Ozzie Guillen may not have enjoyed Prior’s pitching performance yesterday, but he seemed impressed by it.
Ryan Dempster thinks the Cubs are close to breaking out in a big way. We’ve heard this before.
Ooh, goody, more Steve Stone news. This never gets old.
Time for Joe to break a finger or something.
Mariotti puts down the doughnut to rip Cubs fans for being optimistic. Hey Jay, it’s all we got, jackass.
After all that hand-wringing, the Cubs-Sox season series ended up at 3-3. Whoop de damn doo.
Moron Steve and Dusty.
Ozzie said Jon Garland was better this year, Prior agreed with him, but wasn’t too convincing.
David Huh and this concept are both dumb.
Teddy G. looks at the two dullest “blogs” going.
Seabiscuit’s Jockey looks at Dusty’s blind faith in batting Corey leadoff, and then says something stupid like,
But when the move worksâ€â€as it did on Sunday with Patterson’s go-ahead home run off Jon Garland in the sixth inning of the Cubs’ 2-0 winâ€â€the payoff can be huge.
Huh? Did a solo homer in the sixth inning have anything to do with where Corey was batting?
Dempster’s been nearly flawless as the closer. Love the phrase “nearly flawless” which means nothing.
You take Andrew Bogut number one and you’ll always be the team that didn’t draft Marvin Williams. I’m just saying…
Rick Morrissey’s still pointless, and boring.
After two appearances by Jerome Williams Phil Rogers is worrying that other GMs won’t deal with Jim Hendry. I’m worried that nobody will beat Phil senseless with a sock full of quarters.
The Wizard of Roz says that Wood and Prior are important. Gee, really?
Peter Gammons says that the A’s will trade Mark Kotsay to the Cubs or Yankees (this is disappointing because what Gammons says never comes true–but now you see how Mariotti writes his column, he reads Gammons on Sunday morning and regurgitates), and says Len and Bob are among the best announcers in the game. Then he neuters that statement by adding Michael Kay and Paul O’Neill into the mix. They’re awful.
Bret Boone to the Padres? He’s off the ‘roids and Petco is huge. Yeah, sounds like a great fit.
This pantlode was in the Daily Southtown today:
Piniella to Cubs?
The rumor mill isn’t solely focused on outfielders the Cubs may obtain before the July 31 non-waiver trade deadline. Rumors are circulating about a replacement for Baker  even though Cubs officials have stated publicly and privately that Baker’s job is safe.
Newsday in New York reported in Sunday’s editions that an unidentified source said Lou Piniella, who is unhappy about his situation in Tampa Bay, could end up with the Cubs or back in Seattle.
Baker is in the third year of a four-year, $14 million. Cubs brass might not want to pay off his contract and hire another high-priced skipper.
Ken Rosenthal says that the Cubs have turned down one offer from the Rockies of three prospects for Preston Wilson, and says that the Marlins are looking to trade AJ Burnett. For some reason Ken makes a comment on how Preston is “only” 18 months older than Kotsay, but with more power. Why not just say that Preston is only 18 months older than Kotsay, but worse?
In a separate column Rosenthal talks about Kotsay to the Cubs again. I’m on board with this being an excellent idea. Kotsay can play left or center (or both at the same time) and can lead off or hit down in the order. You wouldn’t give up Corey to get him because a) he’s a free agent after the season and b) the A’s wouldn’t want Corey, so you could mix and match between Kotsay and either Hollandsworth or Patterson or Dubois. Hey, that’s just crazy enough to work.
Todd Walker wants to lead off, but Dusty won’t let him. That’s right, you need guys batting behind Derrek Lee not in front of him where he could drive them in.
JFK Jr apparently nailed Princess Di. Hey, if he had the chance he’d have been a fool not to.
The world’s greatest newspaper with a guy so fat he has his own moon.
Oh…Much Needed Reprieve…well, that makes more sense.
We were only one game over .500 as late as August 3rd. We didn’t turn out too badly, did we? Well, except for that Game 6 and 7 thing.
A co-worker helps coach a youth baseball team with a scout from the Rockies, and he has been assigned to watch the Royals and Cubs farm clubs over the next few weeks. The name he mentioned in conjunction with the Cubs is Todd Helton.
Ronny Cedeno was pretty impressive in Des Moines Saturday night. And little Mike Fontenot singled TWICE off the right field wall.
If it wasn’t already apparent, I got more ass than a toliet seat.
Now, give me some credit for saying that Corey needed to strike out less or he wouldn’t be in the majors for long.
Oh, I also said that my game against Sutter in 1984 was very special.
Social Distortion is kickass, man!
I’ve said I’ll play left field for a contender. Hey, I was a QB at Tennessee, I’m all about athleticism. OK, but no way will I be worse than Jason Dubois. Trade for me, bitches!
