Totally Unreadable

[SKO]

From St. Louis Today as seen on Deadspin:

"We're spoiled, really. Watching postseason baseball and experiencing the thrills and the triumphs of October is no longer a privilege in St. Louis. It is a way of life, a part of the cityscape, and a cherished tradition that rarely fails to raise spirits and cause hearts to flutter.


This is St. Louis, the best baseball town in America. This is the home of the Cardinals, an iconic franchise that stands above most others that have occupied a place in our national pastime."

We should nuke them like in Return of the Living Dead.

Without even looking that's gotta be Leitch, no?

[Bort]

From St. Louis Today as seen on Deadspin:

"We're spoiled, really. Watching postseason baseball and experiencing the thrills and the triumphs of October is no longer a privilege in St. Louis. It is a way of life, a part of the cityscape, and a cherished tradition that rarely fails to raise spirits and cause hearts to flutter.


This is St. Louis, the best baseball town in America. This is the home of the Cardinals, an iconic franchise that stands above most others that have occupied a place in our national pastime."

We should nuke them like in Return of the Living Dead.

Without even looking that's gotta be Leitch, no?

If it's not, someone finally created the ultimate Sentimental Overwritten Tripebot.

[Quality Start Machine]

From St. Louis Today as seen on Deadspin:

"We're spoiled, really. Watching postseason baseball and experiencing the thrills and the triumphs of October is no longer a privilege in St. Louis. It is a way of life, a part of the cityscape, and a cherished tradition that rarely fails to raise spirits and cause hearts to flutter.


This is St. Louis, the best baseball town in America. This is the home of the Cardinals, an iconic franchise that stands above most others that have occupied a place in our national pastime."

I'd wish for this person to die in a tire fire, but since they're Cardinals fans, that's their most likely outcome anyway.

[Brownie]

From St. Louis Today as seen on Deadspin:

"We're spoiled, really. Watching postseason baseball and experiencing the thrills and the triumphs of October is no longer a privilege in St. Louis. It is a way of life, a part of the cityscape, and a cherished tradition that rarely fails to raise spirits and cause hearts to flutter.


This is St. Louis, the best baseball town in America. This is the home of the Cardinals, an iconic franchise that stands above most others that have occupied a place in our national pastime."

I'd wish for this person to die in a tire fire meth lab explosion, but since they're Cardinals fans, that's their most likely outcome anyway.

Missourah'd

[Internet Apex]

From St. Louis Today as seen on Deadspin:

"We're spoiled, really. Watching postseason baseball and experiencing the thrills and the triumphs of October is no longer a privilege in St. Louis. It is a way of life, a part of the cityscape, and a cherished tradition that rarely fails to raise spirits and cause hearts to flutter.


This is St. Louis, the best baseball town in America. This is the home of the Cardinals, an iconic franchise that stands above most others that have occupied a place in our national pastime."

We should nuke them like in Return of the Living Dead.

Without even looking that's gotta be Leitch, no?

Oh, good. I definitely hate the Cardinals again.

[Quality Start Machine]

From St. Louis Today as seen on Deadspin:

"We're spoiled, really. Watching postseason baseball and experiencing the thrills and the triumphs of October is no longer a privilege in St. Louis. It is a way of life, a part of the cityscape, and a cherished tradition that rarely fails to raise spirits and cause hearts to flutter.


This is St. Louis, the best baseball town in America. This is the home of the Cardinals, an iconic franchise that stands above most others that have occupied a place in our national pastime."

We should nuke them like in Return of the Living Dead.

Without even looking that's gotta be Leitch, no?

Oh, good. I definitely hate the Cardinals again.

I can't wait until they do one about Heat fans.

[CT III]

Rick Reilly ain't going fall in line with you wusses who think the term "Redskins" could be construed as a racial epithet.

http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/9689220/redskins-name-change-not-easy-sounds

His own father-in-law, a genuine Elder of the Blackfeet tribe thinks the whole debate is silly.

Oh wait, that's not what he said at all.

http://indiancountrytodaymedianetwork.com/2013/10/10/blackfeet-elder-says-rick-reilly-misquoted-him-wants-redskins-banned-151696

Well, that's awkward.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

After the first goddamned possession.

Fuck you, Chuck.

[Slaky]

After the first goddamned possession.

Fuck you, Chuck.

I still kind of agree with Chuck

[J. Walter Weatherman]

After the first goddamned possession.

Fuck you, Chuck.

