The "Jason Heyward Drinks Delicious Cardinal Tears" Sploogetime Thread

[SKO]

If Maddon could just figure out how to put the lineup together correctly, maybe this offense that is 1st in the majors in OBP, 3rd in offensive WAR and 4th in wOBA will finally take off.

3rd in WAR and 4th in wOBA tells me there's room for improvement. Why don't you want the Cubs to try and get better? You're king fuckin' bullshit tolerator these days, aren't you?

I was 90% trolling with that post. I do think some perspective is in order in that (a) that this is very likely going to be the best Cubs offense of the last 25 years - the 2008 team is really the only one that's comparable (b) more importantly this could be the best offense in MLB depending on the Red Sox sustaining their zany BABIP and (c) as Slaky described more succinctly, shit happens throughout a season and there are ebbs and flows on the player level and the team level. Now obviously just saying "Holy shit these guys are good!" all season makes for a boring-ass discourse and that's not what I'm advocating, so I'm just going to be the dickhead who reminds you guys from time to time that holy shit these guys are good.

Pretty much this. I know they are good. If we don't even bitch about the few rough patches though, or act like a bunch of twats over lineup construction, we'll end up just being a bunch of Forks posting "EVERYTHING IS AWESOME" and the discourse on this shit for brains fringe messageboard will somehow hit a new low.

I'm bored at work, I'm gonna speculate who else could hit in Jason Heyward's spot. It's all I got.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

If Maddon could just figure out how to put the lineup together correctly, maybe this offense that is 1st in the majors in OBP, 3rd in offensive WAR and 4th in wOBA will finally take off.

3rd in WAR and 4th in wOBA tells me there's room for improvement. Why don't you want the Cubs to try and get better? You're king fuckin' bullshit tolerator these days, aren't you?

I was 90% trolling with that post. I do think some perspective is in order in that (a) that this is very likely going to be the best Cubs offense of the last 25 years - the 2008 team is really the only one that's comparable (b) more importantly this could be the best offense in MLB depending on the Red Sox sustaining their zany BABIP and (c) as Slaky described more succinctly, shit happens throughout a season and there are ebbs and flows on the player level and the team level. Now obviously just saying "Holy shit these guys are good!" all season makes for a boring-ass discourse and that's not what I'm advocating, so I'm just going to be the dickhead who reminds you guys from time to time that holy shit these guys are good.

Aside from LiteralRV taking SKO seriously, it seems he brought himself in to this discussion to take us to task for suggesting that Maddon drop Heyward in the order.

But, but...



Pick a lane, assface.

[R-V]

If Maddon could just figure out how to put the lineup together correctly, maybe this offense that is 1st in the majors in OBP, 3rd in offensive WAR and 4th in wOBA will finally take off.

3rd in WAR and 4th in wOBA tells me there's room for improvement. Why don't you want the Cubs to try and get better? You're king fuckin' bullshit tolerator these days, aren't you?

I was 90% trolling with that post. I do think some perspective is in order in that (a) that this is very likely going to be the best Cubs offense of the last 25 years - the 2008 team is really the only one that's comparable (b) more importantly this could be the best offense in MLB depending on the Red Sox sustaining their zany BABIP and (c) as Slaky described more succinctly, shit happens throughout a season and there are ebbs and flows on the player level and the team level. Now obviously just saying "Holy shit these guys are good!" all season makes for a boring-ass discourse and that's not what I'm advocating, so I'm just going to be the dickhead who reminds you guys from time to time that holy shit these guys are good.

Aside from LiteralRV taking SKO seriously, it seems he brought himself in to this discussion to take us to task for suggesting that Maddon drop Heyward in the order.

But, but...



Pick a lane, assface.

My lane is that I fixed the problem using just six words. You guys took up a lot of valuable real estate on this here messageboard to reach the same conclusion. Andy has to pay by the word, right?

[R-V]

DPD, but if I was in charge I like the Addison hitting 2nd idea with Heyward dropping down to 6th. I don't think Maddon is perfect - the Rizzo pinch running thing seems particularly bizarre to me as an example - but I do think given Heyward's high-OBP/high-contact track record, and Addison's success thus far with guys on base, it's totally reasonable for Joe to just leave Heyward at #2 and wait for things to presumably work themselves out over the next couple weeks.