Just what do I have to prove in AAA, anyway? You couldn’t bring me up, cut Enrique and get me four starts a week while you rest Neifi or have Neifi play second to give Todd a night off?
Todd Helton has played 15 errorless games in the outfield in his 8 year major league career, including 13 starts in left.
How about
Ronny Cedeno
Sergio Mitre (grounders work in Coors, flyballs do not)
Jason Dubois
David Aardsma
for
Helton?
Call me.
Helton? (Passes out.)
Remaining contract
2005 – $12.6 million
2006 – $16.6 million
2007 – $16.6 million
2008 – $16.6 million
2009 – $16.6 million
2010 – $16.6 million
2011 – $19.1 million
Replace Ronny with the Neifster, bitches, and you’ve got yourself a deal there mister.
We just got rid of one Incredibly Shrinking Human–and still have to pay his shrunken ass–why the hell would we take on another (and pay HIS ridiculous salary)?
Before the game, Korey told me that he’d kiss me full on the lips… with tongue… if I gave him an 0-2 pitch that he could hit out of the park.
Jim:
Off the crack. If you want Helton, fine. But to give up a boatload of prospects AND take on $114.7MM in salary?
How about this:
Send Colorado Bobbie Brownlie and Enrique Wilson for Helton and $57.35 million. The Cubs will pay half his salary and in exchange we’ll give you wretched refuse.
I guess Derrek works for Capone and A-ram works for Ness? And nothing about Jay all over the “K”?
I can rake. The Rockies will pay half my salary. You’re going to have to part with some players. Or if you eat my whole contract you can get me for the 2005 version of Bobby Hill, Matt Bruback and Jose Hernandez. It’s your choice.
It’s not like you don’t have the cash.
I agree on the Helton red-flags. If the Cubs have to pay most or all of that ridiculous contract, then the Rockies get mothing but mid-level prospects in return. He could be considered as insurance at 1B if Lee walks after next season. However, I’m sure there in some intel out there about his juice use if that is indeed the case.
And I don’t want Preston Wilson, either.
I agree, Dave! That guys on the juice!
What, people actually think Todd was ‘roided up because WAYNE HAGIN said so? If the Rox will eat half that deal, I’d trade for Helton in a heartbeat. You probably wouldn’t even need to keep him the entire contract. Say he was owed $8.3 instead of $16.6 in each of those years you could deal him to a team like the Mets who will need a real firstbaseman. It’d be worth an experiment with him in left.
Like the experiment with me in left field?
It’s just Prednisone, not anabolic…I have a RX for it…I’m trying to stimulate my chest hair growth.
Todd, I would take your whole contract. Here’s Luke Haggarty in exchange.
I would love to have Todd for the remaining fourteen games with the Cards! I think he would love to shove it up Wayne’s ass. But the deer hunting isn’t to good in Chicago. Todd might try to steal that deer meat back from Barmes. Hench a broken neck.
Chuck, you could give me to Todd Helton, but I think Dan O’Dowd would rather you gave me to the Rockies ballclub. The only person who would come and play for the Cubs if you gave me to him directly is Jim Edmonds.
Would you rather pay Helton $16 million to play left or Tony Womack $2 million to play left?
Discuss.
Shit, I’m going so well this year I’ll move to center field. There is nothing I can’t do on a baseball field.
I don’t necessarily believe Helton is on the juice, but the numbers being they way they are this season are unfortunately coincidental with the steroid ban/testing. Wayne Hagin is a goof, but I’ve always wondered why Don Baylor has bever faced any scrutiny over that story. To my knowledge, Groove has never come out and denied that he said anything around Hagin, nor did he call it a misunderstanding.
If Derrek Lee got hit in the face with that ball yesterday it would have been his own fault, but if Pods did it it would have been hard nosed baseball!…or not so hard nosed since his nose would have been broken. Derrek Lee’s fault if he got hit in the face?…Yes.
you can’t have that dude walker hitting lead off dude, he’ll clogg the bases and that ain’t good dude
In the seat directly behind me at the Cell yesterday, there was a loud-mouthed Sox fan who sounded like Joe Pesci and looked like Mark Fydrich. During that obnoxious pre-game scoreboard highlight show that takes about a half hour he yelled out, “You can’t do that in Wrigleyville, huh huh huh!!!”
And thank Christ for that. For the first couple of innings he was calling every pitch location as if nobody around could see the fucking game. Yeah we were in the upper deck but we were almost directly on top of the plate. It would have been somewhat understandable if he was telling us what pitch was thrown, but no, it was that South Chicago drawl… “Eeinside, Theeit’s ayoutside!” God it was fucking annoying.
