It seems like the release date everyone's (well, most of society, questionable or not) been talking about just crept up on us. Who else is gonna be Vader'ing-out next week? I haven't read a lick of spoilers, and recently had to reprimand some ass who spoiled a line from a commercial. When I see this film, I wanna know 0% about it, aside from what Episode II portends it to be, and from what Episode IV reflects it to be.
Of course I realize that creating a thread about it on a message board invites that spoiler sort of thing, but I figure I can ditch'n'roll outta the thread if it comes to that.
That said, I am going to place **** 1/4 expectations on it. The highest expectations I've placed on George Lucas in a Star Wars film (although I wasn't around 'til Jedi was out). Ever!
I had two VHS copies of the original trilogy at some points, but never got the dvds, or the first two Episodes. I will probably secure those five this weekend leading up to the filim, so I can lay some standards down proper, get a refresher on the SW vibe, get hyped for the theater, and reaffirm/adjust my current stances on the previous films. They range from *** 1/2 to the hallowed Gold Five Star. Yep, five of 'em, and they're gold too! Not many films have achieved that mark.
That being because I've not viewed a good number of movies.
Quote from: SD on May 12, 2005, 02:42:25 PM
That said, I am going to place **** 1/4 expectations on it.
Prepare to be disappointed.
Quote from: SD on May 12, 2005, 02:42:25 PM
I will probably secure those five this weekend leading up to the filim, so I can lay some standards down proper, get a refresher on the SW vibe, get hyped for the theater, and reaffirm/adjust my current stances on the previous films.
Here's your summary:
Ep I: Kill the kid and put us out of our missery
Ep II: Nice battle. Was there a plot and any acting worth talking about?
Ep IV: One of the most wonderful movies ever made.
Ep V: Thank god Leigh Brackett wrote it and not Lucas.
Ep: VI: Ewoks suck. Couldn't they have been Wookies?
Here's your spoiler ... Anakin is Vader!!!!
Quote from: MrSpeed on May 12, 2005, 03:09:12 PM
Here's your spoiler ... Anakin is Vader!!!!
SPOILER: Bobby's still alive, Pam dreamt the whole thing.
Quote from: CT on May 12, 2005, 03:12:27 PM
Quote from: MrSpeed on May 12, 2005, 03:09:12 PM
Here's your spoiler ... Anakin is Vader!!!!
SPOILER: Bobby's still alive, Pam dreamt the whole thing.
SPOILER ALERT: The chick's got a dick!
When Samuel Jackson dies, you can see the words "BAD MOTHERFUCKER" on his lightsaber.
Quote from: Chuck on May 12, 2005, 03:01:20 PM
Here's your summary:
Ep I: Kill the kid and put us out of our missery
Ep II: Nice battle. Was there a plot and any acting worth talking about?
Ep IV: One of the most wonderful movies ever made.
Ep V: Thank god Leigh Brackett wrote it and not Lucas.
Ep: VI: Ewoks suck. Couldn't they have been Wookies?
For sake of reference -- my current star rating (0-5 in increments of 0.25) stances on the five. Subject to ratcheting/tinkering upon reacquiring the films.
Ep I:Â ***1/4
Ep II: ****
Ep IV: **** 3/4
Ep V: *****
Ep VI: *****
Natalie Portman does a pole dance on Obi-Wan's light sabre. The results are ... umm ... not good.
And to be serious, I probably will check out this flick within the first week. It definately won't be the first couple days. I've also heard really good things about it.
Ep I:Â *
Ep II: * 1/2
Ep IV: ****
Ep V: ****
Ep VI: ** 1/2
No movie with Ewoks can be better than the first Star Wars.
I love that in the new DVDs they have a clip of some new star wars game (Battlefront, I think). They show an Ewok taking a laser shot between the eyes.
Even the people making this stuff know Ewoks suck.
To clarify, a major reason why I have always held Return of the Jedi in higher regard is because the sequence with Luke repeatedly smashing his lightsaber violently into Vader's defensive stance, with Vader's guard finally breaking down, resulting in his hand being severed again, is my absolute most favorite scene in any movie ever filmed.