[Eli]

DPD, but if I was in charge I like the Addison hitting 2nd idea with Heyward dropping down to 6th. I don't think Maddon is perfect - the Rizzo pinch running thing seems particularly bizarre to me as an example - but I do think given Heyward's high-OBP/high-contact track record, and Addison's success thus far with guys on base, it's totally reasonable for Joe to just leave Heyward at #2 and wait for things to presumably work themselves out over the next couple weeks.

I'm with you on this. Given Heyward's calendar-related tendencies and the fact that he's still getting on base at a decent clip, I'd just leave him. If it gets to July and he's still scuffling along, re-visit it. Addison is so young that I'd be hesitant to shake up what's been working. He's trending toward being a pretty ideal No. 2 hitter, but let's just see how it plays out. I think SKO is simply pushing hard on his Addison-leads-the-team-in-WAR fantasy.

[SKO]

DPD, but if I was in charge I like the Addison hitting 2nd idea with Heyward dropping down to 6th. I don't think Maddon is perfect - the Rizzo pinch running thing seems particularly bizarre to me as an example - but I do think given Heyward's high-OBP/high-contact track record, and Addison's success thus far with guys on base, it's totally reasonable for Joe to just leave Heyward at #2 and wait for things to presumably work themselves out over the next couple weeks.

I'm with you on this. Given Heyward's calendar-related tendencies and the fact that he's still getting on base at a decent clip, I'd just leave him. If it gets to July and he's still scuffling along, re-visit it. Addison is so young that I'd be hesitant to shake up what's been working. He's trending toward being a pretty ideal No. 2 hitter, but let's just see how it plays out. I think SKO is simply pushing hard on his Addison-leads-the-team-in-WAR fantasy.

You may have hitched your wagon to young Troy Glaus, but when Black Derek Jeter Except Good At Defense is speaking at his 2038 half of fame induction, he'll thank me for always being there.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

DPD, but if I was in charge I like the Addison hitting 2nd idea with Heyward dropping down to 6th. I don't think Maddon is perfect - the Rizzo pinch running thing seems particularly bizarre to me as an example - but I do think given Heyward's high-OBP/high-contact track record, and Addison's success thus far with guys on base, it's totally reasonable for Joe to just leave Heyward at #2 and wait for things to presumably work themselves out over the next couple weeks.

I'm with you on this. Given Heyward's calendar-related tendencies and the fact that he's still getting on base at a decent clip, I'd just leave him. If it gets to July and he's still scuffling along, re-visit it. Addison is so young that I'd be hesitant to shake up what's been working. He's trending toward being a pretty ideal No. 2 hitter, but let's just see how it plays out. I think SKO is simply pushing hard on his Addison-leads-the-team-in-WAR fantasy.

You may have hitched your wagon to young Troy Glaus, but when Black Derek Jeter Except Good At Defense is speaking at his 2038 half of fame induction, he'll thank me for always being there.

Ummm, Derek Jeter is black....or at least about as half-black as Addison.

[SKO]

DPD, but if I was in charge I like the Addison hitting 2nd idea with Heyward dropping down to 6th. I don't think Maddon is perfect - the Rizzo pinch running thing seems particularly bizarre to me as an example - but I do think given Heyward's high-OBP/high-contact track record, and Addison's success thus far with guys on base, it's totally reasonable for Joe to just leave Heyward at #2 and wait for things to presumably work themselves out over the next couple weeks.

I'm with you on this. Given Heyward's calendar-related tendencies and the fact that he's still getting on base at a decent clip, I'd just leave him. If it gets to July and he's still scuffling along, re-visit it. Addison is so young that I'd be hesitant to shake up what's been working. He's trending toward being a pretty ideal No. 2 hitter, but let's just see how it plays out. I think SKO is simply pushing hard on his Addison-leads-the-team-in-WAR fantasy.

You may have hitched your wagon to young Troy Glaus, but when Black Derek Jeter Except Good At Defense is speaking at his 2038 half of fame induction, he'll thank me for always being there.