I noticed the Cell has that scoreboard tell the fans it’s time to stand up and cheer and puts one of those gay ass noise meters up. There is nothing that says “smart fan” like somebody yelling during a lull in the action for a graphic on a fucking scoreboard. Who do these assholes think they are?
After the game a lot of Cubs fans in our section stuck around to give the guy some shit. He was all ass-hurt about it too. “We’re goin’ to the playaaffs! Weer you goin?” he yelled.
“Same place,” I shot back. “See ya there.”
He blerted some shit about the Cardinals and I just laughed while the rest of the gang piled on with various taunts and hand gestures.
Good times.
Derrek, you think you go to center field? No me gusta! Need 6’5″ first baseman to snag all my would be errors.
It’s not because Wayne hagen suggested it, but Helton’s powers numbers are cause for some consternation.
6 home runs and it’s late June and he’s playing Colorado? He’s got the 6th highst SLG on his own team.
Not that his .390 OBP wouldn’t be welcome, but not for that price tag. I’ll pass.
Did you guys here my home run call for E-ramis’ grand slam?? It was awesome..I just said it’s 4-0 Cubs..
Fuck Helton. Go get Kotsay. He’s FA at the end of the year so it won’t take much. Send Aardsma. If Billy can sign Kotsay to an extension before the trade, send Mitre and Aardsma.
Don’t forget about me. I sucked too. Not getting a man to 2nd base the whole game was pretty disappointing to the 60% of people in Pro Player that were Cubs Fans.
Pay the money and get Helton, and give up a few prospects for Kotsay. Then we have:
Kotsay CF
Walker 2B
Lee 1B
Helton LF
Ramirez 3B
Burnitz RF
Barrett C
Neifi!! SS
Dare to dream…
I’ve said about a million times that I’m only trading Kotsay if we can’t sign him to an extension.
And I’m not the gay one, that’s Billy Bean (no “e”)
Why the hell am I serving hot dogs & chips today? My agent got me a gig mopping floors at a nursing home in August. I love America!
Never trust a man who has a girl’s name as his middle name.
Oh yea, and never trade for a man with a ridiculous salary who has a 2005 OPS of .743 on the road and a .460 OPS against LHP.
You just got yourself out from under an albatross of a contract, why would you want to tie yourself up in another one when you’ve got much more deserving players that will be needing them soon (Lee, Prior, Zambrano).
Jim Hendry is not a moron. He won’t trade for me unless the Rockies picked up an obscenely large amount of my salary. Besides, the Cubs need someone at the top of the order much more than they need someone in the middle.
Ignore the first me, I fully admit to being gay.
Yeah, I sucked.
So did I
Yeah, a girl’s name anywhere is a very bad thing for a man. It can lead to very painful things.
How bad would you guys rip on me if I sent gray beard and Kelton to Seattle for Randy Winn. We then could option Dubios to AAA and bring Rich Hill back up for our LOGGY. Dubois could return in September. Let the ripping begin.
“You just got yourself out from under an albatross of a contract, why would you want to tie yourself up in another one when you’ve got much more deserving players that will be needing them soon (Lee, Prior, Zambrano).”
Three reasons:
1. .339 career BA.
2. The Tribune has enough money to pay Helton, Lee, Prior, Zambrano ten times over.
3. Helton has twice the baseball acumen of SamMe and a tenth of the ego.
As far as the top of the order, that’s why you get Kotsay also.
Jim, I’d say you’ve been drinking your lunch again.
Sox fans love me
http://www.heavethehawk.com
Charley Steiner just had Tracy Ringolsby (and his annoying fucking cowboy hat, which I could hear) on his XM Radio Show and Tracy is blaming Helton’s offensive woes on his close relationship with Clint Hurdle and Clint’s two-year old daughter being diagnosed in the past few weeks with epilepsy. She was having seizures and they couldn’t figure out what it was.
Tracy claims that Helton had gotten his average up to .335 after a slow start but it has dropped again. Lo and behold, on May 14 Todd went 3-3 to get his average up to .339, it’s now .253. That is near Corey Patterson range.
Whatever the reason (but I seem to remember the Cubs not giving him a thing to swing at in four games at Wrigley), he is clearly not worth his huge salary anymore. If you could get him at half of what he’s owed he’s worth a shot, any more than that and his contract would just be an excuse for the Tribune to not pay guys who deserve it (Lee after 2007, Prior, Jose Macias, Hank White, etc.) You know, the cornerstones.
Beane has said he wants to re-sign Kotsay, but with the A’s so far out of first they need a telescope to find the Angels, he might be willing to trade Mark someplace he’s not likely to re-sign (anywhere without an ocean on the left) with the idea that he can get prospects now and Kotsay later.
