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Author Topic: Let's look forward to the Viking Dongpocalypse  ( 83,014 )

Oleg

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Re: Let's look forward to the Viking Dongpocalypse
« Reply #570 on: December 14, 2010, 10:40:53 PM »
Quote from: Brownie on December 14, 2010, 09:29:15 PM
Quote from: Slaky on December 14, 2010, 09:12:27 PM
Quote from: Armchair_QB on December 14, 2010, 08:50:11 PM
Quote from: Internet Apex on December 14, 2010, 07:07:50 PM
Quote from: Armchair_QB on December 14, 2010, 04:13:11 PM
I guess it's too much to hope that they move the game to Chicago.

I honestly hope they don't. I don't want to hear the fucking whining that would result if the Bears won. I just want to enjoy my fucking NFC North Division Champions T-shirt in solemn silence. Just for one fucking day. That's all I want.

Good point. Maybe they could play it at Miller Park.

It's been decided. TCF Field it is.

I'm telling you: this will be entertaining. The U of M is about as prepared to host an NFL game as my backyard is. At least I'd be able to serve beer.

Can we just have a consensus now that The Bears won't deserve to win and be done with it?

Internet Apex

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Re: Let's look forward to the Viking Dongpocalypse
« Reply #571 on: December 14, 2010, 10:54:30 PM »
Quote from: Oleg on December 14, 2010, 10:40:53 PM
Quote from: Brownie on December 14, 2010, 09:29:15 PM
Quote from: Slaky on December 14, 2010, 09:12:27 PM
Quote from: Armchair_QB on December 14, 2010, 08:50:11 PM
Quote from: Internet Apex on December 14, 2010, 07:07:50 PM
Quote from: Armchair_QB on December 14, 2010, 04:13:11 PM
I guess it's too much to hope that they move the game to Chicago.

I honestly hope they don't. I don't want to hear the fucking whining that would result if the Bears won. I just want to enjoy my fucking NFC North Division Champions T-shirt in solemn silence. Just for one fucking day. That's all I want.

Good point. Maybe they could play it at Miller Park.

It's been decided. TCF Field it is.

I'm telling you: this will be entertaining. The U of M is about as prepared to host an NFL game as my backyard is. At least I'd be able to serve beer.

Can we just have a consensus now that The Bears won't deserve to win and be done with it?

I'm kind of confused about who gets the deserved win between the Packers and Lions this week. I mean, the Packers totally would of won had Rodgers not gotten concussed in the age of some geigh new rule about guys with concussions getting babied like a common Cutler. But Detroit fought hard for that win with its third stringer in there. I say we call it a draw and let both teams duke it out in the first round of the Deserved Playoffs. Those start in March.
The 37th Tenet of Pexism:  Apestink is terrible.

Brownie

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Re: Let's look forward to the Viking Dongpocalypse
« Reply #572 on: December 15, 2010, 09:18:05 AM »
Quote from: Internet Apex on December 14, 2010, 10:54:30 PM
Quote from: Oleg on December 14, 2010, 10:40:53 PM
Quote from: Brownie on December 14, 2010, 09:29:15 PM
Quote from: Slaky on December 14, 2010, 09:12:27 PM
Quote from: Armchair_QB on December 14, 2010, 08:50:11 PM
Quote from: Internet Apex on December 14, 2010, 07:07:50 PM
Quote from: Armchair_QB on December 14, 2010, 04:13:11 PM
I guess it's too much to hope that they move the game to Chicago.

I honestly hope they don't. I don't want to hear the fucking whining that would result if the Bears won. I just want to enjoy my fucking NFC North Division Champions T-shirt in solemn silence. Just for one fucking day. That's all I want.

Good point. Maybe they could play it at Miller Park.

It's been decided. TCF Field it is.

I'm telling you: this will be entertaining. The U of M is about as prepared to host an NFL game as my backyard is. At least I'd be able to serve beer.

Can we just have a consensus now that The Bears won't deserve to win and be done with it?

I'm kind of confused about who gets the deserved win between the Packers and Lions this week. I mean, the Packers totally would of won had Rodgers not gotten concussed in the age of some geigh new rule about guys with concussions getting babied like a common Cutler. But Detroit fought hard for that win with its third stringer in there. I say we call it a draw and let both teams duke it out in the first round of the Deserved Playoffs. Those start in March.

Who's the favorite in the AFC's Deserved Playoffs? Denver? New York? San Diego? Buffalo? Indianapolis?

In fairness to at least the media in Minneapolis, it sounds like the only thing anyone up there thinks the Vikings deserve is to freeze to death on the TCF Bank Stadium Sidelines.

