Doctors say they’ll need six more weeks of study to figure out what’s wrong with Eddy Curry’s heart. They also say he’s going to be fine and that his career is not in jeopardy. That’s comforting. It’d be more comforting if it didn’t start with “we need six more weeks…”
The doctors say everything’s great so far!
The good news is that Eddy will be much cheaper in the offseason. Great?
Groucho says that the Bulls can still win in the playoffs. He just thinks they need to change their starting lineup. Hey, Gordon and Chandler already play starters’ minutes. Why mess with it?
Skip Myslenski says outgoing DePaul head coach Dave Leitao is making a big mistake going to Virginia. Huh? Does Skip know that by leaving Dave doesn’t have to coach at DePaul anymore?
Leitao is, indeed leaving.
A dozen potential DePaul coaches. Rick Majerus? He’s more likely to have a grabber on the court than Eddy. Digger? Oh, please. Just hire Brian Gregory and get it over with.
The Cubs are just loaded with second base talent. Or something. I say ride Neifi until he stops hitting. Which should be Saturday at the latest.
Professor Dusty? Oh, dude…
Torin Francis and Dennis Lattimore are heading for the draft. What, the CBA draft?
Phil Rogers was in DC for the Nationals opener. Can he stay there?
Mariotti puts down the doughnut to applaud the Bulls for doing the right thing with Eddy. What was their choice? Play him and hope he doesn’t die on the court? They haven’t had a stiff that big since Granville Waiters.
Mike Kiley muses that Mike Wuertz could be the new Cubs closer. Wow, has it come to that?
The Wizard of Roz says Eddy’s got too much living to do to risk him. I love how we’re supposed to think the Bulls are doing the noble thing here. When the doctor says, “If he plays, he might die,” can you really use him?
Scroll down and check out the News In Brief on the “Longtime owner of the Popemobile.”
And yes, every time I saw the name Steve Henson I thought of the fat, bald K-State guard, too.
Beginning of the List of MLB Players I don’t want beef with:
1) Milton Bradley
2) Z
3) The Iron Shef
….
et cetera, et cetera
Love the Lawnmower’s quote. He rules.
My boss told me that he was watching ESPN last night. I guess they made a reference to soon-to-be-leaving-for-Virginia Dave Leitao and pointed out how Leitao took Depaul to the NCAA for the first time since the Joey Meyer era.
Nice. Looks like the website isn’t the only ESPN entity with sloppy, brain-dead editing. You’d think in this day and age with instant access to information that journalsim would be less sloppy, not more.
Take a look at the hat Digger is wearing in the photo on the front page of today’s Trib sports section. Is he trying to be a member of the Backstreet Boys?
Maybe Nomar needs the same calendar you gave Derrek Andy…
Just four months in it… May, June, July, and August…
“Journalsim” Mike??? That sounds like what I do, simulated journalism. Not real journalism, because that would require actual writing talent. Something I don’t have much of. Self-deprication can be so fun!!!
(Now whimpering back to bed…)
I agree about playing me til I stop hitting. When I go on bizarre, inexplicable tears, like when I subbed for Garciaparra last year, you have to take advantage. And Jerry can pipe his ass down, because my streak will be most likely be over by next week anyway.
With all of the typos that I commit, I’m thinking that I’d be perfectly qualified to work for ESPN
What are you taking about, baby!! My columns are universally awesome! Mike Wilkerson and Orlando Tucker were PTPers this season!
Dick, you’ve got onions!
BC criticizes Mike D. for what is clearly a typo, but then later goes on to spell “self-deprecation” incorrectly. Wonderful.
Anybody see this chunk from the article on the Cubs 2nd base talent?
***
Both are sound defensive players, although Perez is primarily a shortstop, and both are slyly cocky, as most flyweights tend to be.
Perez walked up to two reporters in the clubhouse Tuesday and said, “You know why I’m playing?”
Perez then flexed his muscles like Popeye and walked away without saying a word.
***
I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at the thought of Neifi doing something like that.