Kotsay’s not having a great year in the leadoff spot, but he’s a gold glove outfielder who posted a .366 on base average leading off last year.
Well said, well spoken, Andy.
Here’s another thought for you.
What about Johnny Damon? He’s a free agent after this year, and reportedly wants an asinine 10 year deal, but he would look awful good leading off and playing center in Wrigley.
Johnny Damon is having a NICE CONTRACT YEAR…..let him stay in the American League.
Did you know Hawk Harrelson invented the batting glove? The Cubs had to invent the batting helmet earflap for Ron Santo. Somebody should have gotten the two together for a photo during the big series his weekend.
SUPERFLUOUS BASEBALL EQUIPMENT PIONEERS!
Check out Hawk’s most similar players.
http://www.baseball-reference.com/h/harreke01.shtml
There’s a guy who had weed FedExed to him, a man once traded with Craig Lefferts for Scott Sanderson and there’s Franklin Stubbs.
Stu-h-retch!
Anyone know if manager’s contracts are tradable? Could a Pinella for Baker scenario happen w/o the particulars being involved in the negotiations?
Quick, somebody name my least favorite Alfred Hitchcock movie!
Send me to Boston for that long-haired freak. If you want Damon, you can’t get cute and underwhelm other teams; Theo’d be crazy not to do it. He’ll then put Jay Payton in center and get the pitching he sorely needs. Cubs get a proven centerfielder and leadoff man. Let Damon walk after the season and, after the Cubs are done celebrating their World Series victory, thanks, in no small part, to my postseason-and-other-big-game-meltdown absence, you hope Pie’s ready for the job in 2006.
“VertigO
Billy Bean’s is “Rear Window”
hey, nice shoutout Andy, I still wear number 10 and I live in Alaska, surrounded by a lot of penguins just like me.
I believe that anyone under contract with a Major League Baseball organization can be “re-assigned” to another Major League Baseball organization. Uncle Lou was traded for Randy Winn a couple years ago.
In 1960 the Indians and Tigers traded managers. The Indians got Joe Gordon, the Tigers got Jimmie Dykes.
That’s not to say, however, that either Dusty or Lou doesn’t have it written into their contracts that they cannot be traded without their consent, which, was Chuck’s actual question.
how come there was mention of Ron Cey today and none of me?
this was your golden chance, Dolan.
Yeah, no mention of me either.
I look like I slept in my clothes, haven’t ever been introduced to a comb, and own a Dunkin Donuts, but the fact remains I am committed to stocking the Cubs with good, serviceable players in the face of a restrictive budget and Sosa buyout.
To wit, I’ve brought in the following players:
» Barrett
» Lee
» Ramirez
» Walker
» Burnitz (g’head, laughâ€â€would you rather Sammy? Thought not.)
» Maddux (sometimes he’s throwing B.P., but he’s leading us in Ws)
» Neifi! (don’t laughâ€â€he’s played better than Nomar)
» Rusch
» Dempster
I’ve also 86’ed the following garbage:
» Hawkins
» Hundley
You want to whine about prospects I dumped? Fine, but you can’t make an omlet without breaking a few eggs. (Mmmm, omlet…)
» Garland
» Willis
» Bobby Hill (miss him? Didn’t think so)
» Choi (miss him? Really don’t think so)
Crucify my ramshackle appearance if you want, but I am the best GM in the business today. Don’t argue, just pass the donuts.
Hey Jim, what ramshackle appearance? That is one fine head of hair you got there buddy. Anybody messes with you, they mess with me, remember…”You go, we go” ?
I apparently forgot how to spell my own name. Must be my new aftershave or something.
I have a delivery here for a J. Hendry…
I wore number 11 for the Cubs and I’m senile or frostbitten or both. Leon Bull Durham wore the 10.
I am the best GM in the land, bring me all of your Grinders, and victory you shall have.
Grinders? I am kinda hungry…Oh hold on, UPS is here.
Jim:
The jelly in those donuts must be a hallucinogen. Ed Lynch traded Garland.
Speaking of Burnitz…
It was disappointing that Sammy was dealt so late, and with so much money on the books still, that we had to settle for Burnitz. I think most people felt that results-wise, it’d be a wash, but Burnitz gets the edge simply because he wouldn’t be a gigantenormous pain the arse like Sosa.
As it turns out, this guy’s not too bad. In fact, he’s proven in every way to have been an upgrade. We heard his defense was better than Sammy’s but, until we saw it for ourselves, we weren’t sure. Sure, he dropped a foul ball the other day, but he’s been solid for the most part (one could argue above-average). He plays smart D (makes good decisions), doesn’t balloon-float his throws into the infield, hits the cutoff man and has been much, much better than most of us thought he would be at simply getting to balls without looking like an out-of-control banchee like a certain other rightfielder.