This game should be another Dongpocalyptic event for the Vikings, seeing that they truly are behind the 8-ball with snow removal (can't use plows most places at the stadium); seat assignments; extra seating; an unheated field (I think every field is heated in the NFL so it doesn't freeze); concession stands and restrooms that might not survive the cold thus flooding concourses; no beer at the stadium unless the university, the state and the city can act quickly to allow for it as they would need a waiver on a state law banning alcohol inside, a waiver on university policy and a city liquor license; and finally a shitty, shitty team with nothing to play for starting Daunte Culpepper, or Patrick Ramsey or Brett Favre or Tommy Kramer or Wade Wilson or whoever.

Apex wanted murders at Bears games. This might be where he gets his wish. The Minnesota Vikings franchise could very well be murdered after this Dongpocalypse. L.A., here they come!

And the beauty of it is, we can track the whole Dongpocalypse right here. Nice work, Slaky!

Internet Apex

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Re: Let's look forward to the Viking Dongpocalypse
« Reply #573 on: December 15, 2010, 10:10:24 AM »
Quote from: Brownie on December 15, 2010, 09:18:05 AM
Quote from: Internet Apex on December 14, 2010, 10:54:30 PM
Quote from: Oleg on December 14, 2010, 10:40:53 PM
Quote from: Brownie on December 14, 2010, 09:29:15 PM
Quote from: Slaky on December 14, 2010, 09:12:27 PM
Quote from: Armchair_QB on December 14, 2010, 08:50:11 PM
Quote from: Internet Apex on December 14, 2010, 07:07:50 PM
Quote from: Armchair_QB on December 14, 2010, 04:13:11 PM
I guess it's too much to hope that they move the game to Chicago.

I honestly hope they don't. I don't want to hear the fucking whining that would result if the Bears won. I just want to enjoy my fucking NFC North Division Champions T-shirt in solemn silence. Just for one fucking day. That's all I want.

Good point. Maybe they could play it at Miller Park.

It's been decided. TCF Field it is.

I'm telling you: this will be entertaining. The U of M is about as prepared to host an NFL game as my backyard is. At least I'd be able to serve beer.

Can we just have a consensus now that The Bears won't deserve to win and be done with it?

I'm kind of confused about who gets the deserved win between the Packers and Lions this week. I mean, the Packers totally would of won had Rodgers not gotten concussed in the age of some geigh new rule about guys with concussions getting babied like a common Cutler. But Detroit fought hard for that win with its third stringer in there. I say we call it a draw and let both teams duke it out in the first round of the Deserved Playoffs. Those start in March.

Who's the favorite in the AFC's Deserved Playoffs? Denver? New York? San Diego? Buffalo? Indianapolis?

In fairness to at least the media in Minneapolis, it sounds like the only thing anyone up there thinks the Vikings deserve is to freeze to death on the TCF Bank Stadium Sidelines.

This game should be another Dongpocalyptic event for the Vikings, seeing that they truly are behind the 8-ball with snow removal (can't use plows most places at the stadium); seat assignments; extra seating; an unheated field (I think every field is heated in the NFL so it doesn't freeze); concession stands and restrooms that might not survive the cold thus flooding concourses; no beer at the stadium unless the university, the state and the city can act quickly to allow for it as they would need a waiver on a state law banning alcohol inside, a waiver on university policy and a city liquor license; and finally a shitty, shitty team with nothing to play for starting Daunte Culpepper, or Patrick Ramsey or Brett Favre or Tommy Kramer or Wade Wilson or whoever.

Apex wanted murders at Bears games. This might be where he gets his wish. The Minnesota Vikings franchise could very well be murdered after this Dongpocalypse. L.A., here they come!

And the beauty of it is, we can track the whole Dongpocalypse right here. Nice work, Slaky!

Great post.

Indy gets homefield throughout the AFC's Deserved Playoffs due to all the injuries on offense. Peyton can't do it all himself like we all thought it turns out. And when the line doesn't protect him while he throws to white guys who aren't where they're supposed to be, he might actually get intercepted. Who knew? Anyways, no fair.

The 37th Tenet of Pexism:  Apestink is terrible.

Slaky

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Re: Let's look forward to the Viking Dongpocalypse
« Reply #574 on: December 15, 2010, 10:37:59 AM »
This thread was probably one of my greatest creations.

Brownie

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Re: Let's look forward to the Viking Dongpocalypse
« Reply #575 on: December 15, 2010, 10:40:52 AM »
Hey, want to shovel a lot of snow that is on something that is not your driveway for several hours in frigid conditions as even more snow falls on your city and not get paid for it? I have just the place for you!

