Desipio Message Board

You had to know this was coming, right?

By way of both apology and attempt at political reconciliation, my two favorite Obama supporters...



Wankers of the world, unite.

I expect police to be finding pieces of dead hooker for months to come, drained of blood and expertly wrapped in gauze, deliberately scattered throughout the back alleys of the ATL in an elaborate ruse intended only to throw suspicion away from himself.

Also... Yunel Escobar is a car-boat-driving punk.

The Last Kiss ★★★★★
Zach Braff, Jacinda from "The Real World: London" and Casey Affleck? Please tell me I'm dreaming!

Hostel ★★★★★
The closest thing to legal rape porn you can find outside of the former Yugoslavia.

Accepted ★★★★★
The movie that put Jonah Hill on the map. Also featuring John Cusack's non-mentally disabled sister.

Smokin' Aces ★★★★★
Ryan. Reynolds. ('Nuff said.)

The Number 23 ★★★★★
By far my favorite Joel Schumacher flick since Andrew Lloyd Webber's The Phantom of the Opera. I usually don't like math so much, but this movie (like Donald Duck in Mathmagic Land before it) actually made it fun to think about numbers. Could have used some Virginia Madsen showgans, but I guess you can't have everything! (Maybe I'll rent Class next.)

Letters From Iwo Jima ★★★★★
With that Chinese guy from Batman and directed by Philo from Every Which Way But Loose. [spoiler]U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A![/spoiler]

The Hills Have Eyes II ★★★★★
How do you make Hollywood's top post-nuclear cannibal mutant horror film franchise even better? Can you say "National Guard training exercises"?

The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear ★★★★★
Priscilla Presley, Robert Goulet, OJ Simpson. It's like a "who's who" of the Hollywood elite.

Hustle & Flow ★★★★
I'm pretty sure I liked this, but it's kinda hard to say. Black people are so hard to understand sometimes.

The Holiday ★★★★
Jude Law + Jack Black = The Perfect Man

Because I Said So ★★★★
"Why should I see this?" you ask? Don't even make me say it.

Epic Movie ★★★★
30 movies for the price of one! And you know it's funny because the title on the DVD box is in a bright red sans serif. Could have used more Crispin Glover, though.

10 Things I Hate About You ★★★★
2 things I love about this movie? Heath Ledger... and Heath Ledger!

Anaconda ★★★★
Not what I expected at all. But, while this turned out not to be a new star vehicle for Anaconda of Big Black Dicks, Tight White Asses 4 fame, it did feature Danny Trejo as some scary-ass Mexican dude. And that's good enough for TDubbs.

Catch and Release ★★★
A disappointing rom-com follow-up to 13 Going on 30. It's still Jennifer Garner, though, and that's at least half the battle.

Must Love Dogs ★★★
A John Cusack movie without Joan? All the Stockard Channing in the world ain't going to buy you 4 stars, Gary David Goldberg.

The Marine ★
John Cena stars as John Triton. If I want to see a faux-athletic douche in extra-medium shirts, I'll gaze longingly into a mirror, thank you very much.

Delta Farce ★
I'm sorry, I just had a little difficulty buying the premise of this one.

Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj ★
No Ryan Reynolds? Lame.

The Lake House?
Stay tuned!!!

So, from what I'm hearing, the producers of the upcoming G.I. Joe movie hate America so much that they pray nightly for our troops to lose the greatest war mankind has ever known.

Is this on anybody's radar?

I mean, these homos don't even have the courage to make Destro a Muslim suicide bomber. Does HollyWEIRD's leftist perfidy know no end?