The way he produced that second run yesterday was gold, too, and something Sammy hasn’t done in nearly a decade. I was at a game in ’95 vs. the Cardinals where, in a tie game in the late innings, Sammy stole second and scored the game-winning run on a single. Ever since he became a slugger, however, his contributions on the basepaths became nil. As awesome of an offensive player as he was (greatest four-year period, BY A MILE, for any Cub ever) he grew more and more one-dimensional. When his power dropped along with his patience, he was a nearly useless. Burnitz, on the other hand, while not exceptional in any one area, has been an all-around, solid contributor to this team. Sure he whiffs a lot, but he draws walks, runs the bases, has a good glove and a strong arm.
I know it’s early, and I don’t want to jinx him, but I can’t help it. I need to throw down a little man-love for Beer Nutz!
Actually, Andy, my question was if managerial contracts could be traded. I was unsure if that was or was not possible. I wasn’t actually asking about special clauses. I know that any contract can have special out or prevention of out clauses included.
Figured that out back in myh college days when Faust was ousted and that pipsqueek from Minnesota got his job.
What a great idea it was by me to tell Dusty to start Prior yesterday! That’s a great beginning in my campaign to help retain my job for next season. We get Woody back on Wednesday and this pitching rotation is going to take off because of mine and buddy Dicky Pole’s knack for teaching these kids the fundamentals of pitching.
Even though the team still won’t supply me with my own personal Roscoe Scooter for all my mound trips, I have faith in that long term contract.
Also, Hawk Harrelson, your Sox are gone bitch!
As soon as I submitted my donut-fueled commentary, I knew the Garland comment was wrong. I sat here and puzzled over it, wondering which asshole-y Desipian would be the first to hop up and do a Horshack: “Ohhh! OHHHH! Mr. Kotter, sir, over HERE!” I said to my donut: “Dollars to you, it’ll be Chuckles who busts me on that. He’s the keeper of the Accuracy Dunce Cap and will be happy to show with a tsk-tsk.” Luckily, I don’t have to pay dollars to donuts, as you didn’t disappoint.
According to Barry Rozner, I’m the Best GM not working today.
I wish I WAS a GM, as this Hendry customer is running my ass ragged. Business good at Dunkin’ Donuts, Sanjay not so good.
I got busted on Garland today elsewhere. I had the trade as Garland and Todd Hannukah for Karchner. It was really Todd for Heredia. Lynch was able to negotiate the lower price of Garland for Karchner, straight up.
We were the price for the worldly Felix Heredia.
Ah, Matt Karchner. Them were good times. Almost like the time the donut broad mistakenly tossed in a 13th glazed in the box. I was kinda busy at Creighton… Did Lynch do anything praiseworthy before I showed up?
mmmm…donuts
Jim, you dolt! You were VP of Player Development (aka the guy who was supposed to tell me which prospects sucked, etc.) at the time.
We actually hired Hendry before we had any players… back in 1991.
We’ve had a day of comments without “Sox Fan”? Hmmmm, wonder why?
Which one is Chuck? From this Board of Education photo, I’d be tempted to say the one on the far right (the swarthy looking one), but I’m gonna go with the chucklehead lug in the middle, having a bit too much fun posing for the picture while portraying an air of incredulity at being elected to the board. If it’s him, who knew Chuck sported a mullet (yeah, sure, it’s a faux-mullet cast by his shadow on the wallâ€â€riiiight)?
Funny, he doesn”t LOOK Jewish.
For all those Cub fans that think Korey Patterson isn’t going to be part of the trade on July 31st, consider the following trades Hendry has completed with future prospects:
Hee Seop Choi for Derreck Lee- I think we all know how that one turned out.
+
Bobby Hill and some other waste for Aramis Rameriz- You can pretty much just second my first statement here.
+
Francis Beltran(60 day DL), Brenden Harris(maybe in the Nationals minor league system), and Alex Gonzalez(D-Rays scrub) for Nomar- It’s close to a wash but I’ll give Nomar the edge even without a full groin.
+
Kyle Farnsworth for Roberto Novoa- Looks good after Roberto’s Saturday performance. Besides I don’t think he’s dumb enough to hurt himself by kicking a fan. Farns is up in Detroit rocking it out with some of KISS’s secondhand drugged out slutbags.
+
Latroy Hawkins for Jerome Williams and David Aardsma- We don’t miss Latroy for a minute and Jerome Poi Boy Williams looks pretty damn good so far.
+
I ask this question, are we worse off without these so called future All-Star greats that the Cub organization seem to brag about so much with so little production, or should have Jim Hendry just sat on his ass patiently to wait for them to produce in about 10 years or put it more correctly, NEVER!