Quote from: Chuck on May 12, 2005, 03:47:29 PM
I love that in the new DVDs they have a clip of some new star wars game (Battlefront, I think). They show an Ewok taking a laser shot between the eyes.
I wonder how many units of this game EA moved by including that clip in their trailers/commercials for promoting the game? I contend a majority of copies sold were on the premise of being able to ace an Ewok.
QuoteThat said, I am going to place **** 1/4 expectations on it. The highest expectations I've placed on George Lucas in a Star Wars film (although I wasn't around 'til Jedi was out).
Thanks for making me feel very very old.
Its a wierd thing, I wasnt quite old enough to go to the first Star Wars, now I probably wont be able to go to this one because I cannot find a sitter for my newborn. Yikes.
Quote from: thehawk on May 13, 2005, 10:45:12 AM
Thanks for making me feel very very old.
Its a wierd thing, I wasnt quite old enough to go to the first Star Wars, now I probably wont be able to go to this one because I cannot find a sitter for my newborn. Yikes.
Hey congrats Hawk! You getting any sleep yet?
Yeah, I'm sleeping like a baby...
....I wake up every 3 hours screaming my head off
Seriously Max (who was born 3 weeks ago yesterday) has been ok, except for last night... but work seems a little less of a chore (even if there isnt a Dose to read every day)
Quote from: SD on May 12, 2005, 02:42:25 PM
It seems like the release date everyone's (well, most of society, questionable or not) Â been talking about just crept up on us. Â Who else is gonna be Vader'ing-out next week?
Well, for one, Vader himself is Vader'ing out . . .
http://darthside.blogspot.com/
These movies have always been on the cutting edge of special effects, but there is tons of cheese in them. I enjoy the series as much as many 30-somethings, but there is much to wince at throughout the released 5 movies:
> Anakin's pathetic pick-up line: "I don't like sand. It's rough. Not like your skin."
> Luke's pouty whining to his Uncle Owen: "But I was going into Toshi Station to pick up some power converters!"
> Jar-Jar Binks' ebonics. All of them, Okey-day?
> The wooden dummy that is Jake Lloyd in Episode I.
> Luke's wailing: "Nooooooooo! Noooo!"
Lucas is an amazing visual director. Too bad he can't direct actual people and give them compelling dialog.
The Darthside blog is brilliant stuff. Found it via Vodka pundit. How'd you find it?
Check this stuff. Sounds Karry Lingish.
Ozzel just isn't the creative type.
The problem is solved now, however. I crushed his trachea with my mind, and promoted Piett to command the fleet. I have transmitted to following note to Ozzel's kin:
Dear House of Ozzel,
I regret to inform you that your son has been killed in the line of duty.
He was an incompetent, yammering boob and he will be missed by none. I have allowed the men to pillage his personal belongings, which is why we have enclosed nothing but the sole remaining item: a torn advertisements page from a magazine of midget pornography. May it shock and disturb you, and may you think of it always when you remember your dearly departed son, the ninny.
Know also that his limitations as a sub-par military professional caused the deaths of many of the Emperor's loyal soldiers, whose funeral expenses will appear on your next tax assessment.
Sincerely,
D. Vader
Too harsh? I call them as I see them.
Quote from: Chuck on May 13, 2005, 02:25:52 PM
The Darthside blog is brilliant stuff. Found it via Vodka pundit. How'd you find it?
A regular blog I read linked to it almost a month ago. I've been hooked ever since. It's some of the best parody around with outstanding writing, an intricate knowledge of the original SW trilogy, and some hilarious musings.
I just got back from the midnight show. The best part of the movie was the end when I ran out of the theater to go pee.
Although the movie itself was pretty awesome. The whole "third best Star Wars movie ever" isn't too far off.
Quote from: BleedingCubbieBlue on May 19, 2005, 03:25:14 AM
The whole "third best Star Wars movie ever" isn't too far off.