Ummm, Derek Jeter is black....or at least about as half-black as Addison.

Well this is awkward

[InternetApex]

DPD, but if I was in charge I like the Addison hitting 2nd idea with Heyward dropping down to 6th. I don't think Maddon is perfect - the Rizzo pinch running thing seems particularly bizarre to me as an example - but I do think given Heyward's high-OBP/high-contact track record, and Addison's success thus far with guys on base, it's totally reasonable for Joe to just leave Heyward at #2 and wait for things to presumably work themselves out over the next couple weeks.

I'm with you on this. Given Heyward's calendar-related tendencies and the fact that he's still getting on base at a decent clip, I'd just leave him. If it gets to July and he's still scuffling along, re-visit it. Addison is so young that I'd be hesitant to shake up what's been working. He's trending toward being a pretty ideal No. 2 hitter, but let's just see how it plays out. I think SKO is simply pushing hard on his Addison-leads-the-team-in-WAR fantasy.

You may have hitched your wagon to young Troy Glaus, but when Black Derek Jeter Except Good At Defense is speaking at his 2038 half of fame induction, he'll thank me for always being there.

Ummm, Derek Jeter is black....or at least about as half-black as Addison.

Well this is awkward

I'm literally laughing my ass off and it hurts really bad.

[Saul Goodman]

DPD, but if I was in charge I like the Addison hitting 2nd idea with Heyward dropping down to 6th. I don't think Maddon is perfect - the Rizzo pinch running thing seems particularly bizarre to me as an example - but I do think given Heyward's high-OBP/high-contact track record, and Addison's success thus far with guys on base, it's totally reasonable for Joe to just leave Heyward at #2 and wait for things to presumably work themselves out over the next couple weeks.

I'm with you on this. Given Heyward's calendar-related tendencies and the fact that he's still getting on base at a decent clip, I'd just leave him. If it gets to July and he's still scuffling along, re-visit it. Addison is so young that I'd be hesitant to shake up what's been working. He's trending toward being a pretty ideal No. 2 hitter, but let's just see how it plays out. I think SKO is simply pushing hard on his Addison-leads-the-team-in-WAR fantasy.

You may have hitched your wagon to young Troy Glaus, but when Black Derek Jeter Except Good At Defense is speaking at his 2038 half of fame induction, he'll thank me for always being there.

Ummm, Derek Jeter is black....or at least about as half-black as Addison.

Well this is awkward

I'm literally laughing my ass off and it hurts really bad.

White Troy Glaus is pretty good too. This team, man.

[R-V]

DPD, but if I was in charge I like the Addison hitting 2nd idea with Heyward dropping down to 6th. I don't think Maddon is perfect - the Rizzo pinch running thing seems particularly bizarre to me as an example - but I do think given Heyward's high-OBP/high-contact track record, and Addison's success thus far with guys on base, it's totally reasonable for Joe to just leave Heyward at #2 and wait for things to presumably work themselves out over the next couple weeks.

I'm with you on this. Given Heyward's calendar-related tendencies and the fact that he's still getting on base at a decent clip, I'd just leave him. If it gets to July and he's still scuffling along, re-visit it. Addison is so young that I'd be hesitant to shake up what's been working. He's trending toward being a pretty ideal No. 2 hitter, but let's just see how it plays out. I think SKO is simply pushing hard on his Addison-leads-the-team-in-WAR fantasy.

You may have hitched your wagon to young Troy Glaus, but when Black Derek Jeter Except Good At Defense is speaking at his 2038 half of fame induction, he'll thank me for always being there.

Ummm, Derek Jeter is black....or at least about as half-black as Addison.

Well this is awkward

I'm literally laughing my ass off and it hurts really bad.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGIgnscRz6Q

[Saul Goodman]

Upon reflection and good cause appearing, SKO should have to change his name to Black Derek Jeter, with a photo of Jeter and Russell side by side, for at least a week. Can I get a second?

[Shooter]

That was a hell of a catch.

Collarbone?

[thehawk]

That was a hell of a catch.

Collarbone?

Brilliant Catch, just hope he comes back soon

[SKO]

https://youtu.be/i28UEoLXVFQ