Korey, I don’t think a single little bunt, and a lucky homerun(Jon Garland has to feel that such a dumbfuck for giving that up. If you would have read the scouting report Jon, it was such an easy pitch to make.) are going to save your cocky, smug looking, low baseball IQ, wanna be Brian MaCrae, piece of dog shit ass.
See you in another uniform come July 31st.
By the way, that’s me on the left.
I appear to have completely fucked the board format.
We recieved a nice prospect in the Nomar trade….Matt Murton…I give that a win to my side
I’ve met Chuck. That picture is Chuck-less.
The guy standing on the far right is the guy I replaced. The new pic hasn’t been taken yet as the grey haired man sitting down retires on Friday (he’s a HUGE Cubs fan and on the Dump Korey bandwagon) and the woman sitting in white just resigned to move out of state. We selected her replacement last week.
The new pic will be taken sometime after the new board member is seated on 7/14 and teh new superintendent takes over.
I promise to post it once it is available. OK?
Ask and you shall recieve, bitches. So you backed in to a couple of lucky wins. Prior happend to beat a guy that is ten times better than him. Look at the records boys. Telander even wrote a few days ago that now is the time for the Sox to claim the Series…be brash and confident he said…no need when you steamroll every team in your way. Some people think Garland is the next Loaiza…I know, I know…it’s not that any of you are jealous or anything. Even if the rest of the rotation falters, Buerhle, Garland, Garcia, Politte, and Hermanson remain unbeatable in any series. It is now just a matter of not getting too bored, with killing everyone to keep up the intensity for the playoffs. With Ozzie as manager, this should not be hard. And don’t even come back with Garland/Prior stuff, because Prior even said himself that Ozzie was right when he said that Big Jon was better. Typical Cub, scared to step up and defend himself.
Is this “Sox Fan” playing at me tonight?
‘Cause that’s some dope-ass funny shit he writes.
Always like describing 2 games where a team wins where giving up 2 runs in 18 inning (and none in the last 16) as ‘lucky’. By that standard, Prior has the potential to be one of the luckier pitchers in history. And I think Mark defended himself the best way you can… by beating the tar out of the guy his manager was talking crap about. But credit where credit is due… the Sox are cruising, just like they were in 2000.
I can’t remember, how did the playoffs turn out for them that year?
That’s always the South Side excuse, right? Just backed into it. That explains how the cow got on your penis.
Wait. Cows can’t walk backwards, can they?
White Sox haven’t won a home playoff game since me.
In 2000, the Sox were too good. They took it for granted that they would win the series outright. They will not make the same mistake twice. This team is full of grinders, big game performers, and hall of fame talent…just sit back in awe and watch the march to victory boys. “The Sox Come Alive In 05′”. “Win or Die Trying”, ladies.
White Sox have appeared in one World Series since me.
One.
Yeah, just like a bunch of us said that the Cubs backed into the playoffs in 03′. It’s not like they killed us in that turning point of a five game series or anything.
We had Mike Sirotka and the 2005 team doesn’t. We win. Have fun getting swept by the Wild Card.
Hey, Sox Fan: I copywrote “The Cubs will come alive in ’55, ’65, ’75, ’85, ’95… and even ’05.” That is MY territory. Now, go back to the South Side, cook some meth, and leave me alone. I have a second cousin to snub.
“Win or Die Trying” are you suddenly the comcast advertising exec? Oh and I like “the sox come alive in 05” its almost like i’ve heard it before…..Like..ummm..ohh.. whats his name Ernie Banks ? “the Cubs come alive in ’65. 75, 85.95, 2005” silly rabbit, come up with your own white trash slogans. Yea, the 2000 sox were too good. thats why they were able to sustain their success over the next several years. who can forget their incredible dynasty
Moo! Moo!
I love you!
I know you’re a cow, but anything’ll do.
I say, Ooo Eee, can’t you see!
I just gotta make love to you!
I hope the Astros make the playoffs.
Them Cubs got dadgum lucky this weekend at beautiful US Cellular Field. Jon Garland threw up a cookie that the little tar baby centerfielder hit for a ducksnort homer that was the wrong size and wrong shape. Scotty Po and Pauly just needed some balls they just missed to stretch, and we could have put it on the board, YESSSSSSSSSS!
Uh oh.
Hello! I’m the last time the team with the best record won the World Series.
Yeah the 2003 Cubs were a lucky bunch of turds, who excited their baseball illiterate, yuppie fans by losing horribly in the playoffs, and blaming it on 1 of their geeky, know-nothing fans. “Win or Die Trying” is an awesome, ballsy, and intimidating slogan. It’s better than anything that some retarded half brother of Woo Woo Wickers can come up with.