Ranked:
V
IV
III
VI
II
I
It's only fair that we remember Triumph at a time like this ...
http://gamefiles.blueyonder.co.uk/blueyondergames/trailers/ROFL.STARWARS.NERDS.wmv
Quote from: Chuck on May 19, 2005, 09:20:03 AM
Quote from: BleedingCubbieBlue on May 19, 2005, 03:25:14 AM
The whole "third best Star Wars movie ever" isn't too far off.
Ranked:
V
IV
III
VI
II
I
Who you kiddin', Chuck? You didn't see it last night.
It was decent, but the Amadala/Anakin scenes are bad. Also, in certain key situations, a character did something which didn't make sense other than not to fuck up 4, 5 and 6.
I saw it this AM. It was better than Jedi.
Jedi assassinations beats Ewoks every time.
Oh, and no burping helped.
I watched Jedi again on Monday night and I skipped through any chapter with an Ewok in it until the very end, because I turned the commentary on to find out why the hell Lucas added Hayden Christensen as Anakin to the scene at the very end where Luke sees Yoda, Ben and his pappy.
Without the Ewoks, Jedi is tree-mendous. With them, it's, well, a lot less tree-mendous.
Yes, yes, the dialogue in the movie sucked. Hayden Christiansen and Natalie Portman have no on screen chemistry, they were both given horrible scripts, and George Lucas can't write dialogue worth a damn. However, it was an audially and visually beautiful movie, it was easily the best out of the latest three installments and it does give Return of the Jedi a run for its money.
And with regards to Return of the Jedi, we know that Ewoks are bad, but the movie did give us (http://www.wiu.edu/users/mudjs1/leiatemptress.jpg)
Saw Ep. III last night and really liked it. It's not as good as Empire or the original, but I think it's better than Jedi and is easily the coolest looking movie ever made. It's just unbelievable how much better the technology is over even Ep. II or the Lord of the Rings movies.
What I find amazing is that the actor who gives the best performance is Yoda. He's great. OK, that's not fair because Ian McDiarmid is excellent in this and they finally gave Ewan McGregor some actually intelligible dialog for once. Nothing like wasting him for two movies.
Hayden Christiansen is horrendous. If this was Star Wars: Project Greenlight, they'd have gotten a note from the studio to get him in the Darth Vader costume as soon as possible. Maybe have him wear the helmet the whole movie and have James Earl Jones do his dialog for him.
Natalie Portman looked great, even if she's preggers the whole time, there's only one scene where she is wearing ludicrous hair accessories...that leather football helmet thing...and the first time we see her, well she's got the Princess Leia hair going, which I'm sure caused thousands of 40 year old virgins to get under thier own Jedi robes during the midnight showings Wednesday.Â
Great movie, I might even go see it again before it comes out on DVD just to look at the damn thing, because you know there's all kinds of stuff you missed the first time. I just wish that Phantom Menace had never happened, that the prequel trilogy started with Attack of the Clones and that Lucas could have made two full-length movies out of this one. Oh, well. Nobody can ever force us to watch Phantom Menace again. Except maybe Liam Neeson.
Quote from: Andy on May 20, 2005, 08:38:07 AM
What I find amazing is that the actor who gives the best performance is Yoda.
Quite correct.
Quote
Great movie, I might even go see it again before it comes out on DVD just to look at the damn thing, because you know there's all kinds of stuff you missed the first time.
Yeah. Like the reason the Wookies were even in this movie. Why they killed Grevious so early -- and never had him really face Anakin given their parallels. And how Anakin really became bad.
Palpy: You must turn to the dark side!
Anakin: No!
Palpy: Please?
Anakin: Hmm....
Palpy: Oh, come on. It'll be fun.
Anakin: Ok.
Palpy: You are now Darth Vader.
That scene sucked.
Quote from: Chuck on May 20, 2005, 09:33:49 AM
Quote from: Andy on May 20, 2005, 08:38:07 AM
What I find amazing is that the actor who gives the best performance is Yoda.
Quite correct.
Quote
Great movie, I might even go see it again before it comes out on DVD just to look at the damn thing, because you know there's all kinds of stuff you missed the first time.
Yeah. Like the reason the Wookies were even in this movie. Why they killed Grevious so early -- and never had him really face Anakin given their parallels. And how Anakin really became bad.