Look for me tonight
Marriotti put down his donut long enough to reply to my criticism of his fact checking the other day…now he has taken me off of his e-mail receipt list. Fucking sensitive little fat girl. Check out his responses until he felt threatened and then quit…I began this quaint little convo like this…
“Get your facts straight….Neifi Perez never played for Dusty in San Fran…Take some time one of these days and actualy put some thought into your work…you’re fading fast…maybe you and Rick Teabagger Telander can get a radio show together on ESPN where absolutely no one will ever have to listen to a thing you say again.” to which the astute Jay Bag wrote “You actually wrote this sentence: “Your fading fast.”
Take some grammar lessons, loser.” – Interesting but I was expecting something harsher….so I responded…”Just corresponding in a manner that you would be able to understand……was pretty effective. Nice to see you are the dumb ass most of America thinks you are.” Then Jay really got deep on me….”Three words: Get a life”….WOW! very witty Jay….So I brought the whole dumpy little conversation to a head…”yawn, just like your writing…boring.”….At this point I think Jay starts to think I am stalking him ….so he follows with this nugget….”If I’m so boring, why do you keep wasting my time writing e-mails?
You seem like a loon. I’ll be blocking you out of e-mail.”….So I had to at least put in a plug for Desipio….the whole weird exchange ended with this …oh and Jay not accepting any e-mails from me any longer….”Why do you keep reading them? Go to https://www.desipio.com you might learn a few things about Chicago sports”….Oh well I always have a yahoo account, hotmail , aol, and numnerous others…I can continue to harrass this dumbass for a loooong time.
…I haven’t been around in a while, but I’m still an assclown…
My brother e-mailed Telander and asked him why somebody as boring as him gets to have a radio show and Telander e-mailed Jim back and said “Fine, I guess I’ll quit.”
We’re still waiting for him to quit.
Another 15 days, and he’ll have to move his dry, tired butt over for ‘donn mockneeeil’. Then I’ll have to figure out which frequency the Score is on again. Pfffttt!
I actually wasn’t getting on Mike’s case for his misspelling… I tried to turn it into humor against myself, and then I get criticized for misspelling self-depreciation, which the person that corrected me ALSO misspelled (There is an I before the A, which I just found out by looking the word up, which I should have done in the first place so this cycle of errors would never have begun in the first place).
So, it’s essentially all my fault. Again.
If, and that´s a big IF, the Cubs sweep Pissburgh, they would
go to 7-5 on the season, that would put them at .583 and on pace
for a 94 win season…which at least would give them the wildcard
And, yes, I intentionally put “in the first place” twice in the next to last sentence to accentuate my point.
At least you didn’ spell it sef deffecation…although on any given Saturday night….
self…but not as in Bill Self.
BC,
DeprecIation s what happens to things that lose value, like equipment that is a year older is not worth as much as it was last year. Your car depreciates in value; your home appreciates.
Self-deprecation is the word you wanted to use.
Self-depreciation? No, BC, you still have to pay that $86 today.
Hey, you guys don’t might if I steal jokes and puns from the Gamecasts, do ya?
I’m retarded, and my editor isn’t around. Sorry, that should be MIND not might.
Are we really so thrilled to have that diatribe posted by the orange mouthpiece represent us as a whole?
Andy, what’s in it for defamation? Chuck is on line one.
My writing just went from bad to Wuertz.
According to Webster’s:
The first and fully accepted meaning of deprecate is “to express disapproval of.†But the word has steadily encroached on the meaning of depreciate. It is now used, almost to the exclusion of depreciate, in the sense “to belittle or mildly disparage,†as in He deprecated his own contribution. In an earlier survey, this newer sense was approved by a majority of the Usage Panel.
Technically, BC’s interpretation is also correct — though as usual, not in the majority.
I just love that Mariotti responds to an angry e-mail, NOT with a well-placed bon mot worthy of the Knights of the Round Table or Churchill (not that he’s even REMOTELY capable of that), but with a tired, cliched syntax nit-picking, followed by the highbrow use of the word “loser”. And then he CONTNUES to allow himself to get tangled up with the orange ‘piece in a pissing contest worthy of a third-grade mudfight.