District 30 has some hotties in it, don’t they? Wow.
You mean we didn’t win? Oh boy…that can’t bode well for the Sox, you know, considering we had much more talent than they do.
They’re as hot as me.
Will I ever learn?
Win or Die Trying†is an awesome, ballsy, and intimidating slogan. It’s better than anything that some retarded half brother of Woo Woo Wickers can come up with
Oh it is. Its just that you are expecting that the Sox will try the first part of the phrase, while the rest of us (looking at both history and the teams you are beating in the AL central) are pretty sure it end up being the last part.
WE ARE:
O-VER RA-TED clap clap clap
O-VER RA-TED clap clap clap
O-VER RA-TED clap clap clap
O-VER RA-TED clap clap clap
Home of your white sux, they died trying.
Only one of us came out to chat today because it’s an off day and we don’t know when to speak up without our all-enlightening jumbo-tron. Fuck us.
Off day? You mean, Sox fans have jobs?
We were so intimidated we forgot how to allow hits for days at time. We’re totally screwed up now. We need Dr. Phil or L. Ron Hubbard or somebody to talk us down from the ledge.
Everybody shut the f— up!
Hey, don’t blame the jumbotron on our antics. We can’t read.
The simple fact of the matter is…Everything Sox is better than everything Cubs.
1.) All time great players.
2.) The Fans
3.)The Ballpark
4.) Tradition
5.) The Uniforms
6.) Everything Else
Sorry gang, the White Sox have got you beat on every level. They are always gonna play you tough, no matter what…unlike the the” Lose or Cry Trying” Cubs…and yes I did just come up with that slogan, think I’ll send it to Hawk and DJ’s email account.
The Cubs have three complete game one-hitters this year. Guess how many of those I caught?
Tres!
I’m hardly an example of a team backing into two lucky wins. I’m obviously a classic case of another team getting Dominated.
Yes Sox Fan, of course everything about the Sox is better than the Cubs, including their playoff record this decade. Now what time does the short bus pick you up tomorrow to take you to camp?
Um…I think they same time the gay party bus picks you up and takes you to the Man Hole in Wrigleyville.
And don’t go spreading that rumor that you threw the 1918 World Series just to steal that thunder from us, too! We invented taking cash from Jewish racketeers to lose games!
We are better than everything, like I said before.
1) All-time great players! You have no one as great as Sammy Sosa, Ron Santo, Vance Law or Scotty Fletcher! They were stars for us.
2) The Fans! You only had one fan try and kill Randy Myers. Pathetic!
3) The Ballpark. Ours is a tremendous blend of cement and concrete!
4) Tradition. From urinating on guys in the bullpen to tearing up the turf while blowing up Gloria Gaynor albums on the field!
5) The Uniforms. You have never worn shorts. You are not man enough!
6) Everything else.
Go us!
I am changing the slogan to “Lose and Cry Trying”, that about sums up the Cubs, yes sir.
The Sox have me?
Besides Luis Aparicio and Shoeless Joe I think perhaps not.
Frank Thomas, Minnie Minoso, Paul Konerko, Magglio, Tom Seaver, Robin Ventura, Harold Baines, Pudge Fisk, Tim Raines, Mark Buerhle, Jon Garland, Jack McDowell, Ozzie Guillen, Dick Allen…need I say more ?
Second from the left, seated.
Yeah, you do need to say more because I count two HOFers on that list and they both made their reputations long before they ever put on a Sux uniform. What a freakin’ joke.
Tom Seaver is as much a White Sock as Alan Page is a Bear.
Why you not say me? I am all-time great player, bitches!
Ahem!
Us > them
[Them = All Time Sox “greats” like Paul Konerko and Jon Garland]
Where’s the love for us?
How could you even DISCUSS all-time greats without first mentioning me?
I can’t be serious… can I? Frank Thomas, Minnie Minoso, Paul Konerko, Magglio, Tom Seaver, Robin Ventura, Harold Baines, Pudge Fisk, Tim Raines, Mark Buerhle, Jon Garland, Jack McDowell, Ozzie Guillen, Dick Allen…need I say more ? Some of these don’t exactly fit under the ‘all-time greats’ moniker. Others don’t fit under the ‘White Sox’ moniker.
I am a tool.
Go Les Expos?
I guess “
Hey, Sox Fan:
The White Sox got me for Tom Seaver. Why am I not an all-time great??
Did you mean to post a picture of me, Sox fan? I hope so.
How long should I stick around and get my ass kicked on this page before I get tired and quit?
White Sox? Fuck them.
I’ll get tired when I start getting my ass kicked as bad as the worthless schlubs do.
If that was the case, you would have been gone 3 weeks ago.
