives on my site to verify that, and it is ENTIRELY in my right to remind you all of that fact. Maybe, just maybe, I know more about it than you do, just as it is possible that someone else knows more about it than me.
And if you can’t get your mind around that, well, you shoulda listened better in school instead of trying to smuggle drugs in the dick pouch of yer bikini briefs.
I also think I’m a funny guy. If you agree, fine. If not, lick my crack.
BTW: WTF was Holly bitching to Aramis about after the bunt? When Todd Fucking Holly becomes the Secretary Of Defense, I’ll start dating gay black rhythmic dancers.
I do realize that was a redundacy, BTW.
There was a good deal of finger pointing going on in me after last night’s game…Dustbag just sat and chewed his toothpick.
The world was a better place when you were dead.
I’m soo cooll. I know baseball, because I wear my glasses at night so nobody knows I’m checking out hot Dustbag the Gay Faker!!!
I’m soo cooll. I know baseball, because I wear my glasses at night so nobody knows I’m checking out hot Dustbag the Gay Faker!!!
I like to squeeze you to Tony!!!
I’m a complete moron. During the squeeze play I leave home plate to go for the ball instead of waiting for the pitcher to throw it to me to tag the running player.
I left home plate to go for the ball, who was supposed to be make the tag??????
I’m an idiot or at least I´m “co-dumbass du jour” with Todd Walker
I should have been charging and yelling if Mabry was coming, as well. I have never seen a worse setup to defend against the squeeze in my life, anyone who still thinks we have a chance needs to watch us more closely…if they can tolerate it. We play like the Bears did in their first game against the Yankees. We are always out of position and we look lost all the time out there.
Me and the Sanj are gonna take over this team and turn it into a winner. We know everything.
I was perfecly executed, there was nothing Barrett could have done.
A pitch out, a pick off move, or something of that variety would have changed things, but once that bunt was laid down, there was nothing I could have done. If I wait at home, sergio doesn’t get the ball in time, if I charge it the plate is left open.
Dusty, mang! We played the winning style against you, mang! We used bunts and hits-with-runs and speed, just like those little red birdy guys! How come you learn nuffing about defending against it after all this time, mang?
Winning is fung!
Well Ozzie, dude. I didn’t learn nothin’ cuz I’m a fucking retard, bro.
Boy, I am getting fucking old.
183 – its obvious that you can’t fucking read. Where did I say I knew EVERYTHING?
Jeezus christ, if you’re gonna come here, bring yer eyes, and yer brain.
And 177, feel free to go elsewhere, prick. I’m not going anywhere. I’m sure there’s plenty of places out there where thin-cigarette-smoking weasels talk all day about how WIRED they are.
I’m the last year Sloth saw his own prick.
ooh boy are we stupid. when aramis fell scoring the first run, we said that he fell because of the heat, you know, the heat was unbearable so aramis had to fall.
And you think you got it bad with len,bob,berman,morgan,etc
I’m Laurie Dhue. Up next:
Hannity y COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLMES!!!!!!
(–or, if you prefer–)
Tony SNOnoNOnoNOnoNOnoNOnoNOnoNOnoNOnoNOnoNOnoNOnoNO!!!!1!!!!1!!!uno
Fucking justified text. There’s little to no justification for that.
And for that Homerun, Old Style, I mean, Walgreens, I mean, GEICO, I mean Square D, I mean….
Today I damn near blow up.
:: PS: I’d like to go ahead and post my reply to Monday’s Dose…
:: Dolan, you’re full of shit. Or something.
This, dear Pissed, is what is known as a rubber stamp. Kife your comedy from somewhere else instead of taking Andy’s hackneyed joke and replaying it for the 763rd time.
When the hot snotty tears of shame finally dry, and you realize your precious Andy hard-on will stick around, you’ll calm down. Until then, feel free to work it out on your keyboard.
Even I don’t have an Andy hard-on.