Hilarious. Why even respond at all?
BTW, I think B.C.’s word of choice is “self-DEFECATING” as in “B.C. shit all over himself with his explanations.”
If my panties got into such a twist because of one (and not even that harsh) email, I definitely don’t get nearly as much hate mail as I should.
Jay, the smartest thing I ever heard you say went like this:
“…I believe that when I have to crap in public, I go to the cripple stools. First of all, nobody uses them, so they’re cleaner. And, there’s lots of room, so you can spread yer legs out. And they have them rails on the sides, for power squeezin’s…yep, I believe cripple stools are the Cadillac of poopin’ stools…”
I was really impressed with your intellect and logical deduction when you said that….
….what? It wasn’t you? It was Larry the Cable Guy?
Forget it.
This is the same Doughnut Boy who thinks The Evil Stoney is a hilarious moniker.
Evil Stoney? HAHA!
Evil Stoney!
Hahahahah
–clapping his hands like a retard and crinkling his face–
Buster, did you just poke yourself in the eye with your claw?
Buster, please tell me that Sunday night’s show will not be the last one ever.
Do any of you have 100 wins on Around the Horn? No? That’s what I thought, you jerks couldn’t handle being on “the show of competitve banter”.
“The ballmall formerly known as Comiskey”…HA!
“The Rev. Johnnie B. Baker”…HA!
I’m priceless.
2 run jack biatches! Maybe Dusty will be forced to play me now…then again maybe not.
Dude, I am so smart for playing Jason Dubois.
Why do both Neifi and Jerry get to play? What about me? I feel so left out :(
About being in first place in the NL east:”we’re going to be there all year if we stay healthy”. Hmmm…you said you were from Kentucky, Brad?
I have a no-hitter going through 5 innings. The Hall of Fame called, they want me enshrined right away.
Sense this team is beginning to resemble, albeit early on, the 02′ team…I have decided to take the role of Fred McGriff.
Another blown game by the Cubs, what a surprise? Once again Dusty is making the most ignorant moves to lose games. Had to go with the numbers again Dumby Dusty and have Mike(Washed Up and Ragarm) Remlinger blow one. It won’t be Mike’s last blown game because he’s this year’s Farnsworthless out of the pen except he is lefthanded and an old fuck, but a stupid fuck like Farnworthless.
Then you have Nomar and Barrett both not hitting a lick. You put Macias in and once again he doesn’t hit. It’s unbelievable Dusty is shocked that we lost.
I guess tonight’s game we won’t be seeing Dubois or Perez. Roll out Hollandsworth(who’s been sucking of late) and Macias(who just plain sucks all the time) with them going hitless. But we have to worrry about the matchups first, then lose the game.
I’m telling you folks, that rope around Dusty’s neck continues to get tighter everyday. Hell if Jim Hendry had any balls at all, he would fire this ass clown during the year. Then maybe this team would wake up and start playing. I’d even look into hiring Larry Bowa or some type of drill sergeant to kick these guys’ asses around and make them start playing some ball. Instead you have Dusty massaging the players’ dicks and egos with holy water. God needs to bless the fans once and get rid of this evil doer.
Baker Baker
who cares we lost?…I WENT YARD!! can you believe it??
You’re a moran.
Neifi is such a braggart.
Hi, Mom!
We like to gush about the white sox! Buehrle and Konerko are the best! All the sox are!
Bitches! Those fucking foul poles! I almost had two homers in as many days!
I am a defensive replacement? But, I’m a gremlin! I screw things up.
I shall call him (Jose Macias)… Mini-Me
Remlinger’s no dumbass, Basher. He did attend me, after all. I know it’s no Louisville (the Harvard for those who have 3 teeth and no shoes), but it’s not a shabby school either.
Has anyone ever seen self-proclaimed “Baker Basher” and Moronotti at the same place, at the same time? Hmmmm?
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