Dawn of the Tyler Colvin Era

[PenFoe]

In a few years the Cubs will start the sounds like they're black, but they're white outfield of Kyler Burke, Tyler Colvin and Brett Jackson.

I'll believe that when Huey predicts it.

Keep me out of this--I'm still trying to figure out how Kyler Burke sounds "black"

I'm with Mike Dimwit on this one. Kyler sounds like cornpone trailer trash to me.

Well, you're both wronger than PenFoe.

O RLY?

Find me black dude with the last name of "Burke".  Ellis doesn't count.

Find me black guy with a first name of "Kyler".

Short of that, please tell me how we're wrong.

Leave me out of this.

I'm still trying to figure out how Nate Spears became white.

[Oleg]

Find me black dude with the last name of "Burke".  Ellis doesn't count.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solomon_Burke

Get to know Solomon Burke.  That motha-fucka is a motha-fucka.

[Dr. Nguyen Van Falk]

Find me black dude with the last name of "Burke".  Ellis doesn't count.

To Wikipedia I go...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leon_Burke_III
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexandra_Burke
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elijah_Burke
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Montel_Vontavious_Porter

There are others, but that will do for now.

Find me black guy with a first name of "Kyler".

Find me a white guy with the first name "Kyler." Burke doesn't count.

[Dr. Nguyen Van Falk]

I'm still trying to figure out how Nate Spears became white.

Dammit. I knew I'd forgotten one.

[Chuck to Chuck]

Find me black dude with the last name of "Burke".  Ellis doesn't count.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solomon_Burke

Get to know Solomon Burke.  That motha-fucka is a motha-fucka.

How about Solomon Grundy?

[Gil Gunderson]

Find me black dude with the last name of "Burke".  Ellis doesn't count.

To Wikipedia I go...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leon_Burke_III
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexandra_Burke
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elijah_Burke
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Montel_Vontavious_Porter

There are others, but that will do for now.

Find me black guy with a first name of "Kyler".

Find me a white guy with the first name "Kyler." Burke doesn't count.

How many black Danes are there?  I can't imagine too many.  However, this is now my afternoon charge.

[Dr. Nguyen Van Falk]

Find me black dude with the last name of "Burke".  Ellis doesn't count.

To Wikipedia I go...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leon_Burke_III
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexandra_Burke
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elijah_Burke
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Montel_Vontavious_Porter

There are others, but that will do for now.

Find me black guy with a first name of "Kyler".

Find me a white guy with the first name "Kyler." Burke doesn't count.

How many black Danes are there?  I can't imagine too many.  However, this is now my afternoon charge.

FACE?

[Dr. Nguyen Van Falk]

Pro-tip for those thinking of GISing "Kyler"...

Turn SafeSearch on.

(On the plus side, I've found a seemingly very popular white Kyler.)

[PenFoe]

Pro-tip for those thinking of GISing "Kyler"...

Turn SafeSearch on.

(On the plus side, I've found a seemingly very popular white Kyler.)

Why did I assume it would be a female?

That was not smart.

[Brownie]

So Kiki Cuyler wasn't black?

[Slaky]

Kid's having a nice series.

[Powdered Toast Man]

The HR was crushed.

[PenFoe]

Regardless of how he's playing, with Soriano, Fukudome and Byrd all performing, isn't it time to send Colvin down to AAA where he can play everyday?

I know Nady can't throw the ball at all, but surely someone (Tracy?) can play the OF in a pinch.

Seems like a waste to have Colvin play 1-2 games a week instead of getting more ABs in Iowa where he can learn from the great Bobby Scales (.346/.478/.558 at the moment).

[Brownie]

Regardless of how he's playing, with Soriano, Fukudome and Byrd all performing, isn't it time to send Colvin down to AAA where he can play everyday?

I know Nady can't throw the ball at all, but surely someone (Tracy?) can play the OF in a pinch.

Seems like a waste to have Colvin play 1-2 games a week instead of getting more ABs in Iowa where he can learn from the great Bobby Scales (.346/.478/.558 at the moment).

Sean Marshall and Carlos Zambrano would volunteer to play outfield.

[Powdered Toast Man]

Regardless of how he's playing, with Soriano, Fukudome and Byrd all performing, isn't it time to send Colvin down to AAA where he can play everyday?

I know Nady can't throw the ball at all, but surely someone (Tracy?) can play the OF in a pinch.

Seems like a waste to have Colvin play 1-2 games a week instead of getting more ABs in Iowa where he can learn from the great Bobby Scales (.346/.478/.558 at the moment).

Fuck you in your fucking face, PenFoe.