Seabiscuit’s Jockey breaks down Carlos’ moves and check out the sidebar, where it says that the Reds will start lefties Brandon Claussen tonight and Eric Milton on Thursday. Got it? Remember that.
Some Cubs watch the other scores, some don’t. Ooh, that’s informative.
The Jockey says it’s tough to be Matt Murton and learn on the job when you don’t play all the time. He says that Murton won’t get another start until Thursday because the Cubs don’t face another lefty until then. Uhh…what did I tell you to remember?
I’ll tell you what I’ve found less than promising. Murton’s swing since he hit Wrigley. He’s trying to pull everything and hit a homer on every cut. You would think the Cubs’ three-headed-idiot (Sarge-Clines-Dusty) of a hitting coach could figure that out and get him back to the swing he’s used…oh, every other day of his life? For all we know, these jerkoffs are the ones who had him start swinging from the heels. You want to know why the Cubs can’t develop a hitter? Because the only players who can succeed for them are older players who know not to listen to the hitting coach. Great.
Rick Morrissey has written lots of bad columns, but this one, which appeared yesterday is his worst ever. It has no point, it just kind of ends. Maybe he hit “send” before he was done?
Greg Couch rambles as usual, but his two overriding points make sense, a) the Cubs should never be rebuilding during the season because they have the financial resources to improve their club with proven players and b) they shouldn’t be afraid to trade their prospects because of a) they can improve their club with proven players because they can afford it.
This is Jerry Hairston’s problem in a nutshell. He knows diving to first is wrong and stupid but he does it anyway. Kind of like everything he does. By the way, his trade value has to be at it’s highest point right now. I’m just saying.
The Cubs will play the dead ass last Reds and the first place Cardinals this week. It’s nice that Mike Kiley can apparently read the schedule and the standings.
The Farns defended his title by body slamming Runelvys Hernandez yesterday. Somewhere, Paul Wilson was having sympathy pains.
A trade that will send AJ Burnett and Mike Lowell to the Orioles for Jorge Julio, Hayden Penn, Larry Bigbie and ,maybe even our old pal Steve Kline could be done today. I’ll bet this trade rejuvenates Lowell who can play third, first and DH for the O’s.
The Miami Herald’s reporting pretty much the same thing, though they’re holding out hope that the Red Sox will get back in the mix.
Don’t be surprised if you hear rumors this week about a White Sox-Giants deal that could involve Jason Schmidt, Omar Vizquel and a certain outfielder who enjoys pee-ing on his hands.
Our old pudding pal, the septegenarian who got the best of Dusty in the 2003 LCS is on his way back to the home. This could signal an opportunity for the Cubs to get Juan Pierre, also.
Philly Burbs.com is reporting that the Phillies have gone so far as to try to determine which teams Jim Thome would waive his n0-trade to play for, among those mentioned are the Cubs, the White Sox the Cardinals and his old team, the Indians. What would the Cubs or Cardinals do with Thome? Probably nothing, which is exactly what he has left. Nothing.
Laura Vecsey, who is a complete hack, says it’s time to dump Sammy. OK, today she’s not a “complete” hack apparently.
Mark Bellhorn apparently is following the same career path with the Red Sox that he did with the Cubs. Good first season, complete disaster of a second season which finds him dumped off the roster.
Reggie Sanders’ broken leg means the Cardinals will be looking for an outfielder. If they get kEARnS, I may have to stick my head in the oven again. But Tony likes veterans as much as Dusty does, so how about they trade for Harmon Killebrew?
Here’s the token Cubs question from today’s Buster Olney chat on ESPN.com
Matt (Wrigleyville): Buster- do my beloved Cubbes have a legit shot at the NL WC? If so, who do you see Hendry acquring come the deadline?
