2012 Chicago Cubs

[Quality Start Machine]

I'm literally standing in the baggage claim area at San Francisco airport next to David DeJesus and his wife.

DPD. DeJesus really doesn't care for Soriano.

Are you going to elaborate on this for us?

Yeah, Gil...
Something from a world even smaller than the currently-dried up Desipio.

Maybe 12 people get this inside joke and I'm guessing no more than 3 actually find it funny'd.

Huard McPank: Sheriff of Desipio.

Fine.  Encourage Morph and Fork's FunHouse of ShoutShop Madness©, I don't care.  Nobody posts here anymore anyway.  

*Kicks pebble*

*watches runner score from third*

*sighs as his fat, 50 year old catcher desperately tries to find holes in his game*

6 years of dance lessons & Huey still does a better flying pirouette than I do.

[BH]

When are you going to share the anecdote about his disdain for Soriano? We're all on pins and needles here.

Seriously. No one cares about any of the other crap you've been saying.

He basically asked Dejesus--"So...Soriano--how much of an asshole is *that* guy?" and got the answer he was fishing for.

My apologies.  I asked, after establishing somewhat of a rapport, if Soriano was as much of a dick as he appeared to be.  His response: "Every bit of it.  Dude, wouldn't you be if you made like $500 million?"

"Well, I'd like to think I'd be somewhat charit...you're right, I'd be an asshole too."

/scene.

I never really pegged Soriano for being a prick.  I just sort of hate how he plays baseball.

What did Soriano do that made Gil know he was a dick?

[J. Walter Weatherman]

When are you going to share the anecdote about his disdain for Soriano? We're all on pins and needles here.

Seriously. No one cares about any of the other crap you've been saying.

He basically asked Dejesus--"So...Soriano--how much of an asshole is *that* guy?" and got the answer he was fishing for.

My apologies.  I asked, after establishing somewhat of a rapport, if Soriano was as much of a dick as he appeared to be.  His response: "Every bit of it.  Dude, wouldn't you be if you made like $500 million?"

"Well, I'd like to think I'd be somewhat charit...you're right, I'd be an asshole too."

/scene.

Gil doesn't need half a billion dollars to be a total dick. He can be a dick with just a $1200 suit.

[morpheus]

When are you going to share the anecdote about his disdain for Soriano? We're all on pins and needles here.

Seriously. No one cares about any of the other crap you've been saying.

He basically asked Dejesus--"So...Soriano--how much of an asshole is *that* guy?" and got the answer he was fishing for.

My apologies.  I asked, after establishing somewhat of a rapport, if Soriano was as much of a dick as he appeared to be.  His response: "Every bit of it.  Dude, wouldn't you be if you made like $500 million?"

"Well, I'd like to think I'd be somewhat charit...you're right, I'd be an asshole too."

/scene.

Gil doesn't need half a billion dollars to be a total dick. He can be a dick with just a $1200 suit.

$1200?  Piker.

[Tinker to Evers to Chance]

When are you going to share the anecdote about his disdain for Soriano? We're all on pins and needles here.

Seriously. No one cares about any of the other crap you've been saying.

He basically asked Dejesus--"So...Soriano--how much of an asshole is *that* guy?" and got the answer he was fishing for.

My apologies.  I asked, after establishing somewhat of a rapport, if Soriano was as much of a dick as he appeared to be.  His response: "Every bit of it.  Dude, wouldn't you be if you made like $500 million?"

"Well, I'd like to think I'd be somewhat charit...you're right, I'd be an asshole too."

/scene.

Gil doesn't need half a billion dollars to be a total dick. He can be a dick with just a $1200 suit.

Gil doesn't have half a billion dollars, but he's not a poor person.

[BH]

When are you going to share the anecdote about his disdain for Soriano? We're all on pins and needles here.

Seriously. No one cares about any of the other crap you've been saying.

He basically asked Dejesus--"So...Soriano--how much of an asshole is *that* guy?" and got the answer he was fishing for.

My apologies.  I asked, after establishing somewhat of a rapport, if Soriano was as much of a dick as he appeared to be.  His response: "Every bit of it.  Dude, wouldn't you be if you made like $500 million?"

"Well, I'd like to think I'd be somewhat charit...you're right, I'd be an asshole too."

/scene.

Gil doesn't need half a billion dollars to be a total dick. He can be a dick with just a $1200 suit.

Gil doesn't have half a billion dollars, but he's not a poor person.

I bet on the flight back, someone asks Dejesus how big of a dick Gil is.

[Internet Apex]

When are you going to share the anecdote about his disdain for Soriano? We're all on pins and needles here.

Seriously. No one cares about any of the other crap you've been saying.

He basically asked Dejesus--"So...Soriano--how much of an asshole is *that* guy?" and got the answer he was fishing for.

My apologies.  I asked, after establishing somewhat of a rapport, if Soriano was as much of a dick as he appeared to be.  His response: "Every bit of it.  Dude, wouldn't you be if you made like $500 million?"

"Well, I'd like to think I'd be somewhat charit...you're right, I'd be an asshole too."

/scene.

Gil doesn't need half a billion dollars to be a total dick. He can be a dick with just a $1200 suit.

Gil doesn't have half a billion dollars, but he's not a poor person.

I bet on the flight back, someone asks Dejesus how big of a dick Gil is.

Boom. Roasted.

[Saul Goodman]

When are you going to share the anecdote about his disdain for Soriano? We're all on pins and needles here.

Seriously. No one cares about any of the other crap you've been saying.

He basically asked Dejesus--"So...Soriano--how much of an asshole is *that* guy?" and got the answer he was fishing for.

My apologies.  I asked, after establishing somewhat of a rapport, if Soriano was as much of a dick as he appeared to be.  His response: "Every bit of it.  Dude, wouldn't you be if you made like $500 million?"

"Well, I'd like to think I'd be somewhat charit...you're right, I'd be an asshole too."

/scene.

Gil doesn't need half a billion dollars to be a total dick. He can be a dick with just a $1200 suit.

COME ON!

[BH]

According to crazy rumor guy, the cubs are taking offers on castro.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

According to crazy rumor guy Bob Nightengale of USA Today, the cubs are taking willing to consider offers on castro any player not named Samardzija.

I am Bort's simmering rage'd

[Chuck to Chuck]

According to crazy rumor guy, the cubs are taking offers on castro.

Everyone is preparing themselves.

[Eli]

According to crazy rumor guy, the cubs are taking offers on castro.

Starlin Castro could be obtained for two impact prospects, according to Nightengale.

If that's offered, the Cubs have to take it. Because maybe one of the prospects would turn out to be as good as Starlin Castro.

[Brownie]

According to crazy rumor guy, the cubs are taking offers on castro.

Everyone is preparing themselves.

Isn't Chuck the Big Man on Campus today? First, David DeJesus, and now crazy rumor guy have joined the Chuck Party.

[Chuck to Chuck]

According to crazy rumor guy, the cubs are taking offers on castro.

Everyone is preparing themselves.

Isn't Chuck the Big Man on Campus today? First, David DeJesus, and now crazy rumor guy have joined the Chuck Party.

To be fair, CRG is just quoting Bob Nightengale.  So, it's the USA Today scribe that's joined me.

[Powdered Toast Man]

According to crazy rumor guy, the cubs are taking offers on castro.

Starlin Castro could be obtained for two impact prospects, according to Nightengale.

If that's offered, the Cubs have to take it. Because maybe one of the prospects would turn out to be as good as Starlin Castro.

Maybe the Cubs could finally get Brian Roberts.