“I was out pitched yesterday, I guess the cubs are my daddy”
new slogan for the white sox:
“WE SUX”
The Cubs are not a Chicago team. They are like the Red Sox, they have fans from Iowa, Wisconsin, Indiana, etc…they do not represent the blue collar work ethic and tradition of good honest, smart baseball fans that reside in the Chicago area…that job is taken by the White Sox. When you talk tradition, you talk about, Yankees, Cardinals, White Sox, and maybe the Red Sox, but not the Cubs. The Cubs might as well play in Gary.
When Garland is in the Hall, you can all complain about who it the worst trade you ever made, just like Lou Brock. Nothing good can happen to the flubs. Deal with it.
How about “1st Place” instead. Or maybe, “World Series Bound” ?
Honesty compels me to say that you’re right, Sox Fan. The Red Sox are New England’s team. Who is Boston’s team?
Well, none other than the battling Braves of Atlanta, who you can catch with me and my dad Skip on TBS.
I suck and I don’t have a baseball team so I have to drag the Cubs down with me. Real sorry about that.
If we’re talking proximity, smell and general back alley ambience, the Sox are a hell of a lot closer to me.
I’m from Gary! And Barry Bonds is a racist!
“I was one of the strongest (smelling) players to ever play the game.”
“The simple fact of the matter is…Everything Sox is better than everything Cubs.
1.) All time great players.
Nellie Fox was pretty good. Fifty years ago. Other than him and Aparicio, the cupboard’s pretty bare. Tommy John’s better known as an operation than as a White Sox pitcher.
2.) The Fans
OUR fans don’t do meth. Or jump on the field and riot (because our team doesn’t need cheesy gimmick promotions like Disco Demolition Night). Or jump on the field and mug elderly men. From behind.
3.)The Ballpark
Only if you think crack vials beat ivy 24-7-365. C’mon, one’s known as the Friendly Confines, the other’s known as The Cell (as in Jail Cell). But hey, a night at the Cell makes returning to your home in the projects seem that much brighter.
4.) Tradition
Of throwing World Series? Of cheating your players so they’re willing to throw World Series? Of getting punked in the playoffs?
5.) The Uniforms
’68 road unis were sharp — the ones that said “CHICAGO” in big letters and “White Sox” in little letters you could hardly read. The racing stripe unis with “SOX” on the front sucked. So did the ones with the shorts. And what is a team named “White Sox” doing wearing unis that are red and powder blue, like they used to? For that matter, if their unis were so damn sharp, why’d they keep changing ’em?
6.) Everything Else
Richie Daley’s a Sox fan. It figures. He’ll soon be with all the other Sox fans, in jail.
“Win or die trying”. That sounds like the kind of meth induced fantasy typical of Sox fans. They’re not going to win, and they (sadly) won’t die trying.
Randy Myers and Chad Kreuter melees, anyone? Keep telling yourselves that these didn’t happen. These 2 were way worse than a few small skirmishes. People at Comiskey are too busy watching the game to do shit like that. Did you see them attack White Sox players like you idiots did with Myers? No? Get off of your cell phone and watch the game. Oh yeah, our guys were man enough to take out an opposing coach, who once worked for the cubs which is a plus, and an umpire that had made some bad calls. Inside, Hawk seemed pretty proud of the fact, you could tell, so did I. “Win or Die Trying” extends to the extremely loyal fan base as well.
Winning a flame war is like winning me… even if you do, you’re still retarded.
Well, I’m done bitch slapping you losers around. I’ll come back around playoff time to gloat, well maybe, there’s just not any competition around here. Too easy. Enjoy your slide bitches. “Win or Die Trying”.
I kicked the White Sox out when they knocked down old Comiskey.
You cub fans don’t really care about baseball like us Sox fans. We are the hard core babaseball fans.
We don’t burden ourselves with things like “oral hygene”, “literacy” “clothes made before ’87” or “not eating squirrels.”
We care about dying…I mean winning!
Looze or Cry Trying suckers
Any suck-ass Sosa apologists still crying in their ginger ale that he’s gone?
.239/.310/.414
He left 5 on base last night, got booed by the Baltimore faithful and –SHOCKER–made an error leading to a Yankee run.
Woof.
YOU KILLED ME WITH THAT 1 JIM HNEDRY!!!!
I’LL ALWAY AOTHER YOU , YOU PSYCHO-ASSHOLE JIM HENDRY FOR GETING RID FO MY LOVE!!!!
“REST IN PEACE SAMMY, YOU HAD A GREAT CAREER AND I’LL ALWAYSA LOVE YOU”!!!!
“THE FURUIOS, IRATRE, ENRAGED, LIVD, ANGRY LEGNED, CHARLIE CAHILL”!!!!