Buster Olney: (11:41 AM ET ) Matt: Sure, they’ve got a legitimate shot with that pitching, and with the Nationals coming back fast to the pack (and in danger of being overtaken by Atlanta). But I agree with the premise of what you are saying, that they need an offensive jolt. You’ve heard a lot of the same names I’ve heard — Huff, Lawton, etc. If I were the Cubs — and the Mets were to fall back a little in the next two weeks — I’d go and get Cliff Floyd, a good veteran hitter who would fit nicely, as a left-handed bat in the middle of all those right-handers.
He had a few on Thome, but here was the best one.
Lance (ST. Louis): I heard that ST. Louis is on the short list of teams that Thome would be willing to go to. Unless the national league is going to begin using the DH, why would Thome even suggest this improbable move??!!
Buster Olney: (11:59 AM ET ) Lance: The bottom line now is that, as of today, Thome has less than zero trade value. He’s hurt, he’s expensive, and unless he’s hitting homers, he basically is worthless as an asset. Philly’s in a tough spot with him…
America’s finest news source on why a Clarksville, Indiana masturbator is glued to E!
I body slammed Jeremy Affeldt dude, you owe me a Jaeger Bomb now.
“he made like Olin Kreutz”.
To me, that means that Lawton blew by Zambrano, so Carlos dragged him down from behind, and then complained about the holding penalty.
Sorry Kyle. I’ll send some skanks to your room tonight.
I make like Olin Kreutz! I snap ball, then I fall ass over teacup!
I was really hoping for a road report from BC on his way to Cincy. Maybe a description of the chili he had for dinner or an essay on the eastern Indiana scenery?
…or the deer that he and Bo Ryan narrowly missed hitting…
Here we go again, so-and-so dot com, everybody dot com making trades for us. We don’t want to make trades just to make it look like we’re doing something. Making it look like we’re doing something is my job.
That’s an idea for a “buddy road trip” movie. A young college journalist is sent along on a recruiting trip with a college basketball coach for a feature story. Hilarity ensues. It’s part “Planes, Trains and Automobiles”, part “Tommy Boy” and part “Blue Chips.” Judging by the way casting is done in Hollywood these days, Cedric the Entertainer will play Bo Ryan.
“Leading off is about getting on base,” Baker said. “You want your on-base percentage at about .350 or better….”
I didn’t actually say this, right? That’s entirely made up. No way I’d ever say anything like that. Ever. Ever. Ever.
“Jay Gibbons is better than Sosa”
how the mighty have fallen..
“Sosa is hitting .203 (30-108) since May 24”.
These numbers make KPat look like an All-Star…
My fat, useless ass needs to be used for target practice. I am seriously, a pathetic turd.
when the team that narrowly wins the wild card, in either division, wins more playoff games, than the greatest team ever-The Win or Die Trying 2005 White Sox. Oh, and if there is no fantasy land, and they expect greatness like Hood says, that explains why Sox fans hate on Cubs fans and bitch about everything else rather than go to the park.
I am terrible. Absofuckingloutely terrible.
Do Lowell and Pierre HAVE to be a package? Why can’t we get Pierre I Don’t Care? Who has more prospects than we? Who? Can Lowell play second for us? I like Todd real good and all, but I’m willing to bend over backwards for a real leadoff hitting-pain in the ass on the bases.
It’s reel eeezy for me to bend backwards now…don’t even break a sweat. Watch! I’ll do it again! Wheee!
What’s with the Sloth-in-a-landfill postings, and the tired remix of “I’m decaying” poster names? Did I miss something about Sloth finally getting busted with the kiddie porn, kicked out by wife #3, and trolling the streets of Mendota near the old Ben Franklin on the corner?
I’d say I don’t really care, but I guess it’s already too late…
I’m the guy the Cubs should try and acquire, I’d solve your CF and leadoff problems for oh, the next ten years or so. Just like your young players, Lou Piniella is too much of a dope to play me every day, for some reason I’m always in his doghouse. Maybe it’s because I’m not a 12-year veteran.