Palpy: You must turn to the dark side!
Anakin: No!
Palpy: Please?
Anakin: Hmm....
Palpy: Oh, come on. It'll be fun.
Anakin: Ok.
Palpy: You are now Darth Vader.
That scene sucked.
The movie sucked. Ok, it has some very good visual effects. But, just about anyone could have spruced up this story. Substituting light saber battles for an actual storyline doesn't exactly make it compelling. This was about as much fun as watching your friend play a video game for two hours.
Quote from: Brian on May 19, 2005, 10:13:29 AM
Also, in certain key situations, a character did something which didn't make sense other than not to f@#$ up 4, 5 and 6.
A lot is said about the job this movie does of intermeshing the entire story, both good and bad things, and I would like to explore this instance. Now having seen the movie (holding it in high regard but still reluctant to rate or compare), I can ask which character and situations you're refering to.Â
I forced my girlfriend to switch days at work and drove four hours to see it on opening night with my best friend. I thought it was great. It explained a lot, it tied the loose ends, and it has me excited for the Star Wars TV series which will be coming out sometime in the near future.
Who knew that YODA would be the biggest badass in the Star Wars galaxy?
Bump.
Slashfilm linked some genius' 70-minute youtube review breaking down how awful, awful Episode I was.
http://www.slashfilm.com/2009/12/17/watch-this-70-minute-video-review-of-star-wars-the-phantom-menace/ (http://www.slashfilm.com/2009/12/17/watch-this-70-minute-video-review-of-star-wars-the-phantom-menace/)
The first chapter talks about the main reason the movie sucks. There's no reason to give a shit about any of the characters.
The rest is about how nothing in plot makes any sense at all.
If you don't want to spend 70 minutes getting reminded of how terrible the movie is, just watch part one and the last four minutes of part six. All of it is brilliant, though.
DPD.
The same guy posted a nine-part Episode II review.
SPOILER: Attack of the Clones fucking sucked.
Part 1 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfBhi6qqFLA)
Part 2 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Im7k4LUzA3Y)
Part 3 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ux8pCqiiBLA)
Part 4 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGnorxUw4AA)
Part 5 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hz1L63TdhC8)
Part 6 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-isAmaVbsM)
Part 7 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Blkx6axytKQ)
Part 8 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9QThD0r3hZg)
Part 9 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iq0wv2ossJU)
Quote from: Tinker to Evers to Chance on April 04, 2010, 10:41:46 AM
DPD.
The same guy posted a nine-part Episode II review.
SPOILER: Attack of the Clones fucking sucked.
Part 1 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfBhi6qqFLA)
Part 2 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Im7k4LUzA3Y)
Part 3 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ux8pCqiiBLA)
Part 4 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGnorxUw4AA)
Part 5 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hz1L63TdhC8)
Part 6 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-isAmaVbsM)
Part 7 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Blkx6axytKQ)
Part 8 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9QThD0r3hZg)
Part 9 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iq0wv2ossJU)
Part 1 is fucked by the Cartoon Network
Quote from: Yeti on April 05, 2010, 10:48:34 PM
Quote from: Tinker to Evers to Chance on April 04, 2010, 10:41:46 AM
DPD.
The same guy posted a nine-part Episode II review.
SPOILER: Attack of the Clones fucking sucked.
Part 1 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfBhi6qqFLA)
Part 2 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Im7k4LUzA3Y)
Part 3 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ux8pCqiiBLA)
Part 4 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGnorxUw4AA)
Part 5 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hz1L63TdhC8)
Part 6 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-isAmaVbsM)
Part 7 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Blkx6axytKQ)
Part 8 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9QThD0r3hZg)
Part 9 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iq0wv2ossJU)
Part 1 is fucked by the Cartoon Network
Back up now.
DPD.
Revenge of the Sith Review (http://www.redlettermedia.com/sith.html)
OK, I only tuned in halfway through, but this is some of the dumbest shit I?ve ever seen. No, we need TWO laser-dong fights. At the same time. Put one on rafts for variety. And frost it with operatic music.