Note: 6 more inches of snow are expected to fall in the Twin Cities tonight. Dongpocalypse rages on.

Brownie

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Re: Let's look forward to the Viking Dongpocalypse
« Reply #576 on: December 15, 2010, 11:02:32 AM »
Quote from: Slaky on December 15, 2010, 10:37:59 AM
This thread was probably one of my greatest creations.

I sat back and read some of it from the start Monday night. It starts innocently enough: Childress and Favre aren't the bosom buddies we all assumed they were. Then, the Bears game, which nearly ended the Viking Apocalypse as Robbie Gould missed the field goal at the end of regulation. But Hunter Hillenmeyer then stripped the ball from Adrian Peterson and the Apocalypse was on again:



It was then simply a little bump in the road for the TEAM OF DESTINY as it romped on the the Super Bowl where Brett Favre would show Peyton Manning that old gunslingers from the Mississippi side of the Gulf Coast have more fun and play better ball. But then the apocalypse raged on when the New Orleans Katrinas would right the wrongs inflicted on them by Ray Nagin, George W. Bush and the 2006 Bears by punishing the hell out of Brett Favruhuh. The gunslinger raged on though and he and Childress overcame all odds to be tied and driving to a certain Ryan Longwell kick when Favruh-uh made a living legend out of Indiana alum Tracy Porter. We had a discussion about whether Garret Hartley's kick was splooge-worthy and a brief huzzah! to IAN's Saints. Strangely, Fork made some Dong jokes, but at that time the most famous dong on the Vikings belonged to a man named Visanthe.

But then it went dormant for awhile, only to see more activity during the spring of "Will he or Won't he" Favre drama. Then we found out he was retired. Then unretired. Then Jenn Sterger happened. And if you didn't think it could get any worse, it did.

Season over early
Coach canned early
Viking defense porous
Percy Harvin and Sidney Rice unhealthy
Bernard Berrian bust-tastic
Adrian Peterson sadly irrelevant

We all  thought that we were witnessing the full-blown Apocalyptic Dongpocalypse, but those were just the mere signs of the coming Dongpocalypse. These next three weeks and then the lead up to the inevitable move to L.A. should be pretty special. The bad news is that the pressure will be on Kermit's beloved Twins and Mike D. and Andy's beloved Jerry Kill to lift the state of Minnesota up from the depression brought on by the I-35W bridge collapse.

SKO

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Re: Let's look forward to the Viking Dongpocalypse
« Reply #577 on: December 15, 2010, 11:05:44 AM »
Quote from: Brownie on December 15, 2010, 11:02:32 AM
Quote from: Slaky on December 15, 2010, 10:37:59 AM
This thread was probably one of my greatest creations.

I sat back and read some of it from the start Monday night. It starts innocently enough: Childress and Favre aren't the bosom buddies we all assumed they were. Then, the Bears game, which nearly ended the Viking Apocalypse as Robbie Gould missed the field goal at the end of regulation. But Hunter Hillenmeyer then stripped the ball from Adrian Peterson and the Apocalypse was on again:



It was then simply a little bump in the road for the TEAM OF DESTINY as it romped on the the Super Bowl where Brett Favre would show Peyton Manning that old gunslingers from the Mississippi side of the Gulf Coast have more fun and play better ball. But then the apocalypse raged on when the New Orleans Katrinas would right the wrongs inflicted on them by Ray Nagin, George W. Bush and the 2006 Bears by punishing the hell out of Brett Favruhuh. The gunslinger raged on though and he and Childress overcame all odds to be tied and driving to a certain Ryan Longwell kick when Favruh-uh made a living legend out of Indiana alum Tracy Porter. We had a discussion about whether Garret Hartley's kick was splooge-worthy and a brief huzzah! to IAN's Saints. Strangely, Fork made some Dong jokes, but at that time the most famous dong on the Vikings belonged to a man named Visanthe.

But then it went dormant for awhile, only to see more activity during the spring of "Will he or Won't he" Favre drama. Then we found out he was retired. Then unretired. Then Jenn Sterger happened. And if you didn't think it could get any worse, it did.

Season over early
Coach canned early
Viking defense porous
Percy Harvin and Sidney Rice unhealthy
Bernard Berrian bust-tastic
Adrian Peterson sadly irrelevant

We all that we were witnessing the full-blown Apocalyptic Dongpocalypse, but those were just the mere signs of the coming Dongpocalypse. These next three weeks and then the lead up to the inevitable move to L.A. should be pretty special. The bad news is that the pressure will be on Kermit's beloved Twins and Mike D. and Andy's beloved Jerry Kill to lift the state of Minnesota up from the depression brought on by the I-35W bridge collapse.