I still kind of agree with Chuck

The Bears have a mediocre defense, but the team overall is not "shitty".

And they're certainly not "shitty" just because an offense that's averaging over 28 points per game failed to convert once off a turnover.

[SKO]

After the first goddamned possession.

Fuck you, Chuck.

I still kind of agree with Chuck

The Bears have a mediocre defense, but the team overall is not "shitty".

And they're certainly not "shitty" just because an offense that's averaging over 28 points per game failed to convert once off a turnover.

I hate Bears fans. They were down 6 freaking defensive starters by the end of the game tonight and we're mad that they only won by 6. Our quarterback is putting up top ten numbers and easily destroying franchise records and we bitch because some drives stalled and they got fucked by a lame grounding call on what was clearly a screen. The offense is averaging 28 PPG and over 370 YPG but they don't score for whole quarters sometimes so they suck. I hate Bears fans. We don't deserve a Superbowl team if we ever get one.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

After the first goddamned possession.

Fuck you, Chuck.

I still kind of agree with Chuck

The Bears have a mediocre defense, but the team overall is not "shitty".

And they're certainly not "shitty" just because an offense that's averaging over 28 points per game failed to convert once off a turnover.

I hate Bears fans. They were down 6 freaking defensive starters by the end of the game tonight and we're mad that they only won by 6. Our quarterback is putting up top ten numbers and easily destroying franchise records and we bitch because some drives stalled and they got fucked by a lame grounding call on what was clearly a screen. The offense is averaging 28 PPG and over 370 YPG but they don't score for whole quarters sometimes so they suck. I hate Bears fans. We don't deserve a Superbowl team if we ever get one.

28.7 PPG/369.2 YPG against teams who've otherwise given up a collective 22.9 PPG/346.6 YPG to their non-Bears opponents. The latter being conveniently close to league average.

[SKO]

After the first goddamned possession.

Fuck you, Chuck.

I still kind of agree with Chuck

The Bears have a mediocre defense, but the team overall is not "shitty".

And they're certainly not "shitty" just because an offense that's averaging over 28 points per game failed to convert once off a turnover.

I hate Bears fans. They were down 6 freaking defensive starters by the end of the game tonight and we're mad that they only won by 6. Our quarterback is putting up top ten numbers and easily destroying franchise records and we bitch because some drives stalled and they got fucked by a lame grounding call on what was clearly a screen. The offense is averaging 28 PPG and over 370 YPG but they don't score for whole quarters sometimes so they suck. I hate Bears fans. We don't deserve a Superbowl team if we ever get one.

28.7 PPG/369.2 YPG against teams who've otherwise given up a collective 22.9 PPG/346.6 YPG to their non-Bears opponents. The latter being conveniently close to league average.

In their first six games of a brand new offense, with four new starters on the offensive line, two of which are rookies.

[Eli]

After the first goddamned possession.

Fuck you, Chuck.

I still kind of agree with Chuck

The Bears have a mediocre defense, but the team overall is not "shitty".

And they're certainly not "shitty" just because an offense that's averaging over 28 points per game failed to convert once off a turnover.

I hate Bears fans. They were down 6 freaking defensive starters by the end of the game tonight and we're mad that they only won by 6. Our quarterback is putting up top ten numbers and easily destroying franchise records and we bitch because some drives stalled and they got fucked by a lame grounding call on what was clearly a screen. The offense is averaging 28 PPG and over 370 YPG but they don't score for whole quarters sometimes so they suck. I hate Bears fans. We don't deserve a Superbowl team if we ever get one.

Why are you always talking about franchise records with Cutler?

[SKO]

After the first goddamned possession.

Fuck you, Chuck.

I still kind of agree with Chuck

The Bears have a mediocre defense, but the team overall is not "shitty".

And they're certainly not "shitty" just because an offense that's averaging over 28 points per game failed to convert once off a turnover.

I hate Bears fans. They were down 6 freaking defensive starters by the end of the game tonight and we're mad that they only won by 6. Our quarterback is putting up top ten numbers and easily destroying franchise records and we bitch because some drives stalled and they got fucked by a lame grounding call on what was clearly a screen. The offense is averaging 28 PPG and over 370 YPG but they don't score for whole quarters sometimes so they suck. I hate Bears fans. We don't deserve a Superbowl team if we ever get one.

Why are you always talking about franchise records with Cutler?

Because I always find it irritating that given this franchise' woeful history with QBs the assumption is we can just toss the best one we've ever had and find someone better right away.