Trade for me, my friend Austin Kearns, and sign Mr. Brian Giles this coming offseason. You can thank me later.
I got that wiggly feel.
I think Juan ate some mango.
Lowell’s going with me. You want Pierre, you’re on your own.
Ebony and Ivory live together in perfect harmony
Side by side with Felix, we patrol the outfield, gracefully!
Until I run into wall and break neck in a heap
Ivory sharp and pointy not soft like leaf
While driving to the store last night, I heard J Hood making smug comments about how he wasn’t getting any Cub fans calling his show. I wanted to call him and tell him that it’s because nobody listens to his no-talent ass.
You were listening to my no-talent ass, Dave!
From Steve Phillips’ ESPN.com chat, about AJ Burnett:
I like AJ as a kid. We had him with the Mets and traded him for Leiter. He has No. 1 stuff but pitches like a No. 4 starter. He’s 42-44 in his career. If the Red Sox think they are getting a front-end starter, they really are not. Mike Lowell has struggled significantly this year. I’m not sure he would be a great upgrade over what they have. The Red Sox should just play Olerud a little more. Burroughs has struggled to hit for power of any sort and the Padres are so frustrated they are willing to give him up. Arroyo is not a far cy from Burnett. At least in their records. The Marlins are freeing up a lot of payroll in the deal that they could possibly improve themselves this year with some high priced players. The Sox might be looking at this as a solution but the Marlins would still need some bullpen help to make a run in the NL East.
Wait, Steve knows that the Orioles are trading for Burnett, right? No? Oh, well then I’m glad ESPN is moving everybody to their precious Insider thing for $40 a year so you can read out of touch assholes like Steve Phillips.
Rumor is that Sports Guy is headed to insider, too and he’s not happy about it. He’s apparently hoping his book will sell enough copies to make that a viable career for him instead of writing for Page 2 much longer.
Farnworthless is up to being a dumbfuck again. That’s real surprising. Can you believe the Cubs organization put up with this stupid ass for 7 years? That really speaks well for your organization and management team.
If Farns has that much aggression, they should send him over to Iraq where he can try to bodyslam Muhommed al Sheik and the boys. It would be rather interesting how far Kyle can get with those Turbin wearing bastards.
But anyway, the Cubs are up to their old tricks again. Lose eight and win 5 in a row. Just call them the “Teasers.” I have no problem with this team right now after the All-Star break as long as you keep Korey on that traveling bus in AAA. You bring that poor bastard back again to this team and they will start tanking. I’m sorry, but Korey is a Kancer.
I also want to say that Greg Kouch’s article about the Cubs being buyers or sellers was right on. Any big market team in their situation never needs to be sellers. You have that mentality, you obviously don’t want to win. Jim Hendry will pull something off this week if he can. That guy’s cellphone minutes the last month are going over the highest plan, that’s for sure.
We will see somebody new in the Cub pinstripes coming soon to a stadium near you.
Baker Basher
I said: The Marlins are freeing up a lot of payroll in the deal that they could possibly improve themselves this year with some high priced players.
Kind of like how they freed up Derrek Lee’s payroll so they could sign Carlos Delgado the following offseason. You know, like that.
Even Sports Guy, who’s quite full of himself, must know that he’s not worth paying to read.
I’m going pay-per-read.
Pay me and I’ll stay away.
$1 keeps me away for a day. $5 for a week. $20 for the whole month.
ILL TACKLE ALL U ALL WHO DOES HAVE PROBLIM WITH ME
I used to be cool when the patriots and red sox were losers.
Then the patriots won and became the 49 ers, and the red sox won and became
the yankees.
and I didn’t have anything left to complain about.
I used to be really cool before I turned every one of my online columns into a self-congratulatory, 37 megabyte, 10-point Bodoni, single-spaced listing of non sequiturs involving the Red Sox, Patriots, Celtics, Revolution, Aerosmith, the Dropkick Murphys and going to LA.
