The Cubs apparently played last night and Greg Maddux’s quest for another 15 win season is over. But why? If it’s that important to the Cubs, why not just have him pitch every game the rest of the year? I’m sure they’ll win two more games, right? Well, probably not.
Whoopee! The Cubs are about to add on to the most overpriced bleacher seats in the free world. More money for Neifi!
See, we told you Konerko was going to have a baby.
Groucho with an impossibly long tale of Eddy Curry’s contract future. He does point out something I’ve wondered the whole time. The Bulls want Eddy to take a DNA test to possibly determine if he has a life-threatening heart condition. Eddy won’t take the test. Now I agree with Eddy’s decision to tell the Bulls to cram it. But don’t you think Eddy would go have the test taken on his own and not disclose the existence of the test (which is his right)? I mean, wouldn’t you want to know if you had a life-threatening heart condition and want to find out if playing…oh, professional basketball…might exascerbate the situation? Maybe Eddy had it and the results weren’t good? I have a feeling he just won’t take one. That’s a mistake.
The Mayor of Ames thinks a heart test saved his life…and even with a pacemaker he’s expected to get a chance to return to the NBA.
Mark Gonzales paints a pretty picture of the Sox loss in Detroit. Sounds like somebody’s grumpy about being in Detroit.
Phil Rogers takes yet another overly simplistic look at how the Sox might be “better off” if they “win” the Wild Card. Look, it won’t matter if the Sox play the Angels, Yankees or Red Sox in the first round if they don’t start playing better. Teams always pitch better in the playoffs because they can shorten their rotation and bolster their bullpen (unless Dusty Baker is managing your team). The Sox inability to hit against even the awful Tigers’ pitching staff would doom them in the playoffs alone, but add to it that if they go the Wild Card route it means they flopped in Cleveland. The Wild Card teams who have fared well in the playoffs all were playing well when the season ended. If the Sox are the Wild Card, there’s now way they were playing well at the end of the season.
Now I’m worried, because Chris DeLuca wrote a similar thing, and as we all know, he knows squat.
Gene Wojciehowski goes shopping at the Nike Employee store (how much does one of those little Vietnamese “seamstresses” cost, anyway?) and tells us everything but the one thing we were all actually interested in. How much of a discount do they get?
Marty Burns on the Eddy Curry DNA thing. I love the idea that it’s supposed to be so unprecedented for teams to ask for players’ DNA. If they really want it, all they have to do is get a warrant for the bed sheets on any road trip, especially the ones to Atlanta.
The way the Marlins have acted down the stretch, you’d swear Chip Caray was announcing for them. It’s obvious that they miss the calming influence of Len Kasper.
America’s finest news source with the US’s AIDS awareness campaign in Botswana. Just read the headline. Trust me.
Two Desipio shoutouts in two days, bitches.
I lost the game by myself against the Bengals.
Here’s the facts before the game:
1. I have a rookie QB
2. Bengals score a lot of points.
3. Bengals have almost 37 minutes of ball posession
4. Thomas Jones torched detroit for 130+ rushing yards
5. It’s raining
What I needed to do:
Run the ball…take pressure off the QB, rest your defense, control the clock,
and don’t give Palmer time.
What I did:
Exactly the total opposite….Established a pass oriented game plan……put pressure on the rookie to win it in the rain by himself, couldn’t control the clock, gave them a lot of chances.
Oh, so that’s why only the Bears were seemingly interested in my services as head coach.
With Cadillac firing Brian Urlacher for being such a brazen slut, plus the bye week, he’s unabated to knock up at least 3 or 4 dames before taking the field again.
There was speculation on the radio this morning, that my Lord of the Dance endzone deal was a jab at Urlacher. You know, cuz he knocked up that chick that sued Michael Flatley. Am I this dedicated to a gag? I mean, look at me, I have gold teef. Anyway, this was on the same show that compared this year’s skins defense to the all-time greats, and said the skins could be a “contender” so whatever. Even people that cover skins football are delusional.
Last year I was a hero, won 7 games in a row and gained a lot of confidence as a
rookie QB….and the only thing I had to do was give it to Staley and Bettis.
Know that confidence allows me to d a lot more stuff…like complete passes.
Did anyone see me on Adam Corolla’s show the other night? That was a bit right?
Didn’t seem like a bit to me. If a guy will launch a bottle rocket from his rectum, a little drunken mayhem in a TV studio seems within the realm of possibility.
Ohhhhh Boy, Is This Great?!?
Scott Reifert taught my t-ball class when I was 5. I’m actually dead serious about this one. It was a surprise seeing his name in today’s dose.
I went to Grad School at WIU with Reifert. Kind of a loner, not much personality.
Then he’s perfect for the Sox.
Back off, he’s my quarterback in Fantasy footbal, he’s gotta be good
If his head hit the ground head first, would all the shit in his head shoot out his ears?