LSA!
I will vow, for the sake of peace, not to complain about David Ross between now and his first start next year- 10/26/2015

Brownie

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Armchair_QB

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Re: Let's look forward to the Viking Dongpocalypse
« Reply #579 on: December 15, 2010, 12:54:05 PM »
Quote from: Brownie on December 15, 2010, 10:40:52 AM
Hey, want to shovel a lot of snow that is on something that is not your driveway for several hours in frigid conditions as even more snow falls on your city and not get paid for it? I have just the place for you!

Note: 6 more inches of snow are expected to fall in the Twin Cities tonight. Dongpocalypse rages on.

My brother lives up there and he summed up the general local consensus on this quite nicely. "I pay somebody to shovel my driveway. Why the fuck would I shovel their stadium for free?"
"I never read this book the Cardinals wrote way back in the day regarding how to play baseball."

J. Walter Weatherman

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Re: Let's look forward to the Viking Dongpocalypse
« Reply #580 on: December 15, 2010, 01:03:59 PM »
Quote from: Armchair_QB on December 15, 2010, 12:54:05 PM
Quote from: Brownie on December 15, 2010, 10:40:52 AM
Hey, want to shovel a lot of snow that is on something that is not your driveway for several hours in frigid conditions as even more snow falls on your city and not get paid for it? I have just the place for you!

Note: 6 more inches of snow are expected to fall in the Twin Cities tonight. Dongpocalypse rages on.

My brother lives up there and he summed up the general local consensus on this quite nicely. "I pay somebody to shovel my driveway. Why the fuck would I shovel their stadium for free?"

I'm picturing Jerry Lundegaard attacking his frozen windshield with an ice scraper and laughing.

Which reminds me... The Vikings will also be issuing a call for volunteers come January...

Loor and I came acrossks like opatoets.

Brownie

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Re: Let's look forward to the Viking Dongpocalypse
« Reply #581 on: December 15, 2010, 01:54:05 PM »
Quote from: Brownie on December 15, 2010, 11:49:57 AM
Jim Irsay has the Mayflower Trucks running, should Zygi need any help.



Is it too late for Internet Apex to arrange for a Desipio cheering section at Lucas Oil Stadium next Monday?

Even the Vikings are loudly hedging their bets.

QuoteAt this time, NFL officials are touring TCF Bank Stadium to ensure its safety for our fans and its ability to meet the primary technical requirements for an NFL game. Ultimately the decision to re-locate a game is the league's in consultation with the two teams.  The NFL supports the plan to play Monday night's game at TCF Bank Stadium but is currently ensuring viability of this plan.

At the same time, the Vikings and the University of Minnesota are diligently working through all of the issues associated with moving a game such as tickets, parking, and operations. The organization is working to accommodate our fans' questions, and we will continue to inform them on this fluid situation as soon as more information is available.

Internet Apex

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Re: Let's look forward to the Viking Dongpocalypse
« Reply #582 on: December 15, 2010, 01:58:46 PM »
Quote from: Brownie on December 15, 2010, 01:54:05 PM
Quote from: Brownie on December 15, 2010, 11:49:57 AM
Jim Irsay has the Mayflower Trucks running, should Zygi need any help.



Is it too late for Internet Apex to arrange for a Desipio cheering section at Lucas Oil Stadium next Monday?

Even the Vikings are loudly hedging their bets.

QuoteAt this time, NFL officials are touring TCF Bank Stadium to ensure its safety for our fans and its ability to meet the primary technical requirements for an NFL game. Ultimately the decision to re-locate a game is the league's in consultation with the two teams.  The NFL supports the plan to play Monday night's game at TCF Bank Stadium but is currently ensuring viability of this plan.

At the same time, the Vikings and the University of Minnesota are diligently working through all of the issues associated with moving a game such as tickets, parking, and operations. The organization is working to accommodate our fans' questions, and we will continue to inform them on this fluid situation as soon as more information is available.

If this game is moved to Indy, let's start a thread and see what we can drum up.
The 37th Tenet of Pexism:  Apestink is terrible.

Eli

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Re: Let's look forward to the Viking Dongpocalypse
« Reply #583 on: December 15, 2010, 02:06:49 PM »
I don't know what the fuss is.  I think the field looks fine right now.






Oleg

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Re: Let's look forward to the Viking Dongpocalypse
« Reply #584 on: December 15, 2010, 03:10:01 PM »
Don't those iditos know that snow melts?