And then I did that G-D cartoon. Oy.
Is it jumping the shark to say someone jumped the shark?
Get me some more “The Rick” commercials, stat!
Yo B, I does, who you dink you is anyway? 8 mile is mah sound, Detroit is mah city, you betaa bring yo posse bitch.
Can we pay to have Basher not show up too?
You’re welcome for the sweep of the Astros. The Cubs should have a pretty decent shot at 2nd place in the Central now if you outspend Houston down the stretch.
“If Farns has that much aggression, they should send him over to Iraq where he can try to bodyslam Muhommed al Sheik and the boys. It would be rather interesting how far Kyle can get with those Turbin wearing bastards.”
What a piece of shit.
I’m following a theme here, I jumped off of the ledge about 10 days ago, and I’m NOT Christ on a Bike, I can’t rise from the dead. But I can still get on here and moan about shit, a privilege I take advantage of from time to time.
And I don’t have ANY kid porn. I may have some that rides the ragged edge o’ disaster.
Anyhow, Andy, I know you have no love for Scoop, but I think, whether he meant it or not, he summed up “Sox fandom” pretty well. I tend to lean towards “accidental”, myself, but I learned a little today.
I learned that staying the fuck away from the Godforsaken South Side is a good thing. Rot in fucking hell, Janet.
You can’t compare me to E-Ramis because our peripherals were completely different. I only had a good rookie year because my BABIP was sky high. I’m not as good as you think I am.
Sorry, I meant you can’t compare me to Ass-Ramus…….. I like women.
It seems that Austin Kearns is suffering from multiple personalities. In post 37, he gives a well thought out statistical analysis of his anomalous rookie year. The following post is obviously written by someone with a pea sized brain. It seems that two personalities contribute to his inability to maintain a consistent quality of play as well as staying healthy.
Weee heee…I can just float into girls high school locker rooms un noticed.
What’s this I hear about Juan Pierre? It’s not nice to tease me like that…oh…gotta go..boobies!
Look at the birdies…pwetty birdees…they didn’t have birdies like this in twipple-A…..[thud]
the cubs need me against the reds
We are god-awful.
My buddies J-Bug and Hench were trolling the internet for underage Thai hookers and found this site. It’s great! I’m not ready to quit ESPN because where else am I going to paid to write infrequently and with such astounding un-evenness?
I’m batting 5th tonight, my little bitches!
cubs-reds….mmmh….great memories
I am a half baked joke…
hey I power slammed some dude yesterday just to prove that last year wasn’t a fluke.
And also to prove that the cub uniform is not the source of my superpowers.
later dudes, buddies….whatever
I agree that the Cubs should be buyers, and not sellers..especially with the cash in the Trib’s coffers. At the same time, if the Cubs trade away prospects who DO pan out for the other team, I want to hear ONE EFFING WORD about it 1-3 years later!!!! Get it, you morans!!!!?? We never develop anyone….what about Jon Garland? Boo-hoo….my nether regions hurt……waaahh…
You can’t have it both ways, folks. As for me, I’m tired of the Cubs trying to add “one more piece” to get over the hump. I’d like to see the Cubs develop some young players to go with their veteran core, and have a good team for years to come. No more Gaetti’s, Morandini’s, etc…..if you can get a young veteran, fine..a la D-Lee, E-ram..etc…but no more 1 year wonders..please!!
do not want to hear..
I’m really just an average pitcher who is having a very good year. If you cry over me getting traded in 1998 today, you suck. And as for my friend Dontrelle, same thing, that was a trade that helped your Cubs at the time, no one thought he was gonna be the great 1st half pitcher that he has become.
Make room for Jody, bitches!
Jo-dee!
Jo-dee!
Jo-dee!
And just like the redheaded catching namesake, I’ll be sure to fan any time you chant my name.
Boy, I’ll bet you didn’t see this coming.
no, we didn’t see this coming. Why would we?
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